Single at 33..why?

likearadiowave

30, single. I've often wondered the same thing myself.

Don't consider it a defect. Consider it FREEEDDOMM

emaren

I am 47 and have been married for 13 years.....

I got married at 26 and it lasted barely 4 years before it all blew apart - we did not so much grow apart, but we went in opposite directions from day one.

I have a theory that most of us have no clue where we are heading until we are pushing 40, therefore most every decision we make that works out well before than is pure luck, the younger you are when you get married, the more pure luck is involved in holding the relationship together as you get older.

karenwill2

What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?

Homeless...


(Seems like a gratuitous joke, but there is a lesson in there too.)

I told this to my bass player husband. He LOL'd all over the place. This is a great one. However, my bass player is our breadwinner. But his playing time went away after our first baby except on rare occasions. I do love to watch him play though......

BeetleChe13

I didn't meet my husband until I was 36.

Meet him the same weekend I decided that I wasn't going to date anymore because there were no good men left.... :laugh:

Oh, I wish I had a dollar for every story like this. Me and a friend from high school had both been recently dumped by our fiancees when we started hanging out as friends with no romantic interest. But hey, funny things happen, and now we've been happily married for a year. Just when you stop looking, you can find that special person. OP, be yourself and enjoy your life. Someone just for you will enter your life at just the right time. Until then, don't worry.

bunchesonothing

I have a theory that most of us have no clue where we are heading until we are pushing 40, therefore most every decision we make that works out well before than is pure luck, the younger you are when you get married, the more pure luck is involved in holding the relationship together as you get older.

I agree that most of us probably don't know where we are headed, but I don't believe that every decision that works out well is luck. For my husband and I, it took a boatload of work. Compromise. Understanding ourselves and working on ourselves. We are very different people, with a great deal of respect for who the other is and what they bring to the home. We butted heads with each other for a good long time, when we each had to have things our way. Eventually we figured out that sometimes, his way was better and sometimes mine was. We play on each other's strengths and we bolster either other's weaknesses if it's wanted. Especially this year, we've been through some hell and still love/want each other madly. Situations don't dictate relationships. People do.

Marc713

advice that is practical?

stop looking and enjoy your life

dont focus on age and numbers and types. It all means little to nothing.

That's about what I was going to say. Live life for you, get to know yourself, and don't wait for anything. Live! Most people that get married young don't really even know who they are yet, what they want from life, or what they want/don't want in a partner.

draco706

30, single, never married, no kids, no desire to have kids. All my ex-boyfriends either petered out into friendships or post break-up found they preferred boyfriends instead of girlfriends. I think it gave me a complex.

i_love_vinegar

Actually I change my answer:

Buy a cat.

Whitezombiegirl

I met my man whrn he was 42- never married or engaged with no kids- which was great for me as I'm not for marriage or kids and would never a date a man with kids (and preferably not an ex-wife either).

Staceychanges94

My mother had me when she was 31 and i don't think there's anything wrong about it.
You are free to decide whoever you're gonna love. It doesn't matter if he has a good or bad job,at least he's trying and it's ok if he isn't a Christian (maybe not to you and i respect that).
Anyway my point is,find a man who's gonna love you,respect you,treat you right like u do.

Oh,and there's nothing wrong with that. You're independed

zoeluiisa

I think it depends what's normal in your community. When I was 33 no-one I knew was married so it didn't occur to me to feel left on the shelf! Now we're in our late 30s people are starting to settle down.

To be honest, I'd happily stay single for ever if it wasn't that I want kids.

d3mon4ngel

I'm 30, single and not looking to change that anytime soon. I've been married (at 21) and divorced (at 25), and was actually engaged to the last person I broke up with too.

I know that I take things way too fast in relationships, and always end up driving them into the figurative wall. I've made a decision to stay away from them all now, until I'm happy with myself, who I am, where I'm going and how I look. I know how selfish this sounds, but there's too much to do and too much to see without having to plan life around someone else as well!

Deedee0075

I think people are failing to recognize that while age might only be a number for men, it isn't just a number for women. If you meet your husband at 36 or 42, not having children is a real possibility. People don't usually plan on infertility, so the earlier you can try, the better. I didn't get married until 34 and it happened very suddenly. My engagement period was only 3 weeks. I know that doesn't help most of you and you've heard the same story a thousand times, but remember that each day can bring something different.

Maddalen101

One of my friends - male - no game, but really bright - went through some of the WORST women I've ever known a man to suffer. He's now 43. And just got engaged to the perfect woman for him ... just a few years younger, and never herself married or engaged, either. How did he meet her? His brother worked with her, and introduced him. Sometimes the right person pops from the most unexpected portal.

LadyIvysMom

I think people are failing to recognize that while age might only be a number for men, it isn't just a number for women. If you meet your husband at 36 or 42, not having children is a real possibility. People don't usually plan on infertility, so the earlier you can try, the better. I didn't get married until 34 and it happened very suddenly. My engagement period was only 3 weeks. I know that doesn't help most of you and you've heard the same story a thousand times, but remember that each day can bring something different.

You don’t need to be married to have a child. If having a child is all that matters to you, go to a sperm bank. Adopt. Don’t marry some guy you don’t want to be with just so you can have kids.

Sorry, but even if I wanted kids, which I don’t, I’m pretty sure I’d rather be childless than have a child with a man I didn’t want to be with.

fitforlife34

I want to thank you guys for ALL THE wonderful comments and replies to my post. A post that was written in emotion on a bad morning, but a topic that has been making me down for a while. I now feel much happier. I smile knowing that I"m not the only one who feels single and confused why, but also that I can be happy with my life. That I don't need to rush love, it will happen. I know I"m not desparate, I've dated a ton in my life, and I am college educated, a singer, writer, and working on my self confidence. I know if I don't love myself, no one else can love me. I attract the wrong men because I don't feel I deseve the best.

You guys made me realize that I am a good person, and just because you are single and everyone around you seems happily married doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. We all walk our own paths, and sometimes things happen in their own season. NOw I don't have to worry about being single! Because I"m not alone.

Fitforlife34

zoeluiisa

So glad you've got to a happy place about it! And next time you're down - remember that lots of people are in bad marriages, and that would be far worse than being single. The grass is not always as green as it appears.

xx

Jonesingmucho

im single because i a below average looking male whos looking for an above average looking female....simple as that...ohh and i lack game

@IlovetheBrown It appears you have game.

caslyn3

Almost every I know that is in a relationship or married.. is pretty unhappy. They get treated like crap or have absolutely no trust in their relationship. I am single, 26 years old.. and I have a 9, almost 10 year old daughter. I often as myself that same question.. but then I know why - I AM WAY TOO PICKY!! I can't lower my standards just so I can be like everyone I know and be miserable. They love their spouse or significant other, however they are LOCKED DOWN. I enjoy very much not having to answer to anyone or worry about someone else other than my daughter and myself. Also, I don't like to bring strange men around my daughter. That is my problem. I can't get close to someone because I don't want them being around my child until I know they are THE ONE! .. and they never really are.. If I were you, and I am in the same boat so just the same.. I wouldn't worry about it. Let GOD take control, it is his plan anyways.. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Don't let someone stand in the way of HIS plan for you.

bunchesonothing

I know people who are happy single. I know people who are happy married.

I'm beginning to think that happiness doesn't so much need to depend on your relationship status.