The Power of Thinking Positively (but Realistically)?

One thing to think about is to build on that positive self-image you have (the part of you that says, "I may be fat, but I'm not so bad!") and turn it into a positive attitude that tells the cold part of you you "hey! we can do this, and we're worth it!"

You don't have to do it all at once-- even losing 10% of your current weight can improve your health statistics-- so maybe take it 10% at a time. So make that a goal-- and when you get there, celebrate that goal! Then, set a new goal for the next 10%.

The HOT you CAN beat the COLD you!

Agree with the comments on smaller weight target goals and also non-weight related goals. For example:
Non-weight goals
1. Log every day for at least a month. Log good days and bad, this is critical. You will want to log everyday after that as well but start at a month.
2. Workout on average 4 times a week for a month. More is always better but if after a month you do it then go on to the next month.
3. Be under your daily net calorie target on average 6 of the 7 days in a week for 4 straight weeks.
4. Lose 1 inch from your waist.

Weight goals
My goal is to lose the next 5 lbs. I started at 284 and wanted to get to 279 then to 274 then to 269, etc. I am now only about 2 - five pound increments from hitting my target.

Hope that helps and we know you can have a successful journey.

Agree with the comments on smaller weight target goals and also non-weight related goals. For example:
Non-weight goals
1. Log every day for at least a month. Log good days and bad, this is critical. You will want to log everyday after that as well but start at a month.
2. Workout on average 4 times a week for a month. More is always better but if after a month you do it then go on to the next month.
3. Be under your daily net calorie target on average 6 of the 7 days in a week for 4 straight weeks.
4. Lose 1 inch from your waist.

Weight goals
My goal is to lose the next 5 lbs. I started at 284 and wanted to get to 279 then to 274 then to 269, etc. I am now only about 2 - five pound increments from hitting my target.

Hope that helps and we know you can have a successful journey.

Larry, you look amazing! Great advice, too.

The mind is a beautifully, terrible thing. You are absolutely right in your assessment of how you feel. I think many of us suffer from this tug-of-war between the positive and negative. I can only tell you how I've progressed, mentally, and maybe that will be useful to you.

My highest weight, I was 282 lbs, but I started back in January at 266. I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, premature arthritis, and a host of other ailments came to light. High blood pressure, cholesterol, and all my blood tests were horrible. I'm only 30 years old. I should be in the prime of my life.

My doctor put me on diet pills and told me to eat 1200 calories a day. I dropped 15 lbs. and then stopped. I still had a terrible time binge eating, even though the pills were supposed to curb appetite. I kept faltering, feeling discouraged, and feeling pretty much like I always have in life.....a failure.

I don't know when it happened exactly or even why, but one day back in January....something just clicked all of a sudden. I simply...let go. I let go of all the mental bashing and blame games. I let go of my feelings of inferiority and and the pressures of dropping the weight RIGHT NOW. At that moment...none of that mattered anymore. I knew for once in my life that this wasn't a race. Life isn't a 50 yard dash to the finish line. As long as I found a way that worked for ME, I would be alright.

I increased my protein, which greatly stopped my binges. I sat down and figured out my TDEE and what my calorie deficit should be. That brought me up to 1600 calories. Eating more stopped my feelings of depravity and being "on a diet". I was eating enough and able to eat the things I enjoyed. My sanity was restored and I began seeing this whole thing in a completely different light.

Why do I care how long it takes me to lose the weight? I've been obese for nearly my entire life. As long as the weight comes off, even at a snail's pace, it means I'm still moving in the right direction. If I binge or go over in calories one day, so what?? I can make sure tomorrow is better.

The subtle realization that THIS...IS...LIFE had finally sunk in. Life happens. A healthy life is like a road riddled with potholes, detours, and scenic routes. It's not straight and narrow, and it shouldn't be....or else we aren't living! I stopped beating myself up for that 650 calorie cupcake on St. Patty's Day, or that unknown amount of calories celebrating Easter (with chocolate cake) at the retirement home with my grandmother. Why? Because I wouldn't trade those calories in for the memories I made. That isn't failing. THAT is simply a life well lived. I realized that what is important is taking each day as it comes, and doing the very best you can to make the RIGHT choices. Moderation is key, and occasional indulgence is necessary.

Around the same time, I realized something else: I don't need motivation. It doesn't take motivation to log all my food (good or bad). It doesn't take motivation to bargain with myself by adding and subtracting things out of my preplanned diary to make room for the things I do want. It takes HABIT. Lifestyle changes are nothing more than small, good, everyday changes that you make. The ones you can live with. Keep editing your life by making positive changes here and there, and after some time....they become habit. All those little, accumulated good habits are what create a lifestyle change. It doesn't require an overnight major overhaul of one's entire life. It just requires the desire to keep doing it.

I realized that if my mind is fighting all the changes I put in place, then I am essentially at a stale mate. If I'm holding myself back.... who is pushing me forward? It was only when I got my mind onboard that I stopped floundering. I take full responsibility for my actions. I'm the only one that wields the fork. If I blame everyone, everything, and every environmental factor on my obesity, then what will I learn? This is my life and my health. I am the only one responsible for that.

So my advice to you? Let go. Just let go of all the negativity, blame, and hopelessness. Log your food, keep a calorie deficit, and try to be more active. Weight loss is that simple. Once that weight starts to accumulate, motivation will come from within. You don't need external sources anymore, and that will propel you further. Starting really is the hardest part. After that, it's simply a slow, snowball effect.

I weighed 219.6 lbs. as of this morning. I was 225 lbs. when I was 24 years old. My 31st birthday is May 28th. By the end of this month, I will probably weigh 50+ lbs LESS than the last birthday I celebrated. I now have 99 lbs. to reach my goal weight of 120 lbs....give or take. And there's only about 20 lbs. standing in my way of seeing 199 lbs. on my scale. "ONEderland" is just on the horizon, but I'm not running towards it. I'm meandering...and that's the kind of pace that works for me. Find what works for you. :flowerforyou:

Edit to mention, I stopped the diet pills back in January when I increased my calories. I no longer felt like I needed them.