Guys ALWAYS say "confidence matters" LOL.

originalcookiemonster
originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
in Chit-Chat
HOWEVA....

JUST SAYING... its been my experience that guys can say that confidence is the number one attraction they have for us ladies (and I'm not saying its not important) but I have learned over time that when it all boils down to it, the girls gotta be hot to them or he ain't gonna be feelin' it. Sometimes no amount of confidence will make up for his not being attracted. Which is really totally fine.

So you know, theoretically, I can be as confident in my own skin as Kesha decked out in a tub full of glitter but if the guy isn't attracted to me, it ain't gonna matter. Not that I'd personally give a tiny rats behind (edited for MFP purposes) if he thought I was hot or not, I'm just saying a theoretical lack of confidence wouldn't be an important factor. So for guys that say, "well she just needs to be confident" or some other lame excuse, they can stuff it. Lol. If its cuz you don't think she's hot, then say so. Lets not hide behind, "Oh confidence is what she was lacking...." But perhaps not many women are like me and would want to hear that.

Thoughts? Just been pondering on this for a bit.
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Replies

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I prefer cash
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    Male.
    Female.
    Confidence, or lack there of, irrelevant if you do not find them attractive. (Almost always.)
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    I prefer cash

    44235-make-it-rain-lil-wayne-gif-zMKV.gif
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Cute face...
  • slim133lbs
    slim133lbs Posts: 11
    :tongue: whatever..
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    LMAO I don't know who popularized this confidence BS. If you find someone unattractive their amount of confidence is irrelevant.
  • Minerva624
    Minerva624 Posts: 577 Member
    Well I'm a girl (derp) and a guy can have all the confidence in the world but if I'm not physically attracted to him then there's no chance. Women aren't really any different when it comes to this.
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being isn'ld be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Being nice isn't a requirement, when a girl likes you, most of the time being a jerk doesn't change her mind...
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Well I'm a girl (derp) and a guy can have all the confidence in the world but if I'm not physically attracted to him then there's no chance. Women aren't really any different when it comes to this.

    Exactly...
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    Your right.

    I don't care how confident a dude thinks he is. If I find him annoying or unnattractive, it may make it worse! I am sure it holds true for men too. If you dont like a girl and they are over confident... yikes.
  • FearAndTrembling
    FearAndTrembling Posts: 54
    I've always heard women like confident men, not the other way around. A confident women is not more attractive than a shy, unsure one.
  • OfficerFuzzy
    OfficerFuzzy Posts: 222 Member
    I never thought I was the type of person to be annoyed by the use of "ain't".

    I think the argument isn't that confidence adds sexiness, because it doesn't.
    The argument is more that the lack of confidence can detract from attractiveness.
  • keithmustloseweight
    keithmustloseweight Posts: 309 Member
    That was so hard to read.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being isn'ld be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Being nice isn't a requirement, when a girl likes you, most of the time being a jerk doesn't change her mind...
    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:
  • coal_chamber
    coal_chamber Posts: 45
    Sorry. I ain't feelin' it.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member


    I think the argument isn't that confidence adds sexiness, because it doesn't.
    The argument is more that the lack of confidence can detract from attractiveness.

    Overconfidence or arrogance can detract from attractiveness also.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:


    YES
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:
    [/quote]

    I'm just saying male or female, confident or not, if I don't like you, being nice doesn't matter...
  • originalcookiemonster
    originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being isn'ld be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Being nice isn't a requirement, when a girl likes you, most of the time being a jerk doesn't change her mind...
    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:

    All extremely good points. I agree it does happen to both guys and girls, I just find that sometimes the argument shifts and I suppose that irritates me. I agree, being "nice" should be a requirement as a human being and Taunto, I think you're right.

    I also agree that whether you're a man or a woman, if attraction isn't there, confidence makes no difference. It won't be the determining factor.

    Interesting thoughts. :D
  • originalcookiemonster
    originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
    Sorry. I ain't feelin' it.

    I could DEFINITELY feel some of that. How YOU doin? :wink:
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member

    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:


    YES
    I'm with you. If someone is rude or disrespectful to me, I don't care how attracted to them I Was, I'm now disgusted and uninterested.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Hear hear! Two people on this forum who talk a lot of sense.

    OP: You know what, it's true. It's a fact of life. I work in a cafe and there's a customer the girls I work with call Superman because apparently he's the hottest guy in the world. No idea what he's like outside of the coffee shop, but he's still Superman to them lol.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.

    tumblr_ll3my50BlO1qbzqexo1_500_zps51d8e004.gif
  • fufi04
    fufi04 Posts: 471 Member
    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    This :D
    Sad but true.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
    lol...this is one of those subjects that could be argued for days
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Confidence

    Sense of Humor

    Nice Smile

    Good Cook

    Employed

    No drama

    Can handle being with a King!!!
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    Attraction is also a very basic thing. You find someone attractive or you don't. The good news is that there is a wide-range of what people find attractive. I think where confidence comes in is that someone who is not comfortable with themselves is going to be less attractive than they normally would be. Be the best you - whatever that means for you - and you will be the most attractive person YOU can be.

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