Accepting applications for a mistress

2

Replies

  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    You've been a bad boy.....now get down a lick my boots you piece of scum and beg for my forgiveness *wahpsshhh* Well...there was my tryout portion of it...photos coming soon

    My knees just got weak...:blushing:
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    <<<< app submitted...sorry no 8x10s please forgive me. I just ask for free vodka.

    I'll have to bring you in for an interview. I'll even bring the premium stuff. Grey Goose or better.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Actually....it was this thread that had a great response. However that profile picture the red shirt is what I noticed first. When I clicked on your profile, I recognized your face pic and I have clicked on your profile several times before.

    <<<< app submitted...sorry no 8x10s please forgive me. I just ask for free vodka.

    what kind of vodka again?

    You have tats so you can buy me whatever kind of vodka you like.

    I like your personality, I sent a friend request. Its just coincidental....that it is because of this thread.

    It's always my personality that people notice right away...I love that!
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Show me some leg!
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    You've been a bad boy.....now get down a lick my boots you piece of scum and beg for my forgiveness *wahpsshhh* Well...there was my tryout portion of it...photos coming soon

    My knees just got weak...:blushing:

    Holy cow! ....
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    <<<< app submitted...sorry no 8x10s please forgive me. I just ask for free vodka.

    I'll have to bring you in for an interview. I'll even bring the premium stuff. Grey Goose or better.

    Perfect :) Make sure you bring a lot of the premium vodka if you want me to pose for 8x10s. :drinker:
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    OP. I am interested in your offer and would like to give you the down low on this possible lady.

    I'm experienced in the art of conversation provided we are all using l33t sp33k or Dothraki.
    I'm very experienced at starting fires quickly and making fertiliser bombs. I also know all the words to "Dayman" and will sing it inneccesantly.

    I will openly hit on both your parents and will sleep with your sister on multiple occasions. I have none of the major communicable diseases.

    Please find glamour shots attached


    CFAB53BE-384D-44EB-AF1C-B7B92CA66657-307-00000048B35E7FE1_zps3b15af25.jpg

    86771E1A-D18B-4816-8204-71FAB0907E48-6731-00000821D35FA6BE_zpsf9896317.jpg

    Accepted, but only if you wear the pedo-bear costume at all times. Could be dangerous though, with all that wittiness I may actually grow to like you.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    You've been a bad boy.....now get down and lick my boots you piece of scum and beg for my forgiveness *wahpsshhh* Well...there was my tryout portion of it...photos coming soon
    :blushing: I don't know... sounds like you could be a pro
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    <<<< app submitted...sorry no 8x10s please forgive me. I just ask for free vodka.

    what kind of vodka again?

    You have tats so you can buy me whatever kind of vodka you like.


    I like your personality, I sent a friend request. Its just coincidental....that it is because of this thread.

    I have vodka and tats:drinker:

    I'll be right there. That seriously is all it takes for me and you're SUPER cute that helps :)
  • Codename_Duchess
    Codename_Duchess Posts: 2,042 Member
    Alright, this is my new funniest thread I've come across since joining MFP. :laugh:


    Not to side track, but :bigsmile: <--- kinda looks like a less creepy Gilbert Gottfried.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Alright, this is my new funniest thread I've come across since joining MFP. :laugh:


    Not to side track, but :bigsmile: <--- kinda looks like a less creepy Gilbert Gottfried.

    OMG, I never noticed that!
  • ohenry78
    ohenry78 Posts: 228
    I'll submit my application as well, not so much because I think I can get the job, but because I want to put you through the torture of having to look at 8x10 glossy pics of a pasty fat dude with a farmer's tan.

    I'll even pose topless in them. My lush man-boobs may just be enough to lure you in.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    OP. I am interested in your offer and would like to give you the down low on this possible lady.

    I'm experienced in the art of conversation provided we are all using l33t sp33k or Dothraki.
    I'm very experienced at starting fires quickly and making fertiliser bombs. I also know all the words to "Dayman" and will sing it inneccesantly.

    I will openly hit on both your parents and will sleep with your sister on multiple occasions. I have none of the major communicable diseases.

    Please find glamour shots attached


    CFAB53BE-384D-44EB-AF1C-B7B92CA66657-307-00000048B35E7FE1_zps3b15af25.jpg

    86771E1A-D18B-4816-8204-71FAB0907E48-6731-00000821D35FA6BE_zpsf9896317.jpg

    Accepted, but only if you wear the pedo-bear costume at all times. Could be dangerous though, with all that wittiness I may actually grow to like you.

    Any emotional affection will fade when I confess about the -literally dozens- of prostitutes I've killed.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner

    I think she'd be happy to take care of that

    *hides*
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:
    Are you ambidextrous?
  • wldrose75
    wldrose75 Posts: 128
    hCD7B4B1F

    Yeah, I think that's what he was looking for.
  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
    :wink:
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    2lnilgy.gif
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Any emotional affection will fade when I confess about the -literally dozens- of prostitutes I've killed.

    Was an axe involved?
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner

    I think she'd be happy to take care of that

    *hides*

    Already getting me clients, you're an awesome friend!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,281 Member
    seriously WTF happened in myfitnesspal, i left for a month or 2 and when im back i find hella weirdos everywhere WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm blaming it on the pink moon tonight.
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
    Please include some gloss 8x10's and your list of qualifications. No pro's please, but semi-pros will be considered. Must be able to be discrete.

    Do they have to be pics of our own selves or can we send one of Homer Simpson
  • CharlotteTheCoffeeLover
    CharlotteTheCoffeeLover Posts: 1,205 Member
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Wow....
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner

    I think she'd be happy to take care of that

    *hides*

    Already getting me clients, you're an awesome friend!

    :heart: As long as they don't completely steal you from me, cuz, y'know, I've already admitted my love for you...
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner

    I think she'd be happy to take care of that

    *hides*

    Already getting me clients, you're an awesome friend!

    :heart: As long as they don't completely steal you from me, cuz, y'know, I've already admitted my love for you...
    You could join in and help. Cause, you know, that's what friends are for.
  • 1MariaChristina
    1MariaChristina Posts: 93 Member
    Well i can only work on weekends- id like to keep traveling to a minimum and I am plum outta 8x10's
    And pray tell will there be financial gain in this arrangement for the woman you "select"
    because I think at a minimum there needs to be at least a good spanking. maybe thats just me
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
    Very entertaining. There most be Rum or Vodka.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Before I send in my resume, I just want to point out that it says I have some conversational skills in American Sign Language. That, however, is not the only thing I do proficiently with my hands :wink:

    I now have a boner

    I think she'd be happy to take care of that

    *hides*

    Already getting me clients, you're an awesome friend!

    :heart: As long as they don't completely steal you from me, cuz, y'know, I've already admitted my love for you...
    You could join in and help. Cause, you know, that's what friends are for.

    That sounds like a plan :wink: :wink:
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