Overweight kids- Who's to blame

Mutant13
Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.

It was causing ALOT of debate.

Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.

What does the rest of MFP think?
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Replies

  • kristy6ward
    kristy6ward Posts: 332 Member
    I agree with you.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.

    It was causing ALOT of debate.

    Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.

    What does the rest of MFP think?

    You want the truth? I think it's all YOUR fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Makes sense to me. I try not to give my kids a lot of junk. I do find that I reward them sometimes with food, but it's not a daily occurrence. I guess it makes it a better reward to them if they aren't getting the junky stuff too often.
  • paige_eloise
    paige_eloise Posts: 170 Member
    I agree. In terms of young children, if there is no medical condition, then it is the parents fault.
    And this is coming from a girl whose entire family is overweight, there has to be a link somewhere?
    At the end of the day, parents need to teach their children to eat healthily and exercise.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.

    It was causing ALOT of debate.

    Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.

    What does the rest of MFP think?

    You want the truth? I think it's all YOUR fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    I knew giving candy to strangers kids was going to catch up with me somehow :/
  • kayx199189
    kayx199189 Posts: 42 Member
    I believe it really is the parents fault, Especially If the child has been overweight their whole life, One of my best friends is very overweight and surprise surprise her parents are also very overweight. From being born we learn from our surroundings and if all you see is unhealthy foods and a unhealthy lifestyle then you'll become conditioned to think that way. This is why even in their adult life they will always struggle with their weight because to become healthy would be trying to retrain their whole way of thinking and thats very hard to do. It's like learning to write with your left hand when your right handed
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I agree. In terms of young children, if there is no medical condition, then it is the parents fault.
    And this is coming from a girl whose entire family is overweight, there has to be a link somewhere?
    At the end of the day, parents need to teach their children to eat healthily and exercise.

    Yeah, I also did mean to say young children. If you have a teenager who goes out and buys take away with their wages I suppose it's hard to do much, that being said they should have been taught to eat properly by then
  • Mac_X
    Mac_X Posts: 110 Member
    I buy the groceries in my house. If the house isn't full of cakes and chips and things, they can't eat it. Problem pretty much solves itself. And TV/video games or not, I've never had a problem getting my son to go out and run through the woods with the neighborhood kids playing games and such. Maybe it's different for some.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.

    So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.

    I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.

    We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.

    I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
  • MattN1972
    MattN1972 Posts: 117
    Being a parent of an 8 and 5 year old, I will say i never realized how hard it would be. It is extremely hard. I know the teasing and bullying i went through as a kid and it will kill me if my kids go through the same.

    My wife and I are trying not to deprive our kids but rather teach them portion control, healthy habits and the importance of staying active. The marketing of big business to kids is rediculous but at the end of the day the parents are responsible for the well being of their children.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.

    It was causing ALOT of debate.

    Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.

    What does the rest of MFP think?

    You want the truth? I think it's all YOUR fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    I knew giving candy to strangers kids was going to catch up with me somehow :/

    And with the number of kids out there, if you're spending all that money on other people's children, you're going to be poor and will end up buying Spam to get your protein. Just sayin'.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    The parents ofcourse. Who else? Once the kids are of age though, then its on them. I was skinny and fit till I came to US and there I was by myself and I got into bad habits. My parents did me well, I just got into poor habits.
  • KentWhiteRabbit
    KentWhiteRabbit Posts: 92 Member
    I believe it really is the parents fault, Especially If the child has been overweight their whole life, One of my best friends is very overweight and surprise surprise her parents are also very overweight. From being born we learn from our surroundings and if all you see is unhealthy foods and a unhealthy lifestyle then you'll become conditioned to think that way. This is why even in their adult life they will always struggle with their weight because to become healthy would be trying to retrain their whole way of thinking and thats very hard to do. It's like learning to write with your left hand when your right handed

    Totally agree, I have been speaking with a young adult on here and they are struggling with changing to a healthy lifestyle while all around them their family are still overweight and eating badly...and they keep encouraging their child to be like them.
  • Sounds to me like you're a pretty great dad dealing with an autistic son. Well done to you for giving your son the guidance and key skill for life. :smile:

    My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.

    So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.

    I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.

    We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.

    I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    partly parents and partly schools/government! :smile:
  • darsh11
    darsh11 Posts: 98
    I certainly think the parents are to blame. We have stopped encouraging our kids to play outside, we have stopped encouraging our kids to be active and participate in a sport, or dance, or any other physical activity. We have stopped preparing food and teaching our kids what is healthy and what is junk. I saw it happening in my own kids and decided that I had to walk to walk to enforce good habits. If they see me being incactive, overweight, and eating crap they will think it is ok to be that way. I am very passionate about this topic because I have met children that don't know what really fruit and vegetables look like because they have never seen them.
  • parents are to blame. The little kid doesn't buy the food, the little kid doesn't cook it, and most of the time doesn't choose it.
    I was watching the show "super nanny", one of the women complained her obese diabetic son was sneaking junk food from the cupboards and eating sweets(candy), crisps(chips), cookies, chocolates etc. and she had no idea what to do to stop him eating it.
    sorry but if your son is obese and diabetic, ****ING STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD FOR HIM. are parents really this stupid these days they have to get a proffesional TV nanny to help them? just save your money and stop buying it.
  • EmmaJackson130
    EmmaJackson130 Posts: 88 Member
    I completely agree, as a parent it is my job to teach my child about healthy eating and to make sure that she does it until she is old enough to have that responsibility for herself.

    I am overweight because my mum equated love with cooking, she showed her love through making nice stuff and I was always taught to clear my plate. Now I am having to undo this teaching and although I now will stop eating when I'm full I still find it difficult not to clear my plate.

    I have made a conscious effort with my daughter not to do this. If she says she is full then I say ok and she puts her plate by the kitchen sink. She is a fussy eater and sometimes most of her meal will go back but she knows that after dinner all she is allowed before bed is a glass of milk and a piece of fruit if she didn't eat her meal. She isn't over weight and she doesn't binge eat so I hope I am getting it right!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    partly parents and partly schools/government! :smile:

    Nope. Theres no partly. Its fully parents. If your school doesn't provide healthy foods and keeps pushing high calories junk foods then talk to them. Many communities are now doing it and for almost the same cost. The fact that NO parent screamed at the schools when they passed out pizza as a serving of veggies shows that parents are the one neglecting.
  • grabenson7
    grabenson7 Posts: 88
    Both
  • Oh and I blame the parents completely. I buy the food and I cook it for my kids... Good food e.g veg IS cheeper than fast processed foods. Its lazy not to cook and teach the skills to your children.
    For the record, I work full time and have two kids so the "don't have the time to cook" parents don't wash with me.

    Rant over :laugh:
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Parents. Rare medical conditions aside, Parents. Like breaking the cycle of poverty, when those children grow up they are like many of us that are on MFP, breaking the cycle of poor eating and activity levels that impede our healthy and we are here to break that cycle in our own life.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    parents are to blame. The little kid doesn't buy the food, the little kid doesn't cook it, and most of the time doesn't choose it.
    I was watching the show "super nanny", one of the women complained her obese diabetic son was sneaking junk food from the cupboards and eating sweets(candy), crisps(chips), cookies, chocolates etc. and she had no idea what to do to stop him eating it.
    sorry but if your son is obese and diabetic, ****ING STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD FOR HIM. are parents really this stupid these days they have to get a proffesional TV nanny to help them? just save your money and stop buying it.

    The parents blame the corporations and TV and society.

    Heres the problems. Nobody wants to own up. Nobody says "man, I messed up. Let me try to get the best out of this messed up situation and work towards a solution". Nope. That would require work and a dent in your inflated ego. So instead, we have parents blaming everybody, INCLUDING their kids for bad habits. YOU brought this to them... the least you could do is try and repair the damage
  • SDHudgins1976
    SDHudgins1976 Posts: 140
    I'd say most of it is on parents, some of it is on the schools requirements.
    I have two kids, one overweight, one not, and am a teacher.
    What my kids do when they are at home, what they eat at home that is all on me... they both do exercises every day at home, and I'm working on making us an exercise room where we can do some more fun activities like Zumba. I do the majority of our cooking (we MIGHT eat out once a month, and often it's pizza that we pick up and bring home) that incorporates lean meats, beans, and veggies (lots of frozen veggies because where I live fresh are expensive or hard to find that are nice looking) We do have popcorn on hand, and fresh and canned fruit for snacks (which we don't eat often). We don't sit and log hours in front of the tv... a 20 minute episode of pokemon (with no commercials) a day, sometimes a 45 minute show... and they are in bed between 8:30 and 9:00 most days. (10 on weekends and summers) We talk about nutrition, they help me cook dinners. These things are all on ME and my husband.
    BUT when they spend 6 hours a day at school, and are confined to a desk for the MAJORITY of that time (15 minute recess a day is NOT enough for middle school) that comes down on the school. I've suggested a couple times we lengthen our day just for the sake of giving them a recess every day. Not every kid will take advantage of that time, but watching the kids at the recess they DO have MOST of them are up running around playing, or even walking around the track. They LIKE to be active, they just aren't given the outlet.

    People who claim they don't have time to cook... You have time to do whatever you choose. I know there are days I really don't have time to cook, so on days where I do I cook extra, and freeze it. Tonight we're having sloppy joes, (made with lean ground beef, packed with extra veggies) because I knew I wouldn't have time to cook... I made a large batch on a Monday night a couple weeks ago and let it simmer in the crock pot over night. I now have a night every week that involves just pushing some buttons on the microwave to reheat it. I made a coleslaw with a light home made dressing two nights ago to go with dinner, and made a huge batch so we could have some to go with the sloppy joes... It's all about choices.... Sorry soap box.. I almost tripped over it.
  • jdhoward_101
    jdhoward_101 Posts: 234 Member
    As a teenager i hit a size 16. My problem was that i had no knowldege of nutrition. I would get home from school and happily sit infront of the tv and eat a couple of chocolate bars and a packet of crisps waiting for my parents to come home. My parents ensured i had three, home cooked meals a day, (notice i said home cooked, not healthy; it may have been healthy, but our portion sizes were huge). Even when i hit size 16 and decided i wanted to lose weight, i'd go to the gym and then eat a chocolate bar on my way home and couldn't understand why i wasn't losing weight. I wouldn't say it was my parents fault, but they didn't teach me the value of nutrition, healthy eating, the impact of calories and fat on a diet, etc. School didn't teach me either.

    It's not just up to parents to feed their kids healthy food, but also to TEACH them the value of a healthy diet, in my opinion.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Both

    Parents and kids?
  • determined_erin
    determined_erin Posts: 571 Member
    I think it's a little of everyone including teachers, parents, and myself.

    I was skinny until my teacher in elementary school had a snack break every day. After a year of daily snack breaks, I gained a little weight. It didn't stop there. At home, my mom cooks very delicious homemade meals filled with unhealthy ingredients. I gained more weight. I was overweight in middle school. In high school, I learned that I could control my food, so I would eat many sweets and enjoy it. I gained more weight and became obese. In college, I didn't know how to eat healthy and always made bad choices. I gained 40 lbs more in college. I was at 221 lbs and lost all confidence in myself.

    Now I am out of college, age 22, and realizing what happened. So, I have been making changes and losing weight. Right now, I'm at 173 lbs and working on losing more. I am living on my own and not having the influence of school snack breaks, my mom's delicious food, and college cafeteria food.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    It's KINDA the parents fault. Sort of - I can see how it's easy to blame the parents and why people are quick to blame them.

    However, we live in a society where food is shoved at us at every opportunity, kids can't watch tv or even take a walk without being bombarded with images of food.

    Then the parents (and everyone else) are given the not subtle message that buying and giving equals love.

    So the kids demand it and some parents give in to it.

    Pester power and guilt - the fattest combo available.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Oh and I blame the parents completely. I buy the food and I cook it for my kids... Good food e.g veg IS cheeper than fast processed foods. Its lazy not to cook and teach the skills to your children.
    For the record, I work full time and have two kids so the "don't have the time to cook" parents don't wash with me.

    Rant over :laugh:

    Oh I agree with this. Many people in the FB debate were saying it was to expensive to eat healthy.

    Healthy foods are not expensive. Some 'Health' foods are expensive. Seasonal veggies, beans, eggs, rice, cheaper cuts of chicken and beef, tuna, milk are not. If broccoli isn't on sale one week, buy spinach. It isn't hard.

    Not to mention these are almost always the same people who find room in their budget for chips and coke
  • StripedSmoker
    StripedSmoker Posts: 104 Member