Single at 33..why?

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  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
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    In my experience, men and women who are single later in life generally suffer from the same problem. They aim ENTIRELY too high when looking for a partner and then get bummed when they either get played or blown off. Realistic expectations are key in finding a good match.

    Even though I know guys who do this, it seems that women do this much more often and to a larger extreme than men. Some of this might be due to "princess syndrome" and always being told that they deserve the best.

    Also, a lot of men have MAJOR intimacy issues, which makes commitment and forming a bond with a partner near impossible. Definitely not a good thing.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I think the problem is, when we want love, we look for it, when we are content without it, it usually falls on our laps.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Stand outside of divorce court, about 50% of the men that got married will eventually go there, an a lot of them will probably in the age range you are interested in.
  • KristyHumphrey
    KristyHumphrey Posts: 248 Member
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    Enjoy it ladies! Grass is always greener! LOL - I barely have ANY moments to myself!!!!!!!!!
  • TheWiseCat
    TheWiseCat Posts: 297
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    Who needs a wife when I have lots of food to eat instead?
  • muffle1969
    muffle1969 Posts: 96 Member
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    Don't rush! I married at 28 to the wrong guy because I thought I was supposed to...it was the next logical step after dating two years, right? Well, no...he really wasn't right for me, and we divorced a few years later.

    I met Mr. Right when I was 39, and married him at 40. I have an awesome StepKid. I'm 43 now, and blissfully happy. Just because MOST people do things the traditional way does not mean it works for everyone. Consider that the divorce rate is 50%.

    You do what is right for YOU.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
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    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

    You and me both chicka. I never thought I would be single at 33 as well. I am just going to go with the "good things come to those who wait" kine of thinking.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    im 26...starring down the barrel of 27 and never married, engaged or kids....ohh well

    this describes my husband when I met him and started dating.I was 18. we married that summer (27/19)- been married almost 22 yrs.

    it can still happen if you want .
  • atb0821
    atb0821 Posts: 458 Member
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    There's plenty of good ones out there. You might just have to wait for their first divorce to finalize :-)
  • missmarjushka
    missmarjushka Posts: 29 Member
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    I felt I am the last one in the world who has never been married and have no kids. I am 28. I kind of "give up" and focus on changing myself to better.
  • dfonte
    dfonte Posts: 263 Member
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    I'm 30, and I'm just not motivated to go out and meet people / date. I don't have expectations that hold me back, just a lack of motivation.

    You should have standards though. If you have ever cheated on anyone, I will not date you. If your religion is something that would be more important than your family, we probably wouldn't work out. If I ever get married, I would want the 'immediate..and extended if you like them' family to be our priority. I'm all about people believing in things that make them better people, not trying to dismiss anyones' faith, just my viewpoint.
  • GracefulDancer4Christ
    GracefulDancer4Christ Posts: 419 Member
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    I am almost 38 years old single mom of 1 child. at church in my sunday school class I am the only one who is single with a bunch of married folks so I don't feel at times I fit in with them. it is tough but I want God's best for me not 2nd rate like I settled for last time.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Well, I have no personal experience in this department because I've never been married and don't have kids either, but I think it's a really bad idea to get married because you're a certain age or because your parents/grandparents/siblings/friends won't quit bugging you about it. You're not married because you haven't met the right person yet. That's it.

    Don't be defeatist with this "all the good men are taken" stuff. And don't talk like it's not possible for you to be happy as a single woman. Being single wouldn't be my first choice, but you know what? I can do single. I like myself. And I respect myself too much to marry someone I don't love and who doesn't really love me, just to satisfy the expectations of other people. That has to be way lonelier than being single.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
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    I'm 40, never been married and no kids and I live in LA where dating really sucks. But then I remember that the guy I could have married turned out to be a drug addict and I'm definitely much better off. Don't assume something is wrong with you. So much of relationships is just being in the right place at the right time. I keep hoping I'll meet my future husband soon, but other than getting out of the house and going to events where I can meet people, making myself available and looking good, there is nothing else I can really do to make it happen. So I focus on what I do control which is me, my attitude, how i react to setbacks and disappointment, what I do with my life, how I live it and how I make myself happy. Life is too short to wait for someone else to come along and make it better when I can just do it for myself.
  • haiitsstef
    haiitsstef Posts: 12
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    I'm 22 and getting a divorce. Being married sucks. I am looking forward to regaining my freedom! Being married isn't all it's cracked up to be.
  • piggiez
    piggiez Posts: 8
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    haha~~ 26 single, never engaged, never married and no kids. I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe that's because I love myself too much; selfish in a sense :D .
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
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    you re depressed and unhappy being single and obviously not coping....

    As a man i d see that and avoid like the plague not wishing to be soley responsible for your happiness if you cant even be bothered to make the effort to enjoy single life for yourself. Its called bagage and until its gone you ll only attract no hopers with similar problems and able to accept anything !

    As for accepting anything in you re 40 s what rubbish... hold out for the best as i did !
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    You know why you avoid people who are 33 yrs old? Because if you add another 3 and multiply it by 2 you get 666. Yeah.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
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    Have you tried the craiglist personals section?
  • norcal_yogi
    norcal_yogi Posts: 675 Member
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    33 is not old.... don't be in any rush and don't compare your life/self to others. some days i'd LOVE to be single! ;-)

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