Why did you let yourself go?...

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  • Alexandra289
    Alexandra289 Posts: 330 Member
    As a teenager there were several occasions where boys bullied me for being ugly. Mixing that with being a pretty unhappy teenager I just piled on weight over a year or two. Looking back, it was almost liberating - like, yes now I'm fat and really ugly, I know and you don't have to tell me.

    I decided to lose the weight when my Dad sent me and my mum to a spa as a well done to me for completing my exams. I spent half the day crying when I got in my swimming costume because I just felt so huge. Other than that, I was a lot happier and had overcome other problems and I realised my weight was one of the last things I really needed to fix.
  • pet1127
    pet1127 Posts: 572 Member
    Complacency and denial.

    ^^^^
    that in a nut shell
  • CalypsoNi
    CalypsoNi Posts: 44
    Well, mine started mentally. From age 11-18 I was with a guy who was.. well, abusive. He would hit me, down my artistic skill and tell me I couldn't draw, and would mentally just plain out abuse me. Weirdly enough he never went verbally, but he never so much as called me "pretty" either. It was always "eh". Once I got away from him it was the best thing ever! However mentally I still felt like crap. I would look in the mirror and.. well, I thought I looked like the ugliest thing in the world, so why try to look pretty? I was constantly called ugly in school because I have chicken pox scars all over my face from a bad outbreak when I was little.
    I put all my focus in to either MMO's for a while or art, which had me on my bottom drinking soda all the time, just to keep myself from thinking about some things.(I still do both, but that suppression method to it is gone, now it's mostly art. It's my job after all.)

    However now, 60lbs heavier and with a companion who adores me regardless, I think it's time that I give myself the body that i've always wanted(20lbs+ lighter than my original weight). I want to be able to look good in my eyes, as well as others and not be ashamed to show myself in public.
  • I moved out of my parents house for the first time in 30 years. I moved in with my boyfriend and his roommate to a city i have never lived in . So moving in one week, getting used to a different routine, eating the boyfriends cooking (bacon fat to cook eggs) . Also around the time of the move it was the holidays so of course there was the company food and the gift of food the clients like to bring. Not exercising . So it was a perfect storm and stress lots of stress.
  • owlets1401
    owlets1401 Posts: 12
    I suffer from chronic hip pain and for the last for years I wasn't allowed to exercise, nor did I want to with all the pain, in case in was my bones. So I was put on a strict diet of 1200 calories a day and had many meal plans and such until the doctors could figure out my medical issues. Then from the start of my restricted calorie intake I put on weight. I weigh 15kg more than what I should have for my height and build. So when I was referred to physio because they couldn't think of anything else to do. It was one of the best days of my life because I'm now allowed to be active again. At the moment its only light stuff because it's going to take awhile before I am normal again. But I am getting there and have lost inches off my body :)
  • CudyBug
    CudyBug Posts: 742 Member
    Because our society allows mothers to use pregnancy and having children as a valid excuse to get fat and stay that way. Pure and simple. I used my children as an excuse to not work out.

    really? I feel the opposite I think society puts an unrealistic and expectation on mothers to lose their baby weight. Victoria Beckham, Gwen Stefani, Heidi Klum, etc. I was pregnant while Britney Spears was.....I was in a race to lose that baby weight!!

    to the original question.....I never really felt like I let myself go, just have to try harder to stay toned as I get older....

    Exactly! Honestly I do think saying anyone pregnant is getting fat is wrong. Honestly, I know people who have gotten pregnant and were so worried about "getting fat" that they starved themselves BUT still got extremely large. It happens.

    Anyway back to the question. I never "let myself go" persay. I never was a girly girl or anything. Never really was overweight untill I got pregnant with my first and just kept eating like I had been (teenager diet ha) and gained a ton of weight. I had her and my world just revolved around this little baby. Appearance was never important to me and since I was still pretty healthy, I didn't care. My world was her. Then 2 years later I had another baby which I actually lost a bunch of weight while pregnant but again had him and was so focused on two children under three that I ended up gaining some weight and keeping it. Throw on a year later my husband losing his job and struggling untill we lost everything and had to move in with my mother in law. The dynamics at that house put me into a depression which wasn't the cause of the poor eating but eating out because of other factors. Gained quite a bit but then 9 months later moved and soon lost 50 lbs felt great but decided another baby would be a great idea. I really did try to not gain but pregnancy is unpredictable and I gained back that 50 lbs and kept it on now 18 months after he was born. Of course my home life is crazier with two children, homeschooling and all that stuff so yes I am put on the back burner for now. My children are more important then I am and I refuse to take time away from them leaving at the daycare at the gym. Not to mention my third child has proven to be quite the difficult child.
  • smithcentral
    smithcentral Posts: 25 Member
    Food was my drug of choice. It was delicious, legal, and readily available. Every time I was depressed, happy, stressed, or celebrating an event, I over-ate.
  • Rennie13
    Rennie13 Posts: 1
    I was unhappy and ate to fill a void in my heart. I poured my time into a career and outside activities and did not care enough about my self to schedule "me" time to exercise and eat right. I had been taught that "real women" did not do that....they gave their time to others and that I was not important enough to do that. I still struggle with these issues but know that I need to give myself the gift of time in order to take care of myself and my kids. It is still a struggle.
  • ozigal
    ozigal Posts: 173 Member
    I never understood or even wanted to understand nutrition. I used to enjoy sports when I was young but I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted and then was too fat to participate in any sport. That spiralled downwards unfortunately.

    My attitude was that life was too short to be not be happy and that eating what I wanted, not caring about how I looked or how healthy I was made me happy.

    Reality is that life gets much shorter if you don't look after yourself and that it's difficult to participate in things if you are too fat to do them and I only realised that last year. I suppose 44 years late is better than never :)
  • KittyViolet
    KittyViolet Posts: 220 Member
    Because when you're dating a guy who has no interest in pursuing anything (including you!) but peak levels on MMOs all day AND night, it's pretty f@$#ing easy to drown yourself in more poor choices. -____- Every attempt I made to regain control crashed and burned because he was too lazy to even feign support, let alone try it with me.

    So, new, fit boyfriend. New, healthy choices. New, rockin' life.
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I didn't. I had an injury that left me bed ridden for a significant amount of time, and through lack of physical activity + same amount of calorie consumption, I gained 80 lbs.

    Of course I'm not as physically active as I was 8 years ago, so my calorie consumption isn't as high as before, but I'm almost back to where I was.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Depression and losing sight of myself.

    This is the biggest thing for me.

    But there were little things along the way. Going from a fairly active lifestyle (at least on my feet most of the day) to a cushy desk job. Going from a single woman living alone who was content to have cereal for dinner, to a married woman who ate regular meals. But mostly... depression and not giving a damn. Staying thin was no longer a priority. When depression hits, NOTHING is a priority.
  • kittychan91
    kittychan91 Posts: 13 Member
    What happened to me was i had my daughter, the 2 months later moved out on my own
    so i was eating fast food and junk food a lot, and I went on the birth control patch for about 6 months which also made me gain a bit, so i guess a mixture of a few things i ended up gaining like 50 lbs. right now i weigh more than I did when i was 9 months pregnant.
  • fizzletto
    fizzletto Posts: 252 Member
    There's no deep, meaningful or emotional reason why I gained weight. It was simply because when I finished my GCSEs at age 16 my lifestyle changed a lot - I wasn't doing P.E/Gym lessons any more and I wasn't walking to school and back every day. Yet, I continued to eat the same. My calories in started to exceed my calories out.
  • lausa22
    lausa22 Posts: 467 Member
    Depression: I didn't feel like moving but I continued to eat, ergo weight gain
  • MsQuacklady
    MsQuacklady Posts: 19
    From what I understand about myself at the age of 46 ...I let myself go --- willingly. And I have no excuses. No children, no childhood traumas ....I grew up in a typical Italian household...Was very active...youngest of five. Went to college -- played sports my whole life -- softball - volleyball -- swimming --gym memberships. Was always tall 5'10..... even when I was 13 yrs old. Carried my weight well being athletic. Worked...bought a home by myself . Maintained it myself. Retired early (age 35 on disability) and moved to Fla.
    That is when it went down hill..... I had no boundaries any longer. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I had no financial restrictions. I wasn't accountable to anyone......took up some recreational habits (drinking...pot) that hurt my waist line. Gave them up after 7-8 yrs. Here I am ....100 lbs overweight and wondering why ?? Because I can't control myself. Can't control my portions. I need rules....guidelines...to be made accountable. My husband doesn't critique me, but when he does slip, it's in a real nasty way that makes me snap back at him. A vicious cycle no doubt. I am a highly educated person, with a deep understanding of nutrition. Sometimes I feel down-right over educated when it comes to food/diet/nutrition. I know fad diets are silly. That didn't stop me from trying HCG a few years back. And I lost 50 lbs on it....felt great....but what a blow to my social life. So that went out the window.
    I know what I am supposed to do. I'm just not doing it. I have the beginnings of those aches and pains in my knees, my hips.
    I play tennis at a 4.0 level and it is hard on the body.....I am at a crossroad .....want to continue my fabulous life.... I LOVE my life...but I must lose weight before my health declines so badly that I lose everything.
    I am well aware that this should be my priority in my life....making myself do it is the hard part. It's almost like I am pushing myself to break.... Comments/thoughts appreciated as always...good or bad....I've said it all to myself already.
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 836 Member
    I went back to university after a summer of working 12 hour shifts on my feet. I would go to work in the morning for the lunch shift, come home and sleep, have a quick snack then go back to work for the dinner shift - race around like crazy till the dinner rush slowed/ we shut. Sometimes the other waitresses and I would eat hot chips or have brownie off the desert cart at 9pm but
    we would have burnt it all off so it didn't matter. Then I would walk home and repeat the next day.

    When I went back to university I was sitting down and studying all the time so I didn't burn a quarter of the energy I had over the summer. Also 3 meals were provided for me, so I quickly gained all the weight I had lost over the summer and some more. I didn't have the knowledge or commitment to make the correct changes and lose any weight
  • I had four babies in five years...before I even got off the pregnancy weight, I was pregnant again . I have PCOS with insulin resistance and hypothyroidism, which made it difficult to lose ANY weight after having a baby, on top of the close pregnancies. Throw in severe PPD and boredom eating from being very isolated and having no one but toddlers to talk to all day. Not making excuses. It's just the "why." I didn't actually keep gaining. I maintained weight about 20 pounds heavier than what I should have been. After the PPD fog lifted, I was able to be more disciplined, with the help of MFP, about what and how much I was eating. I now actually weigh less than I did before I got pregnant the first time. I still do sometimes have problems with eating out of boredom (I always have plenty to do, but I think it's mental boredom/loneliness), but I started crocheting and sewing to keep my hands busy in the evenings when the kids are in bed and I'm tempted to give in to munching.
  • escort9580
    escort9580 Posts: 23 Member
    I think people don't realize how many calories are in some foods. I use to eat a lot but since it was mostly fruits and veggies i was thin because the calorie intake way low but we live in a fast food world and all that tasty food even in small portions puts you over your calorie needs for the day by a lot! I love pizza too!
  • Zhu_An
    Zhu_An Posts: 3
    Pure laziness. I've always been thin, so it was never really "letting myself go." But being a naturally small person (on the short side too), I know I am risk for osteoporis, which kind of scares me. For me to be healthy I need to work on building muscles. I'm a nurse so I particularly need to watch my back. I already have joint and back problems, and some muscles would help me. I go back and forth on working to improve this, but then I get super lazy. But I'm back on track. Also I was with my parents the summer after uni and they severely lack the fruits and vegetable I love, so I gained a bit out bored eating junk food.

    For me MFP is a good place because it helps me balance out eating with exercise. The more active I am, the less hungry I get and I know I often don't eat enough.
  • SpitfireStacey
    SpitfireStacey Posts: 158 Member
    I got married and moved to the USA. I've struggled to lose the weight and keep it off ever since.
  • takumaku
    takumaku Posts: 352 Member
    Undiagnosed medical
  • mfleeg
    mfleeg Posts: 137 Member
    I was violently raped in college. I don't talk about it much but it made me severely depressed. I started drinking and fell asleep BY MYSELF in a guy friend's dorm room and woke up to his friend trying to take advantage of me being passed out. I started to gain weight in order to make myself unattractive so it would never happen to me again. I probably put on about 75-100 pounds. :(

    After a few years of therapy, I am finally to the point where I am ready to lose the weight because I feel better about my life again. Time to take back what is mine.... you know? :)
  • SashaMegan
    SashaMegan Posts: 110 Member

    Depression and losing sight of myself.
    ... depression and not giving a damn. Staying thin was no longer a priority. When depression hits, NOTHING is a priority.

    True story. And it's so hard to force myself into exercising when some days I don't even care about if I'll wake up next day. :frown:
  • lalaland82
    lalaland82 Posts: 176 Member
    I was violently raped in college. I don't talk about it much but it made me severely depressed. I started drinking and fell asleep BY MYSELF in a guy friend's dorm room and woke up to his friend trying to take advantage of me being passed out. I started to gain weight in order to make myself unattractive so it would never happen to me again. I probably put on about 75-100 pounds. :(

    After a few years of therapy, I am finally to the point where I am ready to lose the weight because I feel better about my life again. Time to take back what is mine.... you know? :)

    Thats awful, glad you've got a good therapist, and that you're getting better :flowerforyou:
  • mikkimomof3
    mikkimomof3 Posts: 224 Member
    I grew up in a house with relatively thin family members. We ate junk food, and I ate more than they did. I didn't have the tools as a child to know what and how to eat. I knew I wanted to lose weight (it was an issue as long as I can remember), but until I grew up, moved away and started cooking for myself, I really just felt overwhelmed and lost. My main motivation now is to provide my children with the right tools and information to live healthy lifestyles. They may choose not to at some point, but they'll never have the problem of not knowing HOW to.
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
    I put on weight when my parents split. I lived with my dad who was working so hard to keep a roof over our heads. I was 11 at the time so my mom had not showed me how to cook. I was always a skinny kid. Started eating a lot take out. Tried everything but would put it back on. Shattered my knee cap 12 weeks in cast added more weight. Went through a 9 year relationship break up and yes you guessed it more weight. Met my amazing boyfriend who is a professional athlete when he was off and we gained a bunch weight. 1.5 years ago I decided enough was enough. I have lost 40 and he has lost over 50. We will both never go back to the way things were. We both love to cook even take cooking classes together,workout and are very very active and fill our fridge with healthy foods(I think it's harder when you live at home)
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    I hated myself, I was around people that constantly put me down my entire life. I was told I couldn't do things due to having asthma and then after gaining a lot of weight due to a heavy steroid dosage over a summer (weekly checkups on my kidney's and all that fun stuff) I was bullied due to being fat.

    That's the short version, wrote the entire story and it just seems too much like pity me and I don't want to come off that way. It's my fault I was the one in control and I allowed others to put me down and make me feel like I wasn't in control. Now it's just me I walked away from everyone that hurt me and put me down. It's something I should had done when I was 18.

    Now I'm happier than ever but got a few lbs to drop to feel better physically about myself.
  • lwagnitz
    lwagnitz Posts: 1,321 Member
    Because I got injured. :'( I was eating like I was when I was an athlete but I wasn't moving so I packed on some weight. To add insult to injury family life was extremely stressful and that triggered me into some really bad eating habits that I had NEVER had before.
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    I just had other priorities and it seemed like such a mysterious endeavor. I have probably owned a bookshelf full of diet books in my lifetime, all with very different messages.