Negative Comments about weight loss.
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workout_fish
Posts: 67 Member
So over these last few months I have come SO CLOSE to reaching my goal. I am only 3 pounds away!! And while I know that 3 pounds wont make much of a difference when it comes to how I look, i just want to be able to get there to say that I did it. I started my journey over 4 years ago (yeah...thats a long time) and the last 20 pounds have been the hardest. I know that everyone on here knows how hard it can be to get in shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Well apparently since i have lost almost all of the last 20 pounds people around me are now assuming that I dont eat and its REALLY frustrating (my diary is open BTW...so you can clearly see i DONT have a problem with that). Everytime I go visit my parents i get "oh your getting so skinny, when are you going to stop." And its not said in a positive way. Or people will comment on recent pictures of me on facebook with 'oh we need to feed you a sandwich.' This is so frustrating to me!! Instead of saying something positive, it seems like people try and knock you down for making healthy choices in your life like its not attainable unless im doing something unhealthy to get it. I eat healthy, i eat enough and occasionally i even indugle a little bit...but I also work my F*#%ING *kitten* off everyday to be able to steadily lose weight. It's not really rocket science. The people who tend to say these things are themselves over weight and generally lead an unhealthy lifestyle, so who the hell are they to talk and try and tear ME down?! How can i deal with these people in a constructive way without being a complete ***** to them and tellying them how i *really* feel??
I totally just rambled and ranted...but I feel better now.
Well apparently since i have lost almost all of the last 20 pounds people around me are now assuming that I dont eat and its REALLY frustrating (my diary is open BTW...so you can clearly see i DONT have a problem with that). Everytime I go visit my parents i get "oh your getting so skinny, when are you going to stop." And its not said in a positive way. Or people will comment on recent pictures of me on facebook with 'oh we need to feed you a sandwich.' This is so frustrating to me!! Instead of saying something positive, it seems like people try and knock you down for making healthy choices in your life like its not attainable unless im doing something unhealthy to get it. I eat healthy, i eat enough and occasionally i even indugle a little bit...but I also work my F*#%ING *kitten* off everyday to be able to steadily lose weight. It's not really rocket science. The people who tend to say these things are themselves over weight and generally lead an unhealthy lifestyle, so who the hell are they to talk and try and tear ME down?! How can i deal with these people in a constructive way without being a complete ***** to them and tellying them how i *really* feel??
I totally just rambled and ranted...but I feel better now.
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Replies
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Dont let wht those people say derail you! You've done an AWSOME job and you should be congratulated. Maybe people just aren't used to the new healthy you yet! They may not be used to the changes you've made.
Congrats on all your hard work! And try not to sweat those last 3 LB too much! They will come off eventually just like the rest of it. Like you said slow and steady, and thats GOOD! WAY TO GO!!!!1 -
People themselves are unhealthy and/or overweight, and you are reminder to them about that. You post that picture and they see it so they have to comment something bad to make themselves feel better. Not even consciously, most of the time it isn't, they may not even know that what they write makes you feel bad.
Sometimes they convince themselves that it is unhealthy to do this just to have an excuse not to, cos they are too weak minded to get there. If anything you should be proud of yourself, not annoyed, when you see hate comments cos that means that they envy you.0 -
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and got accused of every level of eating disorder. Funny, because I was still in the upper limit of the healthy range for my weight and I was eating a normal deficit to lose weight.
Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.2 -
Man, it's YOUR goal... keep going till you reach it. No one else's opinion matters.0
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Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.
Thanks for putting it into perspective for me!0 -
Yeah, I think it's a bit of jealousy that they haven't admitted to themselves, so they take passive aggressive jabs at the successful, thinner, healthier person they envy and want to be like.
Also, sometimes people get used to you being heavier, so that when you lose weight they think you're now too thin. They think that someone is too small or has gotten sickly, or that he or she has a bigger build and shouldn't look like that, etc. They only have this view because they knew you as bigger. If you just met someone, they would assume you'd always been that way and would think you looked fine. Try not to worry about it because people are always going to say off the wall things.1 -
I know that is SO frustrating. I have about 41 pounds to go and I've stopped telling people how many I have to go because they all gasp and say "you can't possibly have that much more to lose..." It's frustrating...my end goal is a healthy 150 to 145 pounds....I really don't think that's a bad goal....so I totally know what you are talking about....0
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Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.
^^^ Yes. All of that.0 -
Tell them (maybe with a bit of snark in your voice) that you TRULY appreciate their concern for your health but that your doctor says your incredibly healthy, that you feel fantastic. Tell them you've worked very hard to get where you are. Then you can tell them you've used MFP to help you manage your program and you'd be happy to provide them with the site info. They'll get the hint. Congrats, by the way!0
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I have people asking me when I'll stop (whatever that means), saying I'm too thin, etc too. My MIL started getting worried I was getting too thin when I was still like 10-20 lbs overweight! I've had people thinner than me and bigger than me make comments like this. I've never yet had someone tell me to eat a sandwich thankfully!0
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Maybe the people that are not positive are jealous that you are getting in shape and are leading a healthier lifestyle then they do. I know when I want to binge it makes me feel better if others around me are doing the same thing. And if someone else is eating healthy then I am much more inclined to do the same as well. Maybe you make them feel guilty that they are not leading the same lifestyle.
Don't let them bring you down. Enjoy your success!
Tina
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/12853-truly-committed-boot-camp0 -
How can i deal with these people in a constructive way without being a complete ***** to them and tellying them how i *really* feel??
IMO the most appropriate responses are A- "blow me," and B- "why, so I can look like you? No thanks."1 -
Most people do not have control over their weight and with so many people overweight the idea of what is healthy can get skewed. With the average weight of Americans on the rise, someone in a healthy range may look a tad too thin. If we were all thin and healthy that wouldn't be the case.
Since there are so many people that are battling (and failing) at weightloss they are likely to criticize and try to sabatoge those that are succeeding. Consider this - if they are overweight and your're thin in comparison, that will make them look bigger, right?
The key is to be happy and healthy... as long as your that let the nay-sayers fall to the wayside... And if anyone asks or questions your eating "turn the tables" and ask them what THEY ate today?? How to THEY feel? I doubt they will be bringing up the subject anymore...0 -
So, coming at that from another perspective, it may very well that your parents think you're not going to stop. I understand what everyone is saying here, but it's not always jealousy or insecurity that causes people to make such comments. I have a sister who is very health conscious and works very hard to maintain her current weight, but honestly, she does look a little thinner than I think looks good on her frame. It's none of my business, and I've not said anything to her directly about it, but she's gone from plump, to thin to ... too thin. And while you made not come across this way, my sister comes across as if looks are the only thing that matters. She doesn't ever bring up the health benefits of what she does (and honestly, I sometimes question whether there ARE health benefits to what she does), her only focus is the way she looks. I know my parents are concerned because it seems every time we see her, she's thinner than she was the last time.
Recently, she's posted a couple of photos of herself on FB, and I can see the muscle definition that she has - which is not something I normally see on her because of the way she dresses. And I think, as long as she keeps the muscle, she's probably just fine. Realize, however, my sister is 5'5" and probably about 130 lbs, but has such bad body dysmorphia that she would never be seen in a two piece bathing suit, or any sort of revealing clothing at all. She's also had minor issues with ED. All of that adds to the concern.
The next time your parents ask you how much more you want to lose, or if you're going to stop, don't say something like, Just three more pounds. Instead just say, I'm pretty much done, and let it go at that.0 -
Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.
Thanks for putting it into perspective for me!0 -
I thnk there's kind of an assumption that anyone who loses more than say 20-30 pounds altogether must be doing it dangerously. Lots of people "go on a diet" or suddenly start exercising, it's tough and they can't keep it up, so anyone who CAN keep it up must be eating nothing at all or over-exercising or something bad. It's probably also a method of helping them feel better about their own inability to change their lifestyles; "Well, sure, she lost that much weight but she's probably not doing it in a healthy way, I'm better staying a little overweight than having to work liek SHE does"
Just ignore 'em, keep on keepin' on, and I hope you get that last 3!0 -
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and got accused of every level of eating disorder. Funny, because I was still in the upper limit of the healthy range for my weight and I was eating a normal deficit to lose weight.
Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.
So true.0 -
How can i deal with these people in a constructive way without being a complete ***** to them and tellying them how i *really* feel??
IMO the most appropriate responses are A- "blow me," and B- "why, so I can look like you? No thanks."
Why I wouldn't exactly choose those words, I would probably say to my morbidly obese friend (term used lightly) if she commented about my dedication would be "I just don't want to be a morbidly obese person who doesn't take good care of herself and ends up in the hospital having to get abdominal surgery for things such as hernias that wouldn't have been necessary had I just decided to start eating right and exercise on a regular basis."2 -
I agree.0
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Here's the thing: They will talk about you if you're fat, they will talk about you if your skinny, and they will make fun of you if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. Screw their opinions.
^^^ Yes. All of that.
Exactly --- and too often ppl associated weight loss with deprevation which is not true0
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