preteen is over-weight

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  • mn518
    mn518 Posts: 18
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    My son is about 15 pounds overweight and at his last check up I was told to help him maintain his weight and that at this age (he's 11) he should not be trying to lose weight. He doesn't like sports so we joined a gym together and I pay for him to go to the kids personal training sessions 3 times a week. There are 4 kids in his group and he really likes it. The trainer also talks to them about nutrition and healthy food choices too. The doctor never mentioned his weight in front of him so he doesn't know that's the reason he got signed up. I told him I thought the class sounded fun and that I wanted to work out and noticed the kids class when I signed myself up. Fortunately for us he does like it and he's learned a lot about healthy foods too.

    You might have something similar in your area for your daughter. Maybe your local hospital has children's fitness and nutrition classes. Ours do here as well as some of the gyms. I also agree that you should talk to her doctor about everything and see what they recommend.
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
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    Maybe a personal question..but has she started her monthly yet? About a year before my oldest started hers, she was over weight by a bit and seemed like the weight was just hanging on....Once that started the weight seemed to come off as quick as it came on...Talk to her dr though about putting her on any type of diet. And always tell her she is beautiful.
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
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    Sorry, but 11 years old and 148 pounds is not just "a little weight gain". And gaining a pound a week is definitely not normal. She's already heavier than most grown women at 11 years old. Sorry to be blunt, OP, I know you're struggling with this, and I commend your efforts to get her on track. Either she's eating food outside of the home and unbeknownst to you, or she has a medical issue.

    First, I would get her a thorough check-up with her doctor. Explain what's been going on, and see what the doc says. Next, check out sparkteens - it's like MFP for kids. I've heard great things about it. Supposedly, it's very supportive and non-judgmental.

    Best of luck to you and her.
  • StArBeLLa87
    StArBeLLa87 Posts: 1,582 Member
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    I can understand being I was a overweight pre teen not as heavy but I really wish there was a MFP back when I was young all the teasing I dealt with made my self worth rather low I still struggle to this day I would nicely encourage her to be more active stray her away from video games and tv invite her to join you at the gym for mother and daughter bonding

    I found out my problem was PCOS my parents neglected to take me to the dr after starting my period then not getting it for over two years ugh now as a result of that neglect I can't have children so please take her to the DR :ohwell:
  • rachel4304
    rachel4304 Posts: 115 Member
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    As a Doctor:

    1) Get her to a pediatrician to determine if this is normal and make sure her physical health checks out. Do what that Doctor says.

    2) Get your daughter a counselor. Weight can be lost, emotional scars cant.

    3) Be reassuring and supportive but back off.

    4) Let physicians and therapists decide what to do. Even if you were one of these, your not capable of being objective.

    ^^This
  • Mock_Turtle
    Mock_Turtle Posts: 354 Member
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    1. go to the doctor and get a check up asap

    2. Be a positive role model and get rid of all the junk food in the house .... they will probably still sneak food at school/friends but at least you set the tone

    3. encourage her to take up some type of fitness activities, or even more activities if she's already in some
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I wish my parents taught me how to calorie count and about portion control. My mother knew how to do it, but never taught me for fear I would have a bad body image.

    You know what gives a kid a bad body image? Being fat and overweight.

    Once I learned to track my food, the weight came off and I no more feeling like crap about myself. Problem solved.

    Why folks tip toe around this subject I will never know...
  • shadowkat57
    shadowkat57 Posts: 151 Member
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    Can you tell us a bit about your diet? What foods do you eat, and how much? My problem is that even when I try to eat "healthy" foods, I eat too damn much! And then there's all the foods that seem healthy/low cal but really aren't...

    I don't really like the idea of your daughter calorie counting - I like the general healthy ilfestyle approach better - but I guess you could do regular quiet checks on her diet, and tweak accordingly.

    Does she help to prepare/cook food? I think this is an important skill for young adults, and makes them much less reliant on processed foods.
  • maab12
    maab12 Posts: 65 Member
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    what most people dont usually check is the throid. A lot of people believe that problems only accure in adults but it happens in kids and teens as well. You might consider getting the thyroid checked out just to be on the safe side. all it takes is a test
  • Cocozest
    Cocozest Posts: 28 Member
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    Take her to the doctor to get a check up.

    Personally, I wouldn't recommend teaching her how to count calories.. I know it works for some people, but I think the main emphasis should be on healthy eating. Does she eat out of boredom? Is she watching tv or surfing the internet for several hours? What foods are available for her to eat? These questions you have to answer by observing your daughter's habits.

    Physical exercise pretty important. She might be discouraged to exercise at first because of the fear of how she's perceived, but try to make exercise fun for her. Something small like swimming or riding a bike. Anything that would make her move for 30 minutes. As of for nutrition/food, it helps to let her become involve in the food process. Let her help out cooking, it makes her involved and gives her something to do. It might even encourage her to cook healthy meals for the family instead of resorting to unhealthy snacks.

    The most important thing is to be supportive and to foster a positive environment. The worst thing to do is to compare a child to another child's image.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Do you know why she got to 148lbs in the first place? Curious.. I hope things work out and she starts to feel better about herself.
  • sarahmonsta
    sarahmonsta Posts: 185 Member
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    As a child I was heavy, I also developed an eating disorder because of pressure to be a certain weight. I think it is more important to be active with your child, have healthy food options in the house (along with the occasional treat). She is a child and she doesn't need the amount of calories in food running through her head. I also feel that kids are going to be mean, and therefore teaching her to stick up for herself and LOVE HERSELF would be good too. All I can say is be a good role model.
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
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    I'd make an appointment with the family doctor and/or a dietician. First to make sure that's she doesn't have an underlying condition that is causing weight gain and second for help with what does and doesn't need to be changed.
  • shadowkat57
    shadowkat57 Posts: 151 Member
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    Oh, and what kind of regular exercise are you doing? How long each time, how many times a week, what kind of activity?
  • BlessedOne2019
    BlessedOne2019 Posts: 41 Member
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    I so understand how you feel. I have a teenager who is overweight also...imagine that, huh? I haven't always been the best example as to how to eat, and move, move, move! But recently she was at the doctor and he mentioned it. so we talked about it on the way home. I asked her how that made her feel. She told me she wants to lose some weight, but needs help to do it. I have always struggled with my weight, so I know I do not want her to go through the same things I did. She knows that I am calorie counting, but I will not allow her to. I do not want her that conscious about it. She has enough problems. All teens do! So we have made some changes in our kitchen. Healthy snacks, because she is always wanting a snack. I only allow her to have one snack out of the pantry and one from the frig (cheese or yogurt, or cottage cheese) and then a piece of fruit later in the day if she is actually hungry! We have also started walking as a family. Every day (except Sun.)!! It helps our teens to know we are on their side...not just by words, but actions too! What we will do in moderation, our kids will do in excess...therefore if we are eating just a little more than we should, they will eat a lot more than they should! I hope this helps you and your daughter, pray that you guys can get healthy together!
  • kaylindeschanel
    kaylindeschanel Posts: 105 Member
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    i'm so sorry to hear this!

    remember that it's 80% diet, 20% exercise.
    make sure that she's staying active with something that she likes to do! if she hates running, don't force her to run. let her take up ice skating, something new - yoga, pilates, cycling, rock climbing, hiking, cross country, track, ballet. whatever!

    let her eat very healthy - the calories don't matter.
    it's what you put into her body that does.
    quality > quantity.

    if you need help / inspiration for healthy foods, feel free to search it up online. don't restrict her - meaning, don't tell her "you cannot eat this/that" - that will only make it more frustrating when she DOES. let her eat whatever she wants in MODERATION.

    teaching moderation is so important.
    remember, eat a lot of nothing and a little bit of everything.

    feel free to add me if you need support or advice. :) i'm here for the both of you!
  • ngressman
    ngressman Posts: 229 Member
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    I have a 4 year old who is obese, so I can truly empathize with your situation. I kept thinking he would outgrow his weight, but he kept gaining. His pediatrician recommended a wonderful diet. It's called the Red LIght Green Light Eat Right Diet. There are no calorie counting, it's learning to eat right. It's a simple plan to follow-even school lunches can be adapted for the plan. It is less stressful than calorie counting. Joanna Dolgoff is the doctor who wrote the book. The thing that is great about the diet is that red light foods,(treats, fries, cakes, cookies, etc) are allowed. (Two red lights a week). My son has lost 2 pounds so far. I am most concerned about my son's self esteem. Right now the kids don't care about his weight, but I know that soon it will be and it will be an issue for him. I have tried to make changes for the whole family and not just for my son and myself. This is a rough road for me and I know it will be hard for you, too. Try to be consistent. Good luck, and know that there are many of us here who can empathize.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Your pre-teen is in the stages of puberty, so of of course she is going to gain weight!! Her skeleton is growing and she is gaining muscle and breasts. Stop being concerned with the scale and be more concerned with teaching her how to lead a more healthy lifestyle. Ask her if she is interested in team sports, and if so, sign her up and support her.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    148 sounds pretty massive for 11 years old though.
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
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    Not to be rude, but is she overweight or overfat? Does she have a more stocky frame and build or is this just excess fat that she has gained? I only ask because at 11 years old I went through a growth spurt when I hit puberty, and I was already very muscular and stocky. I grew a few inches, gained about 20 pounds, and suddenly had the body of a woman. In fact, I was about 150 pounds. I wasn't "fat" though, most of it was muscle as I was very active. After that growth spurt I pretty much stopped growing or gaining weight until I was an adult. (Yes I am the same height now as when I was 12 years old). People grow at different rates - focus on making sure your daughter is eating well, getting plenty of exercise, and forget what the scale says. If she's still gaining a lot of weight in 6 months or a year, then I would have her see a doctor or nutritionist.

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