I have had ENOUGH (binge-eating)

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  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    We should start a support group for binge-eaters like us. haha. I live alone with my daughter and she is too little to really hold me accountable. I know when I am around people I don't binge. Even at parties. I avoid the food table because I feel like people can tell I want to binge on certain things. I also certainly never log a binge on MFP.

    Nor do I! If someone were to judge me based on my MFP account, they'd think I was a full on 100% healthy eater 24/7! If only! I don't binge around others either, although I have actually been binge-eating more at work (at my desk) and in secret at home (I'll binge when my boyfriend is upstairs) etc. I'm pretty sure it's getting worse.
  • miissnessa
    miissnessa Posts: 43 Member
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    Whatever you do, do not let your boyfriend hold you back of anything. Do this for you. What makes YOU happy. If he loves you enough, he should understand. I know how it feels to binge eat, I'm struggling with that but if you have goals set in your mind and motivations, it shouldn't be too hard. It will be at first, but once you see the weight coming off, it'll get easier and easier for you and by your tracker, it looks like you're doing well. Keep it up and remember, you're strong enough to do this if you put your mind to it. Do what makes you happy and in the end, you will be. :)
  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    Whatever you do, do not let your boyfriend hold you back of anything. Do this for you. What makes YOU happy. If he loves you enough, he should understand. I know how it feels to binge eat, I'm struggling with that but if you have goals set in your mind and motivations, it shouldn't be too hard. It will be at first, but once you see the weight coming off, it'll get easier and easier for you and by your tracker, it looks like you're doing well. Keep it up and remember, you're strong enough to do this if you put your mind to it. Do what makes you happy and in the end, you will be. :)

    Thank you for this. I hope I have not made out my boyfriend to be a bad person - he's my best friend and a genuinely thoughtful and caring soul, but he just DOES-NOT-UNDERSTAND. Full stop. But I think that it's difficult to get your head around something like this if you haven't been through it personally. I just need to tell him that I'm doing this for me (so that I can be a nicer person for him to be with haha! I can be a major depressed grouch when I've had a binge, not exactly the most amazing girlfriend to be around!)
  • howardheilweil
    howardheilweil Posts: 604 Member
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    The eating is symptomatic of other issues that you really need to address with a professional as soon a possible. You mention that you are depressed from eating. It is very possible that it is the other way around and trying to change your eating habits will probably not improve the depression. Please talk to someone about this as soon as possible.
  • kalyse
    kalyse Posts: 23 Member
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    i had this same exact moment a few days ago - i starting writing about my days as an emotional release (mfp blog) - made it known to everyone what i was doing to help myself take control of my relationship with food. it has only been 3 days BUT the emotional aspect of it has already changed significantly. you need to be proactive - and remember this is FOR YOU - no one else matters. its ok to be be selfish right now so you can get better. you dont need permission from ur boyfriend to stay away from trigger foods - sure his support would be awesome but if he doesnt understand find someone else who does. ( i dont mean dump him - just find someone else who can be supportive in this aspect of your life). my boyfriend doesnt understand it either. ive tried to help him "get it" but he doesnt. i realized that me trying to get him to understand was just an excuse for me to keep doing what i was doing and prolonging my unhealthy relationship with food because underneath it all i wasn't ready to change.

    the relationship you have with food wasnt created overnight and its going to take time to develop a new one. try to focus on one day at time and be proud of the small accomplishments you make everyday.
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
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    Try showing him a day from your food diary when you didn't consume trigger foods and then a day when you binged.
  • eep223
    eep223 Posts: 624 Member
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    Something else you might try is logging your foods before you eat them. You might be less likely to binge if you see how much you can eat and stay in calorie range. This is something else that helped me.
  • kalyse
    kalyse Posts: 23 Member
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    Try showing him a day from your food diary when you didn't consume trigger foods and then a day when you binged.

    she said she doesnt log binges - i didnt either until recently. i think it helps to log them/log EVERYTHING even if your ashamed of it - especially when you have mfp friends who are looking out for you.
  • Sparlingo
    Sparlingo Posts: 938 Member
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    I have never had to deal with binge eating personally, but I have had my own disordered eating and certainly could never pass judgement (secretive eating, night eating, anorexia in the past).

    I do have a few binge-eating prone friends in my friend list, though, and it appears that something that helps them is to make sure their MFP friends understand that they need support and not judgement . . . and then log their binges with full and complete honesty.

    Putting something in the light takes away some of it's power and shame. Acknowledging what has happened as you move on and not allowing that event to rule you seems to be a good step for a lot of these friends.

    All the best to you as you grab hold of your health!
  • woodsygirl
    woodsygirl Posts: 354 Member
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    If you are binging and not gaining, you might need to increase how much you eat. I mean, if you do not gain weight after eating all that food, you really just might not be eating enough and it is making those binges much worse. It's just something to think about.
  • BikerGirlElaine
    BikerGirlElaine Posts: 1,631 Member
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    There is a physiological reason why you binge eat. It is not psychological, but biochemical. The depression comes from the same biochemical imbalance. Take a look at radiantrecovery.com and see what you think. It helped me tremendously.
  • Conniea121
    Conniea121 Posts: 9
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    I like the statement "I am doing it for my self, no one else matters." I believe this, because one taste dose matter, at least for me. If I take that one taste, I just as well eat the whole thing. That's a trigger, one taste. I am starting on my third day of no sugar, its hard!!!!! But voicing my opinion hopefully will help.
    :smile:
  • k8tersan
    k8tersan Posts: 1
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    Have you ever thought about you may have a gluten intolerance? I gave up gluten about year ago and it really changed my life. Before I was always depressed, binge ate all the time, and my health was in the toilet. The big thing that makes me think you may not be gluten intolerant is that your weight is so normal, mine was not (long time process, but I'm down from almost 350 lbs!). However, the depression from wheat heavy foods makes me think that you may have at least a sensitivity. Everyone's body responds differently to food. I would go with your gut, if you think these foods are harming you, give them up. There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck!
  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    I'm always honest with my boyfriend - I've told him the amount and types of food I can eat in one sitting - I tell him nearly every time (after, of course) I binge. He comforts me, but looks a bit lost whenever I tell him these things. I do not want him to have to be responsible for me, or anything like that. This is MY problem, not his. But whenever I tell him 'I just can't eat that without going overboard' he almost gets angry. It's like I'm telling him that HE can't eat it (to which I always reply, he can eat whatever the hell he wants! I'm just particularly food sensitive and some things trigger me off!) All in all, whenever I approach abstinence, he never exactly takes it well.

    I've tried abstinence a few (twice?) times before, but always get off on the wrong foot when I allow myself 'cheats'. Like, I've tried abstaining from sugary things APART from on birthdays, holidays and special events - but then before I know it, I start to think of simple things, like a friend coming over for tea, as a 'special event.' Before I know it, I'm back to the binge.

    Just got to be strong and make myself clear I guess!
  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    Have you ever thought about you may have a gluten intolerance? I gave up gluten about year ago and it really changed my life. Before I was always depressed, binge ate all the time, and my health was in the toilet. The big thing that makes me think you may not be gluten intolerant is that your weight is so normal, mine was not (long time process, but I'm down from almost 350 lbs!). However, the depression from wheat heavy foods makes me think that you may have at least a sensitivity. Everyone's body responds differently to food. I would go with your gut, if you think these foods are harming you, give them up. There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck!

    I don't think I'm gluten intolerant (believe me, I can eat a TONNE of bread and suffer nothing but a bloated stomach, obviously) but I do believe that an excess of carbohydrates might not help my binge eating. I've read a lot about carbohydrates effecting insulin (drops in blood sugar, making you crave more, etc) so I've been trying to keep my carbohydrates down to a mid-level recently. It's early days.
  • luckyinlove2
    luckyinlove2 Posts: 66 Member
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    Maybe, just maybe, you can talk with your boyfriend about giving away most of his delicious baking. Whether he realizes it or not, he's in denial about how much of a problem you feel you have. If he just HAS to bake, he needs to not leave it for you to handle! It would be a nice gesture to show that even if he doesn't quite understand; he still needs to do this for you. Meanwhile, keep busy, keep away from the triggers. Many of us know how hard it is to resist when it's right there in front of you. If you don't see (and smell) it, there's not a problem.
  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    If you are binging and not gaining, you might need to increase how much you eat. I mean, if you do not gain weight after eating all that food, you really just might not be eating enough and it is making those binges much worse. It's just something to think about.

    It is a bit of a conundrum - I do count myself as VERY lucky to have not become overweight. If you looked at my weekly intake including binges, you wouldn't believe you were looking at the food diary of a healthy-weight individual.

    I have taken this into consideration though. I'm lucky enough (I think) to have a high metabolism, so I think it is important for me to eat enough calories. I try to stick to 1600 at the very minimum, but not over 2000.
  • _Frankie_
    _Frankie_ Posts: 36
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    Maybe, just maybe, you can talk with your boyfriend about giving away most of his delicious baking. Whether he realizes it or not, he's in denial about how much of a problem you feel you have. If he just HAS to bake, he needs to not leave it for you to handle! It would be a nice gesture to show that even if he doesn't quite understand; he still needs to do this for you. Meanwhile, keep busy, keep away from the triggers. Many of us know how hard it is to resist when it's right there in front of you. If you don't see (and smell) it, there's not a problem.

    I'll try and talk to him about this - but I can see where it's going already. He eats a lot of bread and is lucky enough to have a healthy relationship with food - but does not realize that when I go home after a horrid day at work and see a lovely fresh loaf - I go bread crazy. If I asked him to give away his baked foods, he'd see it as me asking him to give up bread too.
  • DiabolicBooger
    DiabolicBooger Posts: 198 Member
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    binge eating can be fun....YUMMMM....yeah trigger foods, got to keep them out of the house or at least out of sight. I might go on a wild multi-cake eating binge twice a month. Here's how its starts for me...get the taste of refined sugar type food in my mouth with say a cookie or something...then I want to chase that high it gives me, so it builds and builds and builds....next thing I know I spent $70 on cakes and bakery items for 2 meals...LMAO I kind of think its fun though. Or it might go like this, one piece of chocolate and be like "O that wasn't bad, I can have 2 pieces of chocolate" then im like, "well I can have a third piece of chocolate cause its only 50% more chocolate!" then Im like, "I can have a fourth piece of chocolate cause that's only 30% more chocolate!" then I have a fifth piece of chocolate cause its only 25% more chocolate.....then I go buy 6 or 7 cakes and eat them all, sometimes I throw the cakey part away and just eat the icing! o yeah then comes a really awesome strength work out follow by a bunch of guilt....LMAO

    I "dedi-cake" this post to:
    Doughnuts
    ho ho pie
    snickers pie
    M&M pie
    sugar cookies
    Chocolate Morsels for baking
    Ready made pie crust
    Raisin nut bran
    Granulated sugar
    Maple syrup
    Boston crème pie with or with out strawberries
    Carrot cake
    Twix pie
    Any candy bar
    Nuts
    Hersey kisses
    Any chocolate
    German chocolate cake
    Crumb coffee cake
    Basically anything in the bakery section

    LMAO....YUMMMM
  • sk_pirate
    sk_pirate Posts: 282 Member
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    Sweetie! I just want to give you a big big hug!!

    I understand being depressed over binge eating too, I have been there. I felt like my life was ripping apart at the seams, and it was affecting everything. My relationships, my well being, my job, EVERYTHING. I've been battling depression since my early teens. I was stubborn in thinking I could handle it myself. I could for a little while, but then something would happen and I'd hit rock bottom all over again. (Cue several binges) Finally at 27 I checked my pride at the door, and talked to my doctor. Best thing I did for myself. She found me the right meds to go on that would also not interfere with my weight loss journey. Now I've found almost complete balance in everything, and I feel like me again! I can't even tell you the last time I ate until I exploded.

    I just wanted to share my story because you're not alone.

    I wish I had some advice about your boyfriend, but others before me have given AWESOME advice! My bf had to suddenly change his diet around so we support eachother. His health issues at 27 is ridiculous, but nothing a change in diet can't help!

    Chin up darlin. It will get better, I promise :flowerforyou:

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