No Support from 'Friends'
MaydayParadeGirl
Posts: 190 Member
So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny. I lost about five pounds before I even started using this site, and when I cut out the soda I felt ten times better about myself. Sure it's only been four days but I can already sleep better at night. It's so heart breaking to have to listen to her go on and on about her weight loss and how she's doing so good knowing that she's really shoving her face with the worst foods imaginable on most days (constantly going out for pizza and stuff) and to have her turn around and try and tease me with soda. I haven't even told her that I'm using this site even though we could have probably helped each other because I'm afraid she's just going to try and discourage me from what I'm doing. It sucks when you dont' have any friends who support what you're doing >.<
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Replies
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I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny.
I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.0 -
This is terrible that your coworkers would do this. Chances are the main girl that is doing it is very insecure about herself and she has to bully you in order to feel good about yourself. Also, she is probably not loosing weight like she says she is she is just doing this so the attention is on her (another classic sign of being insecure). At least you have all the great support on this sight as well as your sister sounds like is a great supporter too.
Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing and when you start slimming down everyone at work/family will notice a difference.0 -
This is terrible that your coworkers would do this. Chances are the main girl that is doing it is very insecure about herself and she has to bully you in order to feel good about yourself. Also, she is probably not loosing weight like she says she is she is just doing this so the attention is on her (another classic sign of being insecure). At least you have all the great support on this sight as well as your sister sounds like is a great supporter too.
Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing and when you start slimming down everyone at work/family will notice a difference.
That's exactly what I think too! Good post!
You will soon be able to call her bluff so don't fret over her stupidity!0 -
I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.
I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.
100% agree. It's borderline harassment. If she doesn't stop after you've told her so, go to HR or supervisor. It sucks, but you're in a work environment, not on the
playground.0 -
It sucks having a colleague like that. You could return that treatment, though:
Let's say she's waving some soda in your face again while you're sticking to water (or she's eating a doughnut while you're feasting on a salad - you get the point).
When she starts teasing you again, saying something to the effect of "oh, just one can of soda (one doughnut) won't hurt you, go on, you know you want to", you can in turn say "No, thank you. You might be losing all that weight with your sodas (doughnuts), but I'm going the healthy route and am trying to avoid unhealthy foods as much as possible. Are YOU healthy?"
This question at the end will put her in a position of having to justify herself. And that's not as easy as it sounds (I dare say it's kinda cruel but she's cruel to you, too). Always try to ask a question at the end that forces her to justify herself. She will hopefully get tired of this real soon and leave you alone, for fear of having to justify herself again and again.
There is one caveat, though: if your colleagues catch you eating something unhealthy, they might make fun of you. That's why you read the "TRYING TO AVOID ... as much as possible" in my suggested reply to your colleague. This will take the wind out of their sail but they will probably still try to pull you up on that one.0 -
I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.
I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.
Right on. Work should be about work. I wonder if the supervisor/manager there is happy that employees are being paid to behave like school children. Be a professional. Stick to your personal support system - family and ACTUAL real friends (and support system here) and leave your coworkers to their own drama. This will get you farther in both your personal and professional pursuits.0 -
It sucks when others know you are trying to be healthy but they seem to make fun of it. At work we had a biggest loser contest and to make sure that no one brought in junk food while the competition was going on, we implemented a rule that said that whoever brought junk food had to pay $5 into the pot. Maybe you can suggest having a biggest loser contest and enforce the no junk food rule.
If this doesn't work, you should talk to HR.0 -
My opinion is that you should go to management or HR and make them aware of this because it's actually harassment. No place that I've every worked at has put up with one employee harassing another, even if it's about their weight. If you company values you as an employee then they will reprimand the ones that are harassing you about your weight. You know you can do this and if you believe that you're doing the best that you can do than that's all that matters.
I believe in you and you can get through this!0 -
just suck it up tell this chick that you are on your way to being super hot and she can go
fly a kite.. I cleaned it up.0 -
Some good suggestions here. I'd add for you to silently tell yourself each time she eats and drinks junk in front of you, "Yep, you're going to be gaining the 10 lbs I'm going to lose!" And just look at her, shake your head, and smile...it will drive her nuts. When she can't get a rise out of you, she might give it up since it's no longer fun.0
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How exactly is she 'teasing you' by drinking soda in front of you?0
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God I just wanna punch her in the face! And then do it again for good measure...
You know how you fix this little problem?
You plan your meals, you know exactly what you are eating when, you plan your exercise and you treat it like an appointment you cant break.
You don't say a word about it at work, you just get on with it.
Then you know what you do?
You use her as your motivation to get lean and fit and show her how its done!
You keep your eyes on the prize hun, do not let this little weasel distract you, and when you allow yourself to be tempted you allow her to think you are a joke.
She is a moron... she isn't your friend, she's actually a horrible person.
Get angry. You are better than this piece of trash and YOU WILL REACH YOUR GOALS.
RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:devil:0 -
this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it
So she says she's losing weight but you can't tell, is that what you meant?
She's clearly extremely insecure. She probably sees you doing what she feels she doesn't have the willpower or ability to do and it's killing her. But instead of jumping on your bandwagon she's trying to bring you down. Not to mention her rallying other people at work to tease you/mess with you. Not only is she not a friend, she's a bully. Report her to HR or someone you trust at work to nip it in the bud.
You have family support, which is awesome. Don't give that b---h the time of day, go out, join a gym or something and find some other people who are on the same journey as you and make them your friends.0 -
Some good suggestions here. I'd add for you to silently tell yourself each time she eats and drinks junk in front of you, "Yep, you're going to be gaining the 10 lbs I'm going to lose!" And just look at her, shake your head, and smile...it will drive her nuts. When she can't get a rise out of you, she might give it up since it's no longer fun.
fabulous!0 -
So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny. I lost about five pounds before I even started using this site, and when I cut out the soda I felt ten times better about myself. Sure it's only been four days but I can already sleep better at night. It's so heart breaking to have to listen to her go on and on about her weight loss and how she's doing so good knowing that she's really shoving her face with the worst foods imaginable on most days (constantly going out for pizza and stuff) and to have her turn around and try and tease me with soda. I haven't even told her that I'm using this site even though we could have probably helped each other because I'm afraid she's just going to try and discourage me from what I'm doing. It sucks when you dont' have any friends who support what you're doing >.<
Your best "revenge" will be the results you achieve from not caving to their juvenile behavior! I work in an office where junk food should be declared a religion. It seems everyone wants to lose weight, but they never make the commitment & stick to it. Anything & everything are reasons to cheat. They're all looking for the quick fix. No one was interested in losing weight with me, but now that they see my results so far they keep asking what I'm doing. I just tell them I'm eating healthy & go about my business. I don't need them as part of my support system. I'm doing this for me & don't care what others may think.
Good luck to you! :drinker:0 -
Ah you guys are all awesome, ignoring that one person who didn't get it obviously, and I'm sorry I didn't respond back to this all earlier. I'm going to keep in mind talking to HR, but sort of on a back burner because I do worry since I'm only a temp at my job and she's been here a while that they might play favorites. Since I started my diet, which was before I started on here, I managed to lose seven pounds and I'm already feeling better about myself. She can say whatever she wants and I'm going to definatly take some of this into consideration!0
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Just ignore her. She's probably just trying to put you down because she feels bad that she doesn't eat cleanly. Don't worry about anyone else - you know that you're making healthy choices.0
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Office games/politics - they drive me crazy!!
Stay strong and keep up the good work - and you'll contnue to lose weight -- that's the best solution to this problem. Personally, I wouldn't get HR involved - it could backfire on you. Drinking soda in front of you is childish - but I don't think it qualifies as harassment. Buy a new outfit and show it off at work, telling people you lost so much weight you had to buy something in a smaller size! Maybe your co-worker would like one of your old outfits that's too big for you now.
Keep coming here for support. The devil with your co-worker. :flowerforyou:0 -
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt...
Say nothing..literally to this person....keep it professional but if she says ANYTHING about the diet a polite I am not talking about my personal stuff..should shut her down. I have been through this at work..its tough but do this for you and don't look for support from people who clearly have issues they need to handle. you are taking care of you and should be proud!0 -
It sucks when others know you are trying to be healthy but they seem to make fun of it. At work we had a biggest loser contest and to make sure that no one brought in junk food while the competition was going on, we implemented a rule that said that whoever brought junk food had to pay $5 into the pot. Maybe you can suggest having a biggest loser contest and enforce the no junk food rule.
If this doesn't work, you should talk to HR.
We have contests like that all the time at work....i LOVE that rule! Totally going to copy that next time.
Oh, and OP....just try your best to ignore them. In the end you will have the last laugh!0 -
I don't know if anyone's already said this..... but just give her a smack. Should sort things out nicely!0
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My co-workers never listen to me. I have told them almost on a daily basis I have made a lifestyle change and they still try their hardest daily to sabotage me. It is exhausting!0
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Keep working hard and try to ignore her. If she gets too out of hand, report her to your supervisor.
If you need any more MFP friends to help support you, feel free to add me!
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I recently learned the hard way that "work friends" are not real friends. Don't count on them for anything outside professional responsibilities. I definitely agree with other posters that she is jealous. You have the desire, motivation, and fortitude to make a positive change. She does not and she is jealous. Period. Every time she flaunts her bad eating in front of you, think about what it will be like flaunting you new body in front of her when you reach your goals!0
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Next time she's teasing you with that Diet Coke, grab the can and toss it in the trash. She'll get huffy about it, so tell her to suck it up and deal since what did she expect to happen with teasing you. Other option is come out and tell her to knock that shizzle off because it's annoying as fudge.0
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Bring a rice cake to work with you. When she comes to you next as you described pull out the rice cake and say, "Oh! You reminded me. I brought this for you! I noticed you look like you put on a few pounds and I thought this may help."0
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Maybe she's trying to sabotage you. Maybe she's being insecure because she sees you doing it healthier. Maybe she's lying, maybe she's not. We'll never know. Anything we say is speculation.
Just know, that you're doing great. You can only measure your weight loss success by your OWN accomplishments - not through comparisons with others.
And the evil side of me says you should start fighting fire with fire. Start dropping off cookies, brownies, soda, etc at her desk. Say, oh I don't really eat this stuff anymore - but YOU seem to eat this junk all the time! Start seeing how awesome her progress is after that.... heh heh heh
(BTW. You shouldn't have to give up ALL sweets! Moderation is a good thing! Check out Sarauk2sf's story!! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/903628-one-year-of-barbells-and-ice-cream-my-story-so-far-pics )0 -
So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny. I lost about five pounds before I even started using this site, and when I cut out the soda I felt ten times better about myself. Sure it's only been four days but I can already sleep better at night. It's so heart breaking to have to listen to her go on and on about her weight loss and how she's doing so good knowing that she's really shoving her face with the worst foods imaginable on most days (constantly going out for pizza and stuff) and to have her turn around and try and tease me with soda. I haven't even told her that I'm using this site even though we could have probably helped each other because I'm afraid she's just going to try and discourage me from what I'm doing. It sucks when you dont' have any friends who support what you're doing >.<
In the long run she is doing damage to herself, she may not notice the effects now but the unhealthy eating will catch up!
Stay true to yourself, do what YOU wanna do, stick to YOUR plans, and never give up.
Because at the end of the day you will win for eating healthy, not just with weight loss and fat loss but with long term health and energy benefits, as you said you already cut out the soda and you sleep better at night! See? Proof that its better without!
I have a friend who eats nothing but chocolate bars, chocolate sandwiches and a cookie every lunch time whilst I sit there with my home made chicken and avacado salads (sometimes with bacon mmm). I used to envy her (shes so SLIM!) but now I pity her, the fact that she eats such boring plastic foods that are all sugary and taste the same-blech. Nah I get my beautiful, juicy, flavourful meats and veggies!
The grass is not always greener on the other side
Stay strong and keep going! Stay true to you!0 -
How exactly is she 'teasing you' by drinking soda in front of you?
Sometimes I feel teased when someone is drinking a Big Gulp and they flick soda at me through their straw. Flickflickflick0 -
wow. this girl sounds SUPER worthless.
im pretty sure this is bullying and harassing
and yes you should just "rise above"
but if it were me, id pull her aside and let her know youre THISCLOSE to filing harassment papers on her, and taking her back down to the gutter where she belongs, so she better back the **** off. and then have a sip of your soda. and always make eye contact with this woman. ALWAYS. dont give away your power.0
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