Single at 33..why?

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  • hydelaa
    hydelaa Posts: 184
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    My family finally came out and asked me if I was in the closet, a lesbian? Because I wasn't finding the "right" guy to be with..Society sucks. Who cares, you meet someone when you meet someone. I met my guy of 9 months (first boyfriend and I'm 26) on a date site..
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
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    I didn't marry till I was 48. No regrets. Took that long to meet the right guy. And he was someone I knew in high school! Just didn't click then. Lots of people are saying "be you in all your awesomeness," and I echo that. I became the person I truly wanted to be. I had also taken the advice of writing down all the qualities I wanted in a man, and forgot about it. I found the list not long after I got engaged, and yeah, lo and behold! All there.
    Final bit of advice: let someone who you might not think is all that TALK to you. You might find a treasure!
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
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    What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

    Homeless...


    (Seems like a gratuitous joke, but there is a lesson in there too.)

    BBWWHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's the funniest damn thing Ive read all day... LMAO!!


    LOL! So true.
  • jennismagic
    jennismagic Posts: 243 Member
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    The reason you're struggling with being single is that you apparently don't like yourself very much. Seriously, people will get their backs up about this, but it's true. If you can't stand your own company and always seek external validation, how can you expect anyone to enjoy your company? And I'm sorry, but there are plenty of good, available men out there. It just sounds like you're not going for the rights ones.
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
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    im single because i a below average looking male whos looking for an above average looking female....simple as that...ohh and i lack game
  • Capt_Chev
    Capt_Chev Posts: 93 Member
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    Wow there are lot of interesting opinions on this! To offer my own 2 cents:

    I'm turning 30 next month, I've spent the majority of my life single. Now currently I am the only one of my girlfriends that isn't married or in a long term relationship, and I'm absolutely fine with that. Why the rush to get hitched and start the breeding process?

    To the dude that thinks we aren't meant to be single after 26 - that is a seriously scary thought. I'm not the same person I was at 26, my experiences have changed my outlook on life since then.

    I actually enjoy being single, sure there are certain things about relationships that I miss, but all in all, I love being single, childless and independent I have the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want, I don't answer to anyone but myself. I wouldn't want to give that up for anything.

    My advice is make sure that you love yourself before finding someone else to love you!

    Good Luck!!
  • T34418l3angel
    T34418l3angel Posts: 474 Member
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    Confidence is key. In both guys and girls if you are trying to date yet keep finding yourself single it might be because your projecting your insecurities. I know whenI was dating I honestly went after the confident type (which often gets entangled with the douche bag type) if I sensed a guy was insecure, jealous, etc he'd be out because I didn't need the added drama so soon in the relationship, I know alot of guys think this same way. So my suggestion is act like you don't NEED a man, act like you are fine with or without one. Get a hobby, worry about putting you first. When you do guys will notice.
  • jennismagic
    jennismagic Posts: 243 Member
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    Also, threads like these make me extra glad that I've never been interested in marriage or relationships. *kitten* sounds stressful.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    Also, threads like these make me extra glad that I've never been interested in marriage or relationships. *kitten* sounds stressful.

    Don't let stupid people make you afraid of getting into an LTR if you meet the right person ;)
  • brainfreeze72
    brainfreeze72 Posts: 180 Member
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    I just turned 27 a couple weeks ago, and then was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding this past weekend. It was both her and the grooms second wedding and she is just a couple months younger than me and he is 29. Seeing them both going for their second try when I have not managed to make it that far even once does make me question myself at times, but then I try to remember the good things about remaining single. Plus I am kinda picky about men and really do not want to settle for something less than I want just because I feel left behind.

    An excellent point. don't worry about your age, a number is a number and unless you're counting down to menopause and want children you shouldn't be concerned. With modern science you can still save eggs for later. Worry about not settling for anything less than everything you've ever dreamed of. Take if from someone who has been down the aisle 3 times. The first time I was 20, he was the father of my child and I thought "In recovery from addiction". When I was pregnant with our 3rd and he spent all our money on drugs I decided enough was enough. #2 was a nice enough guy, just "OK as a "father" and really ****ty as a "husband". I told hubby # 3 he's stuck with me until death do us part, even if I have to kill him myself. He is my soul mate and I met him at 35.
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    People are really hard on the musicians... Lol. I don't get that. I dated a musician who's never had financial trouble. He's played in bands and is a teacher. And my husband was a bass player. Poor guys... they get a bad rap.
  • Stacera
    Stacera Posts: 347 Member
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    single.. and 33 here.. apparently I made some effed up choices and these are the consequences?? I dunno really... I don't think I'm hideous... and I'm pretty damn funny.. according to myself and the people who hang with me..

    maybe I'm just meant to be single for life.. b/c it's starting to feel that way since I haven't had a relationship in a while now.. and I too tend to date the musician types..

    I'm going to go before I end up sad.

    buck up, I'm sure there is someone out there for you.. I didn't read what others wrote but someone might have good advice.
  • Katanthus
    Katanthus Posts: 348 Member
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    Men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
  • fitforlife34
    fitforlife34 Posts: 331 Member
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    Don't be in a rush Lady! Most people here don't get married until they're at least 30 - the ones who marry earlier tend to be girls with no college/ University education. Take your time, don't give out desperate 'I need a man' vibes...men can smell that desperation for miles around and it is not attractive.


    Exactly! since i've been single in my 20's I have gotten my BS degree, made a single, performed in a music group, published books etc. etc. But....I have dated a lot of wrong men, and made huge mistakes with credit cards and financial debt. Which I still pay for. By the way, you are very pretty!!!
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    Also, threads like these make me extra glad that I've never been interested in marriage or relationships. *kitten* sounds stressful.

    It is stressful but it's also rewarding. Being single has a different kind of stress, you know? I think it's probably a + for a person to spend a significant amount of their adult life single before marriage... at least, I know for myself I wouldn't have changed a thing really. I probably could have married at 30 instead of 34 and it would have been just as well... but I am glad I spent my 20's single. Great learning time.
  • jtslim42
    jtslim42 Posts: 240
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    Don't fret pretty lady! I'm 30, single, no kids, but I am having fun at this point in my life. Dating can be lots of fun! And I have some awesome stories... actually they are horrible but will make a great book one day:wink: Enjoy the ride:drinker:
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    Enjoy life, love you for you... take advantage, no hurry - you want a hubby, I'll give you mine, LOL (just kidding, but not really, LOL)
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
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    no there is nothing wrong with you! I was in the same boat but 33 is still young, I found my current BF at 36 and we have been together for 2.5 years...hopefully getting married someday :) I know hes the one, so he's out there...you'll find him when you least suspect, like me :wink:
  • BJPCraig
    BJPCraig Posts: 417 Member
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    My wife & I didn't meet until I was 34 and didn't get married until a year later. When the time is right, it will happen. In the meantime, what are you doing to meet someone? We met through a dating service. I've heard all the arguments about what's wrong with services, but I don't drink and hate most current music. So, I wasn't in places where I COULD meet someone. Also, I'm a vegetarian, so there was that to consider; being able to "pre-screen" people was a plus. Yes, it was expensive, but as happy as I am today, I'd call it a bargain at 10 times the price.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

    Homeless...


    (Seems like a gratuitous joke, but there is a lesson in there too.)

    Right up there with:

    How do you get a drummer off your front porch?

    Pay for the pizza.

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