"You look bigger" :(

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oX_Vanessa_Xo
oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
in Motivation and Support
Yesterday my sister saw me for the first time in months. I asked her for an HONEST opinion on if it looks like I lost any weight.
And in response she said, " honestly, you look bigger... I didn't even think that was you walking up" After she apologized I assured her im not upset with her because I asked her to be honest. But I'm upset with myself!
Last time she saw me I was 220 lbs and now I'm almost in one-derland. I've even lost inches! But I look bigger !?!?

I've been busting my *kitten* everyday pushing myself even when I wanna give up, and completely changed my eating habits. I was hoping I looked like the effort I have been making. Now I'm just like ugh.... this is going to take soooooooooo long before I or anyone else notices any changes.

/vent
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Replies

  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    She was trying to mess with you. Unless you had on bulky clothes or something, there is no way you look bigger if you've lost inches.

    Anyway, no one seemed to notice my weight loss until I'd lost 30 pounds.
  • katarina236
    katarina236 Posts: 40 Member
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    Do you still wear the same clothes you did when you started out? I have lost about 25 pounds and every now and then need to wear one of my older outfits because I don't have enough money to replace my wardrobe and I still can't fit into all my skinnier clothes. When I wear my older loose outfits I notice I look bigger then I am.
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.
  • FitPhysique
    FitPhysique Posts: 284 Member
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    That's a hard one. I have two sisters and I trust them. So I'd believe them. It depends on your relatiosnhip with your sister and the type of person that she is. I have a coworker who's sister is pretty much the devil incarnate and even if she tells you the sky is blue. You'd have to make sure it is truly blue.

    Don't get discouraged. You'll wake up one day and everyone will notice. For now, you know that your hard work is paying off.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
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    Do you still wear the same clothes you did when you started out? I have lost about 25 pounds and every now and then need to wear one of my older outfits because I don't have enough money to replace my wardrobe and I still can't fit into all my skinnier clothes. When I wear my older loose outfits I notice I look bigger then I am.

    Well I since its nice and hot out now I switched from wearing a swacket (my word for a sweater/jacket lol) to a hoody.
    I figured if anything you would see that I have a collar bone now and not so much pudge around my face.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    I doubt it. Even though she is 5"4 and well over 300lbs. We are pretty close sisters.
    She doesnt really care about her weight.
  • judtod
    judtod Posts: 85
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    Don't worry about what she says. You KNOW you have lost weight and are doing what you need to do to get where you want to be!
  • XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX
    XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX Posts: 274 Member
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    I had to lose almost 30lbs before someone noticed.

    I still have my days when I look big and bloated though.
  • CCusedtodance
    CCusedtodance Posts: 237 Member
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    Don't be discouraged for I have lost 15lbs and hardly anyone has noticed. It may take you 30lbs or more for the compliments to start.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 510 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    I doubt it. Even though she is 5"4 and well over 300lbs. We are pretty close sisters.
    She doesnt really care about her weight.

    Just because she says she doesn't care, doesn't mean its the truth. At my fattest moments, I "wouldn't care" but I might be willing to sabotage someone...It's a terrible thing to admit, but in the back of your head, misery loves company.

    That being said, no one noticed until I lost 28 lbs and I changed the clothes I was wearing.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
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    Maybe you don't realize that since you've lost some weight, you walk taller, and carry shoulders back where they belong. This will give you a bigger appearance when looking head on.

    It's amazing what even a little bit of confidence will do.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    It is always jealousy. Always.
  • terri_journey
    terri_journey Posts: 287 Member
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    I would say it was probably your clothes or jealously. If she weighs over 300lbs and you lose weight Of course she will be jealous, that is just normal. Sorry but it is. My sister can't hardly stand that I wear the same size as her and she is about 40 lbs lighter than me. Don't sweat it. Your on the right track, keep it up. You are worth it!!
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    I doubt it. Even though she is 5"4 and well over 300lbs. We are pretty close sisters.
    She doesnt really care about her weight.

    Just because she says she doesn't care, doesn't mean its the truth. At my fattest moments, I "wouldn't care" but I might be willing to sabotage someone...It's a terrible thing to admit, but in the back of your head, misery loves company.

    That being said, no one noticed until I lost 28 lbs and I changed the clothes I was wearing.

    I just can't change the clothes I wear yet. I feel ridiculously uncomfortable without a big sweater. Ill wear a hoody in the middle of summer no matter how hot it is. I even have had people say I was faking my pregnancy because I wore a hoody in the middle of June. I tried to wear a normal top the other day, I spent the entire walk sucking in as hard as I could and immediately changed when I got home.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I can tell you 100% that you don't look bigger if you have lost weight AND inches. No way.

    I would question the thought process of somebody who's 300 lbs and supposedly doesn't care about their weight. They may not have before, but when they see you losing weight and being successful, it suddenly puts a spotlight on what they aren't doing right themselves.

    Congratulations!
  • taciturnity
    taciturnity Posts: 69 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    This.

    I'm not saying your sister was trying to be mean. At all.

    But weight loss brings out weird things in people. Sometimes people can act that way even when they don't know they are. I've been surprised by some of my friends' reactions.
  • ShyCush6
    ShyCush6 Posts: 951 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    It is always jealousy. Always.

    I'd have to agree.... I can only hope you know how far you have come! You have to feel better about your appearance and know you are doing it!!! Don't ever let others get to you in this way. Know yourself that you are working hard and looking great! You have to believe you are doing great and not ever even question if you are looking better! =) Keep up the good work.
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    you're totally hiding your body and yet you want her to see your weight loss. You changed up to a hoodie, that is not flattering to show the loss.

    You are who you are and you ARE making changes and you KNOW you've lost and will continue to lose.

    I know self confidence is darn hard, but I'd suggest doing a little reading on that also. wearing a normal shirt and feeling like you have to suck it in and run home and change is sad. Truly <<hugs>> you ARE making changes, be proud of that! The heck with everyone else. You need to know You are doing what you can Now. You can't change the past, you can't instantly be 20 pounds lighter. you did this. be proud, and keep up the good work!
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
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    Are you sure it wasn't jealousy talking?

    Even my most supportive friends and family become catty when I mention weight loss.

    I doubt it. Even though she is 5"4 and well over 300lbs. We are pretty close sisters.
    She doesnt really care about her weight.
    I'm sure she loves you but she might be reluctant to recognize your success because then she has to admit her weight is fixable... And she's in denial .. or maybe jealous...
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Okay, does she have a habit of saying things for spite out of jealousy? I have a cousin who does that.

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