Lost weight? You Liar!

MakeLifeBright
MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
Ok, so it seems weird that when I told my family, who have not seen me in 3 years I lost weight..

they "out of no where' sent me a webcam in the mail. I was surprised when the UPS man knocked on my door yesterday.
I was not expecting a package at all. I was confused when I opened it to find a webcam.
No note, no card .. a webcam!

I looked on the box, and realized it was from my older brother . I called to ask about .. why he sent me this?? If I wanted
a cam I could have bought one myself. He assured me it was because they missed seeing me.

Right after my sis in law gets on the phone. Oh I miss you she says, and in the very next sentence. So, Mom says you lost some weight. Yes, I did . I proudly said!
My Sister in law then Seriously said nooo sister I do not believe you lost that much weight!

Thank's for all the support brother , sister, brother, dad, ugh! I am heartbroken to know the ones that should love you and support you the most.. judge me .
I want to send the webcam right back! Because even though I have lost a lot of weight.. I still have 30 pounds to lose, for my height. and I know once they get a glimpse of my double chin they will all talk against me!!


Am I taking this the wrong way??
«1

Replies

  • sweetn3ss
    sweetn3ss Posts: 341 Member
    Wow that is harsh. I am sorry that your family has broken your heart. It is hard enough to reach your achievement, but to have your own blood deny you that pleasure. I would be devastated. Please know that I will never judge you for I have walked a mile down the same path. You have done great. Best of luck!

    PS
    I dont think you are taking it wrong. If they really missed seeing you then you would have received the web cam 3 yrs ago.
  • scarletjg
    scarletjg Posts: 29 Member
    I don't know your family or the history you have with them. I just know that if I had lost 60 lbs my entire family would be so proud of me and would want to see the results of all my hard work so they could praise me. I love seeing pics of family and friends who have done what you've done.

    Still, I don't know you're history so... :)
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    I'm so sorry! Sometimes it takes awhile for your body to settle into it's new weight. You just keep going and one day you're going to hit your goal and they can eat their words. Nobody even noticed that I lost weight until about a month after I stopped losing. Your scale and the size of your clothes will tell you all you need to know.
  • Jesusfollower72
    Jesusfollower72 Posts: 95
    I would have been hurt too and questioned their motives for sending the webcam. I'm sorry to hear they are not as supportive as family should be, but you have a tremendous support system here on this website.
    You could send a note explaining how their disbelief made you feel. I have to admit I would not want to use the webcam and would seriously consider sending it back.
    I pray for God's wisdom and discernment for you know what He wants you to do.
  • SassyMissDasha
    SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
    I would turn that webcam on, and SHOW them exactly how much weight you lost. Then tell me to stick it where the sun don't shine! Sorry they did that to you.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Thank you every one.. I thought we were a close loving family.
    I moved some 900 miles away from home, because of my hubbys job situation.
    I have missed them dearly, and was planning a trip back home next summer.
    Then after this.. I just could not believe it!!

    Thank you all for the support, love and Compassion you have shown me here
    I really appreciate it!!
  • canroadrunner
    canroadrunner Posts: 203 Member
    Keep the webcam but tell them you just can't figure out how to use it. Must have been the cheapo model. :blushing:


    Then keep losing until you see them next summer.
  • lynne_cook
    lynne_cook Posts: 7
    I've learned that it doesn't matter what other people think,i'm sure you feel better and healthier,be proud of what you accomplished and keep up the good work.When you put on a pair of pants and they are too big,that makes it all worth while.Stand tall and be proud!
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Keep the webcam but tell them you just can't figure out how to use it. Must have been the cheapo model. :blushing:


    Then keep losing until you see them next summer.

    Love the idea !! I will do it!! :wink:
  • katheren
    katheren Posts: 2
    I would be seriously offended and hurt as well. Sent the webcam back and let them know you do not need their validation to know you are working hard toward a new you. No one should be allowed to treat you that way, family or not! Congrats on your loss!
  • ChellieIrish
    ChellieIrish Posts: 593 Member
    So sorry that this has happened to you :frown: you are an inspiration 60 lbs is a HUGE loss don't let them deter you from your own goals :heart:

    Is it possible that they are heavy and are just jealous maybe they are struggling to lose some themselves and just cannot believe that someone is strong enough to do it :flowerforyou:

    If it was me I would be PROUD to hook up the webcam and SHOW them how much you have achieved ... Do it for YOU not for them :heart:
  • lpoor
    lpoor Posts: 6
    I cannot believe how rude your family was. I am so sorry for you. They may be part of the reason that you had gained some weight originally. Most of the time it is emotional issues that cause us to have poor eating habits at some times in our lives. I think you should be proud of yourself!! I think that much weight loss is amazing. Keep up the good work. I am sure you have support form friends and others around you. Maybe your family is just envious of you. To heck with them!!!
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    So sorry that this has happened to you :frown: you are an inspiration 60 lbs is a HUGE loss don't let them deter you from your own goals :heart:

    Is it possible that they are heavy and are just jealous maybe they are struggling to lose some themselves and just cannot believe that someone is strong enough to do it :flowerforyou:

    If it was me I would be PROUD to hook up the webcam and SHOW them how much you have achieved ... Do it for YOU not for them :heart:

    well they are not heavy. My brother was military so he is fit.. and the rest of them live at the gym darn near!!
    they have always been telling me to get healthy.. and now that I am getting healthy .. they just dont believe it!
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Thank you all for the kind words. I needed that today.
    You have all given me the motivation to continue on this journey =0)
  • ljm0104
    ljm0104 Posts: 42
    Sounds like my family! You don't need to rely on them to know you are doing a good job. Just wait till you go back next summer wear the bikini that they can't wear and just know that you look better than them.
  • taylorsgirl
    taylorsgirl Posts: 6
    Don't worry about your family. Who are you doing for. . . Them or yourself? Just keep going forward and keep getting into shape!
  • joannasaurusrex
    joannasaurusrex Posts: 83
    I'd sell the webcam on ebay and use the money to buy a nice treat for the skinny new you :)
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    When sis-in-law said, "Noooo, you didn't lose that much weight...",

    A) Did you have the web-cam on yet? Did they see you?
    B) Could it have been like, "Oh, I can't BELIEVE you lost that much weight"

    Otherwise, if there was a mocking to the response, I would have simply said, "Thanks for the WebCam" and NEVER contact them using it.

    You just stick with us, your MFP family. We will take care of you. We will support you, and we will most DEFINITELY not question your successes. Just remember, blood IS thicker than water, but water being so hard to consume enough of, do you want blood or water?

    Thought so!! :heart: :drinker:
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    Thank you every one.. I thought we were a close loving family.
    I moved some 900 miles away from home, because of my hubbys job situation.
    I have missed them dearly, and was planning a trip back home next summer.
    Then after this.. I just could not believe it!!

    Thank you all for the support, love and Compassion you have shown me here
    I really appreciate it!!

    When you go home next summer, you'll have hit your goal!
  • Becka77
    Becka77 Posts: 284 Member
    Well, based on your original post, it was only your SIL that made a negative comment. So, maybe your SIL is just a b*@h. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your "whole" family is trying to sabotage you or isn't being supportive based on the comments of one dumb b*@h, maybe she's jealous that you were getting so much attention. I would feel out each family member individually.

    Either way, you got a free webcam, enjoy it!!
  • Jozie236
    Jozie236 Posts: 47 Member
    IMO, you should tell your brother and sister in law that you are by the disbelief regarding your weight loss, that you have been working very hard to change your lifestyle, and that you will see them next summer.

    Honestly, what they might have meant is that they didn't think you needed to loose that much weight, so they are expecting pictures of you as a skinny-minnie. I think you should take that as a compliment, meaning you are so pretty that you look great even at your heaviest. BUT, don't send them any pictures so you don't get any negative feedback that you really don't need. We all know how hard it is to loose. Keep the webcam, it was a gift. I doubt they will be brash enough to directly ASK you for photos, and if they do, say you'd rather not share photos of yourself b/c you are hurt.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    IMO, you should tell your brother and sister in law that you are by the disbelief regarding your weight loss, that you have been working very hard to change your lifestyle, and that you will see them next summer.

    Honestly, what they might have meant is that they didn't think you needed to loose that much weight, so they are expecting pictures of you as a skinny-minnie. I think you should take that as a compliment, meaning you are so pretty that you look great even at your heaviest. BUT, don't send them any pictures so you don't get any negative feedback that you really don't need. We all know how hard it is to loose. Keep the webcam, it was a gift. I doubt they will be brash enough to directly ASK you for photos, and if they do, say you'd rather not share photos of yourself b/c you are hurt.

    True, I will not send them any pictures.. but I will post some on here . To show before and after of what I have done so far.
    Thank's again every one for your response =) I really appreciate it
  • 623Hernandez
    623Hernandez Posts: 458
    Wow, No you are not taking it the wrong way. Your family loves you the best way they know how to. They are excited for you that you lost the weight and want to be part of your journey. Your family sounds a lot like mine, a bunch of negative Nancys! They don't know how to express themselves any other way. They can only describe negative things so if they don't have much to say then you know you are doing really really really REALLY good! Or if they harp on what you still need to lose then they are proud of you and want you to keep up the good work. It is hard to translate this type of behavior into something positive but I know if you really try you can find the love in all their meanness. lol I hope you know what I mean. If you need a translator I will gladly help! :) Keep up the hard work and I am proud of you too!
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
    Sometimes people don't want you to change. Or maybe she is jealous?
    Keep reminding yourself of how great you have done with your loss. Tell yourself how great you feel and how much more energy you have. 60 lbs! WOW!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    Don't worry about your family. Who are you doing for. . . Them or yourself? Just keep going forward and keep getting into shape!
    Exactly!
  • batty5
    batty5 Posts: 193
    Families are often like that & perhaps they feel you put them to shame & make them feel they should be making some life changes but currently don't have the courage to do it. You can always play a trick & wait til you have lost the extra weight before using it. We cannot choose our families & sometimes it is good that we live far apart but at least you got a present out of this!
    Some people find it reassuring to have fat friends & family, slim people may seem a threat to them right now so take heart we all know how amazing you are & so does your family & that frightens them a little cos who knows what you will achieve next. You go girl.
  • CFaye
    CFaye Posts: 59
    you know, thats crazy, because my family was the same way. Well, when I was 50 pounds smaller, (due to drugs and alcohol and stress) all they would say is how good i looked, and pretty i was.. and I felt awful, depressed. and ugly. I was living the worst life... and they said i was beautiful.. here it is, i am not abusing my body with drugs, alcohol or stress, and i weigh 50 pounds more. I hear no compliments.. but i am so happy and feel so healthy right now... Its nuts. I am glad i am more confident to know better, that I dont need their approval.... but i am sure they just would love to see your progress.. 60 pound weight loss is a big deal!
    Congrats on your weight loss!... take care.
  • Beleau
    Beleau Posts: 143
    My goodness...that is messed up...this is not about them but about what you want...you are doing fantastic in accomplishing a healthier life style...

    B
  • travelgirl09
    travelgirl09 Posts: 151 Member
    You need to just stay focused on your goal! You are not losing the weight for anyone but yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anybody! The next time they see you they will see the new skinny you. They will then proceed to talk about how they hope you can keep it off, etc. They will watch what you eat, if you workout and everything! Do not let this distract you! Some people are happiest whey they are miserable and they want others to be that way too. It is painful to see that family can be so cruel, but the fact is, this is how they always have been, you have just not noticed it. They can be jealous and petty, but you cannot let that hinder or take away from your great accomplishments! I'm sure you have other family members that will be genuinely happy for you. Focus on them and like everyone here has said, WE, your MFP family will always support you and never judge you! Keep up your great work! :)
  • youngs
    youngs Posts: 250 Member
    I am so sorry that your family of all people are acting like this with you ..they should be as happy as you are about all you have achived and know that you are doing yourself and your family a blessing by knowing that you are making yourself a more healthy person..I belive if I was you I would hook up the webcam and hold up a picture of you before to them and then show them you know and then unplug it pack it up and ship it back with your own kind word to them of how you was hurt by them not beliving in you! I am always here to help and show my support to anyone who needs it..heck I need support and encouragment myself even though I have a wonderful family that are behind me 100%..I would just like to send you a big hug and tell you to keep up the wonderful work that you have been doing and to keep beliving in yourself..You can do this and you are..just remember that it is all about you and you being happy..its not for anyone else...keep on moving and smiling dont let them get you down!
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