What are people's true thoughts of "strong women"?

24

Replies

  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    Although I am not particularly strong or muscular, I am often told I am intimidating. My husband says it is my "business mode."

    I am extremely focused on anything I am doing and tend to give off a "don't approach me" attitude. It usually isn't a problem because I'm not trying to make friends - but if I want to be approachable, I have to focus on being approachable. Otherwise, I seem like I am all business.
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
    I'm 6'1" with a fairly strong looking build. I box.
    The women in my class tend to steer clear of me.
    Lots of the men do too.

    But you know what? I take it as a compliment. I am strong. When I'm boxing, I look strong, powerful, kick *kitten*, and ALIVE. I also look a little wild, and aggressive, sweaty, and maybe a bit crazed.

    Who cares! I FEEL great!

    Yes, I intimidate people (they tell me this :laugh:), but their loss, not mine. The ones who take the time to know me, realize that I am gentle and compassionate and loving too. Those ones are the keepers.

    Dust the rest off, do your workout, and keep going.

    p.s. you do look fantastic

    ^ This.
  • ahappydancer
    ahappydancer Posts: 34 Member
    When I am at the gym, I usually don't get spoken to or speak to anyone unless it's, "Hey, are you finished with that?" or "Can you help me with something real quick?" That woman who cowered from you may have been hit recently-after my boyfriend accidently hit me in the face with his elbow I flinched often for a while.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    This may come across as sexist in some way BUT men have been working out at the gym forever and have learned how to interact. Be considerate, ask if they are done with bench, wipe off your sweat, be polite etc etc. No unncessary eye contact. Most guys at my gym are looking at the mirror while they lift. Women should do that same. If you feel you are 'intimidating', it may be in your head.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
    At my gym, men are "scared" of me.
    How do you know this?
    One women "cowarded" away from and moved away from me during kickboxing class. I was not even that close to hitting/ kicking her.
    How do you know she was moving away out of fear?
    I even told her that I can control my kicks and punches and will NEVER hurt her.
    Maybe your "I'm so strong, but you shouldn't be scared or intimidated of me" aura is what turns people away.
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    So, I'm not one of the superfits at the gym. Until recently I spent most of my time in the hamster wheel room. So one day I'm skulking up to a hamster wheel when this maybe 5'9" guy comes around the corner, and I stopped and almost turned around. His arms were as thick as my thighs and pure muscle. For a moment, just a moment, I was intimidated. I still have no idea what this mini-hulk was doing in the cardio room. On a cut maybe?

    The reason they shy away from you is they are intimidated by you. Be friendly with them. Smile more. Let them know there's nothing to be afraid of.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?

    Then you are a liar!
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?

    No.

    Because sarcasm, that's why.
  • LJSmith1989
    LJSmith1989 Posts: 650
    I love the guys at the gym. Especially when they take their tops off :)
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    I love the guys at the gym. Especially when they take their tops off :)

    I really want to make a bad equal opportunity joke here, but I'm just gonna make the mention that I could have and leave it up to your imagination to fill in the blanks.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?

    Then you are a liar!

    You hurted my feelings. :frown: I do so have muscles. They're just little, still. Give me some time, I'm working on it.
  • alibab36
    alibab36 Posts: 51 Member
    I know in my case i out the headphones in and keep the head down and off i go . I don't usually cast a thought to whoever else is there at all . I have found in the last 3 months or so now that i seemed to be lifting heavier and have more experience that i find people approaching me other women etc for a chat and its usually positive complimenting me on my body etc and wanting to know what i do .

    I have also found that i was the issue i was defensive and standoffish as i really felt like i had to justify myself to be in the weights area . This was in my head as the guys and girls were nothing but supportive but i have relaxed now and find i am having chats with both the men and women on form and weight etc . Last Saturday a man approached me and just pointed out to me in a nice way i was rounding a bit on my dead-lifts . He spent a hour training with me and checking my form on all lifts etc and just basically spotting for me . He was just being friendly and said he loves to see women lift and i was so glad he approached me i have made another friend . I didn't go there to chat and be friendly but i have about 6 people now i regularly chat with about our workouts and i really enjoy it .

    Today there was a incident with another women i had never seen before but most defiantly fitter than me . She was downright ignorant and basically held up the squat rack for a hour with most of that spent chatting elsewhere to a friend . When i asked her if she was finished she basically barked at me and was quite aggressive in tone i slinked off and for the first time in a long time felt intimidated . One of the men turned to me and said it was normal of her and she was just ignorant and ignore and its only to other women as she sees them as a threat . A threat to what i dont know as we are all there to lift end of . So in my experience bar one bad experience from another women i have had nothing but support and encouragement and the other men and women telling how great it is to see a women strong and using the weights section
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    I want to be like you, and do weight lifting and have muscles. However I would probably be one to shy away from you, not because of your muscles but because I am timid at the gym and try to avoid everybody. Some people might be like me and think you're really amazing but might be too shy to say anything at the gym. Also I think when I see someone who has had such great success might be more "in the zone" and I don't want to distract people handling large weights.
  • Troublemonster
    Troublemonster Posts: 223 Member
    I guess we're lucky. My wife gets a lot of attention and looks of awe when she works out with me. It is to the point where when I go without her people stop and ask me where she is.

    People seem to really like watching her do squats, deads, and pull ups especially. I'd say the overall reception to her strength is very positive.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I prefer my women weak, helpless, and wearing impractical shoes.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Is it perhaps that you cannot categorise men into one box where we all think identically and like the exact same body type?
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
    I don't get men. I have read on various forums that some men like "muscular/ strong" women. At my gym, men are "scared" of me. Just because I can lift more than 1/2 the guys at the gym or can actually do real pull ups, dips, etc. does not mean I'm "intimidating" or a "bXXch".

    Most women don't want to talk to me. Those who do actually realize that I'm pretty nice. I just work out hard. One women "cowarded" away from and moved away from me during kickboxing class. I was not even that close to hitting/ kicking her. I even told her that I can control my kicks and punches and will NEVER hurt her.

    I don't think I look intimidating.... I'm 5 feet Size 4 w/ muscular and defined arms and legs. (Abs... another story :(... pregnancies do a number on the abs). I'm pretty "girly" too.. wearing skorts instead of gym shorts etc.

    So when did I become the gym bXXch?

    Because you are awesome and they find that standing near you makes them look bad :)
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?

    Then you are a liar!

    You hurted my feelings. :frown: I do so have muscles. They're just little, still. Give me some time, I'm working on it.

    How long do we have to wait? You have had decades. THEY AREN'T GOING TO GROW
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    I don't get men. I have read on various forums that some men like "muscular/ strong" women. At my gym, men are "scared" of me. Just because I can lift more than 1/2 the guys at the gym or can actually do real pull ups, dips, etc. does not mean I'm "intimidating" or a "bXXch".

    Most women don't want to talk to me. Those who do actually realize that I'm pretty nice. I just work out hard. One women "cowarded" away from and moved away from me during kickboxing class. I was not even that close to hitting/ kicking her. I even told her that I can control my kicks and punches and will NEVER hurt her.

    I don't think I look intimidating.... I'm 5 feet Size 4 w/ muscular and defined arms and legs. (Abs... another story :(... pregnancies do a number on the abs). I'm pretty "girly" too.. wearing skorts instead of gym shorts etc.

    So when did I become the gym bXXch?

    Get a better gym.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE GYMS ARE WHERE PEOPLE STEER *AT* OTHER PEOPLE?

    How do you think other people are living? Do you see complete strangers walk in your gym and start getting high fives for the other lifters? Do you think that there are people that can barely get their workout in because everyone keeps coming up to them and asking for their autograph mid-set?

    It's a gym. Everyone is there to workout. At my gym, I talk to my workout partners and on rare occasions someone right next to me. But usually I'm not making eye contact and other lifters aren't making eye contact with me. It's a friggin gym, not a kegger at some frat house. When people are "steering clear" of me, I don't make assumptions that it's because I'm big, or I'm male, or I'm black, or I'm anygoddamnthing. I assume they are giving me space to work out, just like I'm giving them space to work out. BECAUSE IT'S A GYM.



    *97.5% of the time when I see threads like this, people are waiting for other people to come up and make nice with them. Y u no initiate conversation urself?
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    Don't give a F. Go the the gym to improve on yourself and don't worry about other people. I know it may be easier said than done. But think about it...are you going there to make friends, or to improve your fitness?
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    Why do you think they are scared?

    Maybe they think you are hot and will shoot them down if they try to talk to you?
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Dreya Weber always smiles and love Tony. Be like Dreya:

    tumblr_m6a2bh1INV1r4pbo8o1_250.jpg

    Dont be like Maren

    maren.jpg
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    I prefer my women weak, helpless, and wearing impractical shoes.

    with a bed in the kitchen so she never has to leave? (JK)
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Girls with muscles and strength?! Gross!

    What's next? Women with brains?!

    ruqRq3R.gif

    What if I have both?

    Then you are a liar!

    You hurted my feelings. :frown: I do so have muscles. They're just little, still. Give me some time, I'm working on it.

    How long do we have to wait? You have had decades. THEY AREN'T GOING TO GROW

    Oh, you're goin down now, boy!
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    Although I am not particularly strong or muscular, I am often told I am intimidating. My husband says it is my "business mode."

    I am extremely focused on anything I am doing and tend to give off a "don't approach me" attitude. It usually isn't a problem because I'm not trying to make friends - but if I want to be approachable, I have to focus on being approachable. Otherwise, I seem like I am all business.

    My boyfriend calls it "woman on a mission." I don't multi task well.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE GYMS ARE WHERE PEOPLE STEER *AT* OTHER PEOPLE?

    How do you think other people are living? Do you see complete strangers walk in your gym and start getting high fives for the other lifters? Do you think that there are people that can barely get their workout in because everyone keeps coming up to them and asking for their autograph mid-set?

    It's a gym. Everyone is there to workout. At my gym, I talk to my workout partners and on rare occasions someone right next to me. But usually I'm not making eye contact and other lifters aren't making eye contact with me. It's a friggin gym, not a kegger at some frat house. When people are "steering clear" of me, I don't make assumptions that it's because I'm big, or I'm male, or I'm black, or I'm anygoddamnthing. I assume they are giving me space to work out, just like I'm giving them space to work out. BECAUSE IT'S A GYM.



    *97.5% of the time when I see threads like this, people are waiting for other people to come up and make nice with them. Y u no initiate conversation urself?

    So the guy who insists on hugging me every time I walk in isn't an official greeter? I feel icky. :frown: