You'd be so pretty....if you lost weight.

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Replies

  • missybct
    missybct Posts: 321 Member
    I actually had the opposite problem with my Mum - she would always tell me how good I looked even when I topped the scales at 21 stone and was clearly very very overweight and unhealthy. She has never, ever pressured me to lose weight - not as a child nor as an adult. I had a ED in my teens and I think that comes from that - she's scared I will lapse (I won't, the most unhealthy thing I could possibly do and screwed my eating up for 10+ years). With my friends, a lot of them have said they worry about my health being so big, but not "You need to lose weight" - Frankly, I couldn't care if I look beautiful when I'm slimmer - all I need to know is that I'm healthy in body and in mind.

    My Dad? He was a waster who I cut out of my life a month ago finally. He never complimented me for ANYTHING, but he never said anything particularly negative either. He was just....well he didn't care - at all. I spent the last decade trying to get his approval and then realised the only person who needed to make the effort was him ;)
  • prium01
    prium01 Posts: 306 Member
    I have heard the "You have such a beautiful face, you would be gorgeous if you lost weight" several times.

    I think sometimes people need to hear the truth and when it comes from father or a close person...I think its great! Words could be modified though in case of a sensitive person...It worked for me my parents used to say that I would look pretty if I lost weight and yes I do now..I used to before but did not just want to be a pretty face....
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    Anyone else ever have experience with a line like that? This is something my dad has said to me numerous times over the years, I know he means it as a pseudo compliment/motivation, but that's not how it made me feel at the time.

    Sorry to hear that OP. Don't let an *kitten* like that affect you though.
  • fatjavotte
    fatjavotte Posts: 96 Member
    My Dad said the same thing. It really hurt.
    I lost a lot of weight when I was 20. I'd never seen him so proud of me. I had always had stellar grades at school but it seemed less of an achievement to him than being a size 4. It hurt even more.
    I am nearly 32 and still struggling with eating disorders...
  • StArBeLLa87
    StArBeLLa87 Posts: 1,582 Member
    Yes that's my headline! Not to be just a pretty face!
  • chandy2809
    chandy2809 Posts: 42 Member
    My Ex's Mother - Your lucky becuase your pretty for an overweight girl....urm thanks. At the time i had lost a stone, was trying really hard to lose more but i was waiting for back surgary as i had slipped a disc! she also said a week before my op - you look better more covered up! man cheers!!!
  • projectvanity
    projectvanity Posts: 17
    My father is the type of person who can eat whatever they want, and not gain weight. And several times my father has said to "I wish I could give you my metabolism, I don't need it anymore.'

    Really? Are you that ashamed of me.
  • chandy2809
    chandy2809 Posts: 42 Member
    My father is the type of person who can eat whatever they want, and not gain weight. And several times my father has said to "I wish I could give you my metabolism, I don't need it anymore.'

    Really? Are you that ashamed of me.

    My BF is like that and on holiday said i wish we could swap metabolisms i want to put weight on...jee thanks dude! lucky i love him haha
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    I'm pretty sure that the proper response to anyone who says "You'd be so pretty..." to you is the following:

    "You'd be a whole person if you had a brain!"
  • Lets_Do_It
    Lets_Do_It Posts: 202
    I used to get that line from my dad all the time. He has a big ego and if he is even related to someone with a "Physical feature problem" such as being over weight, he would hurt them until they fixed it. Basically my whole Sophomore year was like a slap in the face to him though because I dyed my hair (which was blond) to black, turned very 'emo' and then was the complete opposite of what he thought was the perfect daughter
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Am I the only one who seems to be noticing that all the people posting on this thread are attractive people? Why would anyone try to slight you? I think it must be pure ignorance on the other's part.

    Besides that, as I told a friend the other day, it's not what's on the outside that matters anyway. Your true beauty comes from what's inside you and how you treat yourself and your fellow beings.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Am I the only one who seems to be noticing that all the people posting on this thread are attractive people? Why would anyone try to slight you? I think it must be pure ignorance on the other's part.

    Besides that, as I told a friend the other day, it's not what's on the outside that matters anyway. Your true beauty comes from what's inside you and how you treat yourself and your fellow beings.

    So ugly people are deserving of slight? ;)
  • BrendaaSue
    BrendaaSue Posts: 2
    I remember my Grandma telling me I looked 4 months pregnant when I was 11 years old. Pretty low blow for me as I already had tons of self esteem issues. But she loved me no matter what size I was. I don't think she really knew how it made me feel...
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    Yup it happens to guys too only without the "Pretty" for years my mother would pat my stomach....and say "you are doing so good now if you could get this tummy off you would be in great shape" I think that is whyy i stayed fat for so long....
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    yup!!!! My mom use to say that to me all the time. I basically told her- I was not on drugs, I was "healthy" and happy leave me alone. I swear I will snap at someone if I heard it now cuz I hear it soo much growing up
  • StArBeLLa87
    StArBeLLa87 Posts: 1,582 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/982638-motivation-for-a-better-tomorrow-introduction
  • LindaLou1397
    LindaLou1397 Posts: 69 Member
    My dad said to my boys one time. You need to eat all your food so you can grow up and be big and fat like your mom. He has been gone for eighteen years and that is still one of my memories of him.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY NOW
  • Jiggle_all_the_way
    Jiggle_all_the_way Posts: 32 Member
    One time someone told me I'd be good looking if I wasn't so tall...
  • artex1024
    artex1024 Posts: 119 Member
    That line has been a theme for me my entire life. Lol I hate it. It's such a backhanded compliment.
  • jeanette60621
    jeanette60621 Posts: 7
    how rude, don't people have ANY manners anymore..?
  • ssarabear
    ssarabear Posts: 14 Member
    I was told this my ENTIRE life from my mother. It's not a compliment, and quite frankly it's RUDE. I had to learn to shut people like that out the older I get. Not easy, but do-able. LOVE YOU. Be nice to yourself! Ignore the rest of the idiots.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    I know I would be much prettier if I lost more weight. Would I be smarter, funnier, have a higher IQ? Nope. But yeah, I'd be prettier for sure. I'm very realistic when it comes to myself. I didn't look pretty when I was morbidly obese.
  • rose_gian
    rose_gian Posts: 43
    Anyone else ever have experience with a line like that? This is something my dad has said to me numerous times over the years, I know he means it as a pseudo compliment/motivation, but that's not how it made me feel at the time.

    When I get pseudo compliments or motivation is brings me down and has the opposite effect. I would tell MY dad to not speak to ME that way anymore.
  • OfficerFuzzy
    OfficerFuzzy Posts: 222 Member
    Not exactly--but my sister did say once, "If you get smaller than me you're going to be more pretty!"
    She didn't mean anything by it, but it's like, I'm already not more pretty than you?
  • anjsdav
    anjsdav Posts: 34 Member
    because that is not how you motivate someone. that only puts them down. wow. i'd probably say something back like "you'd be a lot nicer if you just wouldn't talk." sorry


    Nice one...I wish I was so quick witted :)
  • amandaanderson2786
    amandaanderson2786 Posts: 95 Member
    a family member once told me i better not eat so much or pretty soon i would be shopping at the tent and awning store. i laughed it off and said ya whatever but inside it made me feel bad
  • cheyennekl
    cheyennekl Posts: 90 Member
    My stepdad tells me I have legs like an All Black (New Zealand Rugby team) ... I take it as a compliment, those guys have some muscle going on!!
  • cheyennekl
    cheyennekl Posts: 90 Member
    Not exactly--but my sister did say once, "If you get smaller than me you're going to be more pretty!"
    She didn't mean anything by it, but it's like, I'm already not more pretty than you?

    Oh lol at this! I told my sister that I thought I would be too skinny if I lost 20kgs, she looked me up and down and said "No you wouldn't" I don't think she realised how that would sound ....
  • alehundrah
    alehundrah Posts: 156 Member
    Yes!!! My mom ALWAYS says that too me. I used to get very upset whenever she would tell me that but now whenever she tells me I just ignore her. I know she means well, probably wants to motivate me, so I just ignore the comment and change the topic of conversation

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