Death...what do you think about it--or do you?
NewLIFEstyle4ME
Posts: 4,440 Member
in Chit-Chat
Wow! I'm in shock. One of my older neighbors just dropped in to tell me about another older neighbor who moved from the neighborhood and few years ago, to let me know she'd be coming in town soon and to see if I wanted to join them for lunch. That's nice, but what she told me next is why I started this thread.
She then told me, in an extremely casual way that she had contacted our old neighbor to let her know that so-and-so had died.
She told me this in the exact same manner and way that one would casually ask how one is doing, or that I'm having tacos for dinner--so casual it shocked the mess outaof me. I asked her how she could so causally share this, seeing she was her friend and neighbor for soooo many years. She then told me, "I know, she was so very young too and explained how she died. No sorrow, no pity, no anger, no joy, no nothing--just a matter of fact--the same way someone would announce a new goldfish they had had died. This woman that died was extremely popular in our town (or so I'd always thought). The announcement of her death was written in the paper (my neighbor told me), but I haven't been reading the papers like I used to--so I didn't have a clue.
Anyway...when I googled up her name...she only had one person to comment about her on her obituary...just ONE!
That is so shocking to me. I didn't know this woman personally--but she was an acquaintance and again, well known about town (in a very good way), but whenever we'd see each other, would wave hi or give the casual greeting and smiles. She moved out of the neighborhood before we got here, but again, she was extremely well-known and popular around town, as a successful business woman.
WOW.....she is/was also MY AGE....in her 50's. She was extremely active, attractive and slim and trim and seemingly had it ALL....she died from complication of some medical issues she was having taken care of in the hospital last month.
So to my question....DEATH???!!??? What do you think about it (for yourself and others/known and unknown)--what do you think about it....or do you?
She then told me, in an extremely casual way that she had contacted our old neighbor to let her know that so-and-so had died.
She told me this in the exact same manner and way that one would casually ask how one is doing, or that I'm having tacos for dinner--so casual it shocked the mess outaof me. I asked her how she could so causally share this, seeing she was her friend and neighbor for soooo many years. She then told me, "I know, she was so very young too and explained how she died. No sorrow, no pity, no anger, no joy, no nothing--just a matter of fact--the same way someone would announce a new goldfish they had had died. This woman that died was extremely popular in our town (or so I'd always thought). The announcement of her death was written in the paper (my neighbor told me), but I haven't been reading the papers like I used to--so I didn't have a clue.
Anyway...when I googled up her name...she only had one person to comment about her on her obituary...just ONE!
That is so shocking to me. I didn't know this woman personally--but she was an acquaintance and again, well known about town (in a very good way), but whenever we'd see each other, would wave hi or give the casual greeting and smiles. She moved out of the neighborhood before we got here, but again, she was extremely well-known and popular around town, as a successful business woman.
WOW.....she is/was also MY AGE....in her 50's. She was extremely active, attractive and slim and trim and seemingly had it ALL....she died from complication of some medical issues she was having taken care of in the hospital last month.
So to my question....DEATH???!!??? What do you think about it (for yourself and others/known and unknown)--what do you think about it....or do you?
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Replies
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What do you mean "what do I think about it"?
I think that it happens to everyone, and it sucks.0 -
I'm a Christian so naturally I know I'm going to heaven. However, that does not mean I want to go now. I think you shouldn't worry about dying and live everyday to the fullest.0
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Death... what do I think about it?
It's going to get each and every one of us. And I'm not going to care if only one person comments on my obits... I really won't.0 -
im the type of person who thinks about death constantly. sometimes more than others, but i usually think about it every few days. im pretty anxious naturally. i dont know how much the average person thinks of it. im only 25 but i want to be as healthy as possible and live to be an old age.
i think its something everyone thinks about occasionally, as it happens to all of us (unless you are immortal... i dont judge)0 -
really don't think about death anymore since I have come close several times.i no longer fear it and
accept that death comes to every living thing.so I try to live my life the best I can. and am enjoy every
sunrise and sunset.:)0 -
I think more about conciousness than death, I just can't imagine not existing anymore, I also can't imagine existing forever in some form or another, it really makes my brain tired to think about it. It just doesn't make sense to me that you would go to heaven for eternity but it also doesn't make sense that we just stop existing. I like the idea of reincarnation, your conciousness still exists and even though it goes on and on it's not quite so mind numbing because you don't remember the lives you have had before........okay my brain is really friggin tired again.0
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It is inevitable. I'm not afraid of it, although I do plan to try to avoid it for as long as possible.0
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What I think about death?
It is one of the only (if not only) certainty in life. Some die sooner than later. It's never fair for the ones left behind.
My mom died from cancer two weeks ago. I've thought about death A LOT these past 10 months. Death will always come. And how you deal with it is your own choice. My mom wasn't afraid. She faced her death with courage and even chose her own moment to go (euthanasia).
For the people who are left behind it is the hardest. But I have a choice too, and I choose to enjoy life, so I can tell her all about it when I see her again. On her deathbed we spoke about how we woud see eachother again one day, and how I hope she will come to welcome me.
Just make the best of life and don't fear death. You can't beat it anyway.0 -
death is no biggie.
it's the time preceding death that is important.0 -
I live with chronic illness. I've lived by being hooked up to machines. I have new diagnoses all the time to explain why my body works the way it does.
What do I think of death?
I know I will be ready for it. Probably sooner than medical science runs out on me. I'd love to be free of pain and fear. I'd love to have no ties to this mortal meatsack. I'd love to get rid of the inner monologue and all ties to humanity. Respite.
Death of others hurts. Many of my friends are also living with disabilities, and I've watched a few bow out these past years. In the long run, though, I'm mostly concerned with my own, and I'm not above choosing it.0 -
One can try to avoid it but it always happens and everyone else's life goes on.0
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I'm losing a lot of people lately so... death sucks. These are the things I've learned in the last 2 years:
- Have a healthcare surrogate who can actually go through with pulling the plug should you want that to happen. Sometimes who you've assigned to do it won't be able to in the heat of the moment, especially if they can be morally conflicted. Really think about this.
- Don't commit suicide. Even when you think no one cares, someone does, and you're destroying a lot of lives in the process. Your wife shouldn't have to lie to your small children about how you died.
- Stop acting like life's too short - sometimes you make that *kitten* short yourself. Your mom shouldn't have to bury you. Stop eating like you're not moments away from your next meal, especially if you have other risk factors involved in the first place. Stop smoking. Don't tell me your wife wouldn't have rather spent her golden years with you than without you. Shaving 20 years off your life makes a big difference when you drop dead in your 50s.
- Make it so your family doesn't have to pay for your funeral or cremation. The fact that you kicked the bucket is hard enough to deal with.
- Don't JUST pray for people or "keep them in your thoughts". That comforts you, no one else. Go over to the friend whose husband died and bring her something to eat, take her mind off her troubles for a few minutes.0 -
I used to be a funeral director/embalmer, so obviously I'd been around it a ton. I figured I had a pretty good handle on it, until my grandmother died last year. The circumstances slapped me in the face so hard, it's literally been life-altering.
It's inevitable, and for the most part, unpredictable. Although in terms of my own mortality, I don't really think about it - I'm of the opinion that "when it's my time, it's my time. "0 -
Thanks for cheering us up, OP! :flowerforyou:0
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It's part of the circle of life. nothing more, nothing less.
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I'm a Christian so naturally I know I'm going to heaven. However, that does not mean I want to go now. I think you shouldn't worry about dying and live everyday to the fullest.
Amen!
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My father died early due to a stubborn refusal to address his own health. He ate and smoked himself into an early grave and because of it, he died from a relatively minor injury. Like a lot of folks, I think he believed that death would not really come for him.
Since he died, I quit smoking for good, changed my diet, began exercising regularly, and even started sleeping more..
More people should give death some serious thought. They might just find that they choose to live better.0 -
I tend to react matter of factly to death as well. It's just easier to deal with that way. I wouldn't judge how she really feels by the way she talked to you on one occasion.0
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Saturday was the three-year "anniversary" (I hate that word in association with death and tragedy) of my husband's death. Death sucks.
One thing I did learn is that people deal with death in different ways. Some people are more compartmentalized than others. It doesn't mean that they don't care or they don't feel or grieve, they just handle it differently.0 -
What I think about death?
It is one of the only (if not only) certainty in life. Some die sooner than later. It's never fair for the ones left behind.
My mom died from cancer two weeks ago. I've thought about death A LOT these past 10 months. Death will always come. And how you deal with it is your own choice. My mom wasn't afraid. She faced her death with courage and even chose her own moment to go (euthanasia).
For the people who are left behind it is the hardest. But I have a choice too, and I choose to enjoy life, so I can tell her all about it when I see her again. On her deathbed we spoke about how we woud see eachother again one day, and how I hope she will come to welcome me.
Just make the best of life and don't fear death. You can't beat it anyway.
I am so sorry. Big hugs from me.0 -
I probably think about it too much. I find the process fascinating and the decay interesting. I've been lucky though the people in my life who passed were older and it was expected. I took my miscarriage hard, and the loss of that baby. I guess it's life no one said it would be fair.0
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I plan on living forever............or else die trying!!0
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Death sucks for those that were close to the loved one that passes, other than that...
I like the saying... "I will feel the same way after I die as I felt before I was born. Don't worry about then. Enjoy now!0 -
I'm a Christian so naturally I know I'm going to heaven. However, that does not mean I want to go now. I think you shouldn't worry about dying and live everyday to the fullest.
:smooched: :drinker: :flowerforyou:
:smooched: :flowerforyou::drinker: :smooched: 0 -
It is inevitable. I'm not afraid of it, although I do plan to try to avoid it for as long as possible.
:flowerforyou: :smooched: :flowerforyou: 0 -
death is no biggie.
it's the time preceding death that is important.
:drinker: :smooched:
:smooched: :smooched: :drinker: 0 -
I tend to react matter of factly to death as well. It's just easier to deal with that way. I wouldn't judge how she really feels by the way she talked to you on one occasion.
:drinker: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :drinker: 0 -
It's one of the great motivators of my lifestyle change. I was eating and drinking and smoking my way to an early grave about 7 months ago. My newly acquired dietary and fitness habits have completely reversed all of my bad blood work and at 38 I feel more like 30...7 months ago I felt like I was more like 60. I've also gone from 6 different meds to 1. I'm pretty sure I've added a few more years to my life at this point. I just want to be around and be healthy to watch my kiddos grow up and be around to take care of them.0
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The idea of ME dying doesn't frighten me. It's been a rough road and I think, when the time comes, I'll be grateful to lay down the sword. Come eternal oblivion or an afterlife - either way, it's bound to be more peaceful.
The idea of my loved ones (pets included) dying DOES frighten me, though. The grieving process, the loss, the life both lived and wished they'd lived is a very messy thing for the survivors around them to move through. And I don't think it ever **quite** stops aching.
As I get older, I am learning that, too, is part of the process.
Death is one of my favorite subjects to think about. And I love having dates, dinners, just hanging out in graveyards. I find it calming. Places that remind me even in passing, some things left behind are still beautiful.
All that said, I'm still quite young. 32. My nonchalance about Death might change as I get closer to an older, natural Death. (I felt that way about gray hairs, telling everyone in my 20's I'd celebrate them. But when they finally did show up, I spent a week freaking out!)0 -
As you get older and you have more and more friends, family, and aquaintences pass, I won't say you become numb to the experience, but you have a deeper understanding of the circle of life and you are less shocked.
I have had two very dear friends and a few family members pass in just the last few months. One VERy unexpectedly - like playing tennis with him one day, in the hospital with stage 4 cancer the next, and gone before I even got to see him.0
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