Hubby still finds me sexy, I don't get it...

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  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
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    I think it's quite common for us to judge ourselves the most harshly, and to hold unrealistic standards of ourselves and our appearances. Sadly, it's understandable with the images thrown at us everyday.

    I agree with the advice here, although I'm such a hypocrite, since I have always thought along the same lines as you ><
  • mtburke2501
    mtburke2501 Posts: 6 Member
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    As a man who is married to a larger woman I can say of course he finds you sexy.
    As a man is see that there are a lot of women in the world who are good looking and sexy.
    As a husband there is only one woman who is worthy of my affection. That woman would be my wife and mother of my child. Sounds like your husband feels the same way.
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
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    THIS IS SO TRUEEEEE. If a person hears something enough, they must start to believe it! Love yourself and love him... enjoy his encouragement!
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
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    I feel that way about anyone who has something nice to say to me, lol! I do NOT know how to take a compliment at all. But it was the cause of my fiance and I to break up, because I could never let him see me completely nude, even after being together over 6 years, out of fear he would find my disguisting (my stomach :( ...even though now I realize he never thought that, just I did.)

    Just listen to the compliments he gives you and embrace them as being true!! We judge ourselves much harder than anyone else ever would!! Rock you short shorts with confidence and he will definitely find you sexy!! :flowerforyou:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    My husband loved my figure no matter how fat or thin I was and I've gone up and down many times. We are lucky to have such men. Some are horrible expecting a perfect in their eyes woman and life isn't like that.. we change when we have children or life throws things at us. They should be loving us for what is inside anyway not just what they see with their eyes.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
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    Hubby should love you through thick and thin.
  • Pamella513
    Pamella513 Posts: 72
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    My husband is the same way......and while I adore him for loving me now matter what, I don't understand it either. That, however, is due to my own self-esteem issues....not because I think he's nuts.

    I grew up being told by my father that I was fat and ugly and stupid. That I'd never find anyone dumb enough to marry me. That I'd never have kids because nobody would ever be dumb enough to have kids with me. And those were the nice things he said to me. Because I heard that for a good 15 years of my life, it diminished any self-esteem I had.

    I have been with my husband since 1992. It has taken me until the last couple of years (and some damn good therapy sessions) for me to stop saying "oh shut up, you're blind" after he'd tell me I'm beautiful. Now I smile and say thank you. I may not get it...but again, that's my self-esteem talking. My husband has never made a negative remark about my size and he never will. He loves me no matter what and that's pretty freakin' awesome.
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
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    When I met my husband, I was a petite little thing, with lots of muscles. My body is just built that way. Over the years, I have gotten quite fat. As long as he has known me, I have also been completely covered in hair due to extreme PCOS.

    No matter what, he has always been attracted to me. I don't get it either.

    I guess that's one of life's little mysteries, and we should be grateful. They see our beauty even when we can't. That's pretty damned special if you ask me. :-)
  • Sandytoes71
    Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
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    Thank u for all of your responses :) I see im not the only one. Dont get me wrong though. I am extremely grateful that hubby thinks this way and I do know that it is my low self-esteem that causes my confusion. Soooooo...I have the shorts on now and im trying to be comfortable with some of my @ss hanging out lol! Hubby likey :)
  • Caleen58
    Caleen58 Posts: 23 Member
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    :tongue:
    So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
    This is a great response. Sometimes the simple things we forget, like ASKING if we don't know. You want to get healthy and get in better shape and that's admirable, but you both LOVE each other. Cound your blessings. And in your pic you look very pretty. You still love him and find him attractive, so you are both good poeple who really know the true meaning of love. I undersand you not believing he could find you sexy, you don't feel it, but don't tell him that - put it in on a positive light and be h Doappy about it. Isn't it funny how the humand mind works? Good luck to you and count your blessings for your husband. Mine is leaving me after 22 years because I have health issues, how bad is that. Anyway, I'm happy for you. Donna
  • katedevall
    katedevall Posts: 240 Member
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    I know what you are saying.
    My boyfriend finds me sexy (we started dating prior to me losing weight, actually) and it just surprises me that hes attracted to me like that when most of the time I feel like a fatso. But I love that he thinks that way about me and helps me make me feel a wholeeeeeee lot better about myself
  • Sandytoes71
    Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
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    :tongue:
    So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
    This is a great response. Sometimes the simple things we forget, like ASKING if we don't know. You want to get healthy and get in better shape and that's admirable, but you both LOVE each other. Cound your blessings. And in your pic you look very pretty. You still love him and find him attractive, so you are both good poeple who really know the true meaning of love. I undersand you not believing he could find you sexy, you don't feel it, but don't tell him that - put it in on a positive light and be h Doappy about it. Isn't it funny how the humand mind works? Good luck to you and count your blessings for your husband. Mine is leaving me after 22 years because I have health issues, how bad is that. Anyway, I'm happy for you. Donna

    We got married almost 24 yrs ago and I was a lot thinner so thats why im having difficulty understanding or accepting it now. But im working on it, hence the shorts lol.

    Im really sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes out to you. I pray all works out for the best for u. God bless!!
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
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    Sexy is about so much more than weight/looks

    ^^^^^^this, a husband should find all of you sexy and it should have nothing to do with looks. He loves you for your heart, and your mind as well. And who you are is all the sexy he needs!
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,688 Member
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    Just accept the fact that you are sexy and get on with it.
  • NicoleMGetsFit
    NicoleMGetsFit Posts: 66 Member
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    My boyfriend of three years has never seen me this small, but saw me at my highest weight (that I know of I think it might have been higher at some point). I think it is all about confidence and self-esteem. Before I hit my highest weight and before last September I was bigger than I am now but I was ok with it, I was happy and confident. My weight and my confidence issues went hand it hand.
    I feel like he is as attracted to me as he was in September... but that things changed at Christmas. During Christmas he would always tell me he loved me and that he still found me sexy but I couldn't feel it- and so didn't act that way.
    I don't think you should be surprised, if you are feeling like you're doing something to help yourself then you are probably in a much better place mentally... which is what I found. When I was in a better place it really influenced various areas around me!
  • Sandytoes71
    Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
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    Just accept the fact that you are sexy and get on with it.

    Yes ma'am :))
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    This is my husband and I don't understand it myself. I am thankful because if only all women had this problem, what a better world we would live in, but I am my own worst critic.
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
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    The only advice I have for you is this: Believe him. Don't question it. Just believe what he says. I made the mistake of not believing my fiancé when he said he still found me attractive with 30 extra pounds. I felt like crap about myself so I thought he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. I allowed myself to pile on 40 MORE pounds. I was just unhappy and unmotivated. At that point I asked him what he thought and he was brutally honest. I realized then that he really did find me attractive with the 30 extra pounds because he would've told me otherwise. I know it's hard. It's tough to see past the way you feel about yourself, but being insecure with your partner can cause a lot of unnecessary issues.

    Sorry this is long! I just learned a VERY valuable lesson (the hard way) and I hope you are able to be free with your husband who clearly loves you. I'm sure seeing you relaxed and confident would mean a lot to him.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    un conditional love
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
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    My fiance is primarily attracted to blondes and starlets.
    Somehow he loves me and finds me sexy and beautiful.

    I'll take it.

    Embrace what he finds sexy in you, show it. He'll find you even sexier.
    The more you embrace it, the sexier you'll be!

    Yeah my boyfriend thinks small, bubbly, blonde, and professional looking women are hot.
    But yet he still finds me hot.

    Sexy is so much more than what you you look like. GO with it and love it. You said yourself he himself is overweight yet you still think he's attractive right?

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