Single at 33..why?

sprmom

I have to say, Im not in your boat, but at times the single life sounds so wonderful... dont get me worng I LOVE my children and my husband, but I also feel like Ive missed out on so much that I could have done as a single woman! I met my husband 2 weeks after I turned 18 married at 20 and we have been together 15 years... honestly I wonder what did I miss out on. I know *gasp* what a b*&%@ i must be! yes Im happy yes I have a great life, but people always look out the front door and wonder what if.... So my advice to you, is be yourself, have fun,enjoy life and sooner or later Mr right will come along. You are still young, the same age as me :-) Yet you still have so much living to do! I wish you the best in finding the love of your life,it will happen for you!

ZombieChaser

Welcome to the lonely people's club.

It's only lonely if you make it so - Unless of course you were being sarcastic, then carry on! :flowerforyou:

yoovie

I got married young. I am 30 and divorced. I'd much rather be 33 and single than 30 and divorced. The word 'divorced' seems to hold a lot of negative connotations when you date; like there must have been something wrong with me since my marriage failed. Getting people past that is really hard.

You will find people in their thirties are overwhelmingly more ok with this than 20 somethings. Like - you will totally be SHOCKED.

ejohndrow

I'm 31 single never married, no kids, in the Navy, almost done with a BS and a BA-I'm a hard worker and I consider myself a decent person.

At this point in time I am at a place where I would love to settle down, meet someone and have a family (alright mentally not physically, I wouldn't want to live here the rest of my life). However, I don't actively troll for possible husbands. I work, hang out with friends, etc. and my views are that it'll happen when it happens. And it's really only been the past year or so that I've felt this way.

It's still obnoxious to have people around me tell me I'm not missing out on anything, or I shouldn't 'go looking for it.' Sometimes it's not about self pity or a bad attitude, some people just aren't that great with the dating scene, I know I'm not.

It comes down to the fact that sometimes people just want to vent about feeling a little lonely and wondering why they just haven't met someone yet. I know I get a little annoyed when I hear the same answers or 'advise' from people. we're all different, just because someone is still happy being single at 50, doesn't mean someone else is happy being single at 30.

Basically OP, I feel you.

n25philly

Good man here 32 and single. It happens. It's harder than you think to find someone that is right for you.

skonly

There is no reason you can't be happy and single. People ask me all the time if I want to get married again. No I don't. There isn't enough room in the bed for another human, my dogs barely make room for me. lol. I know so many women who say they aren't happy unless they are with someone and then end up unhappy all the time because they bounce from man to man.

Personally I don't believe you can be happy with someone else unless you can be happy with yourself first. Having someone does not solve all your problems and make life better instantly. Don't stress over it and enjoy living your life. If you meet someone and it happens that's great. But in the meantime do things you want to do and don't worry about it.

Being single doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. If anything it means so far you have been smart enough not to settle down in a relationship that wasn't right for you.

LadonnaFunk

I feel for you. When I was in that boat, my brother told me that "all you need is one" guy. As in, there might not be a lot of guys out there that meet your requirements, but all you need to find is one! Whatever you do, don't lower your standards on the important stuff! Maybe try looking in some new places? You have to go to where the kind of guy that you're looking for is, and you have to be living a life that a person like that would find attractive. Anyway, I was in the same boat, couldn't find a nice Christian guy either, I prayed about it a lot, and then God brought a really great catch into my life. Best of luck to you...

kristen6022

I'm 33 and single, no kids, never engaged/married. It's not something to be depressed about. Lately I've been helping a friend (31 and male) through a divorce (they were married for 8 years). Trust me, I'm thankful to make my own money, have my place, own my own car and do whatever the heck I want. I'd rather be single and happy (and maybe a bit lonely at times) than have married the person I was with in my early 20's and realize now that I was in a loveless marriage with someone I can't stand.

UsedToBeHusky

I'm divorced with 2 kids at 34. I wish I had waited for the right one rather than rushing into it. Although, I'm really enjoying being single now than I ever have. As I get older, I wonder if I will ever find love again.

Don't sweat it if you haven't found the right one yet. That "better-to-have-loved-and-lost" thing is BS. If you loved and lost, then that means somewhere down the line, you were hurt too. Just don't give up. The right one is out there somewhere. Probably wondering why they are single at their age too. LOL!

IamBlackMamba

I say get over it. Look at all of these people who have their own wonderful stories to share. Life does not end or begin just because you are married with kids.

You have the power and the freedom to make life what you want it to be.

cbormac

I can say that I am 37 and single never been married nor have I ever proposed... I have met some that I am interested in but timing wasn't right, or I get stuck in the "Friend Zone". The worst two things one can hear is "just friends" and "you're a nice guy"... But maybe its for the best, because it may mean that they are not the one or timing is not right.. It still sucks, and feel the pain!

As I get older, I refuse to settle and hope that one day that timing may be right, or find one where I am not just a friend but both a friend and a lover.

mmm_drop

My question is why not? I too am 33 and single without kids. I have dated a lot, come close to engagement once and am totally okay with still being single! My closest friend is soon to be 37 and divorced, not once, but twice! I would rather be single, enjoy life, get to know me and be happy with me before committing to someone else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single in your 30s for men or women. When you meet the right one, you meet the right one. Until then, enjoy life! It's an adventure and don't take a minute for granted!

billsica

The simple answer is just to lower your standards.

imchicbad

From my experience...its when your looking that you find the same dill hole over and over, its when your NOT looking thats someone good comes along, so stop looking and let life happen on its own.:smokin:

Diary_Queen

I do have children, but that wasn't planned at all.... i am single at 33, never been married or engaged and only co-habitated twice with someone (once for 4 years and once for only a couple of months). I'm lovin my single life.... it's a blast to single in my little world. Chin up!

VanessaGS

Maybe you should try dating a different type of man. You never know. You'll meet the right one when you least expect it. Maybe just put yourself out there and go on dates with different guys. Sooner or later you will find out you click with. Have you thought about dating websites? This wasn't a dating website at the time, but I met my boyfriend 4 years ago on MySpace. I put myself out there and agreed to meet him in person. I was with a group of my friends so we met in a group setting and not alone, and now we've been together a little over 3 years. I've known him for 4 years. Just a thought.

dellrio

I love how people in their twenties totally think that those 9 years are the only ones that matter and you have to hurry and finish allllll your living before 30. Breaks my heart. I just want to rescue you all.

^^^ Yep. I went through college had lots of fun, after college all of my friends have kids, marriages, and many are divorced and miserable.

I am turning 30 in 7 months and I have never been having so much fun in all my life - I see all my friends sitting home with their SigOther and watching television and letting themselves go. They are always miserable and never want to do anything.

If my 30's are half as fun as my 20's I would say I am living an incredible life - in reality, I think the 30's are going to be just like the 20's except with a lot more money and a lot less debt!

jcstanton

Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

I'll be 36 in January and I'm having the same problem. I was married and divorced in my early twenties, and I was so devastated by it that I didn't know if I wanted to go through it again. When I had finally healed enough to realize that I did want to try again, I was approaching 30 and quickly discovered that most decent men that age are already spoken for in one way or another. At this point, I've given the situation completely over to God. He knows His plans for my life. I know He wants me to serve Him every day, so that's what I do and I trust Him to bring the right guy along if/when He sees fit. If He doesn't, that just leaves me free to do things I couldn't do if I were married.

bulbadoof

Well, do you want a husband so you can fit the image you have in your head of how a woman your age should be living, or do you want a person you genuinely appreciate to spend your life with?

No, seriously, think about it. Are you looking for a label or a person?

If you want a person, find one doing something you love. Volunteer for a cause you care about. Go to events that interest you. Take a class for a hobby you've always had, or always wanted to have. Just get out into the world and enjoy it the way you want to. Anybody you meet at any of these places, you will instantly have something in common with. Make friends! Get to genuinely know and care about the people you meet, and if you end up falling for a guy along the way, great! It's way more likely to be a sincere and satisfied relationship than just dating whoever mommy approves of because you feel obligated to get married.

If you want a label, perhaps you're lucky you haven't ended up married yet, because you'd probably be unhappy.

dellrio

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.