Coworker attempting sabotage...

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kateauch
kateauch Posts: 195 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I work in a small office and I'm the youngest employee by a good 8-10 years. Despite my chunky figure, our maintenance crew often compliments me on my appearance at which point I try to graciously thank them and change the subject.

Because of this and my new dedicated efforts ditch my overweight body in the past month, I think I've brought out some jealousy in a few coworkers.

I have noticed one of my heavier lady coworkers will offer me fried foods, candy and ask if I want to go to lunch with her more often now that I'm eating better. I don't want to think she's doing this consciously but it's getting to the point where I'm turning her down repeatedly throughout the day and it only seems to make her try harder.

How do I politely but firmly say enough is enough? Who else has had to deal with this?

ETA:
Yeah, she's aware that I'm trying to eat better.

Like today I had my salad and went for a walk at lunch and she came back with Carl's Jr, asked if I "was a good girl" and had my salad today to which I said yes.

Then she offered me french fries.

Also- I go out with her 1/2 times a week. Our desks are back to back. We see each other quite a bit. I'm friendly just getting fed up with "Thanks but no" routine.
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Replies

  • MudRunLvr
    MudRunLvr Posts: 226 Member
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    Just politely say no any time you want.

    I doubt she's intentionally trying to make you gain weight, but anything is possible. She might just want a friend to eat with her. Try not to view her as a villain and maybe just someone trying in their own way to be nice.
  • lkplibra
    lkplibra Posts: 147 Member
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    Or it could be that you are more "popular" and she simply wants to be friends...
  • rene_sf
    rene_sf Posts: 10
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    have you offered her your foods? or to have her eat out with you? maybe she is curious about how you're eating?
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    I would simply be honest and say "Sorry, not trying to ditch you, but I'm eating a specific diet right now for health reasons".
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    So I work in a small office and I'm the youngest employee by a good 8-10 years. Despite my chunky figure, our maintenance crew often compliments me on my appearance at which point I try to graciously thank them and change the subject.

    Because of this and my new dedicated efforts ditch my overweight body in the past month, I think I've brought out some jealousy in a few coworkers.

    I have noticed one of my heavier lady coworkers will offer me fried foods, candy and ask if I want to go to lunch with her more often now that I'm eating better. I don't want to think she's doing this consciously but it's getting to the point where I'm turning her down repeatedly throughout the day and it only seems to make her try harder.

    How do I politely but firmly say enough is enough? Who else has had to deal with this?

    Def sounds like sabotage as fried foods, candy and lunches at restaurants = instafat
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    You could just straight up tell her that you're trying to better your eating habits, that you'll be packing your own lunches so she should stop wasting her time offering you food. Not exactly polite, but she'll get the point.
  • TAMayorga
    TAMayorga Posts: 341 Member
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    Are you turning her down because 1) you'd rather do your own thing at lunch, or 2) because you think she's trying to sabotage your healthy eating? If it's 1), just keep repeating yourself as others have said. If it's 2), maybe go out with her a time or two, but stick to your macros. Maybe once she sees that you're serious about your health, she'll leave you alone.
  • Kpablo
    Kpablo Posts: 355 Member
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    Tell her you're on a diet and trying to eat good.

    She'll get the point eventually.
  • missymakayla
    missymakayla Posts: 309 Member
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    Thank her for the offer of all the food, but also tell her no thankyou, and please don't offer me these kind of food choices, I'm trying to eat healthier, and offer her your food choices......
  • kateauch
    kateauch Posts: 195 Member
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    She's definitely the person I'm closest to in the office and she has a very "mama bear" personality so there's a lot of checking in and buddy buddy.

    I don't want to think she'd do it on purpose but a part of me isn't sure...
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
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    Maybe she wants to see what youa re eating by asking you to go to lunch with her. You could order healthy when you go out to eat too. Definitely keep saying no if you don't want the foods she offers, but I don't see the invitation to go out to eat as a sabotage attempt.
  • kateauch
    kateauch Posts: 195 Member
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    Thank her for the offer of all the food, but also tell her no thankyou, and please don't offer me these kind of food choices, I'm trying to eat healthier, and offer her your food choices......

    Good call. Thanks.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    I've dealt with it from co-workers...

    one little <insert object here> won't hurt you is what i got at the office a lot.

    I also got from family (mostly in-laws who are insecure and overweight themselves with no motivation to do anything...

    you can splurge it's a holiday
    I brought this food, you should eat it
    I've even gotten
    You've lost enough weight (I started at 280 this was at Xmas when I was only 35lbs down)
    and... I brought this food, you're making me feel bad by not eating it.

    I all situations (my husband has even tried to sabotage me on occasion) I try to eat what I want to eat, smallest plate possible, or I say, "no thank you". Nothing more - no reasons, no excuses, no justification. Your polite rejection should be enough.
  • ChapinaGrande
    ChapinaGrande Posts: 289 Member
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    Can't you go to lunch with her and order something healthier? Or order something non-healthier with healthy adaptations--no cheese, low fat dressing, double vegetables, etc? Maybe she tries to show affection through food (I'm guilty of this) and wants to be friends and this is the only way she knows how.

    Or maybe she's sabotaging you. Hard to tell.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    When she offers you candy and fried food say, "I am working hard at making changes in the things I eat. Please stop offering me unhealthy food all the time."

    Also, if she invites you out to lunch you can always offer up a healthier suggestion, or just make good choices when you do go out to eat with her. It could be that she is just trying to get to know you better.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Why are you so quick to yell "sabotage"? Maybe she wants to get to know you better...since you do have to work with her, and all.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    She's jealous because you're 8-10 years younger and the maintenance crew compliments you. Watch your back.
  • sheclimbsrocks
    sheclimbsrocks Posts: 110 Member
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    I seldom eat out around my work place just because I am surrounded by unhealthy foods. People do ask me to go out to lunch, so I explain to them that I have a severe food allergy and am vegan (half truths), and offer to brown bag lunch with them somewhere so that we can sit together and talk. Food is a social thing. They are probably just trying to be friendly.
  • kuntry_navy
    kuntry_navy Posts: 677 Member
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    i think it's the way their generation was brought up. to give sweets as thanks and such. say no politely, but if she really starts to hassle you. being rude may make her mad, but it works
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    "No, thank you" is a complete sentence. Explanations are not necessary.

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