Satan! Get your big, fat foot off of MY SCALE!!!

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  • just_fur_luck
    just_fur_luck Posts: 141 Member
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    I'm confused. So you were never fat, it was just Satan mashing the scale with his foot every time you stepped on it? Couldn't you tell when you looked in the mirror that you weren't actually fat? That Satan's a panic. He's always playing jokes like that. The other day he unscrewed the lid on the salt shaker. Classic. Whenever **** like that happens around me I always laugh "oh, Satan. You are a card."
  • camrunner
    camrunner Posts: 363
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    If I may play devil's advocate for a moment...

    Let's say I made a thread saying that the Antipasta is that little voice in our heads telling us to eat and satisfy all of our base, animal cravings. Let's say I declared that only by praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster can we overcome the Antipasta's temptations and achieve our goals and realize our dreams. Let's say I advised you all to genuflect before the Flying Spaghetti Monster to praise him for using His noodly appendage to wrest the Ben & Jerry's out of your grasp mid-binge.

    What kind of response would I get? Doesn't that sound like preaching?
  • Desiread83
    Desiread83 Posts: 1
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    Girl, thank you for voicing exactly what I have been trying to articulate. I couldn't have stated this any better than you just did. God has been teaching me this same fact for the past few years (I can be a slow learner and forget that God is in charge of everything).
    THank you, I will start practicing this. Ever since I read Lysa Turkerherst's book, Craving God, I have been retraining myself to see my health journey in a different way and your post just struck a deep cord in my heart.

    Thank you again for posting this.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    It's all promised in the Bible we believe. Not everyone gets in. Sorry. God is pretty strict in his immigration policy. First order is that you have to believe in him. I am pretty certain that lets most of you out, for now.

    Those of us who walk in the spirit of Christ are loling right now.

    What God and Christ are most strict on in the NT is weeding out people who are obsessed with the letter of the law vs. the spirit of the law.
  • SneakyBat
    SneakyBat Posts: 55 Member
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    I don't blame some imaginary imp for my scale being wonky. I blame my wonky scale.....and I blame my body for not cooperating with my efforts.....

    This. Absolutely.


    Though the illustration did make me chuckle :smile:
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    It's all promised in the Bible we believe. Not everyone gets in. Sorry. God is pretty strict in his immigration policy. First order is that you have to believe in him. I am pretty certain that lets most of you out, for now.
    Honey, if there is a hell, and anyone who doesn't live by every single rule in the Bible ends up in it, I'll make sure to say "hi" when we meet there.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    It's all promised in the Bible we believe. Not everyone gets in. Sorry. God is pretty strict in his immigration policy. First order is that you have to believe in him. I am pretty certain that lets most of you out, for now.

    2vam4hu.gif

    I think some of the finer points of Christian philosophy have been lost on you.

    Most of the major points too, actually. Unless I missed the 'haterz to the left' part of the Sermon on the Mount.
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    You didn't offend me. It seems like you got offended by my comment. Not my intention whatsoever.

    Thank you, Sis. I think that you are a very beautiful young woman. In many ways, you remind me of my younger sister Delight at your age. She had long, black hair and wore eye makeup very similar to your own. She had piercings and even a tatoo. She was always the daring one in our family. I was the older, more conservative sister; but I loved my baby sister very much. We had the same birthday, only 10 years to the day apart. She led a hard life and died very young. I wish that she was here now.

    When I look at your picture, I think of her. I would not want to hurt you, anymore than I would want to hurt Delight. Thank you for the sweet reminder of my lost, little sister. :heart:
  • phatty4dayz
    phatty4dayz Posts: 125 Member
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    I liked the original post, personally. I took it to basically mean that we should not be discouraged by whatever is on the scale. We should just keep trudging along because eventually, we will prevail in our journeys to lose weight. To me, that is a great message regardless of how you feel about religion, spirituality, or the such.

    I guess other people interpreted it differently... *shrugs*
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    When Satan gets off your scale could you send him my way, i wanna grab a drink with him! I hear he is fun!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    It's all promised in the Bible we believe. Not everyone gets in. Sorry. God is pretty strict in his immigration policy. First order is that you have to believe in him. I am pretty certain that lets most of you out, for now.

    2vam4hu.gif

    I think some of the finer points of Christian philosophy have been lost on you.

    Most of the major points too, actually. Unless I missed the 'haterz to the left' part of the Sermon on the Mount.

    ^ This. I also don't remember Jesus being quoted as telling anyone from the cross "tonight you will be living in Hell, sinner."
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    Really? So much ignorance and intolerance of Christians? That it is amazing! Nothing like reading up a little before commenting. Gads! How about at least going to a few Sunday school sessions before KNOWING ALL?
  • pinkgrandmaof8
    pinkgrandmaof8 Posts: 70 Member
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    Sorry you had to experience this Rosie, and you've right, we shouldn't have to hide our faith and the part that it plays in every aspect of our lives.
    It does appear that this applies to everyone except Christians. But this shouldn't come as a surprise to us.
    I love you and am proud to be your sister in Christ.
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    Anti-God people are full of themselves. You can take it to the bank. They walk around with a chip on their shoulde andr are in amazement when people are repulsed at their arrogance. They are a bunch of intolerant fruit cakes in my opinion. The good news is that when we get to Heaven, we won't have to tolerate them. To Hell with them, literally.


    You are so sweet! Aw thank you for saying such nice things about us strangers :) Hugs!
  • mrsmary0
    mrsmary0 Posts: 25
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    Love this! God is really helping me with my weight loss too.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    Really? So much ignorance and intolerance of Christians? That it is amazing! Nothing like reading up a little before commenting. Gads! How about at least going to a few Sunday school sessions before KNOWING ALL?

    Don't even pull the "I'm being persecuted" bullsh*t! You started it with your disrespectful comments about non-believers and damning us all to a fiery pit. You're not doing your religion any favors with your behavior.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
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    My problems were the elves and the voices in my head.

    But the voices in my head finally told me to kill the elves and bury their little bodies so their little elfin feet wouldn't step on my damn scale again.

    Problem solved.

    Now if I can just get my unicorn to stop dragging his butt across my living room floor and leaving rainbows everywhere . . .



    OMFFFGGGGG best answer EVER!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • volume77
    volume77 Posts: 670 Member
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    LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
  • volume77
    volume77 Posts: 670 Member
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    Anti-God people are full of themselves. You can take it to the bank. They walk around with a chip on their shoulde andr are in amazement when people are repulsed at their arrogance. They are a bunch of intolerant fruit cakes in my opinion. The good news is that when we get to Heaven, we won't have to tolerate them. To Hell with them, literally.


    You are so sweet! Aw thank you for saying such nice things about us strangers :) Hugs!





    HAHAHHAHHA
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    To all my MFP sisters and brothers. Please...stop attacking each other in post. Had I known that my little cartoon would cause so much anger and controversy, I would have just put it on my Facebook page...not here.

    The ONLY reason that I posted it as a topic on the open boards was the picture. I don't know how to post a photo or picture on my own MFP wall.

    This post was not meant to hurt anyone, especially a sweet, young lady in New York who I have never met. I don't want to see her insulted or criticized any more. The rude remarks about non-Christians is most offensive to ME. I will not and cannot judge others for their beliefs.
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