I am jealous of my bff losing so much weight

I can relate. My friend was recently diagnosed as gluten intolerant. Apparently she gets really sick whenever she goes back on it. As a result, she has lost a huge amount of weight. What bothers me is that she actually complains about the fact that her clothes don't fit her anymore (they're all too big), and even her bikini is too big on her! She also doesn't have much of an appetite and complains about this daily. I wish I had those "problems."

I think some people can be so self-centered that they don't realize how they're affecting those around them. I just try to ignore what she says and focus on my own goals and my own successes.

Your friend has a problem that is causing her to lose weight and result in nutritional deficiencies (as gluten intolerance leads to difficulties absorbing nutrients). She's being forced to deal with ill-fitting clothes because her body is rebelling against her. She is sick. She has a condition.

You are creating a feeling of competition ("I just try to focus on my own goals and my own successes") and are twisting what you see is happening based on your own insecurities. For example, you said you focus on your "own successes," as if her losing weight because of a medical condition is a success. I hope you realize that is a very warped way of thinking about someone, particularly when it's a "friend."

Like the OP, I hope you both take a second to empathize with the people around you, instead of projecting your insecurities onto them.

It's a sad state of affairs when someone wishes they had other people's problems (with the rather dismissive use of quotes around "problems'). I had a (former) friend once wish they had "my problems with attention" when I was being stalked and sexually harassed by someone. That is a real slap in the face to someone going through their struggles. It sounds like your friend talks about this stuff with you because you're friends. She probably wants to talk about the issues she's dealing with, but you're projecting your own egocentricity onto her.

Again: learn to empathize. It'll be good for both you and her.

Good god. 800 a day is just sad and nothing to be jealous about. Good for you for doing it the healthy more sustainable way.

Right?! This is just pathetic. I feel sorry for your friend, because she has not learned how to eat...seems she's of the mindset eat too much or too little.

Don't lose a good friendship over her being excited about her progress. It is hard, but be happy for her. Know that, if you stick with it, you will get there too, it is just taking longer. If you give up you will never get there.

CHILL OUT.
Someone eating 800 calories a day WILL NOT keep the weight off for a long time.
This is a marathon not a sprint. Eat sensibly, exercise moderately, and make changes you can keep up forever.

This. Absolutely.

I feel your pain! I have an aquaintance that has always been bigger than me by almost 100#'s well last March she had gastric bypass surgery and lost almost 100#s over the next 6 months or so. At the time I was kind of jealous she looked good and was smaller than me without ANY work.

Well it's a year later and now she is actually gaining weight back. WTF? Oh that's right the burger king, mcdonald's, pizza hut, and fries with mayo daily are putting the weight back on because she was so concerned with getting it off she never paid attention as to how to keep it off. I have had a 9# loss just as you and it sucks not losing like others but you are doing it the right way to keep it off for life.

Don't give up! You deserve and need this don't let someone's else's "magical fix" get you off your path you will regret it in the end.

Please don't let it get to you, losing weight is a hard thing to do and it can be especially difficult when someone close to you is doing what you want to do. Jealousy in cases like this is a natural emotion, but it is important that you don't let it control you or affect your friendship which I am guessing is otherwise a very close one? If this girl is good friend in every other way, try to not let it get to you as a friendship isn't worth being in jeopardy over what you weigh. Is your friend supportive of you with your weight loss? If so, you could maybe talk to her about how you feel about your weight (obviously not mentioning the jealousy, etc lol) and maybe you could help each other out and support each other? Even if you haven't lost as much as your friend, you have still lost 9 pounds which is still great, that's over half a stone and definitely a noticeable difference.

Perhaps what is getting you isn't so much that your friend as lost weight, but fact she is going about it in a manner which isn't known to be the most sensible and sustainable, and you are feeling a little aggrieved that she is succeeding when you are doing it the supposed 'sensible' way? That is understandable, but don't let it make you bitter as both two different people and regardless of whether or not it works for her in the long term. Focus on the way YOU are doing it, even if it does seem a little unfair.

I can totally identify with your frustrations about her talking constantly about weight loss and calories, I have a friend who has recently lost a lot of weight and I am genuinely happy for her and she does look fantastic since she has lost weight, however her conversations these days mainly centre on calories, what she has ate or not ate, that day. However I know she is just proud of herself and what she has achieved, and doesn't realise she is doing it so I usually bite my tongue and try to divert the conversation off the topic. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. I think some people just get a bit carried away when they lose weight that it becomes all consuming, so it's all they ever think and talk about as it's the biggest thing going on in their life.

You have successfully lost 9 pounds so you have done well. You and your friend are two different people, and if she is a good friend, don't let it get in the way of that. She has just got a little carried away with herself because of what she has achieved. You can achieve that too and 9 pounds is a good start, so find a way which is good for you and go for it! You CAN do it! Find a way which suits YOU best, and follow that. Let your friend follow her diet if she wants, regardless of outcome. Personally I think your friends diet sounds like one of these quick fix faddy diets which isn't sustainable, however it's her body and her choice. Whether she sustains it or not is irrelevant. Even though you are feeling pangs of jealousy, your weight loss is your own achievement no matter how little or more you weigh than your friend.

x

Are you sure you two are in your 40's?

I agree too fast of a loss and it comes right back

Far be it for me to add anything to this since its been a few weeks since you posted the topic buuuut... I thought I might say a few things.

1) Eating only 800 calories a day? Why lose weight when all you're losing it for is an uncomfortable lifestyle? Imagine... to maintain that at her rate, she's going to have to maintain that calorie intake! For -- well, as far as I can imagine -- forever! Not the best way to enjoy life, in my opinion.

2) I use to be in really great shape. When I was, I ate what I wanted to within the standard boundaries. Three meals a day with snacks (if I felt like it). I didn't eat amazingly healthy, but nor did I eat poorly either. I just ate a variety.

More importantly, back then I worked for what I ate. This is to say that I was working out and burning a lot of calories, and in turn that allowed me to eat what I felt like!

If you want to eat, and eat well, you might think about this phrase: Good rewards for Good work.

"The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself..."