Single at 33..why?
Replies
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I have several single friends both male and female, and these are some of the things they do wrong.
They hunt, in all the wrong places. and age range. 1 guy refuses to date anyone older than 32 because he wants kids.
He's 48. sorry dude, probably not gonna happen. (he has 2 requirements, slender and under 32, not so bad if he wasn't 48)
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I'm 44 with 2 kids, single since divorcing 8 yrs ago. I think I'm a good catch, good lookingm financially stable, own job, seen a bit of the world, can hold intelligent conversation...but no..clearly not good enough. I don't want a toyboy or an old man, but it seems all the good guys in their 40's are like the one above, they are now looking for women much younger than them to propagate their seeds (if they have any left!).
Maybe you should be looking for a guy in his 40's cos it seems they are looking for you lol0 -
I'm almost 28 and single for the first time in my life. It's such a beautiful feeling to not be tied down, to not have to answer to someone, or to feel like I have to ask permission to go out and enjoy my life. I'm old enough to have witnessed my peers marry, have kids, and are now being divorced and are unhappy single parents. I look back now and regret the time I wasted in relationships that weren't meant to be in the long run. I'm SO GLAD I never married.
There is nothing wrong with you, girl! Get out there! Meet new people, travel, spend time improving yourself and your life. Mold yourself into the exact person you want to be while you have the time to do it. Take some classes, change careers.
Worth and value are not in the men you settle down with, they're in yourself. Once you find these things in yourself, someone will be be able to find them in you. And if they don't...then be glad you never settled. I'd rather lead a happy life on my own than with anyone besides my soul mate.0 -
At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
Wow...0 -
I have several single friends both male and female, and these are some of the things they do wrong.
They hunt, in all the wrong places. and age range. 1 guy refuses to date anyone older than 32 because he wants kids.
He's 48. sorry dude, probably not gonna happen. (he has 2 requirements, slender and under 32, not so bad if he wasn't 48)
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but it seems all the good guys in their 40's are like the one above, they are now looking for women much younger than them to propagate their seeds (if they have any left!).
I don't think this is always the case... my husband is exactly the same age as me. If this were true, he'd have been looking for a 25 year old. He WANTED a 35 yr old to marry. I think there's a lot to be said about marrying someone close to your own age... and I'm saying this AFTER having dated a man 20+ years my senior... I've been there and done that. I am MUCH happier with my same age husband... we are at the same place in life experience... and it's nice.0 -
I quit looking at 33. At 34, I tripped, fell and stumbled head first into a big pile of love. at 35 we are living together, and talking about getting a puppy. He also uses MFP.0
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Not all the good ones taken, there are single good people out there. Problem is, good ones kinda like to pick from the good ones pool, so if you're not one of the good ones you end up either single or with a bad one.
I'm 37, single.
Unemployed, no available money, lives with his mom (and the rest of the siblings). The trifecta.
I'm also educated, funny, and fit or working on it.
Am I good or bad ?0 -
I quit looking at 33. At 34, I tripped, fell and stumbled head first into a big pile of love. at 35 we are living together, and talking about getting a puppy. He also uses MFP.
Amazingly similar to my own experience
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At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
That's hilarious. Are you Mormon or something?
ETA: At 25 I was on my second degree, starting my Masters and saving for my first home.
Nope, not Mormon. Single life gets pretty ungratifying by the time your 26th birthday rolls around, and I think being in a stable relationship by then is a good idea. I do believe the best singles are off the market by then. They may not be married, but they are firmly ensconced in relationships by then.
It is possible to find a good relationship after that point, but the degree of difficulty is increased.
My life is anything but ungratifying, except that I live in the Arctic, but there's things I love about that too. I did my best to try not to be offended by your post, but you are way off. Our self-worth does not come from another person. Everyone who gets married should be healthy and happy while they are single FIRST; that rarely happens in our twenties.
Perhaps it's taken me longer to get healthy and happy (still working on it) and I may or may not ever have a partner, but so what? I can do whatever I want, when I want. There's so much domestic abuse and jealousy in my community that I feel BLESSED beyond belief to have matured enough to choose not to be part of it. Raising my child in a healthy home beats rushing into a crappy relationship just because I am getting old and less desirable... (I think I'm getting MORE desirable - to ME, and that's all that matters!)
No one should NEED anyone and we should be happy and self-reliant on our own first, then we will likely be ready to meet another happy, self-reliant individual and be better equipped to be a strong team without all the immature BS that occurs in so many "marriages".0 -
At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
That's hilarious. Are you Mormon or something?
ETA: At 25 I was on my second degree, starting my Masters and saving for my first home.
Nope, not Mormon. Single life gets pretty ungratifying by the time your 26th birthday rolls around, and I think being in a stable relationship by then is a good idea. I do believe the best singles are off the market by then. They may not be married, but they are firmly ensconced in relationships by then.
It is possible to find a good relationship after that point, but the degree of difficulty is increased.
So, because I'm 39 and still on the market it would be safe to assume I'm not one of "the best singles" huh?
That could really be hurtful to someone with less self confidence than myself.
Close your mouth and open your mind.0 -
theres nothing wrong with been single and unmarried at 33.... less **** that way enjoy your singledom whilst you can0
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I'm 26 and semi-single by choice. I feel like if I don't get out there I'll be missing out, but I'm not so sure. I think all things come in time, and because it hasn't happened for me yet, it must not be my time. So I'm just going to go out and live my life and do what interests me and what I like to do. Chances are, I'd be much better off with someone that I meet while pursuing my interests than just taking the person who knocks on my door and shows me attention. It's not you, it's life. It has stages. So, I just have decided to let it roll. And I choose to think that it will work out for me. Meanwhile, I'll just be myself.0
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Don't worry love. I was single at 33, which was 11years ago. At 35 I was about to give up the I went to a club, met my future husband. We married the following year and here we are 9 years later with a 7 year old wonder kid. You have your ups and down, which is normal, but we are here and getting on and enjoying life. You will too, just relax, look after yourself and let nature take it's course.0
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Don't worry love. I was single at 33, which was 11years ago. At 35 I was about to give up the I went to a club, met my future husband. We married the following year and here we are 9 years later with a 7 year old wonder kid. You have your ups and down, which is normal, but we are here and getting on and enjoying life. You will too, just relax, look after yourself and let nature take it's course. And he's 7 years younger than me.
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At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
That's hilarious. Are you Mormon or something?
ETA: At 25 I was on my second degree, starting my Masters and saving for my first home.
Nope, not Mormon. Single life gets pretty ungratifying by the time your 26th birthday rolls around, and I think being in a stable relationship by then is a good idea. I do believe the best singles are off the market by then. They may not be married, but they are firmly ensconced in relationships by then.
It is possible to find a good relationship after that point, but the degree of difficulty is increased.
The best singles are off the market??... Sure, maybe in some one-horse town in Idaho or something. This notion is exactly why people feel pressured into marrying too young and get divorced in their 30s and 40s.
Most people start dating around 16. So when you turn 26, you've seen the singles market for 10 years. 10 years is a long enough time to figure out what you like, what you dislike, and so forth. You've been on the awkward dates, done the singles mixers, the bar scene, had some relationships, etc.
It's a fine line. Let's say a person is 30 years old, they've been in a relationship for 2-3 years but no marriage has been proposed. People around the couple wonder if they are truly suited for each other. Meanwhile, others in the social circle of the 30 year old are pairing off, having kids, etc. Do you roll the dice with someone who you've been with for a few years or do you cut them loose to find the person who you'll be extremely passionate about? Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee? Despite what I said earlier, I actually think so. If you are going to marry, do it right the first time.
There should not be pressure to marry, but if you're going to get married, it should be for life.0 -
I have several single friends both male and female, and these are some of the things they do wrong.
They hunt, in all the wrong places. and age range. 1 guy refuses to date anyone older than 32 because he wants kids.
He's 48. sorry dude, probably not gonna happen. (he has 2 requirements, slender and under 32, not so bad if he wasn't 48)
.
I'm 44 with 2 kids, single since divorcing 8 yrs ago. I think I'm a good catch, good lookingm financially stable, own job, seen a bit of the world, can hold intelligent conversation...but no..clearly not good enough. I don't want a toyboy or an old man, but it seems all the good guys in their 40's are like the one above, they are now looking for women much younger than them to propagate their seeds (if they have any left!).
Maybe you should be looking for a guy in his 40's cos it seems they are looking for you lol
No worries, unless you see pigs fly, he'll always be single. He's ridiculous. He won't date women with kids, either.
People keep saying "don't settle!" What if what they want is unrealistic? What if the reason the person is single is because they have unrealistic expectation of a partner? So you still say "hold you're ground..don't settle! You deserve it!"
Do you continue lying to them, or continue encouraging them to chase after a dream that doesn't exist?0 -
At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
That's hilarious. Are you Mormon or something?
ETA: At 25 I was on my second degree, starting my Masters and saving for my first home.
Nope, not Mormon. Single life gets pretty ungratifying by the time your 26th birthday rolls around, and I think being in a stable relationship by then is a good idea. I do believe the best singles are off the market by then. They may not be married, but they are firmly ensconced in relationships by then.
It is possible to find a good relationship after that point, but the degree of difficulty is increased.
The best singles are off the market??... Sure, maybe in some one-horse town in Idaho or something. This notion is exactly why people feel pressured into marrying too young and get divorced in their 30s and 40s.
Most people start dating around 16. So when you turn 26, you've seen the singles market for 10 years. 10 years is a long enough time to figure out what you like, what you dislike, and so forth. You've been on the awkward dates, done the singles mixers, the bar scene, had some relationships, etc.
It's a fine line. Let's say a person is 30 years old, they've been in a relationship for 2-3 years but no marriage has been proposed. People around the couple wonder if they are truly suited for each other. Meanwhile, others in the social circle of the 30 year old are pairing off, having kids, etc. Do you roll the dice with someone who you've been with for a few years or do you cut them loose to find the person who you'll be extremely passionate about? Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee? Despite what I said earlier, I actually think so. If you are going to marry, do it right the first time.
There should not be pressure to marry, but if you're going to get married, it should be for life.
'Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee?'..... Well, yes of course it is. In addition you as a person change a lot between the ages of 25 and 30+ so even if someone was right for you at 25 you may find yourselves growing in different directions. It is clearly best to wait until you have met the right person, the one you are meant to be with - not the one who you stuck with because you were freaked out about the possibility of being alone!!!
You are a whole and complete person all by yourself and the fear of being left on the shelf or having to choose from 'not the best singles' is not a good enough reason to commit to someone for life. The poster strikes me as just a little immature.0 -
There should not be pressure to marry, but if you're going to get married, it should be for life.
Really??? Lol. Master of the obvious here... dude, you aren't gaining much popularity with the women on MFP right now.0 -
At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
That's hilarious. Are you Mormon or something?
ETA: At 25 I was on my second degree, starting my Masters and saving for my first home.
Nope, not Mormon. Single life gets pretty ungratifying by the time your 26th birthday rolls around, and I think being in a stable relationship by then is a good idea. I do believe the best singles are off the market by then. They may not be married, but they are firmly ensconced in relationships by then.
It is possible to find a good relationship after that point, but the degree of difficulty is increased.
The best singles are off the market??... Sure, maybe in some one-horse town in Idaho or something. This notion is exactly why people feel pressured into marrying too young and get divorced in their 30s and 40s.
Most people start dating around 16. So when you turn 26, you've seen the singles market for 10 years. 10 years is a long enough time to figure out what you like, what you dislike, and so forth. You've been on the awkward dates, done the singles mixers, the bar scene, had some relationships, etc.
It's a fine line. Let's say a person is 30 years old, they've been in a relationship for 2-3 years but no marriage has been proposed. People around the couple wonder if they are truly suited for each other. Meanwhile, others in the social circle of the 30 year old are pairing off, having kids, etc. Do you roll the dice with someone who you've been with for a few years or do you cut them loose to find the person who you'll be extremely passionate about? Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee? Despite what I said earlier, I actually think so. If you are going to marry, do it right the first time.
There should not be pressure to marry, but if you're going to get married, it should be for life.
Oh, no pressure to marry, but everyone around you will be married and having kids! And if you're with someone for longer than 2-3 years people will start to wonder if you're right for one another! But, no pressure to get married. I've been with the same person for nearly 8 years now, and have no plans to get married or have children. He and I are having far too much fun to worry about it.
I really dislike this idea we keep perpetuating that women should be constantly "preparing" themselves for marriage or to have children. Bullsh!t. OP, start living your life instead of preparing for something to come to you that you think will make you happy.0 -
'Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee?'..... Well, yes of course it is. In addition you as a person change a lot between the ages of 25 and 30+ so even if someone was right for you at 25 you may find yourselves growing in different directions. It is clearly best to wait until you have met the right person, the one you are meant to be with - not the one who you stuck with because you were freaked out about the possibility of being alone!!!
You are a whole and complete person all by yourself and the fear of being left on the shelf or having to choose from 'not the best singles' is not a good enough reason to commit to someone for life. The poster strikes me as just a little immature.
-Eh, I disagree. I got married at 23, got divorced around 25 and don't regret a thing. There were ups and downs, but I have a beautiful daughter. remarried 5 years later, and we're still good at 15.
If you're still single at 33 even though you feel you're working hard at it, you're doing something wrong. You're not wrong with who you are, but how you go about dating. Fact is, the older you get, the fewer the people on the market and the added baggage of life just keeps piling up.0 -
'Is it better to start over at 30 than risk being a 40 year divorcee?'..... Well, yes of course it is. In addition you as a person change a lot between the ages of 25 and 30+ so even if someone was right for you at 25 you may find yourselves growing in different directions. It is clearly best to wait until you have met the right person, the one you are meant to be with - not the one who you stuck with because you were freaked out about the possibility of being alone!!!
You are a whole and complete person all by yourself and the fear of being left on the shelf or having to choose from 'not the best singles' is not a good enough reason to commit to someone for life. The poster strikes me as just a little immature.
-Eh, I disagree. I got married at 23, got divorced around 25 and don't regret a thing. There were ups and downs, but I have a beautiful daughter. remarried 5 years later, and we're still good at 15.
If you're still single at 33 even though you feel you're working hard at it, you're doing something wrong. You're not wrong with who you are, but how you go about dating. Fact is, the older you get, the fewer the people on the market and the added baggage of life just keeps piling up.
'Baggage of life just keeps piling up'....Wow, there's a whole lot of crazy in America it seems!
ETA: I'm not single.0 -
You're single, hooray! You have freedom to do whatever you want! Honestly, relationships bring on a lot of stress and pain. It's not easy making it work. You, on the other hand, can focus you energy wherever you want to. That is a huge blessing! If you look in scripture, it's clear that a single woman should consider herself fortunate to able to be completely devoted to the Lord and not be tied down by family commitments.
Be thankful. And do NOT ever settle. It's better to be single and fabulous than to be in a mediocre relationship.0 -
i am 27, never married, single with two kids!! It is a lot harder when there are kids involved...But i am enjoying the single life and my two little boys. 0
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You're single, hooray! You have freedom to do whatever you want! Honestly, relationships bring on a lot of stress and pain. It's not easy making it work. You, on the other hand, can focus you energy wherever you want to. That is a huge blessing! If you look in scripture, it's clear that a single woman should consider herself fortunate to able to be completely devoted to the Lord and not be tied down by family commitments.
Be thankful. And do NOT ever settle. It's better to be single and fabulous than to be in a mediocre relationship.
Amen sista!!0 -
Trying to hard to find someone makes its harder, chill out people 0
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When the hubby and I were married, I was 32 and he was 33. He is my second husband, but I am his first wife (and only!). Not a darn thing wrong with him, and I know well enough because I have known him since I was 18 (38 now). He just hadn't founf the right one, and neither have you. Don't sweat it sweetie!! Good things come to those who wait
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At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.
Are you serious?!?! WOW. :noway:0 -
Your man or mom? I totally got confused. I thought you were single
It'll happen eventually. You're obviously dating the wrong 'type.' You might have met him already and just don't know it. My hubby and I were friends for over 5 years before we started dating. Since I was barely 15. We dated for another 5 then got married. We have two kids now. Never know until you give it a shot.0 -
I'm single, never married or no kids at 26...
Yes, sometimes I think there is something wrong with me...well alot of things.
But I grew up the young kid and when my sister moved out I was all alone. We lived in the country and I played alot by myself so I really enjoy just being alone and being independent.
Like, what if I meet someone and I want to go out somewhere, like exercise and he doesn't?
I love to go skating. I love to read. I don't watch much tv...I like to exercise.
I don't want anyone to tell me I can't do those things!!
So I often really like that I am still single and can make my own choices!!0 -
im 38 never married. i do have twin (almost) 19yos... dont settle. I chose a hard life to have but i also haven't had to pay for divorce...0
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Like most things in life, what you want will come when you are ready. Knowing if you are ready however, isn't a miraculous realization, rather a state of mind of existing in. If you believe in it, live it and know it you will become it. In other words, become who you want to be instead of waiting to become it. It's the power of attraction. The secret of success. It will come to you, not by wanting, but by being.
I know what I said was repetitive, but hopefully I made my point. There isn't anything wrong with YOU, you are just in a stage of your life that may be different than others and that's ok. Think about the things you have to offer a person, and own them, eventually someone worthwhile will notice.
Besides, would the person you live the rest of your life with be worth waiting for? You already have much experience with relationships, use the knowledge to your advantage.
Don't mean to preach, I worked as a romance consultant for two years and was asked this question often. Seems like what I said helps.0
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