Single at 33..why?

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Replies

  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    I have no plans to be married by 33. So many things I'd like to accomplish before that. Sure, if it happens and I get someone to accomplish those things with, great. If not, well, I don't feel like that means I screwed up in some way.
    It seems to me that you are giving in to peer pressure. You want a man and babies, because that's what your friends have.
    And 33 is extremely young, imo.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Sometimes the Best Loves come into your life Unexpectedly :heart:
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    I LOVE this thread!! so many great responses :)
  • Rizgettinglean
    Rizgettinglean Posts: 2
    Stop focusing on it... If you can...Just may happen when you least expect it
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Woman.. I am 37 and single..never married and no kids. Some of us are just smart enough to wait for the right person to come along than to just settle. That is all..you are in that category with me.

    A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and then they are stuck and unhappy....feel blessed you are not one of them.

    I date...I have fun...and at some point one of those men is going to be the right guy for me. Until then, I enjoy my life. I have great friends..a WONDERFUL family..and I don't worry too much about it.

    I know I have a lot to give the right man. He has to aceept me and my eccentricities..as I will accept him...I just haven't found the right guy to run in the wild. Most men want to try and tame the animal....

    Just keep being awesome and it will happen.....

    This, 1,000 times this. I grew up seeing the toxic relationship my parents had and how it affected them, myself, and my brother. Now my father is remarried to the love of his life with a beautiful 3 year old child. They met in their early/mid 40's. I'm willing to wait if that means I get to have what they have. It will be worth it for me and my future family.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    C'mon people! Roll this ancient and decaying thing so it will fall off my recent topics page.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Nothing in life is guaranteed. You may never meet "that one" it's a possibility. Love is not something life promises. It promises you will die and possibly get older in between.

    I know it's tough when you feel like that you want love in your life, but you cant find it then you settle. It gets even worse in your 30's because now your biological clock is ticking and you may have only 10-15 years left in your reproductive life.

    The only thing you can do is work on enjoying your life now and being grateful. Keep yourself out there in the dating pool, but keep your options wide dont limit yourself. You never know the gem you might find in a pile of trash.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Original post is on 9/17/12. What happens when original poster turns 34? Will someone update the thread title? A moderator?

    I hate inaccurate info.
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    Zombie threads must die! :angry:
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    Zombie threads must die! :angry:
    I mean: "Die again!" :angry:

    You know what I mean
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    zombie.gif
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Nothing is wrong with you. I am single and going to be 28 on the May 8th. Do you feel like you have to have a boyfriend/be married or do you actually want to be married/have a bf? I chose to be alone for a long time & now I am dating but I just keep finding *kitten*. I'm not worried about it though & you shouldn't be either, the right one will come along when you least expect it. :)
    so hows yo doin? :wink:
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    OK, late to the party here, but here's my advice as a late bloomer. I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 27. I got married at 32.

    To the people who try to be nice and say, "Oh, don't worry honey, it will just happen!" - ignore those people.

    For most of us, good things in life don't "just happen". We have to go out and make them happen.

    If you, like I was, are living a life with limited opportunity to meet single, desirable people, guess what? You probably won't meet any!

    In my 20s, I was living with my mother, while working full time. My hobbies were solitary ones - building model kits, building and flying radio-controlled airplanes, and playing on my computer. I worked, went home, and did solitary things. I was terribly lonely and desperately wanted friends and a girlfriend but as I missed the boat socially in high school I had no idea how to do it.

    I tried going to nightclubs but it was a disaster. I was not attractive enough to attract someone at a night club through physical looks and it is too loud to interact with anyone on any other level. I'd just go home poorer and depressed.

    It finally dawned on me that if I was going to change the situation then I was going to have to change the situation!

    Since I was also going to school while working, I joined the scuba club at my school. I met a girl there I fell absolutely in love with but she wasn't interested in me. :) But it was a start to starting to become a social person. Later I found an organization called the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) that does medieval reenacting, and I was hooked. It was a place with fellow nerds and I fit in at once. I dated a few women that I met there and ultimately met my wife there.

    So my advice to people who are having a hard time "meeting someone" is this: Force yourself to get involved in new social activities. It doesn't matter what it is - a book club, scuba club, ski club, stamp collecting club, model building club, weight lifting club, running club, reenacting club, hiking club, church group - whatever.

    The key here is this: You will instantly have a group of acquaintances that you share a common interest with. That's half the battle right there. But also, most of the time when you get involved in these kinds of groups they tend to be very welcoming to new people.

    The key to meeting new people is simply putting yourself into social situations where you must meet new people.

    And if your problem is that you keep meeting the "wrong kind of people", then you need to find a new social situation that has a better class of people. A crack-house would not be a place where you would expect to hook up with a desirable mate, right?

    Steve
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    ...
    The key to meeting new people is simply putting yourself into social situations where you must meet new people.
    ...
    That's pretty good advice there (all of it). Nice job. Then I saw your profile pic. And the chain mail. And I wanted to make fun. I really did. But I can't. Because that's kind of awesome. How heavy is that?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    499... C'mon people! Make this go away for me!
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
    Single at 46...why? Me too!
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
    35 and been single for many years. No interest in dating whatsoever. And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

    Don't get hung up on the expectations of others. There's no rule that says you should be married by xx age. If people are willing to pass judgement on you based on your age and relationship status, its them that has the problem - not you.
  • JonathanBB
    JonathanBB Posts: 252 Member
    I have no suggestions because I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29, single, never been married, no kids. Strangely it isn't my mom that's worried about it. It's my grandfather. He was brought up very old school, very traditional. I'm a female so I should be married, in the kitchen, cooking, taking care of my however many children. And because I haven't found someone yet, something must be wrong with me. The only thing I can say that is "wrong with me," is that I find it very hard to get close to people. And...it probably doesn't help that I don't want kids... :-/

    I do have those moments though where I think, "What is SO wrong with me?" So, I understand that. Maybe you could do speed dating? I've never done it, but I've definitely thought about it. That may sound ridiculous, but it may be worth a try.

    I don't get it either, and you are into Dr. Who! Ever consider an older man? :smile:
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
    35 and been single for many years. No interest in dating whatsoever. And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

    Don't get hung up on the expectations of others. There's no rule that says you should be married by xx age. If people are willing to pass judgement on you based on your age and relationship status, its them that has the problem - not you.

    I agree. I'm not in a rush to make a mistake.

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