Terrified of the gym

You have embarrassment anxiety... and, BOY, do I know all about that. I do go to the gym, but I put on my headphones and use imaginary blinders so I don't think about anyone but ME. People may look at you, but I guarantee there is someone else in that gym who is as embarrassed as YOU are. The more you go, the less anxiety you will feel.

So work out at home?

^^^This. I, too, have never been good about working out in gyms (which probably explains why I carried around the extra weight for so long). I have lost 33 pounds without stepping foot in a gym. I have an elliptical and hand weights at home. I also have recently taken up running. There are also loads of videos that you can buy or view on Youtube that will help you lose weight and tone.

If you really want this, then go for it and don't let anything get in your way. Don't make excuses as to why you can't do it. Just do it, and do it for YOU.

I walked into my gym the other day and there were two women, obviously friends because they were working out together, and they both weighed well over 20 stone! Of course people noticed them when you walked in, because 1) they're new and 2) they're quite big
But no one even looked at them after a few seconds! I asked my boyfriend after our gym session if he saw them too and he said he didn't notice, he was too busy on his own workout.

I used to be terrified of joining the gym too, because I thought I was too big and everyone would think 'what is she doing here'. I still have those worries now! But I think, MY health is more important than what other people think.

Let me tell you this, the only bad workout is the one you didn't do!!! I go o Zumba and I am the most uncoordinated person ever. I step on my own toes and trip myself and can't keep up but I just keep moving even if I'm not doing the exact same thing the instructor or the rest of the class is doing. You have to learn to laugh at yourself, It's all in the name of being healthy and having fun with it. No one is there to judge you, in fact, you will find that in these classes at he gym is where you will find the most encouraging people, You just have to get there and start, That's the hardest part. If you don't do it you will continue this self destructive pattern you are on of hating your body and yourself for not doing it so just get out there and do it. It will build your character and charisma and it will give you the confidence you so desperately desire. It's you vs. you and no one else.

If you are already running on a regular basis, you are already ahead of the game. I am similar in that running has always been my thing. It's always been a struggle for me to gain strength, so when I take time off from lifting, I feel like when I go back to the gym, people are laughing at how little weight I am using (this is more of a male concern than female, it's a macho thing). What always helps me is to have a plan. You can find good free routines at www.bodybuilding.com. Don't get intimidated by all the pictures and everything on there, they have programs meant for men, women, beginners and pros and they have illustrations and explanations for each exercise (tempo, what muscles to focus on, etc.). I would look for a simple total body routine on there and practice some of the movements at home without weights so you're comfortable with them. Then, when you're ready for the gym, print out your workout and take it with you. Start with lighter weights than you think you can do, just focus on getting the movements and form down properly. As you get more comfortable with the routine, you can increase the weight you are using in future workouts to give yourself more of a challenge. They may give suggested rest periods between sets and exercises, but for now I would just focus on getting comfortable in the routine and worry about that stuff later. The first time will be the hardest, but you'll start getting more comfortable after a couple of times. I know what it feels like to have gym anxiety, so I hope this helps!

I live in an Olympic Peninsula (WA) town where the most "popular" gym in town is the YMCA. I began my M/W/F gym routine shortly after having had Roux en Y gastric bypass surgery (January 15, 2013). - that surgery most likely saved/extended my life! At sixty-three, 5'2" feet tall, morbidly obese (that is no longer an issue due to the surgery), grandmother of adults and a woman who saw "exercise" as something to dread, my gym time has become something I look forward to and really miss if I have to forego a day.

My iPod is a constant companion as I move through my "routine" . . I find myself popping a bud out - from time to time - when (often) young members stop by to encourage me, remind me to "drink water" and share their fitness goals and aspirations. Once I moved beyond the "everybody will be looking at me" phase (which was totally a figment of MY imagination), I started having a blast!

Bottom line . . I simply don't care if I'm sweating, off-balance, saying "drink, drink, drink!!" aloud or huffin'-n-puffin' to beat the band . . all eyes are NOT on me! If I (at 63 and mobility-impaired) found myself to be a "matter of concern" (fell, dizzy, dehydrated, etc.) I have no doubt that there would be folks who had my back . . whether I knew them or not.

I am who I am (I like me!) and I have my own reasons for paying for my Y membership each month. If someone chooses not to exercise next to me - that's their loss (and their problem) 'cause I'm a nice person! We have a significant mix of Y gym folk in Port Angeles; . seniors (that would be me!), youth (still in school) - I had a wonderful conversation with a 12-year-old - who was on an adjacent treadmill a few weeks ago!, folks with disabilities (that would be me!) and - of course - the (primarily) young hardbodies who are so intent on their training regimens that they simply do not *see* what's going on around them.

I do work out at home (hand weights and resistance bands) and I find it MUCH more intimidating than the Y . . my cat STARES, yawns and, for all intents and purposes, judges my workout with a harsh, no-holds-barred and critical eye . . THAT is the best reason I can think of to head for the gym!! :happy:

You're doing this for you - for better health and an improved level of fitness -there's no better reason in my book! You GO girl!!

Omg I can relate.I sort of mental stress myself out of doing this with senseless fear. I have forced myself to go do things but after a time it becomes to hard.Just try running alone and working out at home till you feel more confident,that seems to work for me.Maybe we can encourage each other.

Awww, don't worry so much! I go early early in the morning for 2 reasons: one, it's the only schedule I'll stick to and two, no one gives a *kitten* what you're doing at that hour. They're there to get in, get their work done, and get out to get to their jobs on time.

I do know what you mean. When I started lifting heavy I was nervous. I mentioned it to my personal trainer (who got me started). He said, see all those mirrors? Yeah- those dudes are more interested in looking at themselves than they are at you. Totally true. I don't see anyone else when I'm in the zone, when I'm working hard. I couldn't care less that anyone else is there (except if they're on a rack I want). No one cares, seriously. And if they did, what are they to you? If they are thinking those weird, cruel things, you'll prove them wrong anyway by being there on a schedule, improving, doing your work. Seriously though anyone thinking those petty small minded cruel things isn't worth anyone else's time and particularly not yours.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but the level of anxiety you describe sounds like it might be interfering with your life, which is a sufficient reason to talk to a therapist. And yeah, working out at home might be a good idea for a while, until you get a handle on this.

You might be right, I REALLY (cant stress enough) appreciate everyone's advice but I'm kind of reading it all and thinking "You just don't understand" I even feel anxious exercising alone at home to be honest. If I get a move wrong or something my eyes start to sting and I just turn off the DVD or put the weights away. In all other areas of my life I am confident, I have quite a high performance sales job where I don't worry about what people think (anymore than anyone else does that is) but when it comes to exercise I just feel like a giant mass of bones and flesh that's kind of been cut out and plonked in the middle of another planet where the air doesn't suit its lungs... or something like that anyway..!!

Running is okay, because no one can see me and it's just me in my own thoughts, I don't feel claustrophobic or watched. But it's not going to get me the body I want.

You seem to be expecting perfection from yourself when it comes to exercising. It is just like anything else we do in life it takes practice to get good at something. It takes a minimum of 7 times to learn a move and then it isn't perfect. That's why basketball players spend hours perfecting their free throws. As a pianist I spend hours practicing a piece to get it right and so help me if I do it wrong once it is going to take about 14 times to once again be able to do it right consistently.

Having said all that be gentle with yourself. Accept the fact that the first time or the thirtieth time you do something it may not be perfect. Allow yourself to relax and enjoy the process of learning. Good luck! Your world can get a whole lot bigger!!!