A bit of a rant... and maybe a chance to learn?
JAnundson
Posts: 23
So, this is a bit of a rant. A friend of mine at work started "dieting" the same time I did. Although for me, I'm not dieting. I'm changing my life habits. Anyway, she still eats like crap. I mean, TOTAL CRAP. And at this point, she has lost more weight than me. Granted, she IS bigger than me, but only by about 30 pounds. I see her eating fast food and cake and drinking soda, and I'm over here with my salad and water being all annoyed. I mean, how does that happen? I work my *kitten* off 4 times a week for 90 minutes training with a personal trainer, and she leisurely goes to the gym 3 times a week and does 20 minutes on the treadmill. UGH. Am I missing something here??
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Calorie intake. Less intake+more output=weight loss Technically you could eat cheesecake and lose weight.
Or she's regurgitating it all up into a toilet behind closed doors.
EDIT: Odgen eh? Cool, I have family out there.0 -
And the moment she stops, and resumes eating it will go back on, because she has learned nothing from this journey.
She has lost more than you, because she weighed more than you to start.
Keep on doing it the right way
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First dont judge yourself based on other peoples success (although I wouldnt consider that success).
Second, consider:
Do you have genuine proof that she is loosing weight? or is she just telling you that?
Is she really getting healthier? Probably not.
Is her weight loss going to last? I doubt it.
Is she learning anything about herself, health, self control, self esteem or how to live well? Not really.
She is getting an easy start - just like you said - probably because she weighs more. She may be eating "less" crappy food and moving a little more so yes, she is going to loose pounds, but in the end it will catch up with her and she wont be able to figure out why she stopped loosing weight or is gaining it back again.
Keep doing what you are doing it sounds way better for your long term goals!!
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There is a huge difference....You are developing a healthy relationship with food and exercise. I think you answered you own question: You said you are NOT dieting, you are changing your life! Your success (may it be slower and harder worked for) will be long lasting and permanent! It is a wonder that she is losing weight, and I hope that she finds the courage and support she needs to develop better habbits, because continually eating junk will only work for so long. You are awesome and smart and you deserve every pound you are going to lose!0
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the lesson would be don't compare yourself to other people or you will never be happy.0
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How do you KNOW she is losing more than you?
Also, what is your daily calorie goal? If your calorie goal is too low and with all that excersise you may not be eating enough, which could hinder your loss.0 -
Weight loss is about calorie deficit. If hers is bigger than yours then she'll lose more weight. (Being 30 lbs heavier is probably allowing her to lose faster also) I don't necessarily think it means she'll gain it right back. I've lost all of my weight eating a wide variety of foods, including a lot that you'd probably consider junk. I feel like I'm well equipped to deal with real life, because I know how to fit a piece of cake or a couple of pieces of pizza into my goals.
If you're upset with your salad and water maybe you should consider adding a bit of treat food. I do the 80/20 approach-- 80% of my food goes toward meeting my macros and micros. 20% goes to treats. It's worked well for me. The best plan is the one you can stick to.0 -
Usually we don't really know how much someone is eating even if it looks like they're eating a lot. It's just our perception. Also, y'all are two different people and people's bodies work differently. It's difficult to compare yourself to someone else.
I would say just make sure you're truly changing your habits and continue to exercise and you'll be fit and she'll be, at best, skinny fat (if she's really not putting forth much effort).
Also, I am not sure if you were just saying "salad" to make a point, but you can definitely lose weight eating more than rabbit food.
Check out muffin-topless.com0 -
I think the most important lesson here is not about "why," but about comparisons. It's really valuable to detach from others' weight-loss process (though I completely understand your frustration). She may end up stalling out. But whatever happens with her efforts, it is yours you need to focus on. It's probably going to work against you if you keep staring over at her and getting annoyed. If you're making lifestyle changes, it's a good choice to examine how you feel, but then let it go. You are you, and you are doing something valuable and strong for yourself. I think negativity can sabotage our weight loss efforts, especially when we measure ourselves against another person instead of our own goals. Consider "letting go" part of your lifestyle changes, if you can. Don't let it make you feel hopeless and give up on yourself. You'll get there in your own time, at your own pace.0
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I'm comparing actions vs results, not myself as a whole compared to her as a whole.. I don't want her results the way she's getting them, I don't want to eat crap like she is. I guarantee I feel better than she does by eating foods that are good for me. I'm just trying to learn what I can about the process of changing your lifestyle, and I'm pretty sure that there are lots of people who have felt this way.0
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It's probably because she weighed more than you to start. If she starts by eating less of the crappy foods that she was eating and exercising at all when before she wasn't exercising, she will lose for at least a while. Eventually, she will have to make bigger life changes to see results.0
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Are you missing something here? Probably.
I mean, it's not your life. You don't know what she's doing when you can't see her.
30 pounds really is a lot, in terms of how quickly someone will lose weight. You will probably lose slower because you have less to lose.
The amount of caloric deficit matters, too, but it sounds like you haven't changed your life in a way that you're happy with if you wish you were eating the cake and food instead of just chicken and salad.
You don't have to deprive yourself. You can eat what you like and still lose. Just make sure that what you choose to do actually is a lifestyle change that you want.0 -
Yes, the statement of salad and water was to make a point.0
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I lost a lot of my weight by participating portion control of food I liked eating (fast food, various junk food, full fat dairy, carbs, red meat etc, etc.). Eventually, in addition to doing that, I started introducing new veggies and started making a lot of my meals from scratch (basically I learned to cook). To this day, I still only work out 3-5 times a week for 20-30 minutes.
I think the critical thing is to not compare yourself to her or put down her efforts because everyone is different. Her method worked for me because it was sustainable and eventually lead me to other changes. If you don't enjoy what you are doing, try something else. If you are happy with what you are doing, then why not just keep at it and know it's right for you?0 -
Have you measured yourself? She may have lost more weight, but you could have lost more inches as you are probably gaining muscle.0
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I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.0
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Is it possible you don't like the food you're eating? It just seems that if you were happy with your current habits, you wouldn't begrudge other people's success.0
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I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
I don't really understand what you are hoping to achieve here...0 -
I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
You should have expected rationale when you thought you might learn something in the title of this thread. If you actually did think that.
There IS logic behind it and it's this: she is using more calories than she is eating. That's it. The type of calories don't matter. And that's logic.0 -
I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
That's because you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight if you have a caloric deficit. It's pretty simple.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.0
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I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
That's because you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight if you have a caloric deficit. It's pretty simple.
But you want to live a healthy lifestyle.... and no matter what your calorie deficit is, if you are constantly eating whatever you want and that includes a whole lot of junk then your body won't be able to function to its best ability. And yes weight loss will be harder because your body is full of crap. Stick to your healthy lifestyle, and allow yourself treats from time to time. Nothing wrong with that.0 -
Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.0
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I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
Oh, well then, if that is what you are here for! Why didn't you say so in the first place?
I totally support your right to judge your "friend" and her choice of foods and support and understand your lack of understanding about a caloric deficit. Way to go! Good luck on your journey!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
You should have expected rationale when you thought you might learn something in the title of this thread. If you actually did think that.
There IS logic behind it and it's this: she is using more calories than she is eating. That's it. The type of calories don't matter. And that's logic.
^This.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!0 -
And the moment she stops, and resumes eating it will go back on, because she has learned nothing from this journey.
That's a bit of an assumption.
One could say that the more overweight girl is simply creating a deficit while still enjoying the foods she loves.
OP eat a healthy, balanced diet and enjoy some wine. ice cream, or whatever else you're craving occasionally. As you said this is a lifestyle change and who the hell wants to eat salad for the rest of their lives.0 -
Topic: A bit of a rant... and maybe a chance to learn?
It's a chance to learn. Rant heard, irrational by definition understood....moving on. This is a perfect opportunity to learn because a) you're puzzled and b) you've gotten a lot of great answers. I've lost 25 lbs so far and some of my friends who started with me and have been spouting all their rationale's about weight loss and diet are not even close behind me. They are too proud to admit it, and I am too graceful to flaunt it in their face. Here though we can let our hair down, yes?
Please OP re-read this thread when your frustration has subsided and when you do, focus on the following posts which I will quote for you below.0 -
Weight loss is about calorie deficit. If hers is bigger than yours then she'll lose more weight. (Being 30 lbs heavier is probably allowing her to lose faster also) I don't necessarily think it means she'll gain it right back. I've lost all of my weight eating a wide variety of foods, including a lot that you'd probably consider junk. I feel like I'm well equipped to deal with real life, because I know how to fit a piece of cake or a couple of pieces of pizza into my goals.
If you're upset with your salad and water maybe you should consider adding a bit of treat food. I do the 80/20 approach-- 80% of my food goes toward meeting my macros and micros. 20% goes to treats. It's worked well for me. The best plan is the one you can stick to.
I hate to start by quoting someone from my FL, but yet I love it at the same time!
's to her. 0 -
I get pissed off when people win the lottery. I mean really. They win a million dollars, and I have to slave away day in and day out (ignore the fact that I'm on MFP right now), and get paid a mere fraction of that.
Ignore the fact that I don't buy lottery tickets either because they cost like $6 and I never win.
But how dare they win and not me!
Also ignore that I don't know how much money they have spent up to this point on lotto tickets too.
IT'S JUST NOT FAIR
Rant - heard. It sucks.
chance to learn? Yeah it's here in the responses...up to you as to whether you take it.
:flowerforyou:0
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