No Support from 'Friends'

wow. this girl sounds SUPER worthless.

im pretty sure this is bullying and harassing

and yes you should just "rise above"

but if it were me, id pull her aside and let her know youre THISCLOSE to filing harassment papers on her, and taking her back down to the gutter where she belongs, so she better back the **** off. and then have a sip of your soda. and always make eye contact with this woman. ALWAYS. dont give away your power.

I'm not sure what harassment papers are...but I would say to document, document, document because this is the type of person to try to bring you down in HR. I work in an employee-at-will state and when it's employer Vs employee the employee typically loses.

Minus the fact that I want to drop kick that *****. Really why does anyone have to be so darn mean. You can handle her and the best way is to let your changes shock her. Remember the better you do the worse she may get. That means you keep getting better and better.

There is a woman I work with and she is nothing short of nasty with me. So you know what she gets back..exactly what she gives me. If she is walking behind me and I open a door I don't hold it for her, since that is how she treats me. I do not say hello or anything to her. She wants to act like she is the ****. Go ahead but with me you get what you give.

I am not losing weight for anyone but me. I am doing it my way and in my own time. A few people know and yesterday one girl I said something to about walking to work to keep the 25 pounds off I lost. She said oh I don't want to hear it. Now I am sure she was kidding but I made a mental note. Never to say anything about my weight loss to her again.

You lean on your sister in the hard times and you lean on us. We are here for you.

I have kind of noticed this thing about women.... Somehow, a lot of women are raised to believe that everything is a competition. I have noticed this a lot when it comes to male attention, weight, career. They want to sabotage each other at every turn. I was raised by my mom to believe that we women are all on the same team and that it is our job to root for each other, support each other, and encourage each other. It seems to me that she is doing this to you so you will cave. How do you handle it? By smiling, being positive and encouraging to her, and not caving into what she wants you to do. Don't go to HR. I assume that you want to become a permanent employee there and you don't want to seem like you're not a team player. Don't make comments about how she will gain weight and you will lose it, because that is stooping down to a level where all things are a competition. Just smile and joke, "It must be great to eat whatever you want and still lose weight! I don't have that gene, so I have to stick with my water and healthy snacks!"

You can do this!!!!! Your sister sounds like a great support system!

I would not run to HR. While she is certainly acting like a jerk, her conduct does not seem tho fit the legal definition of harassment. (based on race, color, gender, religion, sexual orientation, age, national origin, disability, or other protected category.)
Tell her to stop, if she doesn't ask your supervisor to talk to her.

Stick to your guns and don't let her derail your efforts. Good luck!

True story. I am an HR person and complaining about someone 'teasing you' by drinking soda in front of you would make me cringe and it would reflect negatively on you rather than them. Especially if you are a temp. It is much easier to replace a temp who is complaining because someone is drinking soda in front of them than a long standing employee. You will been seen as overly sensitive and a potential future risk if something as mundane as a soda can send you running to HR.

I have kind of noticed this thing about women.... Somehow, a lot of women are raised to believe that everything is a competition. I have noticed this a lot when it comes to male attention, weight, career. They want to sabotage each other at every turn. I was raised by my mom to believe that we women are all on the same team and that it is our job to root for each other, support each other, and encourage each other. It seems to me that she is doing this to you so you will cave. How do you handle it? By smiling, being positive and encouraging to her, and not caving into what she wants you to do. Don't go to HR. I assume that you want to become a permanent employee there and you don't want to seem like you're not a team player. Don't make comments about how she will gain weight and you will lose it, because that is stooping down to a level where all things are a competition. Just smile and joke, "It must be great to eat whatever you want and still lose weight! I don't have that gene, so I have to stick with my water and healthy snacks!"

You can do this!!!!! Your sister sounds like a great support system!

Thank you, Voice of Reason. OP, when you play into this competitive stuff, it will make YOU feel bad. It might make her feel bad, too, but at what cost to your own peace and contentment? I'd try to take a merciful approach, after all- it's HER issue, not your issue. You are doing great. Maybe try to see her as a sad product of a sad society. It will help you to feel compassion instead of competitiveness. After all, she's just a robot, doing what her programmers programmed her to do. You, however, can defy your own programming and be nice, cool, calm and unaffected by her meanness- if you see it for what it is.

It's great that at least you have your sister and you two are close. I know what you mean though, even if a friend isn't intentionally leading you astray (yours do sound like they're trying to, though) it can be hard being around people who are eating things you are not longer eating because of a lifestyle/not a cheat day, be it soda, cheese, pizza, breads etc. It's freaking hard. It's hard to say no to cookies. And having friends that are encouraging it rather than discouraging it is even harder. It's good that at least you have your sister to go to for support. Just find your inspiration in you. You know you shouldn't have those things, regardless of if your friends have them. You're doing something good for you, and you know that.

Wait . . this girl is drinking sodas and eating pizza and losing weight . . and also on this site?

Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her.

Since youre doing well, I would bring the scales into the office and have a weekly weigh in for everyone. You betchya she wont even go near them!

Wait . . this girl is drinking sodas and eating pizza and losing weight . . and also on this site?

Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her.

My oh my, you sir are hot!!!

Keep working hard and try to ignore her. If she gets too out of hand, report her to your supervisor.

If you need any more MFP friends to help support you, feel free to add me!

Ditto.

Also, I would tell that co-worker that her behavior is annoying and attention seeking, doing nothing positive for your life.

Also, I would KILL to have a supportive sibling.

The problem with getting support and dealing with triggers is that most people have a skewed view of consumption. If you know what you want from this and what your struggles are, try your hardest to focus on yourself.

I would not go to HR with something like that - it is pretty trivial - I agree with the earlier post from HR perspective. I will just give you advice my mother gave me any time someone was being annoying - ignore her. It took me a long time to be able to do and maybe you need time to but since I am not actually there I cannot tell if she is actually doing this to annoy you or if she just happens to be drinking pop in front of you and it is making you crazy.

I have not even told anyone at work that I'm trying to lose weight or that I've lost any.

Next time she's teasing you with that Diet Coke, grab the can and toss it in the trash. She'll get huffy about it, so tell her to suck it up and deal since what did she expect to happen with teasing you. Other option is come out and tell her to knock that shizzle off because it's annoying as fudge.

Ummmm. Don't do this. That first part might get you landed in jail for assault or simple battery. Don't touch another person like that in the workplace.

Just ignore her. Her drinking a soda in front of you isn't failing to support you. Her taunting you is, but be the bigger person and ignore her.

Explain to me how taking someone's drink and tossing it in the garbage is assault and battery? Taking that view means the friend can also be charged with assault and battery.

Seems to me that playing nice isn't doing any good (getting it to stop). Yes, I'm b***y because I don't play a victim for anyone, even good friends who tease me with sodas and candy.

Those of you suggesting I take stuff from her obviously dont' understand a work enviorment and I dont' know how if you did what you said you did you didn't get fired. I'm pretty sure snatching things that belong to other people, or things they paid money for, and then ruining it so they can't have it anymore is not okay in any work places books...I'm going to stick with the people who are actually making sense adn not telling me to just turn around and pretty much be a bigger *kitten* to her...

Now I see what the problem is.

I would not run to HR. While she is certainly acting like a jerk, her conduct does not seem tho fit the legal definition of harassment. (based on race, color, gender, religion, sexual orientation, age, national origin, disability, or other protected category.)
Tell her to stop, if she doesn't ask your supervisor to talk to her.

Stick to your guns and don't let her derail your efforts. Good luck!

True story. I am an HR person and complaining about someone 'teasing you' by drinking soda in front of you would make me cringe and it would reflect negatively on you rather than them. Especially if you are a temp. It is much easier to replace a temp who is complaining because someone is drinking soda in front of them than a long standing employee. You will been seen as overly sensitive and a potential future risk if something as mundane as a soda can send you running to HR.

HR Person here too. Dont do that!