How I suck at weight loss

I have been here for 900 days now, more than 2 years and lost about 20 pounds, didn’t run a marathon, didn’t win bikini figure competition and still can’t do a freaking pull up to save my life.
Why put this on success story then?

Because each and every one of those pounds have been a battle. Nothing in those 900 days has been easy. Not eating 10 cookies for desert….not easy. Having to weight and log what I eat….not easy. Getting up my bottom and exercising……..really freaking hard. It was all hard….but it was also all worth it.

What is worth doing is rarely easy.

Before I got pregnant with my 13 years old son, I was a size 2 at 110 pounds but gained 45 pounds with him and didn’t lose those pounds, in fact, I gained even more because of post partum depression. The highest I have ever been is 165-170 pounds on my 4’11” frame. Obese. I was obese and unhappy in my day to day life. When my son turned 1, I separated from my son father and found myself again. I was able to go down to about 135 pounds by just eating less and walking everywhere since I didn’t have a car anymore. Then realized my lifelong dream of being a surrogate mother and gave birth to 4 precious little persons. I also got pregnant of my daughter on the middle of 2 surrogacies. After every pregnancy, I was able to get down to 135-128 pounds. After my last pregnancies, I got really sick with high blood pressure and diabetes ……that taste of sickness what has been motivating me for the last 2 years. My weight had nothing to do with being sick but I knew I would do anything to not have to deal with those kinds of health problems. Also I have won the genetic lottery with my grandmother and mother both having a heart attack at 46.


IMG_2717 by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

Like everyone and their mother, I was put on a 1200 calories a day diet and did cardio galore…anyone on my friend list know how much I hate cardio…..with a hot fiery passion but I did it because it is what you have to do to lose weight. I did lose weight….about 15 pounds in about 3 months….not bad, but I was just a smaller version of my fatter self.


dan,kids party, liam poop , lucie dogs 037 by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

When I decided to lift heavy, almost nobody else here was doing it. It was scary but I knew that it was what I had to do in order to change my body.

I never loved myself……even at 110 pounds. I remember quitting synchronized swimming at 12 because I felt fat. Now for the first time at almost 40 years old, I am slowly learning to love myself even with the stretch marks and the disappearing boobs. I have nice legs……coming for someone that is a pear shape, it mean a lot. I have nice arms and shoulders. I am in love with my collar bone.


SAM_2405 by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

IMG_20130420_180414 by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr

I had time in those 900 days where I wanted to quit since I was going nowhere fast but I am happy I didn’t……because time will pass whether you do it or you don’t.

TL:DR I did it slowly but surely