Goodbye!!

LMT2012
LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have seen several threads about asking for a note when you send a friend request (something I do not require). There is a lot of opinion about the etiquette surrounding this and that it allows control over your friend list (also something I don't feel strongly about).
What are your feelings on asking folks to send a message before they DELETE you as a friend? Perhaps it would be good manners to let a "friend" know why you no longer wish to see them on your feed. Why they are cluttering up your MFP life enough to be sent into oblivion. (for the last time, I would never do or require this...just putting it out there as debate topic)
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Replies

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Ahhh...we used to call that 'poofing', when a person just deletes without anything said. Then you have those that have to continually announce they are leaving everywhere, several times, which is probably more annoying.

    I dunno. Really it is neither here nor there for me.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    I deleted about 100 people on my friends list yesterday. I have been on these forums for years and had way too many people on my list that haven't been active in months and years, even.

    I don't require a note to friend you, or any of that other stuff. Just wanted to clean a big list that had inactive people.
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
    I just delete people that don't talk to me or that aren't active other than logging. Why even have friends? I get you want a "good job" on your diary, but if you don't do it for me I won't do it for you. You have to bring something to the table. I'm going to clean out my list today from people that I don't interact with. There will be no message sent because they most likely won't notice anyway. If they do, they can feel free to send one asking why.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    I have deleted people (reluctantly), but ONLY if they are inactive for over a month. At that point I figure they've found a new site, got a new handle, or died. Don't really give a rat's booty about the "nice job" posts. I am interested in specific posts about NSVs, genuine questions etc. I will admit to enjoying the feed when it contains actual lbs lost etc, but not really commenting.
    Some people really stand out in a crowd, and I do appreciate all of my friends here.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I don't or wouldn't take it personally that's for sure.

    Maybe someone wants to "nail" down their list to an actual core of people they converse with?

    Maybe they have so damn many friends they can't even follow their feeds when they try?

    Maybe they just don't like me?

    Whatever the reason they delete...it's their choice, I'm not going to judge them. I hope they sustain and acheive their weight loss goals, regardless if I'm on their friends list or not!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Meh. Most people I delete haven't been on for weeks, so I doubt they would notice at all.
  • Svolt
    Svolt Posts: 284 Member
    Meh. Most people I delete haven't been on for weeks, so I doubt they would notice at all.

    ^^^^ I delete people who complain too much for attention and those who are not supportive or active.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Define "supportive". I genuinely want to know what that looks like.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    In a society that texts when they break up, you're asking a lot.
  • MSam1205
    MSam1205 Posts: 439 Member
    Define "supportive". I genuinely want to know what that looks like.

    Supportive to me is at least a comment now or then on my activity, positive or constructive criticism. It does not have to be every day, but once in a while would let me know they see and recognize me! I did delete 1 person who only went on about herself, her job, etc etc. When I looked at her profile, she posted a lot but no comments on any of her friends pages. Was never sure why she wanted to be friends in the first place either.

    I keep my list of friends relatively short, but I see value in each one of them and hope they see something of the same!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    I have no rules, regulations or expectations from anyone in my list or trying to get on my list. I don't care if anyone on my list has rules, regulations or expectations for me. All I do is chat a little, give kudos occasionally and read my feed from time to time. I don't know what this says about me but I doubt it's going to change.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    honestly, it is so pretentious. You either want to support them on their journey, or you don't. I honestly don't notice who deletes me or who adds me unless they post. I -sometimes- clean up my list with those that haven't logged on in like 1year or more, but really, why do I do that? It is not like I will run out of space for awesome friends!
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    I have no rules, regulations or expectations from anyone in my list or trying to get on my list. I don't care if anyone on my list has rules, regulations or expectations for me. All I do is chat a little, give kudos occasionally and read my feed from time to time. I don't know what this says about me but I doubt it's going to change.

    Pretty much me too
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I delete people because it makes feel powerful and makes up for what I lack...

    Of course I do regret a few of the people I have deleted..
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    In a society that texts when they break up, you're asking a lot.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    This
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I delete people that havent been on for months. I dont send a note why I am deleting them. People have deleted me. I had one delete me and we talked on personal mail and I always encouraged her.

    In the whole scheme of things if I dont KNOW you personally like we haven't met in person I dont give a sh$t if you delete me or not. I am still going to log and exercise and do what i need to do.

    I have deleted people that constantly talk about themselves every second of the day bombarding my news feed to the point i couldnt see anyone else. I gave her a month until I couldnt take her anymore!!!! LOL!!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I honestly don't care.
  • Royalsbatwench
    Royalsbatwench Posts: 117 Member
    I recently got a couple of Dear John pms because I hadn't been on for three weeks. It's cool. I was busy falling apart in life. But now I've got a handle on it and I'm back. I prefer to just be defriended with no note. I don't take it personally until I get the "when you can commit yourself again refriend me." Yeah, no. Just no. If this is anything like dating I may end up dying a single old woman.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    i've been cut before. it would only "sting" if i thought i was friends with said person. but i cut people pretty regularly--those who don't interact with me for weeks and months--even a year--at a time. it's like, why bother being friends?
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025 Member
    I honestly don't care.

    Yup.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    I someone deletes me because we don't interact, I won't be offended. I don't need them to message me.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I delete, because my list gets out of control at times, so those I never interact with or who don't interact with me are usually the ones I cut. Nothing personal.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    YOLO, DELTE!

    YOLO.gif
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    Send a message before deleting?

    tumblr_lqicspkGJv1qkhcwno1_500.gif
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    I have seen several threads about asking for a note when you send a friend request (something I do not require). There is a lot of opinion about the etiquette surrounding this and that it allows control over your friend list (also something I don't feel strongly about).
    What are your feelings on asking folks to send a message before they DELETE you as a friend? Perhaps it would be good manners to let a "friend" know why you no longer wish to see them on your feed. Why they are cluttering up your MFP life enough to be sent into oblivion. (for the last time, I would never do or require this...just putting it out there as debate topic)

    I just deleted a few people recently. They had been inactive for 25+ days.
    I don't see the need to send a message saying why since they probably won't even notice.

    ETA: I have noticed that I am no longer friends with some people because they deleted me. I don't take offense. I don't care. Do what works for you. Have whatever friends you want on your list. If I don't make the cut, who cares!? I am not going to be offended by a stranger on the internet. :huh:
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    tumblr_lolvkmVq0T1qa9oiyo1_500.png

    I don't delete people often. Sometimes I will if they go inactive for a long time, if they annoy me, or if I just don't feel like we have anything to offer one another. It's not that big of a deal. You can't expect to be interesting to or interested in everyone you come into contact with. Don't really want, or feel compelled to send a message either. The deletion says enough, and if you're not that close with each other, it doesn't really matter.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    I don't consider MFP to be a variation of 'the book of faces' (where people seem to keep people forever, for reasons I don't understand. <I dont and shall never have a FB account>). I consider to be a train crossing to wherever. People get on, people get off, for reasons of their own. If I think your journey with me is done, if you aren't here pushing with me, then we part, no sad or bad feelings about it. No malice intended, either.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    I have deleted people (reluctantly), but ONLY if they are inactive for over a month. At that point I figure they've found a new site, got a new handle, or died. Don't really give a rat's booty about the "nice job" posts. I am interested in specific posts about NSVs, genuine questions etc. I will admit to enjoying the feed when it contains actual lbs lost etc, but not really commenting.
    Some people really stand out in a crowd, and I do appreciate all of my friends here.

    This.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    The only reason I add people is to delete them.

    I like imagining the expression on their face when I send this to their inbox

    awyeah_zpsd47ed0bc.png
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    The only reason I add people is to delete them.

    I like imagining the expression on their face when I send this to their inbox

    awyeah_zpsd47ed0bc.png

    To be fair, he sends the same thing in his FR's, but with a question mark on the end.

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