Why is everyone judged/ashamed of their lapband?

2»

Replies

  • Tamishumate
    Tamishumate Posts: 1,171 Member
    If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. :).
    I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    I don't think anyone has the right to judge. There are many medical and psychological reasons why people struggle to lose weight.

    I would call having this fitted as a last resort and not a quick fix. We all know people who have been on every diet conceivable and yet still have lost no weight. If you've spent most of life trying wouldn't you consider it?

    I have not had one but I can understand why people choose them. Yes there will be "some" that regard it as an easy option but I am certain the absolute overwhelming majority of people have spent their entire life trying and are so desperate they look at this as their last resort.

    I would never judge anyone for any method they choose to lose weight. People will have their own reasons for choosing how to lose the weight and we don't know the reasons behind the "why" so what gives us the right to judge?

    I will support anyone who is committed to losing weight no matter how they choose to achieve it!

    Couldn't agree more :flowerforyou:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member


    I personally dont have a book of reasons why I did it. I did it because I didnt have enough disipline to do it on my own. I now couldnt be happier that I did it.

    this is my whole point. I'm not upset that it worked for you, in fact I'm happy it worked out, but can't you see why the above statement is confusing to some?
  • bellanean
    bellanean Posts: 220


    I personally dont have a book of reasons why I did it. I did it because I didnt have enough disipline to do it on my own. I now couldnt be happier that I did it.

    this is my whole point. I'm not upset that it worked for you, in fact I'm happy it worked out, but can't you see why the above statement is confusing to some?

    To some yea, i understand, which is why i dont tell anyone, i dont really care about their thoughts. I wasnt scared of surgery at all so it seemed like a good idea for me.
  • bellanean
    bellanean Posts: 220
    If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. :).
    I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.

    I use to eat a lot because I was fat and I figured why not, it tasted good and I was already fat and looked gross, why not just eat more.

    I dont know if stress can cause you to not lose weight , but i have tons of that, so that can have something to do with it, but other then that i follow a good diet and work out plenty. I just lose weight slowly. 2 pounds is good for me, with the lap band your only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds. So im right on schdl, some weeks its more, but not consent. Im happy where my weight loss is, but thanks for your concern!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    Can I say, without anyone judging or getting mad, that I get a little offended when people ask me if I had it done. ? I didn't, but I. Am always slightly taken aback when people ask me how I lost so much weight. Proper diet and tons of exercise is how, and proud of it. :).
    This happens to me as well:blushing: I have worked so very hard on getting the weight off, kickin my *kitten* on my workouts and changing my food habits. I am so proud of myself for making the choice to go it without surgery. Yes, the thought went through my mind as a number of ppl around me where going the surgery route. But I felt for me the healthier way would be to do it completely by myself. Please don't feel offended by my words, none is intended, honestly:flowerforyou: :heart:

    I just knew in my heart the right decision for me was changing my habits and for others it's a different route they chose.

    I am proud of doing it the way my heart wanted to, it has worked well for me and I am content with the decision. If/when it ever comes across as anything different from ppl I think part of that might be more ignorance of the procedures than anything. At least with some ppl. Of course I cannot speak for everyone.

    I would have been ashamed of myself has I done it differently than I did, does that mean I'm ashamed of others? NO, it means I had to pick my way and be OK with that and others choose their method. But I still carry ALOT of SHAME on allowing myself to gain this much, so my shame has little to do with others at this point and much to do with me and what I'm working on to rid myself of it.:drinker:

    I can't explain it any better than this but it's what has worked for me. I didn't want anything invasive whether it be surgery of either type done to my body. I wanted a slow process and though it has been far quicker than I ever could have imagined, I'm ok with that and will deal with the end results of it.

    But as Tami shared, I too get asked that question and I think it bothers me because I worked very hard at changes on myself. That is not taking away from those that had surgery, but when I am asked some ppl have various attitudes toward surgery and I don't want to be looked at that way when that was not my way.

    I am proud of my decision as each of us should be. The decision we all have made in whatever form or fashion was to get our bodies healthy and safe by losing the weight and gaining healthy food habits along the way for LIFE.

    That's what I am working on and always will be:flowerforyou:
    Becca:heart:

    Edited to add: Of all the ppl I've known now (RT) that have had the surgeries, I am the only person that has kept the weight off by going the non surgery route. For me that's huge!!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. :).
    I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.
    This is something I also struggle with, if the lapband surgery takes off the same amount each week a nonsurgery person takes off, I'm not sure I understand what the extra is in having the lapband?

    I absolutely AGREE, eating our feelings can have many many emotional issues behind it. By losing weight too quickly I don't feel the issues can be resolved in perhaps the way they need to be. It takes time, sometimes a very long time. To drop the weight and not learn the WHY's of it being gained, it's highly likely it will all be put back on and so much more.

    Finding out WHY I am hungry for something besides food is what I am in the midst of learning, I don't feel I could have had the time to work on this had the weight dropped off so quickly going the surgery route. It wouldn't have been the best way for me is all. I see a therapist currently and am working on body issues and shame issues in regards to my body image for a number of reasons without this extra help, I think all the weight would already be back on. I have much to learn and I have learned much:drinker: :heart: :flowerforyou:

    My thoughts..
    Becca:flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    And you should be proud of your lapband and your success. Yes there is the sad misconception out there about WLS! It is not the easy way out at all!! Check out new thread I start this week. I will post inspirations their daily. You know what you have accomplished so ignore the negative opinions. I do very well at it because I know people do not understand. I don't hold it against them or resent them. They are just igonorant and ususally I do not try to correct them.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/107774-wls-support-and-inspirational-information
  • waguchan
    waguchan Posts: 450 Member
    For me, at least, the lap is the only thing that has worked because it's very difficult to eat so few calories without it. In order to lose weight, I need to eat less than 1000 calories a day without eating my exercise calories. Try doing that without a tool like the lap band to lose weight.

    I followed a medically supervised weight loss program with dietitians, doctors, therapists, and personal trainers for 2 years. I followed their guidelines of eating every few hours and keeping my calorie counts between 1200-1500 calories per day. And I exercised at least an hour everyday. I became very fit, but I didn't lose much weight. After 2 years at that usually very successful program, I only lost 25-30 pounds. After the initial loss, I just maintained for a very long time. And 2 years of working that hard to lose so little weight gets pretty discouraging after a while. It's so easy to gain it back. When you start to see the numbers go back, it is scary and a lot of people give up. But this lap band is a tool I'll have for the rest of my life. I'll have the surgeon and his staff to help me get back on track if my weight starts to go up again.

    And as for safety, I was diagnosed as being insulin resistant and close to being diabetic. My family history has just about every disease in it you can imagine. The risk of complications from lap band surgery are minuscule compared to the risk of dying from obesity related diseases. I'm 42 years old, the bread-earner in the family, and the mother to a beautiful 3 year old girl. I had to do this for my family.

    My weight loss surgeon wants me to eat between 800-1000 calories per day, and that works for me. Eating the calories that MFP recommends to me does not work. I gain or maintain at the calorie counts. But it is very difficult to sustain a diet of less than 1000 calories per day without a tool like the lap band.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    For me, at least, the lap is the only thing that has worked because it's very difficult to eat so few calories without it. In order to lose weight, I need to eat less than 1000 calories a day without eating my exercise calories. Try doing that without a tool like the lap band to lose weight.

    I followed a medically supervised weight loss program with dietitians, doctors, therapists, and personal trainers for 2 years. I followed their guidelines of eating every few hours and keeping my calorie counts between 1200-1500 calories per day. And I exercised at least an hour everyday. I became very fit, but I didn't lose much weight. After 2 years at that usually very successful program, I only lost 25-30 pounds. After the initial loss, I just maintained for a very long time. And 2 years of working that hard to lose so little weight gets pretty discouraging after a while. It's so easy to gain it back. When you start to see the numbers go back, it is scary and a lot of people give up. But this lap band is a tool I'll have for the rest of my life. I'll have the surgeon and his staff to help me get back on track if my weight starts to go up again.

    And as for safety, I was diagnosed as being insulin resistant and close to being diabetic. My family history has just about every disease in it you can imagine. The risk of complications from lap band surgery are minuscule compared to the risk of dying from obesity related diseases. I'm 42 years old, the bread-earner in the family, and the mother to a beautiful 3 year old girl. I had to do this for my family.

    My weight loss surgeon wants me to eat between 800-1000 calories per day, and that works for me. Eating the calories that MFP recommends to me does not work. I gain or maintain at the calorie counts. But it is very difficult to sustain a diet of less than 1000 calories per day without a tool like the lap band.

    what you are saying is you exhausted all other possibilities, and this became a medical necessity in order to prevent serious problems and possible death. this is the one reason I completely understand for doing it. But this isn't why a growing number of people ARE doing it. And again, if someone want's to take those risks, fine, I'm not going to fight with them about it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around why people who have other options choose to do it. This is purely a scientific discussion for me, I like understanding the reasons behind things, I really don't care and don't pass judgement about it. I recognize that people are very polarized on this topic, and I'm kind of right in the middle on it.

    I might do some research on this topic, I'd love to find out some of the other facts on it, like rate of relapse and underlying reasoning of choosing it. Maybe also some numbers on the amount of people who've attributed their weight gain to psychological trauma and if those relapse rates are different from the whole. It's interesting to me.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    [/quote]
    [/quote]
    I might do some research on this topic, I'd love to find out some of the other facts on it, like rate of relapse and underlying reasoning of choosing it. Maybe also some numbers on the amount of people who've attributed their weight gain to psychological trauma and if those relapse rates are different from the whole. It's interesting to me.
    [/quote]
    [/quote]


    There is relapse but the percentanges is not as high as dieting and exercising alone. The stats still show that only 5% of the people keep thier weight off from the regular approach.

    I am not sure on lap band stats, but for Gastric Bypass in 2004 when I had mines these were the stats: 50% gained back 50% of lost weight in 5 years after GP. For me being morbibly obese my entire life and super morbibly obese over half of my life, at 39 years old I was desperate and tired and I had tried everything else and GB was an option for me. I researched it 3 years before doing it.

    I am still morbibly obese and I managed to keep off over 200 pounds thus far. So was it worth it for me. Absolutely. It would have taken me another decade to lose 400 plus pounds on my own. So I had to take a chance that I would not be one of the ones who gained back 50% of my weight. I was headed in that direction and I said I can not go back down this road and I put the brakes on right before I found this site. So I have about 150 more I will lose and even then I will still be overweight but a lot healthier at 200+ vs. 600+
  • khacker1
    khacker1 Posts: 6
    I had my lapband place 11-08, I have had a good result of 1-2 lbs a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I have told some people about my band, but the general public no. I don't feel like I have a huge advantage over anyone else. I still have to watch my caloric intake. I still have to make sure I'm exercising and drinking plenty of water. I am 33 and have had trouble with my weight since I was in my early twenties. I don't think people judge me, but some peole who know think I should be at goal by now. I still have another 50 lbs to loose, but the last 50 is much slower than that first 80lbs. All I have to say is good luck to everyone banded or not. I hope we all reach our goals and gain a healthy life style in return.
  • servingthealiens
    servingthealiens Posts: 144 Member
    I am fortunate that I've never had a lot of issues with my weight. So, admittedly, I'm kind of talking about what I don't know, and would like to get that out of the way first.

    That said, I work(ed) with 2 women who have had bariatric surgery of one flavor or another. One had a gastric bypass, the other has a lap band. I also worked with one woman who is morbidly obese; 5'5" tall, 395 lbs.

    The 2 women who had procedures are both nurses. The one who had the bypass (I'll call her C), used food to cope with raising a special needs son. Her son has bipolar, ADHD, ODD, and a few other challenges. He was institutionalized for a brief time. C used food and alcohol to deal with the pressures he put on the family. She lost 147 lbs after the bypass, BUT continues to live with dumping syndrome, excessive gas, and GI issues. She also had an infection after the surgery that nearly killed her. She does eat healthily now, salads with fat free dressing, whole grains, no fast food. Her diet has really improved, but mostly because she has worse GI problems if she doesn't eat well.

    The woman who had the lap band (She's A), still eats horribly. Culver's burgers, goes out drinking, candy bars, full-fat frozen meals, Chocolate Shop ice cream, and she thinks the lap band is a "blessing". Sure, she's lost about 120 lbs, but she still looks like complete CRAP. She pours herself into tight jeans that do nothing but showcase her booty and saddlebags, t-shirts from the junior's department that make her look pregnant... it's embarassing, really. And her oldest child, her son? He's 13 years old, and while he's tall for his age at about 5' 10", he's fat too, because he eats what his mother eats. He's an athletic boy, but if he eats all his meals from Culvers, KFC, and Pizza Hut with his mom, and that's what she's taught him, he can work out all day, be overweight, and grow up believing he has a genetic predisposition to being heavy.

    L, the obese woman, wants gastric bypass. But I also saw what she ate for lunch. Two frozen meals, yes, TWO, one of which I remember quite clearly: Chicken in Herb Butter Sauce. BUTTER SAUCE. TWO of them.

    I don't judge people just because they've had a weight loss procedure (or want one). But in the cases I've seen, I don't think they were necessary. There are/were things C could have done to help her deal with the pressures of raising a son with behavioral disorders. Also, because of her complications, she almost left 4 children motherless. I'm seriously thinking A didn't even try to change her diet or exercise plan before getting the lap band, because after, she isn't eating any better and has deluded herself into thinking she's skinny. And L? Try eating one portion of healthy food instead of 3 or 4 of butter sauce.

    You can lambast me if you like because as I said, I've never been in that position. But from where I'm sitting, I know THREE people that could have done more to help themselves before resorting to surgery. Is it necessary for some people to have weight loss surgery? Maybe. Is it necessary for most people who get it? I have my doubts.
  • jegeiger
    jegeiger Posts: 11
    I am two and half years post from lapband it was the BEST decision I ever made. I still struggle with losing the weight and it has not been the "EASY WAY OUT" at all. I have still had to watch what I eat and exercise. I agree that we are here to support each and motivate each other and that is exactly what we should be doing, NOT JUDGING. I am proud to say that I have had the lapband and I am also proud to say that it probably helped to save my life, as I was just getting bigger and bigger. My starting weight was 316 and my current weight is 229, so I still have not reached my goal of below 200, but I know that with hard work and determination that I will meet that goal. So I say be proud of your labband!!!


    I also in the end had to give up one of my favorite foods ever BREAD!!! I have not had a hamburger(fast food or homemade) since my surgery. I do not have any GI, or gas issues and do not suffer from dumping syndrome. I do however suffer from indigestion, and some vomiting but that is all b/c I have tried to eat to fast or too much. As to the above post I did try alot of different means befores choosing the lapband, none of which seemed to work for me. As for as "A" your co worker , she did not do anything to help herself if she is still eating all the things that are bad, she is abusing the tool that was given to her in sorts. That is why the lapbanders tend to get a bad name.
  • annecolorgreen
    annecolorgreen Posts: 116 Member
    I had lapband surgery in October 2008 and quickly lost 70+ pounds. I really should lose 20-30 more. I quit losing when I quit writing down what I ate. I continued to eat fairly well and exercise off/on. The fortunate thing is that I didn't GAIN--my band won't let me overeat (or I throw up and I HATE that!). For instance, I just ate some squash and part of a piece of thin crust pizza and I'm stuffed. (It's too hot to cook in the oven so we are improvising with stovetop and microwave) What it DOES allow you to do is consume alcohol and certain high calorie foods (ice cream for instance). I'm starting with MFP to keep track of calories/protein/carbs again and am feeling motivated!! I went out with friends/hubby last night and managed to stay on track!!

    FYI--I have been morbidly obese for several years after giving birth to four kids. I have a herniated disc and have had back surgery. I also have rheumatoid arthritis (and I'm 42). The weight had/has to go!
  • Sherry1979
    Sherry1979 Posts: 457 Member
    I was always skeptical of those types of procedures until a friend of mine had the gastric bypass surgery. I have watched her work just as hard, if not HARDER at losing her weight than I have at mine, probably because she has made such a commitment to it. So now seeing it firsthand, I no longer see it as "an easy way out" but instead as just another tool to help people be successful on their journey. So in other words in my humble opinion, AWESOME JOB to you and anyone else who has the courage and determination to take such a step!!!!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories