Husband needs to exercise...just a rant.

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2

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  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.

    yep. i would agree.

    Sure it will work in the beginning.He would even go as far as to eat 1200 calories for months to keep making deposits in your love bank.But for how long? What about maintanance? Losing weight and maintaining it for life needs discipline and the right mindset.Its a lifestyle change afterall

    Then you change the guidelines....He still gets "Best Job" rewards.......you structure the other rewards off of maintenance so if he keeps the weight off he keeps getting to deposit. This is a partnership and they are in it for the long haul......together.
  • DeeDiddyGee
    DeeDiddyGee Posts: 601 Member
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    Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    That can become a real pain in the *kitten*!
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
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    That must be pretty annoying. I've tried to get a few fat people to workout and as soon as they start seeing results they think its ok to pig out again. That sex idea is the best bet.

    Well that's exactly what his Mother did...she exercised, ate well, lost 300lbs and then in 6 months threw it all away and was heavier than ever! It's disgusting!
    I'm really thinking that sex rewards is where it's at!
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
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    :( I wish I had more advice for you. I've noticed it too over the past year but I'm certainly not going to say anything to him about it -l- What about getting him to take Mr.Jude out for walks again? He could certainly use the exercise too not only for dog weight but to keep him from being squirrely. Plus I'm sure he'd love the time out with Daddy. I think once he gets going and has some nice results (both from the love bank and just feeling better) he will keep up with it. He'll feel better physically and mentally, especially when he knows he'll be able to you know.. um.. do more.. with more, erm.. energy. *L*

    Plus you could always tell him you don't want to find him face down in the front hall closet.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
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    My boyfriend has the opposite problem. He's a rail, and I have more muscle than him. How can I nicely tell him to start, "Picking things up and putting them down" ? :laugh:
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
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    :( I wish I had more advice for you. I've noticed it too over the past year but I'm certainly not going to say anything to him about it -l- What about getting him to take Mr.Jude out for walks again? He could certainly use the exercise too not only for dog weight but to keep him from being squirrely. Plus I'm sure he'd love the time out with Daddy. I think once he gets going and has some nice results (both from the love bank and just feeling better) he will keep up with it. He'll feel better physically and mentally, especially when he knows he'll be able to you know.. um.. do more.. with more, erm.. energy. *L*

    Plus you could always tell him you don't want to find him face down in the front hall closet.

    Haha!!! Thanks Becka! I'll try that one!

    I'm the one that takes Jude out, he's my protector on my night walks. When he takes him it's only to the path/hydro towers and then let's him run off leash (which I hate).
  • rearglutespread
    rearglutespread Posts: 21
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    That must be pretty annoying. I've tried to get a few fat people to workout and as soon as they start seeing results they think its ok to pig out again. That sex idea is the best bet.

    Well that's exactly what his Mother did...she exercised, ate well, lost 300lbs and then in 6 months threw it all away and was heavier than ever! It's disgusting!
    I'm really thinking that sex rewards is where it's at!

    Now you mention it I could do with losing a few lbs ha.

    That's so bad about his mother, I honestly don't know how people slip back into the bad habits.
  • billyboybalbo
    billyboybalbo Posts: 156
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    shell answer your mail :wink:
  • rearglutespread
    rearglutespread Posts: 21
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    @smexappeal Just tell him he should add some muscle. If he works out already he should probably hit the weights anyway.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,547 Member
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    I'm kind of joking, but not really...

    Get a life insurance policy on him...something really high. Then leave it out on the counter and start frying everything...breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Start leaving brochures around the house for dream homes, cars, etc.

    I'd get my *kitten* in gear with the quickness.
    I agree. Let him know that if he's not that concerned about it, then at the very least ensure that if his demise comes from it, the family is covered. This can be the 2x4 that smacks him in the head to realization.
    But he's only going to do it when he's ready. Don't nag. Don't beg. It doesn't work.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
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    I don't nag or beg, I know that'll get me no where. Plus I'm just not a nag, that's annoying! I'm not so sure anyone would insure him anyhow...
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
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    shell answer your mail :wink:
    I didn't get a message.... :frown:
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,723 Member
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    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    This is how the oak stair rail got sanded and refinished at my house...
  • billyboybalbo
    billyboybalbo Posts: 156
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    shell answer your mail :wink:
    I didn't get a message.... :frown:
    iv resent
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    My boyfriend has the opposite problem. He's a rail, and I have more muscle than him. How can I nicely tell him to start, "Picking things up and putting them down" ? :laugh:

    same reward system as I outlined above. It's universal.
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
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    I have a similar issue. My husband was always the fit ne and we've had a role reversal. He has medical problems that he uses as excuses to not exercise and unfortunately most if not all of them can be healed with losing the pudge around his middle. I feel Ike he is missing out on the best life he can have by not making the commitment.

    I have just stopped asking him to do it with me. I love im very much and will always love him and I hope that eventually he will come around so that we can do all the things in our older age that we planned to do.

    I have told I'm that all the guys at the gym I lift with often ask how come the only ever see me and my kids knowing I am married because of the ring on my finger :)
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    My girlfriend at the time (now wife) knew I was having issues with my weight (we were friends before we started dating) and that I wanted to go out with her (she had repeatedly turned down my advances for like 6 months). She offered to go out with me on the condition that I gave an honest run at weight loss over the subsequent 3 months.

    I lost 78 lbs (and hooked up on the first date, cause to hell with all that work for nothing)
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Is this what marriage is these days? Tricking each other into doing things?

    Don't treat your husband like a child with the constant nagging or using sex as a carrot on a stick. He's a grown man. He can handle (and, frankly, he deserves) a grown-up conversation. Sit him down, look him in the eye, and say "I love you. I want better for you. It would make me really happy if you would start working out with me." And leave it at that. It has to be his decision, or it will never happen. Men don't like being told what to do. They're like people that way.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Is this what marriage is these days? Tricking each other into doing things?

    Don't treat your husband like a child with the constant nagging or using sex as a carrot on a stick. He's a grown man. He can handle (and, frankly, he deserves) a grown-up conversation. Sit him down, look him in the eye, and say "I love you. I want better for you. It would make me really happy if you would start working out with me." And leave it at that. It has to be his decision, or it will never happen. Men don't like being told what to do. They're like people that way.

    My wife has to trick me into taking the trash out on a regular basis...but that's cause I'm lazy.
  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
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    I don't nag or beg, I know that'll get me no where. Plus I'm just not a nag, that's annoying! I'm not so sure anyone would insure him anyhow...

    Well that's good. And it would appear that you are going to stay away from the making him jealous ideas. You are married and remember it is "for better or worse."

    In the end it will be up to your husband to make changes. You said you already don't fill the house with junk food. Are you the one who makes the meals? If so, how about slight changes to what you make that would appear to be the same but more healthy ingredients? Do you actually serve the food on a plate? If so, how about a little bit less and if your husband claims he is still hungry, then add some more?

    There are subtle things you can try before the extreme issues of making your husband think you are only going to the gym for hot guys who are hitting on you or making him think you want him to die from his eating habits so you can cash out on some insurance money!

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