Single at 33..why?

cbormac

I can say that I am 37 and single never been married nor have I ever proposed... I have met some that I am interested in but timing wasn't right, or I get stuck in the "Friend Zone". The worst two things one can hear is "just friends" and "you're a nice guy"... But maybe its for the best, because it may mean that they are not the one or timing is not right.. It still sucks, and feel the pain!

As I get older, I refuse to settle and hope that one day that timing may be right, or find one where I am not just a friend but both a friend and a lover.

mmm_drop

My question is why not? I too am 33 and single without kids. I have dated a lot, come close to engagement once and am totally okay with still being single! My closest friend is soon to be 37 and divorced, not once, but twice! I would rather be single, enjoy life, get to know me and be happy with me before committing to someone else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single in your 30s for men or women. When you meet the right one, you meet the right one. Until then, enjoy life! It's an adventure and don't take a minute for granted!

billsica

The simple answer is just to lower your standards.

imchicbad

From my experience...its when your looking that you find the same dill hole over and over, its when your NOT looking thats someone good comes along, so stop looking and let life happen on its own.:smokin:

Diary_Queen

I do have children, but that wasn't planned at all.... i am single at 33, never been married or engaged and only co-habitated twice with someone (once for 4 years and once for only a couple of months). I'm lovin my single life.... it's a blast to single in my little world. Chin up!

VanessaGS

Maybe you should try dating a different type of man. You never know. You'll meet the right one when you least expect it. Maybe just put yourself out there and go on dates with different guys. Sooner or later you will find out you click with. Have you thought about dating websites? This wasn't a dating website at the time, but I met my boyfriend 4 years ago on MySpace. I put myself out there and agreed to meet him in person. I was with a group of my friends so we met in a group setting and not alone, and now we've been together a little over 3 years. I've known him for 4 years. Just a thought.

dellrio

I love how people in their twenties totally think that those 9 years are the only ones that matter and you have to hurry and finish allllll your living before 30. Breaks my heart. I just want to rescue you all.

^^^ Yep. I went through college had lots of fun, after college all of my friends have kids, marriages, and many are divorced and miserable.

I am turning 30 in 7 months and I have never been having so much fun in all my life - I see all my friends sitting home with their SigOther and watching television and letting themselves go. They are always miserable and never want to do anything.

If my 30's are half as fun as my 20's I would say I am living an incredible life - in reality, I think the 30's are going to be just like the 20's except with a lot more money and a lot less debt!

jcstanton

Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

I'll be 36 in January and I'm having the same problem. I was married and divorced in my early twenties, and I was so devastated by it that I didn't know if I wanted to go through it again. When I had finally healed enough to realize that I did want to try again, I was approaching 30 and quickly discovered that most decent men that age are already spoken for in one way or another. At this point, I've given the situation completely over to God. He knows His plans for my life. I know He wants me to serve Him every day, so that's what I do and I trust Him to bring the right guy along if/when He sees fit. If He doesn't, that just leaves me free to do things I couldn't do if I were married.

bulbadoof

Well, do you want a husband so you can fit the image you have in your head of how a woman your age should be living, or do you want a person you genuinely appreciate to spend your life with?

No, seriously, think about it. Are you looking for a label or a person?

If you want a person, find one doing something you love. Volunteer for a cause you care about. Go to events that interest you. Take a class for a hobby you've always had, or always wanted to have. Just get out into the world and enjoy it the way you want to. Anybody you meet at any of these places, you will instantly have something in common with. Make friends! Get to genuinely know and care about the people you meet, and if you end up falling for a guy along the way, great! It's way more likely to be a sincere and satisfied relationship than just dating whoever mommy approves of because you feel obligated to get married.

If you want a label, perhaps you're lucky you haven't ended up married yet, because you'd probably be unhappy.

dellrio

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

nbhobbes

I'm single and 37, never been married, no kids and do you know what that means?

It means I haven't ****ed up!

So congrats on not making any mistakes in your 33 years!

NoAdditives

I understand the frustration if you want children and your clock is ticking. But my experience is that it's much easier to find a good man when you don't think you need one to have a complete and happy life.

Exactly this. As cliche as it is, love will find you when you least expect it. I spent my early 20's chasing guys, moving from one crush to another. I'm pretty, so they were interested. Until they got to know me. Then they ran away. (Honestly, there was nothing wrong with me, I'm pretty awesome.) Finally, I read "He's Just Not That Into You" and it changed my perspective, and my behavior. I decided to stop pursuing and just let things happen as they happened. A few months later, my husband found me. We've been together for five years, married for four. We've got three kids.

Once I chilled out and put an "I'm awesome and totally fine by myself" attitude out into the world, I found the person who would love me more than anyone else out there, and who would love me for exactly who I am. Be confident. Enjoy your life. Enjoy yourself. You'll the right person, you just need to believe in yourself and not define yourself by what you don't have.

rexzmumu

i want to get back to this later, im loving some of these stories.

hiddensmiles21

Anytime you're feeling down about being single, go to this website. You will instantly feel better.

http://myfriendsaremarried.tumblr.com/

this made my day 100% better :laugh:

ccburn5

This may not be the direction you intended but good lord am I jealous!! Congrats for living life the way you wanted for all of these years! I'm sure the right man is out there.

123nikki123

Don't be in too much of a hurry! I was married for over 11 years and now I've been divorced for over 1. I have recently met an amazing man and I'm 35...he 33! Go for the younger ones, lol You may have better luck.

randomtai

This may not be the direction you intended but good lord am I jealous!! Congrats for living life the way you wanted for all of these years! I'm sure the right man is out there.

I agree....

DMZ_1

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

TooSexy4MyBody

advice that is practical?

stop looking and enjoy your life

dont focus on age and numbers and types. It all means little to nothing.

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!!!
I met the love of my life at age 44. Oh, I got married at age 18, and was married almost 30 years to an aweful man who made my life absolutely miserable before that! I never, ever thought I'd even date again. (by choice) However, I lived my life, enjoyed myself, and met an incredible man who is also my very best friend, lover, confidant, partner, helper, protector, etc. We are getting married later this year! And I couldn't have a better outlook for the rest of my life.

yoovie

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

How old are you?

yoovie

As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

You are honestly starting to disgust me.

I find dating as an adult, who finally honestly knows who she is and how she got here, to be so effing satisfying and rewarding because I have wisdom, experience and a solid sense of what works to make me a better person and what makes me less awesome or miserable. When I was 26 I had just quit being a brat, was barely out of school and had no idea what life and real responsibility meant. My worries and problems were trivial sht and I thought I was so grown up.

What a joke, I had no business being a mom when I was younger- How could I have been there for my husband and children while I was panicking because I forgot to find out who I really am and what I need to function in a situation where I must always look out for someone other than myself.

You need to be selfish in your twenties so you can finish developing as much as you can and if you're trying to start a family asap to fit in with social standards of America - then you will have to accept that when you rush- you are more likely to make mistakes and probably have to eventually step back, realise its all mucked up, erase giant chunks of the euation, or the whole thing, and start over cause you decided to choose something that is legal, long term and difficult to reverse, just because you didnt want to be single in your thirties.

You should stop stating your opinions as fact because its honestly starting to hurt.

yoovie

Don't be in too much of a hurry! I was married for over 11 years and now I've been divorced for over 1. I have recently met an amazing man and I'm 35...he 33! Go for the younger ones, lol You may have better luck.

sobriquet84

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

i would just like to say a few things:

1. "seen the dating scene for 10 years by the time they're 26"???? um, you're a CHILD till 22, at LEAST. frankly, considering anything under the age of 21 as a part of "the singles scene" is pretty creepy, dude. going all the way down to 16 is verging on pedophilic.

2. you are NOT the same person at 25 as you were when you were 20. as you're not the same person at 30 as you were when you're 25. some people just aren't ready to get married until their later 20's, early 30's, mid 30's, late 30's. and its a GOOD thing to be able to recongnize that so that you avoid getting married too young and then find yourself in a very difficult marriage or divorced.

3. stop referring to it as "the market". we're not talking about cattle here. we're talking about meeting someone and falling in love and making a life long commitment which requires great maturity and reverence, and that has nothing to do with any "market".

4. my husband and i are approaching 30, been married a couple years, and we still enjoy the "party scene", thankyouverymuch. you don't die and suddenly stop enjoying a fun social life when you get married. well, at least we haven't.

dellrio

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

The point is what works for your boring life works for you. I am not talking about the club scene nor the dating scene - I am talking about the ME scene and doing what I want when I want with no repercussions or opposition. I want to snowboard - I snowboard, I want to go to a concert, I go - I want to buy a new car, I do it - never consult with others - just pure happiness without compromise. But whatever you say man - If I lived by your standards i would be not living my life the way I wanted, I have no desire to "get married before 26" nor meet any of your deadlines. I know there are plenty of the "best singles" still available well into any age. I don't need to be married to "build a more desirable life" in fact many of my "happily" married friends tell me they are happy - but jealous of my lifestyle - sounds to me like I am living a desirable life as well.

The OP came on here looking for support and she had tons of people telling her not to rush the situation - then you come here and tell her - oops - she already missed the chance all the good ones were gone 8 years ago - you have some serious issues that you need to address.

OP - don't fret - If marriage is what you are looking for - read most of the other supportive posts here, and while you are waiting/looking for your match - enjoy the freedoms you have and focus on YOU time - that you will not regret.

And dude - the Greys Anatomy comment was a metaphor.

Your advice does not apply to anyone but you.

yoovie

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

i would just like to say a few things:

1. "seen the dating scene for 10 years by the time they're 26"???? um, you're a CHILD till 22, at LEAST. frankly, considering anything under the age of 21 as a part of "the singles scene" is pretty creepy, dude. going all the way down to 16 is verging on pedophilic.

2. you are NOT the same person at 25 as you were when you were 20. as you're not the same person at 30 as you were when you're 25. some people just aren't ready to get married until their later 20's, early 30's, mid 30's, late 30's. and its a GOOD thing to be able to recongnize that so that you avoid getting married too young and then find yourself in a very difficult marriage or divorced.

3. stop referring to it as "the market". we're not talking about cattle here. we're talking about meeting someone and falling in love and making a life long commitment which requires great maturity and reverence, and that has nothing to do with any "market".

4. my husband and i are approaching 30, been married a couple years, and we still enjoy the "party scene", thankyouverymuch. you don't die and suddenly stop enjoying a fun social life when you get married. well, at least we haven't.

just fell in love with you.

EnchantedEvening

My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 33 and he was 35. He's out there somewhere.

Have you considered joining any sites like Christian Mingle or eHarmony? My cousin married a woman he met on eHarmony (they were both in their mid-thirties), and my friend found her husband on Christian Mingle.

EnchantedEvening

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

You say this as if people weren't looking. Sometimes things don't work out. How naive are you? How old are you, for that matter?

If I'd married the people I'd dated in my early to mid-twenties, I'd be miserable right now. My boyfriend, who I've been with for almost three years, treats me 1000 times better than any of them ever did, he's more stable, and since we met each other in our thirties, we knew exactly what we wanted and didn't want in a partner. We still have fun going out on weekends and traveling. We aren't taking Metamucil shots and comparing liver spots just yet.

DMZ_1

At 33, if you are still single, you have to change the way you are doing things. Change surroundings and the type of person you're dating. Get in better shape. There are many things that any 33 year old single could do differently. I don't believe we are meant to be single after 25.

Hope you enjoyed Greys Anatomy last night while I was out partying with awesome good looking fun and exciting people!

The best single times of my life happened beyond 25 - you missed out buddy.

I wasn't watching Grey's Anatomy last night and never have seen that show.

Most people have done the party and club scene in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to see the party and club scene for what it is. As said earlier, by your 26th birthday, most people have seen the dating scene for 10 years, and that's enough time to figure it out. Going through the early rounds of dating when you are 26 or older is a much less gratifying experience. Sure, you can meet someone great after that, but it gets more difficult as many of the best singles are coupled off by then. The market has noticeably thinned by late 20s.

These age figures apply to both men and women. I think it is a smart thing to find a marriage partner earlier and get on with building a desirable life sooner.

i would just like to say a few things:

1. "seen the dating scene for 10 years by the time they're 26"???? um, you're a CHILD till 22, at LEAST. frankly, considering anything under the age of 21 as a part of "the singles scene" is pretty creepy, dude. going all the way down to 16 is verging on pedophilic.

2. you are NOT the same person at 25 as you were when you were 20. as you're not the same person at 30 as you were when you're 25. some people just aren't ready to get married until their later 20's, early 30's, mid 30's, late 30's. and its a GOOD thing to be able to recongnize that so that you avoid getting married too young and then find yourself in a very difficult marriage or divorced.

3. stop referring to it as "the market". we're not talking about cattle here. we're talking about meeting someone and falling in love and making a life long commitment which requires great maturity and reverence, and that has nothing to do with any "market".

4. my husband and i are approaching 30, been married a couple years, and we still enjoy the "party scene", thankyouverymuch. you don't die and suddenly stop enjoying a fun social life when you get married. well, at least we haven't.

1. People start dating each other in high school. I'm talking about the normal high school relationships. That's the typical first exposure to dating. From 18-22, you're going on dates, seeing people. This is exposure to dating.

2. Agree in the sense that if a person can't find someone suitable younger, they should wait. But too much waiting leads to perpetual singlehood.

4. No one said that someone had to stop enjoying a fun social life when you get married. And going out to bars and dance clubs as a 30 year old couple is a much different mindset than going out to bars and dance clubs as a 30 year old single.

crimznrose

I'm 31 and have many times where I wish I was single again. If you'd like to borrow my unsupportive husband and lazy pre-teen children I'd be happy to send them over. :bigsmile:

TooSexy4MyBody

The simple answer is just to lower your standards.

That's the answer to becoming married. Not happily married.

Never lower your standards! Never settle for less than what you want. Never! You'll never be happy if you do! Just wait it out!