Well, why can't you?

I'm getting very tired of seeing posts whining that I can't stop bingeing, I can't stop eating or drinking thus and so, I can't stop falling off the wagon...well, why can't you? Is somebody standing there holding a gun to your head and forcing you to eat that cupcake or pizza or whatever? Do you really want to lose weight and get healthier or do you want to shovel in pop-tarts? You don't need hand-holding and people constantly reassuring you, you aren't a baby and don't need to be treated like one. If you don't want to do it, muscle up some self control and don't do it, and if you haven't got the self-control, that's nobody's fault but your own. This isn't being harsh, it's REALISTIC. Get some willpower. If you don't you WILL fail. Nobody can do it for you, you have to do it yourself.

I actually found this really motivational... not just with regards to weightloss, but with everything. This is what it all boils down to really... just DON'T DO IT. Thanks

I have to agree with the OP. I have a problem stopping eating, always eating the wrong foods & never wanting to waste so I'll finish others as well. Then I have my depression & I'm also an emotional eater.


Yet I'm the only one responsible for that food choice....willpower. Everyone has it, just some are weak and can't enforce it. Sorry but that's the truth.


People do need support, but damnit..... if you can't NOT use your own willpower to NOT eat it even though you KNOW you should not then all the support in the world is not going to help you. Self-control is there, you use it in everyday life. You know that. So why can't you use it with food? Don't ***** when you can't control it AGAIN for the umpteenth time..... it comes across as attention seeking or 'woe is me'

Well, it's been 85 days now. I have been under my calorie goal every day, I have never taken a "cheat day" , I have lost weight at each weigh in. I am doing it slowly because I want to do it slowly, as my skin is not young anymore. I honestly have had no trouble sticking to the program. My diary is open, feel free to look if you want to.
And YES it's a matter of individual determination. None of you are going to rush to somebody's house and yank that fork out of the person's hand. My point is that it can be done. Not easy, but it can be done. I think I made a positive point.

Ooh goodie gumdrops, I am SUPER pleased that you can do this so perfectly. Great example. *slow clap*

Now the only thing that isn't adding up in my head is how you got to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place since it COULDN'T have been through overeating or underexercising since you are clearly so determined...

I think you missed that part about people complaining & winging about failing time & time again. Not HOW they got there but how they can't seem to leave the food alone & then ***** about eating it.

I had a roommate once who, whilst trying to lose weight, WANTED people to berate her. She wanted people to tell her she was fat, lazy, to put down the cupcake, you worthless loser.

This roommate's most exceptional trait, however, was that she was a TOTAL SOCIOPATH. Seriously. No capacity for empathy, no real sympathy. I saw her do terrible things all for her own self-interest, or because she was bored and wanted to.

When she told me I was fat it spiraled me in to a binge-self hate cycle. She just couldn't understand why it made me feel that way. She didn't understand and didn't care!

So maybe there are certain types of people who want to be insulted so that they have the motivation to get skinny: AKA spite. But that's not most people, OP. And your harsh words aren't going to help. Sounds like you won't understand/care.

This kind of topic I would likely take all points as valid. Everyone is different, some people just give in to temptation more than others. Habits are hard to break. You can only stick to breaking a habit once you reach a certain place in your mind. No matter what you want to achieve, mentally the road you take to getting there will vary from the next person.

Great comment!

Unless you've had an ED you wouldn't understand.
Food is literally addictive. Science proves is. Food addicts get
The same release of endorphins as drug addicts do.

And if you have low serotonin, it's harder to say No. So some people have a unique biochemical makeup that sets them up to binge eat.

Well, it's been 85 days now. I have been under my calorie goal every day, I have never taken a "cheat day" , I have lost weight at each weigh in. I am doing it slowly because I want to do it slowly, as my skin is not young anymore. I honestly have had no trouble sticking to the program. My diary is open, feel free to look if you want to.
And YES it's a matter of individual determination. None of you are going to rush to somebody's house and yank that fork out of the person's hand. My point is that it can be done. Not easy, but it can be done. I think I made a positive point.

As someone who lost weight CONSISTENTLY for about 9 months before beginning to binge-eat, I can attest to the fact that people off days - even if they never had them before. Why? Because as SOON as that scale stops budging, even if it's for a week or two, you (or me, whatever) go into a mode of panic. You start doubting, and freaking out, and getting frustrated. Then, at at 12 am when it's late and you're alone with your thoughts, your mind starts reeling. You start to think "Why am I even doing this?" "Why am I getting myself so worked up over something I can control? I CAN JUST EAT IF I WANT TO." And so you eat. But you don't just eat a cookie. You eat a bag of cookies, and a pint of ice cream, and maybe even half a jar of Nutella.

The thing is, an ED is only understood by those who go through it. Of course, it's possible to get out of that habit. You have to, otherwise you'll fail. But it's exactly like quitting cigarettes or heroin: you can't just tell someone "Stop! This is bad!" and expect them to quit cold turkey. It takes time. Getting to the point of dependency is EXTREMELY difficult, but addiction is most certainty not. I get where you're coming from, everything is in your head. But sometimes it's not easy to get your head to cooperate. Especially when you've got low self-esteem, and body imagine issues, and a whole load of other things eating away at your motivation and will power.

(Yes, some people are just plain lazy and looking for excuses, but others have actual problems that they're not in control of.)

So, OP, while I do completely understand what you're saying, I think you've forgotten to take a ton of things into consideration. Stop trying to tell people how "easy" it is to do something just because you've never experienced it. I mean, there are surely things that you find difficult and/or exhausting and other people are constantly saying things like "Why do you have trouble with that?! It's so simple." I highly doubt that makes you feel good. I'm not targeting you, or even claiming that you're wrong, but there are a lot of factors that play into this situation that you must take into account.

This.

I'm a recovering addict to other substances and while willpower does eventually play a role, it is NOT about simple abstinence from whatever ails you. Pulling away from your addiction DOES require a certain amount of whining, of stamping of feet and crying and feeling sorry for yourself. Why? Because you are, in essence, grieving the loss of a very important, very dearly held crutch.

There will be an empty space after you leave your addiction. You will stumble. Your footing will be unsure of itself. To deny that one should have troubles (and not complain about it) is to refuse a person's emotions - and that only leads to relapse. Rather than come to terms with the tornado of emotions, they will simply stuff it. This does nothing but make you sicker.

OP: You are making (and continuing to defend) a very empty statement that shows an utter lack of understanding about disordered behaviors.

Another good post. I quit smoking many years ago and went through a fragile period. Some people need to talk it out. That's part of their recovery.

Would you say the same thing to an alcoholic or drug addict "Just don't take meth. It's easy. Just simply don't take it"? On the one hand, you're correct in saying that's what is involved in getting clean from an addiction - just don't take drugs today, then don't take them tomorrow or the day after, and keep on not taking them for the rest of your life. Easy. Billions of people do it every day.

On the other hand, saying such a thing to a drug addict would betray a breathtaking ignorance of the complexities and difficulty of giving up drugs. To successfully give up drugs you have to change your lifestyle, your habits, your friends and acquaintances, your thought patterns and beliefs. You also have to endure physical suffering. And you have to acquire new habits, thought patterns, beliefs, pastimes, friends etc. and build an entirely new life, a new self. It's not easy, and relapse is part of recovery. Support is crucial.

Losing weight is not so different. We all got fat through years of bad habits, unhealthy lifestyles, faulty beliefs, unhelpful thought patterns. We have to change all those things in order to lose weight, and we have to endure hunger. Millions of years of evolution has programmed all animals to seek food when they are hungry, but we have to suppress that survival instinct consistently day in day out for weeks or months. It's hard, and we're bound to slip up once in a while, and when we do we come to MFP to share our feelings of self-directed anger and frustration "Arrgh! I binged. Why did I do that when I knew I shouldn't? Why is it so hard?". We think MFP is a safe place to vent our feelings where we won't be made to feel any worse than we feel already.

So you're right and you're wrong, OP. Losing weight is simple, but simple is not the same as easy. That's why we need to support each other, and that's why I think you should button it.

I like you. Very well worded post.

Unless you've had an ED you wouldn't understand.
Food is literally addictive. Science proves is. Food addicts get
The same release of endorphins as drug addicts do.
And why do you care about other people?
Support people and worry about yourself.
Be thankful YOU don't have an ED.

you don't see people turning tricks for a Mc Chicken tho do you?

Sadly, I have.....

OP - time to admit this post went SO much better in your head. If willpower and saying no is just that easy, how did you get here?

Some people DO need the constant reassurance, the constant hand-holding, and who doesn't need to stomp their feet and whine a little? It's life.

You sound hangry.