Single at 33..why?

fitforlife34

Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

NuttyCake

I have no suggestions because I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29, single, never been married, no kids. Strangely it isn't my mom that's worried about it. It's my grandfather. He was brought up very old school, very traditional. I'm a female so I should be married, in the kitchen, cooking, taking care of my however many children. And because I haven't found someone yet, something must be wrong with me. The only thing I can say that is "wrong with me," is that I find it very hard to get close to people. And...it probably doesn't help that I don't want kids... :-/

I do have those moments though where I think, "What is SO wrong with me?" So, I understand that. Maybe you could do speed dating? I've never done it, but I've definitely thought about it. That may sound ridiculous, but it may be worth a try.

ILoveTheBrowns

im 26...starring down the barrel of 27 and never married, engaged or kids....ohh well

lambertj

Hang in there. I didn't meet the love of my life until I was 44 and he was so worth the wait. I, too, dated musicians and crappy guys until one day I decided I needed to figure out why i kept going after the unavailable men. Just about the time I figured it out, I met my husband.

corn63

I'm 28. No kids, not married... not engaged.


But loving it:) Life is an adventure, embrace it!

JennaM222

EMBRACE IT!!!!!!!!!

sujenwujen

Single at 41. I'll be 42 in less than a month. What are you complaining about?? I did my best dating between 30 & 35. Go out & have fun!

iAMsmiling

What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

Homeless...


(Seems like a gratuitous joke, but there is a lesson in there too.)

Skinny_Jeans_Soon

I'm in the process of divorce and you have me discouraged. Are there really no good ones left, darn!

BOLO4Hagtha

Almost 24 and never dated in my life...yupp...I don't think I'm unfortunate looking but every time I go out with my friends and guys approach us, I always get treated as "one of the guys." Conversation is easy but I end up being the friend, never the girlfriend.

iLoveMyPitbull1225

advice that is practical?

stop looking and enjoy your life

dont focus on age and numbers and types. It all means little to nothing.

rachelrb85

My cousin is in his early 30s, a musician, and a nice guy. Too bad you're all the way in the west coast

AwesomeMoJo

Woman.. I am 37 and single..never married and no kids. Some of us are just smart enough to wait for the right person to come along than to just settle. That is all..you are in that category with me.

A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and then they are stuck and unhappy....feel blessed you are not one of them.

I date...I have fun...and at some point one of those men is going to be the right guy for me. Until then, I enjoy my life. I have great friends..a WONDERFUL family..and I don't worry too much about it.

I know I have a lot to give the right man. He has to aceept me and my eccentricities..as I will accept him...I just haven't found the right guy to run in the wild. Most men want to try and tame the animal....

Just keep being awesome and it will happen.....

MaryRegs

relax guys...didn't get married til almost 32, started family at 35....totally didn't think it was going to happen, and I met my husband at a part-time job I took for extra money. fate

montana_girl

I didn't meet my husband until I was 36.

Meet him the same weekend I decided that I wasn't going to date anymore because there were no good men left.... :laugh:

ksavy

I just turned 27 a couple weeks ago, and then was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding this past weekend. It was both her and the grooms second wedding and she is just a couple months younger than me and he is 29. Seeing them both going for their second try when I have not managed to make it that far even once does make me question myself at times, but then I try to remember the good things about remaining single. Plus I am kinda picky about men and really do not want to settle for something less than I want just because I feel left behind.

chuckyp

There can be any number of reasons, but don't sweat it ladies. I didn't get married until I was nearly 37 and had 2 kids after I turned 40. My wife is 5 years younger. I had no trouble dating, and I dated a fair amount, but none of them materialized into marriage material. Earlier in life I was focused on education and career, and same with my wife. It's a first marriage and first kids for both of us. I would have rather remained single than rush into marriage just for the sake of being married. Keep the feelers out, you'll find the right one for you.

Lisseth03

I'm 28. No kids, not married... not engaged.


But loving it:) Life is an adventure, embrace it!

this

persephone87

I'm the same but I'm 25 everyone on my facebook has a family and a husband and a career, or at least one of those 3 and I have none. I have no idea what to do with my life, I've had my heart broken AGAIN and I have no chance of a family so it's not just you. Look at it this way it could be worse you could be me and to top it I only have 1 friend who is emigrating... keep your chin up I live in the hope that everything will work out, it has to. As for all the good men being taken have you thought about going different places, getting a hobby meeting new people? Even try online dating, it didnt work for me but i know a few people it did work very well for.

Take care x

tnjackso1

Hi, I'm single at 36 and I do understand how you feel.. I believe all women/men have those times where they wonder what's wrong with them. I believe that everything happens in God's season and anything out of his season and will is trouble. The word says that a man that finds a wife finds a good thing, so get into the ministry, stop looking, and start working!! When you least expect it or even thinking about it your soul mate will be right beside you.

You are not alone on how you feel or what you are going through, but its during those times that we must shake depression and frustration off and get about God's business. Seek God first and He shall supply all of your desires in His time.

Stay encouraged!

bcattoes

I understand the frustration if you want children and your clock is ticking. But my experience is that it's much easier to find a good man when you don't think you need one to have a complete and happy life.

lizchristine

I met my now hubby at 29 and I'm 33 now. I'm so glad I waited. He's awesome and we're a good team! My advice would be to focus less on finding the right man and more on becoming the person you want to be. When I met my husband, I wasn't focused on dating at all -- I was taking improv acting classes, hanging with my friends, having fun, etc. I think if you are feeling passionate about your life, all that natural enthusiam will eventually attract the right guy. Hang in there -- it will all work out!

sunshine_gem

Why are you worried about it? Because you think you should be married with kids or because you actually want to be? I get where you're coming from on the 'is there something wrong with me', but you've got to stop thinking that. You said it yourself, you know you're a good person so there's nothing wrong with you. Can I ask though, do you actively try to date? Do you go out with friends, socialise? When you're out do you present yourself with confidence? Basically do you put yourself in situations where you could meet a guy? If not then that could be the problem. And yes, there are a lot of good men already taken but I can guarantee that there will be just as many that aren't. You might just have to look a bit harder.

MinnieInMaine

Don't be too discouraged ladies! One of my best friends met her SO around age 33 and it sure looks like they're in it for the long haul! OP, at least you've weeded out what group of men you shouldn't go after...now you can try to open your horizons and start check out other guys. I'm assuming you're at least a bit extroverted so use that to your advantage and strike up conversations with that cute guy in the gym or produce department. The intention doesn't have to be dating either, not at first. At least make friends and who knows, maybe one of them or one of their friends will turn out to be the love of your life.

_Bob_

EMBRACE IT!!!!!!!!!

agreed, stop looking and go out and have fun. do the things that you like to do and you'll end up meeting someone there eventually after you let go.

HRCephei

The grass is always greener on the other side..

Molly_Maguire

...Maybe you're really bad in bed?

I kid, I kid! :laugh: Don't take it too hard, just remember there is no "magic age" at which everybody should be married, or else there is something wrong with you. Maybe a hundred years ago, but not anymore. He will come around when the time is right, and not a minute before, so try to enjoy being single for now. I know no single person likes hearing that, but there's no use being unhappy about what you can't change just yet, so try to enjoy the advantages of being single while you can.

And if you want some advice, try dating out of a different "scene". You say the musician types haven't been working out for you lately, so why not try for someone you normally wouldn't go for? A surfer, painter, lawyer?

And don't ever try to tell yourself that all the good guys are taken. That's the easiest way to let yourself give up, besides being totally untrue!

Love yourself first, and the world (and that one special guy) will follow. :flowerforyou:

chuckyp

I just turned 27 a couple weeks ago, and then was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding this past weekend. It was both her and the grooms second wedding and she is just a couple months younger than me and he is 29. Seeing them both going for their second try when I have not managed to make it that far even once does make me question myself at times, but then I try to remember the good things about remaining single. Plus I am kinda picky about men and really do not want to settle for something less than I want just because I feel left behind.

No, you're doing it right. This is one area where your goal should not be having the most. 2 marriages just means that they failed once. Take your time and find the one that lasts.

Eddie274

I'm single, 38 and have never had a real relationship, and it sucks so bad I can't begin to explain it. You're not alone, but if I had the answer then I'd not be single myself. Hope you find someone special and he/she makes you happy.

Skinny_minny_mo

I'm 29, single too!

and although i'm not unhappy i do wonder...sigh.

got to keep our chins up girls!

:drinker:

cdngirl71

I am 40 and single. I am still waiting for the right guy to come along. I do date but none turn into a relationship. It will happen but right now I am enjoying what I am dealt with. Just have fun and you will find someone.