I am jealous of my bff losing so much weight

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  • ibfat4ever
    ibfat4ever Posts: 5
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    Thank you all for your replies!
  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
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    I am in a similar situation. One of my friends has always kind of struggled with eating issues, but recently she started losing SO much weight. I know she's NOT doing it healthfully (she basically does not eat anymore), but I still can't help but feel kind of jealous in some ways.

    Just remind yourself that she actually probably needs a friend now more than ever. Maybe losing weight is the best thing she has in her life right now so she feels like she has to show it off to make up for the fact that she might not have much else going for her? Regardless of the reason, what she's doing isn't healthy and as her friend, you should try to empathize and be there for her.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    CHILL OUT.
    Someone eating 800 calories a day WILL NOT keep the weight off for a long time.
    This is a marathon not a sprint. Eat sensibly, exercise moderately, and make changes you can keep up forever.

    Although I would probably feel the same as you OP, ^^^ is great advice.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    If you're MFP friends, won't she see this? Regardless, if you really were as close as you implied, maybe it's time to sit down and have a talk. Find ways to motivate one another in a HEALTHY manner? And if nothing else, just getting it out there might make you feel better and at least let her know it's on your mind.
  • tootchute
    tootchute Posts: 392 Member
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    If she is your bff then she should know how you feel, I know she excited to loose weight but she is eating to low. 800 calories is maybe breakfast and lunch combine to some people, it's not healthy and you should tell her. She is going to have her body thinking she is starving herself and store the food as fat to keep her alive.
  • RockyTangs
    RockyTangs Posts: 4
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    Friends and weight loss are always tricky...lots of people seem to face this issue. For myself, I watched my heavy friend lose an incredible amout of weight eating a bit less and doing Body Pump weight classes at the gym. We did the same routine for months, leading up to my marriage. She lost so much weight she was unrecognizable, while barely lost and had to resort to starving myself into my wedding dress...not good.

    After I had a baby a few years back my weight never returned to normal and I couldn`t find the path to weightloss that worked for my schedule and personal situation. I ended up hiring a personal trainer to help me with exercise since i was continually injuring myself on my own. In the end, my trainer coached me into a new way to looking at eating and working out and what i learned was that I required a VERY different path to healthy weightloss and maintenance than my BFF did.

    For her, cardio, some weights and a 1200 calorie diet worked well.
    For me, mostly weights or weighted cardio and a diet consisting of mostly fats and proteins does the trick. I am smaller than ive ever been simply by learning what my body needed to live optimally.
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I think you might start by changing your username. If you stick to this you will not be fat forever. A change in mindset will go a long way.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    why do you call yourself "ibfat4eva"... is that what you want to be? change your username to something more positive that reflects where you want to be, like 2bslim4eva or something
  • ddky
    ddky Posts: 381 Member
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    Although you do need to work on controlling those binges, just stay the course. I suspect in a year, she will be fat again and you will be looking fabulous.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    You know she's going to see this, right? Ahh. I see you you posted this from a different account. Someone is always going to be losing faster than you. Just stick to the plan, and you'll be okay.


    ___
  • Kpablo
    Kpablo Posts: 355 Member
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    Do not bash your friend, and PP's should not bash your friend either. Whatever is working for her is great.

    Your body is different. It's nothing to get upset about. It's just different.

    I have been working my *kitten* off just like you and have lost 0 pounds in a month. I broke down in tears in front of my trainer yesterday. And that's what he told me "Every BODY reacts differently."

    Just because she is losing faster doesn't mean you're not working just as hard. Control your binges, control your cravings.

    Do the best YOU can do, and do not worry about her success. If it bothers you to the point of losing motivation, I urge you to take her off your MyFitnessPal and explain to her why. If she is a true friend, she'll understand.

    You're doing GOOD!!!

    (EDITED FOR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS)
  • agataarchangel
    agataarchangel Posts: 292 Member
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    CHILL OUT.
    Someone eating 800 calories a day WILL NOT keep the weight off for a long time.
    This is a marathon not a sprint. Eat sensibly, exercise moderately, and make changes you can keep up forever.

    DING DING DING!

    Couldn't agree more. From what you say, she's not achieving her goals in the best/healthiest way possible, so though she's getting quicker results, it doesn't sound sustainable.

    Keep logging and exercising, and you're sure to see results soon. Is your diary open? Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your goals and/or eating style/food types/frequency to get better results that will work for you?
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    This is my advice... first hide her from your newsfeed if you don't like seeing the photos. She will never know and if she really is posting that many pictures then you probably aren't the first person to do so.

    When you do hang out together if she talks about food or calories a lot CHANGE THE SUBJECT... tell her you already spend plenty of time counting calories and you want to talk about something else. Sometimes friends obsess over things and you need to tell them to knock it off - I've done it to my friends and they've done it to me.

    If you feel that she is now criticizing others for being overweight you should remind her how easy it is to get there - after all she knows personally right? I will agree with you there - nothing annoys me more than someone who loses a bit of weight and thinks that makes them gods gift to everyone.

    Don't let her weight lost diminish yours - 9 lbs in a few months is pretty good imo.
  • Springfield_Rocks
    Springfield_Rocks Posts: 289
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    You are jealous of your friend, that is your problem. I have a feeling you just wanted to post your friends diet to get the reactions you wanted, which seems to be having people tell you that your friend will fail and you will be better than her one day. Sounds like you have a problem focusing on yourself. She lost weight and has every right to be proud and nobody knows for sure that she will gain everything back. If she slowly increases her calories she might not gain anything back but I don't see why that would be your business.

    QFT, harsh advice, but true.
  • ThoseLittleCats
    ThoseLittleCats Posts: 180
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    ur friend iz on tha right track. im thinkin of doing 700 cals a day, an 2 hour work out everyday. idk tho, 2 hourz is a lot =/ i already do 90
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    You are jealous of your friend, that is your problem. I have a feeling you just wanted to post your friends diet to get the reactions you wanted, which seems to be having people tell you that your friend will fail and you will be better than her one day. Sounds like you have a problem focusing on yourself. She lost weight and has every right to be proud and nobody knows for sure that she will gain everything back. If she slowly increases her calories she might not gain anything back but I don't see why that would be your business.

    QFT, harsh advice, but true.

    Yep. Very true.
  • krhn
    krhn Posts: 781 Member
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    Weight loss isn't a competition, it's for yourself...
    You need to change your mindset from being jealous to being more motivated and stick at what your doing, little by little it will drop
  • jadelunar
    jadelunar Posts: 31 Member
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    I can relate. My friend was recently diagnosed as gluten intolerant. Apparently she gets really sick whenever she goes back on it. As a result, she has lost a huge amount of weight. What bothers me is that she actually complains about the fact that her clothes don't fit her anymore (they're all too big), and even her bikini is too big on her! She also doesn't have much of an appetite and complains about this daily. I wish I had those "problems."

    I think some people can be so self-centered that they don't realize how they're affecting those around them. I just try to ignore what she says and focus on my own goals and my own successes.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I can relate. My friend was recently diagnosed as gluten intolerant. Apparently she gets really sick whenever she goes back on it. As a result, she has lost a huge amount of weight. What bothers me is that she actually complains about the fact that her clothes don't fit her anymore (they're all too big), and even her bikini is too big on her! She also doesn't have much of an appetite and complains about this daily. I wish I had those "problems."

    I think some people can be so self-centered that they don't realize how they're affecting those around them. I just try to ignore what she says and focus on my own goals and my own successes.



    :noway: problems? she's unable to eat some things because it will make her sick & you wish you had her 'problems'? she has no appetite most likely being scared she will get sick from eating something that will make her sick & you wish you had her 'problems'?

    And you think perhaps SHE is the self centered one?:huh:
  • Ladyinwaiting4
    Ladyinwaiting4 Posts: 202 Member
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    this!
    Your friend is in for a rude awakening. She wont keep it off. You just keep on doing it the right way. You will be thin and healthy and . she will start getting heavier and heavier.

    I did the same thing your friend did years ago....gained it all back and THEN some. This time it has taken me 11 months to lose 50 pounds and it AIN'T coming back.

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