calling all cleansers/detoxers...

ndj1979
ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
edited January 24 in Health and Weight Loss
So I am curious what you all's favorite cleanse/detox is...as I am interested in cleansing myself. Please list the cleanse/detox method you use, what toxins it is removing, what the benefits are, and any additional comments that you would like to add...

thanks in advance!
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Replies

  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    I did the aspartame cleanse. Eat and drink only things that contain aspartame. I just drank litres of diet coke and chewed gum all day long. I feel so much better, my liver and kidney sent me a letter to say they were happy with me, my skin is clearer, I lost 5lbs of fat and gained 5lbs of muscle and put 10lbs on my bench 1rm. I say go for it!
  • JacksMom12
    JacksMom12 Posts: 1,044 Member
    I did the aspartame cleanse. Eat and drink only things that contain aspartame. I just drank litres of diet coke and chewed gum all day long. I feel so much better, my liver and kidney sent me a letter to say they were happy with me, my skin is clearer, I lost 5lbs of fat and gained 5lbs of muscle and put 10lbs on my bench 1rm. I say go for it!

    Lolz. But you forgot to tell us WHICH toxins it removed, like the OP asked.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    You mean like my yummy L'Occitane Milk Soap? That kind of cleanse? You have to use it every day on all your external parts.
  • phjorg1
    phjorg1 Posts: 642 Member
    there is no such thing as a detox program.

    Or that is to say, your liver already does detoxing for you. So you're already set for life. Perma detox program baby. All the other crap that people try and sell you is just to make money, but actually does nothing useful at best, and messes with your hormone levels at worst.

    If you want a fun time, ask those what toxins exactly are being detoxed that otherwise would not be. An indicator of BS will be their inability to answer.
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    I did the aspartame cleanse. Eat and drink only things that contain aspartame. I just drank litres of diet coke and chewed gum all day long. I feel so much better, my liver and kidney sent me a letter to say they were happy with me, my skin is clearer, I lost 5lbs of fat and gained 5lbs of muscle and put 10lbs on my bench 1rm. I say go for it!

    Lolz. But you forgot to tell us WHICH toxins it removed, like the OP asked.

    all the bad ones, clearly :tongue:
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    I did the aspartame cleanse. Eat and drink only things that contain aspartame. I just drank litres of diet coke and chewed gum all day long. I feel so much better, my liver and kidney sent me a letter to say they were happy with me, my skin is clearer, I lost 5lbs of fat and gained 5lbs of muscle and put 10lbs on my bench 1rm. I say go for it!

    Lolz. But you forgot to tell us WHICH toxins it removed, like the OP asked.

    all the bad ones, clearly :tongue:

    STRONG
  • michelle7673
    michelle7673 Posts: 370 Member
    I like those Tide capsules. I grease 'em up good with virgin coconut oil from Shangri-La and they go down beautifully.
    This has reduced my toxic sarcasm to (almost) zero.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I like those Tide capsules. I grease 'em up good with virgin coconut oil from Shangri-La and they go down beautifully.
    This has reduced my toxic sarcasm to (almost) zero.

    why would you want to reduce sarcasm?
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I did the aspartame cleanse. Eat and drink only things that contain aspartame. I just drank litres of diet coke and chewed gum all day long. I feel so much better, my liver and kidney sent me a letter to say they were happy with me, my skin is clearer, I lost 5lbs of fat and gained 5lbs of muscle and put 10lbs on my bench 1rm. I say go for it!

    Lolz. But you forgot to tell us WHICH toxins it removed, like the OP asked.

    all the bad ones, clearly :tongue:

    STRONG

    you got a list handy?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I heard if you drink nothing but raspberry ketones for a week, that you can increase muscle gains and burn body fat...any truth to that?
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Serious requests only!
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:
    chocolate cleanse..does that involve a lot exlax and toilet time?
  • sgrubby
    sgrubby Posts: 103 Member
    I swear by the Clorox cleanse, You drink 3 cups of bleach with a tablespoon of grade B maple syrup, kumquat juice and tabasco sauce. It cleans you right out.
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    I swear by the Clorox cleanse, You drink 3 cups of bleach with a tablespoon of grade B maple syrup, kumquat juice and tabasco sauce. It cleans you right out.

    Thanks, will try soon
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I swear by the Clorox cleanse, You drink 3 cups of bleach with a tablespoon of grade B maple syrup, kumquat juice and tabasco sauce. It cleans you right out.

    i think that is what I do to my AC unit ...are you sure?
  • michelle7673
    michelle7673 Posts: 370 Member
    I like those Tide capsules. I grease 'em up good with virgin coconut oil from Shangri-La and they go down beautifully.
    This has reduced my toxic sarcasm to (almost) zero.

    why would you want to reduce sarcasm?

    Busted. I don't, and it ain't working. Plus those raspberry ketones are NOT getting my laundry clean.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:

    ^^ This. I also drink diet soda daily, and give myself enema's with my leftover coffee. It helped me lose 100lbs in 7 days!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:
    chocolate cleanse..does that involve a lot exlax and toilet time?

    It usually involves york peppermint patties and/or talenti double dark chocolate gelato.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I did the husband cleanse once. Lost 170 pounds of fat and bullsh*t. It was really easy. You just take some paperwork, signatures and a judge. BOOM! *kitten*-be-gone!
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:

    ^^ This. I also drink diet soda daily, and give myself enema's with my leftover coffee. It helped me lose 100lbs in 7 days!

    interesting..do diet coke + chocolate = weight loss???? That might be new theory or relativity...
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    just cut out the stuff that is filled with chemicals and eat good veggies and lean proteins you'll do fine and it can be forever not a fad
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I did the husband cleanse once. Lost 170 pounds of fat and bullsh*t. It was really easy. You just take some paperwork, signatures and a judge. BOOM! *kitten*-be-gone!

    I heard that is expensive...
  • Jovette42
    Jovette42 Posts: 280 Member
    I've used the Ultimate Reset and it was good. No I am not a vegan but I like the foods www.myultimatereset.com/Jovette42 You can do it up to 4x a year but right now 1x works fine for me. I plan on doing it in Sep/Oct.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I do the chocolate cleanse pretty much daily. It rids me of . . . chocolate cravings. :bigsmile:
    chocolate cleanse..does that involve a lot exlax and toilet time?

    It usually involves york peppermint patties and/or talenti double dark chocolate gelato.

    mmmm talenti gelato ...

    OK now back to regular programming..

    come on people I want to hear from the real cleansers!!!! waaaaaa waaaa waaa LOL
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I did the husband cleanse once. Lost 170 pounds of fat and bullsh*t. It was really easy. You just take some paperwork, signatures and a judge. BOOM! *kitten*-be-gone!

    I heard that is expensive...

    I heard it can be, but in my case it was a couple hundred bucks and worked quick!
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    I take a toilet scrubber and scrub my insides. It's hard to get to my intestines, but it takes all the bacteria away and leaves me squeaky clean. I then follow with 10 days of the Master Cleanse. Nothing but lemon juice and maple syrup will work wonders for you.
  • michelle7673
    michelle7673 Posts: 370 Member
    I did the husband cleanse once. Lost 170 pounds of fat and bullsh*t. It was really easy. You just take some paperwork, signatures and a judge. BOOM! *kitten*-be-gone!

    I heard that is expensive...

    Well....speaking from experience....not as expensive as having the husband to begin with.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I did the husband cleanse once. Lost 170 pounds of fat and bullsh*t. It was really easy. You just take some paperwork, signatures and a judge. BOOM! *kitten*-be-gone!

    I heard that is expensive...

    Well....speaking from experience....not as expensive as having the husband to begin with.

    bahahahahahaha I like your style...
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtUB957xQloqpYIw31sJCDUMl3zTMjjyQOs5oNdfb973UxwCat
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