How to Handle Unwanted Attention

HappyNinjaStar
HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
in Chit-Chat
When I was in my early 20's I didn't seem to have a problem deflecting unwanted attention. However, these days I seem to be at a loss.

I've recently started getting a fair amount of attention. And I admit after 5 or so years of next to no attention, it's an ego boost. However, there is still that line that can be crossed where it becomes inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I try to be gracious, I'll always say thank you to well intentioned compliments. But what do I do when the comments are rude (for example cat-calling, or some kind of vulgar reference/remark), or the person invades my personal space?

I'm not being flirtatious, or doing anything in my opinion to attract this attention. I dress modestly, I don't go out to bars/clubs. I'm nice to everyone, but I'm not going to start being me to every male that comes within 3 feet of me.

My first reaction is to ignore/walk away. But this hasn't been working well for me lately. My next reaction is to nicely say that I appreciate the 'compliment', but you're making me uncomfortable. I'm a married woman and I can't have other men advancing on me. Again, this is not working very well for me. Should I just be a b!tch? Are there other strategies that I could use? Any help would be great!
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Replies

  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    So...ummm...how YOU doing?
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I start looking for the women holding more than singles myself....
  • ThoseLittleCats
    ThoseLittleCats Posts: 180
    gimme yo numba ;)
  • PriceK01
    PriceK01 Posts: 834 Member
    Ignore it, if it's coming from a distance. If they are in your face, just cut them off with, "No, no, and no," then walk away.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Took me about five minutes to notice her face...but perhaps this will turn away those that are being persistent.

    rssg1c.jpg
  • SaebraSpirit
    SaebraSpirit Posts: 150 Member
    Yes I hate this too especially when you get hooted at or shouts and whistles, they are the worst.
    It just makes me want to hide like a turtle.
    It scares me a bit :(
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    Yes, if they don't get the point then be a bit#ch. Some guys like that tho so be prepared as then you are a challenge. If they are in your personal space push them out of it cuz that's jacked up. Anyway, I'm really violent so I probably shouldn't be giving you advice on this. :devil:
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    *wolf whistle*
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    :huh:
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I have the same problem I don't know what it is, but I am almost constantly attracting the unwanted attention of men. I go to the gym, I stop at the bar for a drink then I go home. I have a pocket full of numbers it feels like.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Took me about five minutes to notice her face...but perhaps this will turn away those that are being persistent.

    rssg1c.jpg

    This just reminded me of this...

    jamie.jpg

    Carry on...
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Look at this lol

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    I have the same problem I don't know what it is, but I am almost constantly attracting the unwanted attention of men. I go to the gym, I stop at the bar for a drink then I go home. I have a pocket full of numbers it feels like.

    Is that a pocket full of numbers or are you just happy to see me?
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I have the same problem I don't know what it is, but I am almost constantly attracting the unwanted attention of men. I go to the gym, I stop at the bar for a drink then I go home. I have a pocket full of numbers it feels like.

    I've only had that problem in Austin TX. I thought it was pretty cool actually, so I don't know why I'm posting that here. I knew my hair was awesome that night and my wardrobe was tight...
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Honestly, to anyone stepping that far out of line, go ahead and be a *****. Certain brands of men prey on weak women...if you aren't strong in that regard, it's likely a good time to develop that trait. For the rest it's a judgement call on how to let them down easy.

    I didn't receive attention for many years either (was dramatically underweight). I like to clown with people and have fun and I'm pretty social for a nerd, so now that I'm not quite as hideous I get the occasional pass directed my way. I'm still learning how to deal and what my boundaries are. I'm always shocked when someone is *actually* interested and not just teasing with me.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Believe it or not (gasp), yes I do receive unwanted attention from females! This attention would be appreciated if I were single, but every time I'm in a relationship and go out to eat somewhere, or go to somewhere with other people (yes literally almost every single time I go out), I receive this unwanted - or at least a bit annoying - attention from females.

    A few weeks ago I went out to eat with a very beautiful female friend, just friends, and suddenly out of nowhere the female server behind the counter is, how shall I say, a bit too "extra" smiley and friendly with me.

    The time before that, the same thing happened with the same friend in a different place.

    And before that, while I was in my last relationship I would get hit on by other girls literally while I was holding my girlfriend's hand at a restaurant or just out places where there are people.

    (For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

    I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).


    So ladies... what's the freakin deal! Is it really so simple as the "want what you cant have" mentality, or is there something more to it? Literally every time I am out with an attractive girl, girlfriend or just friend, I get hit on blatantly in front of her by other girls.


    Care to explain!?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Make more threads about it.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    I have the same problem I don't know what it is, but I am almost constantly attracting the unwanted attention of men. I go to the gym, I stop at the bar for a drink then I go home. I have a pocket full of numbers it feels like.

    I've only had that problem in Austin TX. I thought it was pretty cool actually, so I don't know why I'm posting that here. I knew my hair was awesome that night and my wardrobe was tight...

    You did look quiet dashing:

    143037d1254279193-mullet-faux-hawk-thread-mullet.jpg
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Where do you live?
    I get NO attention.
    I need to move.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Where do you live?
    I get NO attention.
    I need to move.

    Ditto kickrocks.gif
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Make more threads about it.
    THrENxx.gif
  • chkn_WANG_Train
    chkn_WANG_Train Posts: 143
    yes just be a *****, if they are too dull to get the message when you give it politely you get to be a *****. I've lived in places where if you didn't decline with stern lines then it wasn't really a decline.... sometimes ehhhhhhhhhh. Otherwise I just act like I can't even hear it and that works fine, I don't like being a *****. but I can get real good at it haha. good luck sista.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    (For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

    I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).

    Care to explain!?

    She wants the tip.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I likes all the attention. LOOK AT ME!!!!!
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    Where do you live?
    I get NO attention.
    I need to move.

    Ditto kickrocks.gif

    Both of you are Nuckin Futs.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    (For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

    I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).

    Care to explain!?

    She wants the tip.

    What if all you have is a tip?
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Perhaps cut down on this type of warmup at gym?


    196mx1.gif
  • VoodooLuLu
    VoodooLuLu Posts: 636 Member
    2 guys were yelling rude remarks at me across the road, so I just kept walking and on my way back ,I walked passed them again but on their side of the road. Again they were loudly making rude remarks to me, I looked at them raised my eyebrow and shook my head laughing n kept walking...Men like these are jokes, my husband busts his *kitten* off so, many men work their *kitten* off to provide for their family, then you have these dumbass jokers that think they are allllllllllllllllllllllll that hanging in front of Rite-Aid or where ever else during the day every single day... They should know they are just making a fool of themselves....

    Now if someone just in a normal tone to me says that I look nice or whatever, i'll say like thanks i'll still raise my eyebrow though that's just a thing I do....
  • filmlova
    filmlova Posts: 2
    If it's something that makes you uncomfortable say something to make them equally uncomfortable: Get thee hence Satan! They'll think you're super religious and leave you alone!
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
    Believe it or not (gasp), yes I do receive unwanted attention from females! This attention would be appreciated if I were single, but every time I'm in a relationship and go out to eat somewhere, or go to somewhere with other people (yes literally almost every single time I go out), I receive this unwanted - or at least a bit annoying - attention from females.

    A few weeks ago I went out to eat with a very beautiful female friend, just friends, and suddenly out of nowhere the female server behind the counter is, how shall I say, a bit too "extra" smiley and friendly with me.

    The time before that, the same thing happened with the same friend in a different place.

    And before that, while I was in my last relationship I would get hit on by other girls literally while I was holding my girlfriend's hand at a restaurant or just out places where there are people.

    (For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

    I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).


    So ladies... what's the freakin deal! Is it really so simple as the "want what you cant have" mentality, or is there something more to it? Literally every time I am out with an attractive girl, girlfriend or just friend, I get hit on blatantly in front of her by other girls.


    Care to explain!?

    My take on that is that a lot of girls are insecure with themselves so they feel that if they manage to get the attention of a man who is with another pretty girl, that they must be equally or more attractive than the other girl. I call them attention seekers that need to find some self worth.

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