Coworker attempting sabotage...
kateauch
Posts: 195 Member
So I work in a small office and I'm the youngest employee by a good 8-10 years. Despite my chunky figure, our maintenance crew often compliments me on my appearance at which point I try to graciously thank them and change the subject.
Because of this and my new dedicated efforts ditch my overweight body in the past month, I think I've brought out some jealousy in a few coworkers.
I have noticed one of my heavier lady coworkers will offer me fried foods, candy and ask if I want to go to lunch with her more often now that I'm eating better. I don't want to think she's doing this consciously but it's getting to the point where I'm turning her down repeatedly throughout the day and it only seems to make her try harder.
How do I politely but firmly say enough is enough? Who else has had to deal with this?
ETA:
Yeah, she's aware that I'm trying to eat better.
Like today I had my salad and went for a walk at lunch and she came back with Carl's Jr, asked if I "was a good girl" and had my salad today to which I said yes.
Then she offered me french fries.
Also- I go out with her 1/2 times a week. Our desks are back to back. We see each other quite a bit. I'm friendly just getting fed up with "Thanks but no" routine.
Because of this and my new dedicated efforts ditch my overweight body in the past month, I think I've brought out some jealousy in a few coworkers.
I have noticed one of my heavier lady coworkers will offer me fried foods, candy and ask if I want to go to lunch with her more often now that I'm eating better. I don't want to think she's doing this consciously but it's getting to the point where I'm turning her down repeatedly throughout the day and it only seems to make her try harder.
How do I politely but firmly say enough is enough? Who else has had to deal with this?
ETA:
Yeah, she's aware that I'm trying to eat better.
Like today I had my salad and went for a walk at lunch and she came back with Carl's Jr, asked if I "was a good girl" and had my salad today to which I said yes.
Then she offered me french fries.
Also- I go out with her 1/2 times a week. Our desks are back to back. We see each other quite a bit. I'm friendly just getting fed up with "Thanks but no" routine.
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Replies
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Just politely say no any time you want.
I doubt she's intentionally trying to make you gain weight, but anything is possible. She might just want a friend to eat with her. Try not to view her as a villain and maybe just someone trying in their own way to be nice.0 -
Or it could be that you are more "popular" and she simply wants to be friends...0
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have you offered her your foods? or to have her eat out with you? maybe she is curious about how you're eating?0
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I would simply be honest and say "Sorry, not trying to ditch you, but I'm eating a specific diet right now for health reasons".0
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So I work in a small office and I'm the youngest employee by a good 8-10 years. Despite my chunky figure, our maintenance crew often compliments me on my appearance at which point I try to graciously thank them and change the subject.
Because of this and my new dedicated efforts ditch my overweight body in the past month, I think I've brought out some jealousy in a few coworkers.
I have noticed one of my heavier lady coworkers will offer me fried foods, candy and ask if I want to go to lunch with her more often now that I'm eating better. I don't want to think she's doing this consciously but it's getting to the point where I'm turning her down repeatedly throughout the day and it only seems to make her try harder.
How do I politely but firmly say enough is enough? Who else has had to deal with this?
Def sounds like sabotage as fried foods, candy and lunches at restaurants = instafat0 -
You could just straight up tell her that you're trying to better your eating habits, that you'll be packing your own lunches so she should stop wasting her time offering you food. Not exactly polite, but she'll get the point.0
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Are you turning her down because 1) you'd rather do your own thing at lunch, or 2) because you think she's trying to sabotage your healthy eating? If it's 1), just keep repeating yourself as others have said. If it's 2), maybe go out with her a time or two, but stick to your macros. Maybe once she sees that you're serious about your health, she'll leave you alone.0
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Tell her you're on a diet and trying to eat good.
She'll get the point eventually.0 -
Thank her for the offer of all the food, but also tell her no thankyou, and please don't offer me these kind of food choices, I'm trying to eat healthier, and offer her your food choices......0
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She's definitely the person I'm closest to in the office and she has a very "mama bear" personality so there's a lot of checking in and buddy buddy.
I don't want to think she'd do it on purpose but a part of me isn't sure...0 -
Maybe she wants to see what youa re eating by asking you to go to lunch with her. You could order healthy when you go out to eat too. Definitely keep saying no if you don't want the foods she offers, but I don't see the invitation to go out to eat as a sabotage attempt.0
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Thank her for the offer of all the food, but also tell her no thankyou, and please don't offer me these kind of food choices, I'm trying to eat healthier, and offer her your food choices......
Good call. Thanks.0 -
I've dealt with it from co-workers...
one little <insert object here> won't hurt you is what i got at the office a lot.
I also got from family (mostly in-laws who are insecure and overweight themselves with no motivation to do anything...
you can splurge it's a holiday
I brought this food, you should eat it
I've even gotten
You've lost enough weight (I started at 280 this was at Xmas when I was only 35lbs down)
and... I brought this food, you're making me feel bad by not eating it.
I all situations (my husband has even tried to sabotage me on occasion) I try to eat what I want to eat, smallest plate possible, or I say, "no thank you". Nothing more - no reasons, no excuses, no justification. Your polite rejection should be enough.0 -
Can't you go to lunch with her and order something healthier? Or order something non-healthier with healthy adaptations--no cheese, low fat dressing, double vegetables, etc? Maybe she tries to show affection through food (I'm guilty of this) and wants to be friends and this is the only way she knows how.
Or maybe she's sabotaging you. Hard to tell.0 -
When she offers you candy and fried food say, "I am working hard at making changes in the things I eat. Please stop offering me unhealthy food all the time."
Also, if she invites you out to lunch you can always offer up a healthier suggestion, or just make good choices when you do go out to eat with her. It could be that she is just trying to get to know you better.0 -
Why are you so quick to yell "sabotage"? Maybe she wants to get to know you better...since you do have to work with her, and all.0
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She's jealous because you're 8-10 years younger and the maintenance crew compliments you. Watch your back.0
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I seldom eat out around my work place just because I am surrounded by unhealthy foods. People do ask me to go out to lunch, so I explain to them that I have a severe food allergy and am vegan (half truths), and offer to brown bag lunch with them somewhere so that we can sit together and talk. Food is a social thing. They are probably just trying to be friendly.0
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i think it's the way their generation was brought up. to give sweets as thanks and such. say no politely, but if she really starts to hassle you. being rude may make her mad, but it works0
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"No, thank you" is a complete sentence. Explanations are not necessary.0
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Sounds like she's just being nice.
If I wanted to sabotage someone's weight loss I'd recalibrate their food scale or something.
Not offer to take them to lunch0 -
Yeah, she's aware that I'm trying to eat better.
Like today I had my salad and went for a walk at lunch and she came back with Carl's Jr, asked if I "was a good girl" and had my salad today to which I said yes.
Then she offered me french fries.
I'm so confused!
Also- I go out with her 1/2 times a week. Our desks are back to back. We see each other quite a bit.0 -
Have you tried suggesting another place to eat at lunch? This is assuming, of course, you want to eat lunch with her.0
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It amazes me that as adults, people can't figure out how to deal with every day life.
Politely say no.
It's not that hard...seriously...0 -
I have kind of the same situation, I dont have a ton to lose, i started w/ wanting to lose 15 pounds, but the pressure to eat at my job is HUGE! It's noone specific,just soo much food here and noone else thats watching their weight! Its hard to eat my turkey sandwich when everyone else is chowing down on good stuff!0
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I have yet to hear any evidence of her attempting to sabotage you. Do you realize how difficult it would be for someone else to intentionally sabotage your weight-loss goals? They would have to force you, either against your will or by tricking you, to eat something you didn't want to eat. Wearing down your resolve, that's not sabotage. That's her being stronger than you.
My guess is that what's happening is that she likes you and just wants to have lunch with you. My advice, if you want her to stop, is to say "Sure, let's go to -" and name some crazy vegan restaurant she'd never go to in a million years.0 -
No thanks is good enough. If you feel like it, you could bring something healthy but yummy and offer to share with her. Maybe she's intimidated by the changes you've made because she doesn't think she is capable of it.0
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There's really no way around this. You either solve the problem now or later... but it must be solved, because in the end it's only you putting food into your mouth.
You are always going to be around people who don't have your health goals in mind. You might go to a party, or holiday dinner with family. Worse, you might be in a place like a sporting event or food court where the companies are TRYING to get you to purchase and eat as much high-calorie addictive junk as possible.
You'll know that you've made it when you simply don't care anymore.
I say, view it as a challenge. Can you eat out at a restaurant and still keep a decent calorie goal? Can you go with your friends and order elsewhere? Can you make the food do your bidding instead of the other way around?0 -
I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand
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Did she do this before you decided to lose weight, or are you just noticing it more now that you are?
Also, have you let everyone know you are losing weight?0
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