calling all cleansers/detoxers...

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Replies

  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I heard that crying is good for babies - it exercises their lungs.

    So, by analogy, bleeding must be good for the heart. And having a heavy alcohol load must be good for the liver. How else is it going to learn?

    So yeah, mine is the beer detox (craft or homebrew only please. None of those chemical laden (H2O, EtOH) macro brews). The toxins it removes are ethanol and acetaldehyde. Every once in a while, you may find you vomit, which removes everything else too. You are welcome.

    ahhh yes the drink until you vomit cleanse...i have heard of this one and tried it...it works wonders for your abs too ...all that puking really works the abdominals....
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I did the Bj cleanse. Sperm is full of healthy organic protein. It's low in fat plus you burn calories. A side effect was one happy spouse making it so I didn't have to try the husband cleanse. I lost some weight and gained muscle. The first thing people noticed was how much thinner my face was.

    Oh my goodness no! Too many extra calories...girls who swallow are 90% likely to gain weight

    Thats because they don't "cleanse" at the same time. If you "cleanse" or aka starve yourself while doing it. It cleans you out!
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I heard that crying is good for babies - it exercises their lungs.

    So, by analogy, bleeding must be good for the heart. And having a heavy alcohol load must be good for the liver. How else is it going to learn?

    So yeah, mine is the beer detox (craft or homebrew only please. None of those chemical laden (H2O, EtOH) macro brews). The toxins it removes are ethanol and acetaldehyde. Every once in a while, you may find you vomit, which removes everything else too. You are welcome.

    ahhh yes the drink until you vomit cleanse...i have heard of this one and tried it...it works wonders for your abs too ...all that puking really works the abdominals....

    The vomit cleanse has terrible next day side effects though. It includes cravings of greesy food, foul bowel movements, and severe headaches, and light sensitivity!
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I've used the Ultimate Reset and it was good. No I am not a vegan but I like the foods www.myultimatereset.com/Jovette42 You can do it up to 4x a year but right now 1x works fine for me. I plan on doing it in Sep/Oct.

    can you please let me know what toxins this removes and specific benefits ?

    It removes toxic money from your wallet. Benefits: your wallet will be much thinner.

    wait money is toxic..? So now I have to cleanse that too??? FML

    Yes money is toxic... so give it all to me and I will properly dispose of it!
  • joleenl
    joleenl Posts: 739 Member
    I listened to Justin Beiber and Celine Dion for an hour............my colon has never been so clean.

    ^^ I thought I was the only one this happened too. Glad to know I'm not alone!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I listened to Justin Beiber and Celine Dion for an hour............my colon has never been so clean.

    How did you manage to tolerate a full hour? I would be bashing my head against the wall within 5 minutes.
  • musycnlyrics
    musycnlyrics Posts: 323 Member
    I swear by the Clorox cleanse, You drink 3 cups of bleach with a tablespoon of grade B maple syrup, kumquat juice and tabasco sauce. It cleans you right out.

    Probably causes instant death or serious case of permanent idiocy.
    but it seems legit
    :tongue:
  • Unknown
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  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,031 Member
    So I am curious what you all's favorite cleanse/detox is...as I am interested in cleansing myself. Please list the cleanse/detox method you use, what toxins it is removing, what the benefits are, and any additional comments that you would like to add...

    thanks in advance!

    None, because they're all diet-woo...

    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Cleanse
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I listened to Justin Beiber and Celine Dion for an hour............my colon has never been so clean.

    How did you manage to tolerate a full hour? I would be bashing my head against the wall within 5 minutes.

    omg my sides my sides!
  • nvpixie
    nvpixie Posts: 483 Member
    I do yoga for detox. Sometimes it makes me burp and fart a lot so I'd say it cleanses me of flatulence.
  • dporter1183
    dporter1183 Posts: 154 Member
    When I feel like I need to cleanse, I just stick to eating nothing but fresh fruit and veggies with lots and lots of water for a day or two. I always feel great afterwards. no limiting yourself to just a drink all day or any of that stuff.
  • carchie94
    carchie94 Posts: 45
    I have watched my parents do:

    The Beyonce Cleanse: Cayenne, Maple Syrup, Lemons, Water

    The Salt Water Cleanse: Salt, Water

    The Green Cleanse: Beets, Apples, Carrots, Kale

    The Lemon Water Cleanse: Lemons, Water

    Colonic: *kitten*, Water, Pipe

    Acai Cleanse


    What did they gain?

    They lost a lot of solid waste weight. That's it. No fat. Just waste. And immediately afterwards, they binged on fried food because of sodium cravings. Cleanses are not your friend. Just eat healthy and your liver will take care of everything else. I feel like some people would try the sunlight cleanse if Oprah and Dr. Oz told them to. Raspberry Ketones don't work either, FYI. You'd do better off getting a real drug and letting that **** up your body, IMO.
  • Pearlyladybug
    Pearlyladybug Posts: 882 Member
    I have watched my parents do:

    The Beyonce Cleanse: Cayenne, Maple Syrup, Lemons, Water

    The Salt Water Cleanse: Salt, Water

    The Green Cleanse: Beets, Apples, Carrots, Kale

    The Lemon Water Cleanse: Lemons, Water

    Colonic: *kitten*, Water, Pipe

    Acai Cleanse


    What did they gain?

    They lost a lot of solid waste weight. That's it. No fat. Just waste. And immediately afterwards, they binged on fried food because of sodium cravings. Cleanses are not your friend. Just eat healthy and your liver will take care of everything else. I feel like some people would try the sunlight cleanse if Oprah and Dr. Oz told them to. Raspberry Ketones don't work either, FYI. You'd do better off getting a real drug and letting that **** up your body, IMO.

    No cleanses defiantly work! Dr oz is my hero!
  • goodtimezzzz
    goodtimezzzz Posts: 640 Member
    water sea salt sunshine and fresh air..been doing it for 5 years now..its Amazing
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