How do I tell my family??

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Replies

  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    Congrats on the weight loss. I know how it feels. When I lost 25+ lbs, no one said anything. Only my classmates did, but family and in-laws didn't say a thing, whereas my boyfriend had lost 5 lbs and they would all comment on it. So that was a little strange to me, but I figured it has nothing to do with them, it is not their business, I lose weight for my own health, not for anyone to notice, and once they will comment on it, I know I will not give a damn.
  • KageyKat
    KageyKat Posts: 45
    It took almost 30 pounds before most people noticed on me. It was kind of discouraging but then I would remind myself it was for me not them I was losing weight. Hang in there and keep up the good work.
  • keep2it
    keep2it Posts: 8 Member
    I'm also only 5'3 and started in January too. I've lost 20 lb so far and people have only just started to comment in the last week or so.

    When the first friend commented I said to her "Thank you so much - you're the first person who's noticed". She replied "I actually noticed a week ago but didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how to ask without sounding nosy".

    Sometimes people won't feel comfortable commenting until you wear an outfit that makes it really obvious, which can be hard if you are still wearing your 'starting' clothes. I think people are afraid of accidentally being wrong and insulting someone, so to be safe they don't say anything.

    In the meantime, so that you can see the effect this has had on your health, try picking up 22 lb worth of stuff (big books are good and heavy) and see what that feels like. Because that is how much weight you don't have to carry around any more. Keep going and good luck!
  • sabrinalee8
    sabrinalee8 Posts: 45 Member
    I've never discussed my weight with my family/friends either. I agree though when you hope notice and give good comments about your weight loss, it is disappointing but remember you did it for you, not your family =)
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    Hi, I'm 19 and have been on a diet since January and I've lost 22lbs so far. I didn't tell my family or friends that I was on a diet, just because I find it a little bit awkward (I think because it makes me acknowledge that I was fat to begin with). I returned home from university a few weeks ago, thinking that everyone would comment on how much weight I've lost/that I look really good. But no one has said a thing. It has really really de-motivated me, and I don't see the point on carrying on if I don't even look any different. I know I'm losing the weight for me, and I will be so much healthier and feel a lot better when I reach my target weight, but it has really got me down.
    I want to be able to tell my family/friends that I'm trying to lose weight so hopefully they can support me (and not think it's weird when I turn down dessert!).
    Any advice is very welcome!!

    22lbs is amazing and I am sure you DO look different. Don't feel discouraged about your family not saying anything - there could be many reasons for that and you can never truly know why. It could be that they don't want to acknowledge the loss in case you think they thought you needed to lose some weight in the first place. When I was at college, a friend came back from summer break looking completely different, and I was worried to say "you look great!" because it was like saying he didn't look great before.

    Just let them know how much you have lost, and how much better you feel for doing so. Share with them your healthy eating and exercise tips, maybe they could learn something too. It doesn't need to be an embarrassing or touchy subject, there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight.
  • binglebandit
    binglebandit Posts: 531 Member
    Take pictures every time you lose 10-20lbs and then look at them compared to when you first started. Believe me, you'll see a difference even if no one else does. It can take a while for other people to notice, sometimes even 30-40lbs. That's when I really first started getting comments, and even then 98% of people I see don't mention it at all, probably to be polite.

    I didn't want to tell my family in case I ended up giving up. So I kept it a big secret, no posting on facebook, no changing my profile pictures. It ended up shocking everyone when I saw them looking 50lbs lighter. That said, I told a couple of friends and family that I knew would be supportive and who have already been losing weight themselves. I figured they'd be supportive and understand.

    You don't have to tell anyone unless you really want to and feel comfortable talking to them. I dont' hide that I log my food at the table, if someone asks what I'm doing I explain, otherwise I don't make a big deal about it. I know it could hurt some of my friends/family's feelings if I make too big of a deal about it in front of them, so I just do my thing without rubbing it in their face.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Way to go! That is a big accomplishment especially with you being in school. The food choices on campus are not that good. I make sure I pack healthy snacks before I head to campus.

    It took about 30 lbs for anyone other than my husband to notice my WL. My husband first noticed it in my face and neck. After the first 30 came off people started to ask if I was losing weight. Now that i've gone past my goal people practically squeal when they see me freaking out saying OMG you look GREAT!! Some want to know how I did it etc.

    Buying new clothes is the fun part. First I started just taking in my clothes so they didn't hang on me like sacks. Then it got to the point where I could't take them in anymore. Only so much you can do when its the *kitten* send of your jeans that's hanging on you. Bra's will sag as well and those cups can't be taken in period! Try consignment shops or check out flea markets and yard sales for something to hold you over till you hit your goal weight. Then go bonkers and treat yourself! I was treating myself whenever I hit a small goal like first 10 pounds lost, then the next 10 or 5. Make your rewards fun but don't reward with food. your not a dog. I reward with a haircut or new top, see a movie, go to the park or attend some fun school events in a fancy outfit. Maybe get a friend to do your hair and makeup. :smile:

    Again, good for you!! Keep up the good work! You can do it!
  • ambootcamp
    ambootcamp Posts: 27 Member
    I am sooo proud of you - 20 lbs on someone your height is DEFINITELY noticeable. I would guess people have noticed (unless you are hiding under old baggy clothes) but aren't commenting because they LOVE YOU and don't want you to feel pressured or judged on what you used to weigh. I have two daughters and I try to NEVER comment on their weight because I think women have enough outside pressure to be ridiculously thin. Just keep up the good work and try to be healthy and strong and don't worry about people not commenting - admire your new body in the mirror and document your progress!! We will give you all the kudos you crave!!
  • Amberlynnek
    Amberlynnek Posts: 405 Member
    Don't be discouraged!! Remember you are doing this for you and not for them. One thing I found that when I returned after losing weight is that the people that were around me that needed to lose weight themselves struggled with a bit of jealousy and found it difficult to acknowledge my accomplishments when they couldn't achieve their own. Tell them so they know, screw 'em if they're not supportive!
  • A_Fit_Mom
    A_Fit_Mom Posts: 602 Member
    I know how you feel. Family is usually the last to notice. I have only had coworkers notice.

    I would say just keep going and know that you see the difference. I have mentioned it to a few family members, basically whenever they mention that they are trying to lose weight. I offer my advice and let them know I am doing the same. Then I mention how much I lost and they are shocked. Lol, usually do a double take.


    Family are wary of saying something. They care about your feelings and don't want to offend. That is why they usually wait till it is undeniable that you lost weight.
  • graceire
    graceire Posts: 323 Member
    Congrats on 22 pounds! I agree with a previous poster about being able to do that while in college, very impressive.

    People are just starting to notice that I've lost some weight and asking about it (which is actually annoying to me...but that's another story/post :tongue: ) I've noticed that they only started to mention it when I wore things that actually fit. Up until recently I've been wearing the same clothes as close to 40lbs ago--when I do it doesn't look as if I've actually lost much weight. Could that have been part of it when you were home visiting?

    Keep up the great work, you should be very proud! :flowerforyou:
  • arlenem1974
    arlenem1974 Posts: 437 Member
    Don't worry for some people it takes more then a 20 lbs. lose to make a difference. The first time someone commented on my weight lose. I was at the 30 lbs. mark. I'm only 5'1 by the way.
  • agirlscamaro
    agirlscamaro Posts: 175 Member
    I didn't read all the comments but hopefully someone else has pointed this out. They might not want to comment on your weight out of politeness. I know I personally don't comment on someone's weight unless they have stated they are losing weight or trying to.

    You don't want to comment on how someone look so much better now if they haven't really lost anything.

    Just a thought.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
    Took 5lbs for family to notice
    Took 15 for close friends to notice.

    But I've been losing inches too so...

    Took my neighbors almost IMMEDIATELY to notice
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    :flowerforyou:
    THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYBODY! This was my first every post om MFP, and I'm now feeling really motivated again and have really remembered why I wanted to lose weight in the first place- to be healthy and happy within myself, not for others to comment on.
  • karenertl
    karenertl Posts: 271 Member
    First of all, great job on the weight loss! Don't worry about your family not noticing.They may be in shock from it. It's up to how comfortable you are with telling them you're trying to lose weight and how you think they'd handle it. Keep up the amazing work!

    Feel free to add me as a friend. I am happy to be able to support others in their efforts as well as get all the support I can get.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Took 5lbs for family to notice
    Took 15 for close friends to notice.

    But I've been losing inches too so...

    Took my neighbors almost IMMEDIATELY to notice


    Hahahaha. This gives new meaning to the ongoing quarrel in my house of "what would the neighbors think?", "they don't notice us", "they have their own lives", "we look at them, they must watch us", etc..etc...etc.... So yeah, neighbors. The most supersonic group of acquantainces we have.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    First of all, great job on the weight loss! Don't worry about your family not noticing.They may be in shock from it. It's up to how comfortable you are with telling them you're trying to lose weight and how you think they'd handle it. Keep up the amazing work!

    Feel free to add me as a friend. I am happy to be able to support others in their efforts as well as get all the support I can get.

    This is kind of what I read between the lines too. That they are taking their cue from OP who is not saying anything and out of respect are keeping their mouths shut inferring she isn't ready to talk about it yet. If this is the case I find it an incredibly supportive and disciplined stance, and I'd appreciate it in my circle, so yeah, I think it's all good OP.
  • missystika
    missystika Posts: 1
    Dont let them discourage you just like you thaught it might be weird to tell them they might think the same they love and support you and probally noticed but didnt want to embares or offend yoy however great job on the weight loss
  • ijavagypsy
    ijavagypsy Posts: 109 Member
    Did you ever think that your family is just happy to see you and that they don't really notice the absence or presence of weight?
  • NGFive
    NGFive Posts: 125 Member
    Just lose weight for yourself....you will feel better physically and boost your confidence and self esteem.. it's all ABOUT YOU!:wink:
  • xgirl451
    xgirl451 Posts: 36 Member
    Depending on how overweight you are, it may take more weight comig off before people see that you've lost weight. However, you may start getting comments asking if you've changed your hair or glasses or something else. People will notice a change not just in your appearance but your attitude.

    Don't get discouraged. Also, there is a hesitation about asking if you've lost weight. Its a sensitive topic.
  • BobcatGirl110
    BobcatGirl110 Posts: 364 Member
    to repeat what's been said (....or to verify that it's true) I literally posted a topic in the forums asking that exact question...when do people start to notice.....I've lost 22 and no one can tell but me....I consistently heard 30+ so my theory is do it for you and WHEN they start noticing you are already in an amazing place with your weight loss/fitness journey :) Keep it up!