Disrespected at work.

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2

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  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
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    If she is not your direct manager, why do you have an occasion to talk to her?

    And if this happened in a meeting with witnesses, take it to HR.

    Well it's a healthcare setting...she's in a different department, but we all work together as a team, if that makes sense.

    I have to work with her as part of my job but she is not my direct supervisor.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    This is illegal in most states, or at least may get her fired.


    OP, document each case, including who witnessed it and talk to your HR rep.

    I record some meetings I am in for note taking purposes. But yes, check with your state laws.
    She mentioned that it is sometimes a private meeting so there might not be witnesses so it is her word against the other person.

    It is fine in almost every case if the other person knows that you are recording. But recording without consent is different.
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
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    Report it to your manager. Request an intervention meeting between the two of you. Include your manager and hers and possibly HR.

    Honestly, if she did this in front of other managers and no one stepped up, it's past the point to contact HR.
  • Getyourshineon
    Getyourshineon Posts: 114
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    Do you have an HR department at work? If so maybe ask a representative from HR to be at the meeting. They should be trained in conflict resolution, and will help keep tempers from running too high. Plus, that means there will be an official record that you've tried to deal graciously with unacceptable behaviour from a co-worker, if it happens again the company can probably reprimand the manager.

    This!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,908 Member
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    Whenever anyone has attempted to yell at me at my job for any reason, I tell them to come back when they can talk to me in a normal tone of voice.

    Then walk away.

    They are usually dumbfounded.

    ^^ Do this.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    So...this individual has done this before-multiple times. I've sat down with her and tried to talk with her reasonably and calmly about it, but it persists.

    She is a higher up/manager at work...but not MY manager. She has lost her temper and literally screamed at me in front of other employees. This morning it happened at our morning meeting in front of all of the other managers at work.

    I've just about had it. I've been nice-spoken with her in private and now I've had it...

    How would you all handle a person like this? I'm meeting with her again tomorrow but am not encouraged about the results of speaking with her in private.
    you have a room full of witnesses.

    complain.
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    Do you have an HR department at work? If so maybe ask a representative from HR to be at the meeting. They should be trained in conflict resolution, and will help keep tempers from running too high. Plus, that means there will be an official record that you've tried to deal graciously with unacceptable behaviour from a co-worker, if it happens again the company can probably reprimand the manager.

    This... at this point it is considered harassment and is illegal in the workplace. Get HR involved and document all encounters as best you can.
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    ^^^^ I am not a proponent of this. Our society has edited too much and this is a bad idea. I assume you have an HR department and they have P & P's in place to take care of how to report. Further, I had a friend sued over recording something without someone elses knowledge so be careful.

    Agreed about the potential danger of this. Some states have laws about recording conversations...

    Talk to your manager if you have the rapport. Otherwise, go to HR and get it documented. If you have an ally from the meeting, that might help...
  • LBNOakland
    LBNOakland Posts: 379 Member
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    Report it to your manager. Request an intervention meeting between the two of you. Include your manager and hers and possibly HR.

    Honestly, if she did this in front of other managers and no one stepped up, it's past the point to contact HR.

    I'm shocked no one else complained. If it is a healthcare setting, surely you have HR available. Whether they intervene correctly or not, once you file the complaint and cite hostile work environment, you should get some response. If not, file an EEOC complaint. That should get some attention.

    Just asking if you can record the conversation may make her more aware of how she is acting. Does she yeall at everybody? Is it the way she communicates? If so, she may need some training!
  • Vickilick
    Vickilick Posts: 81 Member
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    I'm really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I've been in a similar situation myself and know it can feel embarrassing and degrading.

    I know in the UK you can record the conversation as I know someone who did it and then sued the person who was abusive, although most people would rather just resolve the situation.

    I agree with pretty much most of what's been put previously about approaching HR and I'd definitely make your manager aware of the situation.

    I hope this is resolved for you.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Go to HR. There is really no other choice in the workplace, and, unfortunately, if you take any other tact and she reports first, you will be on the defensive.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    If you have tried to talk with the person you can try laying down some law with them and let them know the next step is HR. I had a similar experience and once I pulled them aside and I spelled out in no uncertain terms that they will NOT treat me like that, things improved.
  • Brik66
    Brik66 Posts: 10
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    Lol
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Tell her it must stop or else tomorrow will be Bring Your Knife To Work Day

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha..........
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    If you have tried to talk with the person you can try laying down some law with them and let them know the next step is HR. I had a similar experience and once I pulled them aside and I spelled out in no uncertain terms that they will NOT treat me like that, things improved.

    This, but don't make any empty threats. If you tell her this, and she does it again, take your *kitten* to HR. Most medical offices have at least one HR person within the office, I can't imagine yours is much different. Basically let her know that you are done with her **** and that this will be the last time she does it and gets away with it. I can understand the situation you are in, my MIL has the same situation where the surgery coordinator is a real ***** around the office and bosses people around, but she's not anyone's actual manager. Of course, no one listens to her anyway, so it's a bit different, there lol
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    tumblr_m7a9jsADkQ1rn4jhdo1_500.gif
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Report it to your manager. Request an intervention meeting between the two of you. Include your manager and hers and possibly HR.

    Honestly, if she did this in front of other managers and no one stepped up, it's past the point to contact HR.
    This
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Ex-Lax brownies. Shots fired. Time to fire back.

    Then this... :laugh: Okay, maybe NOT this... But I do think the idea is freaking funny.
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
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    Honestly, do what others have suggested about being professional and diplomatic. Don't do anything rash on your own and talk to HR or a higher superior. It's frustrating to be in that position, but don't sink as low as her!
  • SuZQz173
    SuZQz173 Posts: 37
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    Go immediately to HR & file a complaint. That complaint will likely go through the ranks, so you do not have to do so first.

    File the complaint, in detail. Name names of all present. Keep feelings out of it, just state what happened, what was said, loud tones etc. Name all people present at time of incident, even if they all did nothing.

    It worked for me, there was no denying all that happened, with so many witnesses who did nothing at the time. One investigated, they all must have agreed, because the person was let go.

    It won't always end in termination, like others said, depending on what happened and policy. You'll feel better for standing up for yourself. You may become the office hero for doing something! R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

    Good luck.

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