I need motivation, advice, something of the sort.
bodymindsouletc
Posts: 15
First and foremost, I want to start this post off with the caveat that I am here for advice, support, understanding and motivation. I'm here for encouragement, people that can relate to me, and constructive advice. I'm not interested in hearing that no one will be able to motivate me but myself and I need to "just do it". I know both of those things, I'm just looking for some ears to pick.
So, I stepped on the scale one day as a 5'7 female and saw that it said I weigh 217. I was mortified. I thought "oh my god, if I keep going like this, I'm going to weigh 300, and then more, and more." That's where I decided enough was enough. I went on a diet, but yo-yoed from 205-217 for a while. Then, during a spring break vacation last year, I went back up to 210 and said no, I need to do this.
And I did it. Something kicked in, and I did it, and I went full force. I had cheat days throughout each month, about 3-5, but I didn't let them stop me. I kept going. Other than that, I did Weight Watchers for a little bit, then switched over to eating 1,500 calories a day (or 1600-1700 during TOM sometiimes), and I worked out for an hour in the gym five days a week. No weight lifting, just cardio.
I got down to 185 pounds, and then I went on vacation to New York, and ever since then I have been in yo-yo hell. I got down to 178 at one point, and I was beyond thrilled, but it didn't last long. Essentially, I went back up to 188, then got back down to 184, and now I don't know where I"m at. I've been off-track for about a month now, save for a few clustered 2-3 days worth of being on a good streak here and there. I don't know what I weigh at the moment, but the last time I checked, I was back up to 188. It's possibly more now, and I accept that because it was my own doing.
But my point is, I need to stop this. I need get on track, I need to stay there, and I need to lose this weight. I want to get down to 170 first of all, then 160 ultimately, and probably stop there. It's so much closer than it has ever been, but I can't just get there! I've literally been unable to past that 185 for almost a year now. It's pathetic. I've had a year and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Four pounds more of fat, really.
I don't know why I can't just do it. I want to do it. I do. But things set me back. I have a cheat day, that turns into two, and three, etc. I work at a gas station which contains junk food (my favorite), and temptation gets the best of me sometimes. I have friends that love to go out to eat, which is a weakness of mine. My Mom keeps unhealthy food in the house, and I go crazy. TOM hits and I go even more crazy. I have low blood pressure, and sometimes I feel so weak from it that I just eat in hopes that I'll feel better irregardless of calories.
On top of that, I don't have the motivation to work out that I used to. Now, the thought of doing it at all makes me sick to my stomach, and all i can manage to force myself to do is 20 minutes of running/walking alternations 3 times a week and when my DVDs come in, two days of 20 minutes worth of strength training/circuit training.
The worst part is that my current living situation is even better. I'm staying with a friend in Chicago for the summer because I'm doing an internship. I buy my own food, so there's nothing unhealthy here. I'm on a budget, so I can't go out all the time. I live a more active lifestyle naturally being in the city. And I don't have a job or school right now as it is the summer and I'm away from home/doing an internship, so I have more time to exercise. So why do I find myself more unmotivated than ever?
I know part of it is that I look at living away from home as a big vacation, and I need to stop. Another is that my room mate loves food and loves to go out to eat. That doesn't help.
Basically, it all boils down to this: I know that if I just buckle down and stick to this, I can do it. I've done it before. I know if I can just get serious and get on track and stay there, I can do this. But I've tried and failed over and over for almost a year now and I'm starting to think I will never be able to do this.
So, I stepped on the scale one day as a 5'7 female and saw that it said I weigh 217. I was mortified. I thought "oh my god, if I keep going like this, I'm going to weigh 300, and then more, and more." That's where I decided enough was enough. I went on a diet, but yo-yoed from 205-217 for a while. Then, during a spring break vacation last year, I went back up to 210 and said no, I need to do this.
And I did it. Something kicked in, and I did it, and I went full force. I had cheat days throughout each month, about 3-5, but I didn't let them stop me. I kept going. Other than that, I did Weight Watchers for a little bit, then switched over to eating 1,500 calories a day (or 1600-1700 during TOM sometiimes), and I worked out for an hour in the gym five days a week. No weight lifting, just cardio.
I got down to 185 pounds, and then I went on vacation to New York, and ever since then I have been in yo-yo hell. I got down to 178 at one point, and I was beyond thrilled, but it didn't last long. Essentially, I went back up to 188, then got back down to 184, and now I don't know where I"m at. I've been off-track for about a month now, save for a few clustered 2-3 days worth of being on a good streak here and there. I don't know what I weigh at the moment, but the last time I checked, I was back up to 188. It's possibly more now, and I accept that because it was my own doing.
But my point is, I need to stop this. I need get on track, I need to stay there, and I need to lose this weight. I want to get down to 170 first of all, then 160 ultimately, and probably stop there. It's so much closer than it has ever been, but I can't just get there! I've literally been unable to past that 185 for almost a year now. It's pathetic. I've had a year and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Four pounds more of fat, really.
I don't know why I can't just do it. I want to do it. I do. But things set me back. I have a cheat day, that turns into two, and three, etc. I work at a gas station which contains junk food (my favorite), and temptation gets the best of me sometimes. I have friends that love to go out to eat, which is a weakness of mine. My Mom keeps unhealthy food in the house, and I go crazy. TOM hits and I go even more crazy. I have low blood pressure, and sometimes I feel so weak from it that I just eat in hopes that I'll feel better irregardless of calories.
On top of that, I don't have the motivation to work out that I used to. Now, the thought of doing it at all makes me sick to my stomach, and all i can manage to force myself to do is 20 minutes of running/walking alternations 3 times a week and when my DVDs come in, two days of 20 minutes worth of strength training/circuit training.
The worst part is that my current living situation is even better. I'm staying with a friend in Chicago for the summer because I'm doing an internship. I buy my own food, so there's nothing unhealthy here. I'm on a budget, so I can't go out all the time. I live a more active lifestyle naturally being in the city. And I don't have a job or school right now as it is the summer and I'm away from home/doing an internship, so I have more time to exercise. So why do I find myself more unmotivated than ever?
I know part of it is that I look at living away from home as a big vacation, and I need to stop. Another is that my room mate loves food and loves to go out to eat. That doesn't help.
Basically, it all boils down to this: I know that if I just buckle down and stick to this, I can do it. I've done it before. I know if I can just get serious and get on track and stay there, I can do this. But I've tried and failed over and over for almost a year now and I'm starting to think I will never be able to do this.
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Replies
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It sounds like you've given up (I'm starting to think I'll never be able to do this) so I can't say "yes you can do this" as you stated you aren't interested in hearing this. So what exactly do you want. Someone to listen, support and understand....no problem...we all need the same.....we all yoyo or we wouldn't be here and we all want something better or we wouldn't be here. Bottom line we need to be in touch with likened folks with similar struggles. Maybe something I say will inspire you and vise versa you may have the words I need to hear but don't limit what we can say because someday it may click and your life will change and you know it has to come from within.
You are too young to be so hopeless. I hope you find what you need and I am available for support.0 -
I'm asking others kindly not to reply with "just do it" and "only you can motivate yourself" because I know both of these things already and I know that those things are not going to help me right now. I don't think there's any harm in asking for advice outside of the two things that I'm saying please don't say this because I am already aware of this. What I'm looking for is just for people to talk to me. I'm looking for support and comfort and encouragement, not someone to just come in and say "just do it".0
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I'm asking others kindly not to reply with "just do it" and "only you can motivate yourself" because I know both of these things already and I know that those things are not going to help me right now. I don't think there's any harm in asking for advice outside of the two things that I'm saying please don't say this because I am already aware of this. What I'm looking for is just for people to talk to me. I'm looking for support and comfort and encouragement, not someone to just come in and say "just do it".
No offense, but you asked the wrong people because the only thing that will make this work is you, so everyone is going to tell you the same thing. Just do it.
And a lot of them will also tell you YOU CAN DO IT. Why? Because you can. Small steps, always focused on the future goals.0 -
I don't understand what the point was in me joining a website that has a community feature in it if nobody here is going to be willing to lend me support when I ask it. And no, it isn't true at all that the only advice you can offer me is "just do it". Of course the only way I'm going to lose weight is if I do it. Of course no one else here can make me eat healthy and work out. But you can at least encourage me. Motivation does not only come from yourself. I've been motivated by other people millions of times. When people say "You can do this! We all slip up, you're not alone" -- that's motivating. Are you holding my hand and making me lose the weight? No. You're supporting me. You're encouraging me. And that motivates me. That makes me believe I can do this. I don't think this is some unreasonable concept to ask for.0
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pretty sure that in addition to just do it I said all the other things you wanted to hear. nvm :grumble:0
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You edited to add that stuff after I'd already started typing my post. And my post applies to anyone that is curious as to why I'm wanting more than a "just do it" response.0
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As I said I will support and inspire as should all of us but you have to accept.0
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Ok here it goes.
What i think when i read your post is that you look at dieting as being dieting and not a life style. So really what you need to do is find a eating plan that works for you. Cheating on ur diet is GOOD no matter what people say because we are all just human. Personally i would have given up ages ago if i didnt have my cheat day. Now of coarse you should have self control and not make it a regular thing. That is why i usually endulge in something sweet when i go to a restaurant where i will get one slice of cake instead of buying whole cake at the supermarket which will end up in my belly. I also noticed that making a whole food plan on MFP in advance helps me more then creating it as i go through my day. The reason i create it in advance is so can follow it and stick to it. Dont ever starve yourself. It will exaust you and u will cheat more often or quit on ur diet plan. Create a plan that is filled with small meals and eat every 2-3 hours. Get all of the junk food out of your apartment (if possible) so you dont have any temptations.
Exercise.
People who exercise are more likely to stick to their plan. Exercise also gives you energy and makes you feel better. Cardio is ok but you should really add some of the strength training as well. I think LA Fitness is like 40 bucks a month and they have great strenght training classes like "Body Works" if you dont like or dont know how to properly use machines.
You are more then welcome to check out my food/exercise diary although it will differ from yours cause i need less calories per day than you.
Another thing... noone here will judge you so when ever you need advice or help dont hesitate to ask. If people do judge you, well, dont pay attention cause they are obviously asholes.
Good luck
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Read success stories.... no seriously! I can understand what you are going through because I have been there for the past 4 years!!! We all know how to lose weight and stay fit but reading how others managed to overcome the obstacles is really inspiring.
Also I would suggest that you set very very small goals right now. Don't think that you have to lose this weight in a matter of months. No. Accomplish a little and it will give you such a boost in confidence. Then move ahead accordingly.
Now just calm down, sit with a pen and paper, and write what you can do this week to move in the right direction. It really doesn't matter how small that thing is. You will be happy and not feel so overwhelmed after this. I know because I have done this. I'm pregnant right now so I am not focusing on losing weight but the healthy changes I have made this way are tremendous!! And these changes are going to last and give me desired results.
Don't lose hope! We have all been there!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Ok here it goes.
What i think when i read your post is that you look at dieting as being dieting and not a life style. So really what you need to do is find a eating plan that works for you. Cheating on ur diet is GOOD no matter what people say because we are all just human. Personally i would have given up ages ago if i didnt have my cheat day. Now of coarse you should have self control and not make it a regular thing. That is why i usually endulge in something sweet when i go to a restaurant where i will get one slice of cake instead of buying whole cake at the supermarket which will end up in my belly. I also noticed that making a whole food plan on MFP in advance helps me more then creating it as i go through my day. The reason i create it in advance is so can follow it and stick to it. Dont ever starve yourself. It will exaust you and u will cheat more often or quit on ur diet plan. Create a plan that is filled with small meals and eat every 2-3 hours. Get all of the junk food out of your apartment (if possible) so you dont have any temptations.
Exercise.
People who exercise are more likely to stick to their plan. Exercise also gives you energy and makes you feel better. Cardio is ok but you should really add some of the strength training as well. I think LA Fitness is like 40 bucks a month and they have great strenght training classes like "Body Works" if you dont like or dont know how to properly use machines.
You are more then welcome to check out my food/exercise diary although it will differ from yours cause i need less calories per day than you.
Another thing... noone here will judge you so when ever you need advice or help dont hesitate to ask. If people do judge you, well, dont pay attention cause they are obviously asholes.
Good luck
Thank you so much. This is the exact kind of reply I needed. And thank you for understanding that I wasn't asking people not to say certain things to me because I was trying to tell them how to talk, I was saying it because I was afraid people would come on here judging me and giving some of the *kitten* responses I've seen just looking through the message boards myself.
I think you're totally right, also. I do think I look at this as a diet and not a lifestyle. Do you think we could talk one-on-one and you could tell me what you do with your current weight loss plan to make it more lifestyle and less diet? I'd really appreciate some one-on-one coverage of this topic because you're right...it's a big, big one with me. And it's probably the reason I keep falling off the wagon too.0 -
Read success stories.... no seriously! I can understand what you are going through because I have been there for the past 4 years!!! We all know how to lose weight and stay fit but reading how others managed to overcome the obstacles is really inspiring.
Also I would suggest that you set very very small goals right now. Don't think that you have to lose this weight in a matter of months. No. Accomplish a little and it will give you such a boost in confidence. Then move ahead accordingly.
Now just calm down, sit with a pen and paper, and write what you can do this week to move in the right direction. It really doesn't matter how small that thing is. You will be happy and not feel so overwhelmed after this. I know because I have done this. I'm pregnant right now so I am not focusing on losing weight but the healthy changes I have made this way are tremendous!! And these changes are going to last and give me desired results.
Don't lose hope! We have all been there!! :flowerforyou:
That is a big thing I do when I'm looking for motivation! The success stories are extremely motivating. The only thing that can get me down about them is a lot of the people seemed to have been heavy exercisers. I constantly question whether or not I can get results if I stick to my calories and don't work out as much as they did.
It also makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one that's been at this in the range of years! Thank you. I'm going to try to sit down and write everything out, for real. I've never tried that method before. 0 -
Ok here it goes.
What i think when i read your post is that you look at dieting as being dieting and not a life style. So really what you need to do is find a eating plan that works for you. Cheating on ur diet is GOOD no matter what people say because we are all just human. Personally i would have given up ages ago if i didnt have my cheat day. Now of coarse you should have self control and not make it a regular thing. That is why i usually endulge in something sweet when i go to a restaurant where i will get one slice of cake instead of buying whole cake at the supermarket which will end up in my belly. I also noticed that making a whole food plan on MFP in advance helps me more then creating it as i go through my day. The reason i create it in advance is so can follow it and stick to it. Dont ever starve yourself. It will exaust you and u will cheat more often or quit on ur diet plan. Create a plan that is filled with small meals and eat every 2-3 hours. Get all of the junk food out of your apartment (if possible) so you dont have any temptations.
Exercise.
People who exercise are more likely to stick to their plan. Exercise also gives you energy and makes you feel better. Cardio is ok but you should really add some of the strength training as well. I think LA Fitness is like 40 bucks a month and they have great strenght training classes like "Body Works" if you dont like or dont know how to properly use machines.
You are more then welcome to check out my food/exercise diary although it will differ from yours cause i need less calories per day than you.
Another thing... noone here will judge you so when ever you need advice or help dont hesitate to ask. If people do judge you, well, dont pay attention cause they are obviously asholes.
Good luck
Thank you so much. This is the exact kind of reply I needed. And thank you for understanding that I wasn't asking people not to say certain things to me because I was trying to tell them how to talk, I was saying it because I was afraid people would come on here judging me and giving some of the *kitten* responses I've seen just looking through the message boards myself.
I think you're totally right, also. I do think I look at this as a diet and not a lifestyle. Do you think we could talk one-on-one and you could tell me what you do with your current weight loss plan to make it more lifestyle and less diet? I'd really appreciate some one-on-one coverage of this topic because you're right...it's a big, big one with me. And it's probably the reason I keep falling off the wagon too.
Sure thing messege me when ever or even better, you can add me. I log in on MFP few times a day so if i dont get back to you immidiatly i will in few hours
I am glad i could give you some comfort.
I know loosing weight is very hard and we all need all the support we can get.0 -
Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down
. I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
Good Luck!0 -
Here is my two cents:
I have lost close to 70lbs over the last 5 months through diet alone. My wife has lost about 40 during the same time period. She is about your size and weight. Besides being a man and a woman, the other difference is that I eat the same things nearly every day and at the same time each day while she does not.. I figured out that the key to weight loss was keeping my blood sugar levels as even as possible throughout the day to avoid those hunger spikes which led me to binge eat. At the same time I have learned to limit portion size. I start with a bit of protein and a starch each day and then about 2 hours later I have a fruit (apple usually). 2 hours later I eat lunch (salad, lowfat protein of turkey or chicken, a bag of protein chips) and then 2 hours after that I have another fruit. The about 2-3 hours later, I have dinner. Dinner was hardest but I learned portion control and to eat at home. We use to eat out 7 days a week. Now I cook just enough for the two of us for that meal. Dinner consists of protein (lean meats or seafood) a small starch (usually a potato) and veggies. We end our meal with protein bar for a sweet. I do this every day and I rarely feel hungry or deprived.. It is boring, but I find that being boring with a normal blood pressure and no more knee pain is better than loading up a the Chinese buffet and tipping the scale at 321 lbs.with high blood pressure. So the advice I can give is to find a eating routine just like you find a workout routine. Oh, and don't diet. Diets start and end, instead change the way you think about eating. That way you won't have cheat days. You can cheat on a diet, you can't cheat on a lifestyle. Don't deny your cravings, just their amounts.0 -
In April, I did pretty much the same thing as you did. I'm back on track now, and what helped me was to set a goal of staying on plan for 30 days. If I want to eat extra, I need to exercise extra to "pay" for the extra calories. I was struggling getting back to exercise, so I started relatively small-less than I normally would've exercised. Re-discovered that I like to exercise and have upped it again by choice.
If you are having a problem getting back on your plan, examine that plan and find out what you have the hardest time doing-if you can identify it, it will be easier to target/solve the problem. After eating junk or drive through for a while, it gets to be a habit. The same thing happens when you eat good healthy food.
Best of luck!0 -
People "inspire" not motivate. Anyone can tell all the right reasons, but unless you're actually motivated by yourself, it falls on deaf ears.
It's like telling an alcoholic the reasons why they should stop drinking and how it hurts not only them, but the others around them. They'll hear it, but until they are ready to accept change, they won't.
I do this for a living so I don't buy the whole "I know what I need to do, so you don't need to tell me" excuse. You may not see it that way, but it really is an excuse. And understand I've heard it lots and lots of times over the years.
That's why you're not consistent, nor are you motivated to go to the gym. You're stuck because you're not doing what you need to do to get past it.
But yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissary note, TODAY is the only legal tender you can spend. So, reassess your goals, write them down and make a specific plan on how to achieve them. No excuses.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Lots of good tips were given to help with diet & exercise...the one thing that jumped out at me from your original post was that it seemed that junk food & eating out are at the nucleus of your social/work circle--changing that takes you out of your comfort zone. It's very possible that a lifestyle change (which is what you must do to remove & keep weight off forever) might very well change that dynamic--are you ready, willing and able to commit to such a change?0
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Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down. I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
Good Luck!
Best motivation you can get if from other people especially the ones near you, your friends that are also into fitness. When you are weak they will push you, when they get weak, you are there to push them. I am so blessed that my hubby is a fitness junky. He always gets me off my *kitten* when i feel i cant go on. Also make sure you monitor your progress no matter how small it is. Take before and after pictures of yourself even if the difference is 2-3 pounds. You will see the difference and it will make you get up and go at it again.0 -
I figured out that the key to weight loss was keeping my blood sugar levels as even as possible throughout the day to avoid those hunger spikes which led me to binge eat. At the same time I have learned to limit portion size. Oh, and don't diet. Diets start and end, instead change the way you think about eating. That way you won't have cheat days. You can cheat on a diet, you can't cheat on a lifestyle. Don't deny your cravings, just their amounts.
^^^^^^^^^^Couldn't have said it better myself!0 -
Maybe it's a matter of figuring out what motivates you to take the steps you need to take. Here are some of my motivations. Some may not ring a bell for you, but maybe some will spark an idea that will work in your situation:
* Going through my old clothes. I've got some really nice ones in there that are too small for me now, and I want to be able to wear them. My wedding dress is one of them.
* Being able to squat down with perfect form and pick up my 20-lb baby. Now that I can do that, I must not go back! I must not!
* The only place I can do a perfect, all-the-way-down push up is with my hands on my kitchen counter. I want to improve until I can do them full length on the floor!
* My husband is so proud of me now that I'm serious about losing weight.
Some ideas that might help you:
* Log your meals before you eat them. This includes snacks and eating out. Decide how much you need calorie wise and make it work on the screen. Then eat that much. When you are done, ask yourself, "Am I full?" if the answer is yes, stop eating. This one thing has totally revolutionized how I eat. I have been losing inches like crazy!
* I get really bored doing the same thing over and over. I find it helpful to do a program where I have to improve, advance. More weight, go faster, etc.
* I just recently discovered http://nerdfitness.com. The advice there is stellar and the community is amazing. They run 6-week challenges that are kind of like a reverse RPG (if that sounds confusing, just go there and read the forums about it). Their next challenge starts June 3, and I can't wait to participate. It should give me some motivation to keep on keeping on!
Hope that gives you some ideas.0 -
I'm a lot like you, I get bored of the DVDs so easily, or 30 day challenges so I mix it up a lot: some days I will go to the gym, some days do a video at home (or my own work out I find off the internet that makes me go 'ooooh'), or go for a walk down by the canal, walk into town (40mins), go for a run, cycle yada yada.
Point is, don't assume you have to stick to one type of exercise like the gym. Repitition BORES me. When i do different things I want and embrace the change.
I also set myself a mini goal every week - to lose at least 1lb. I know if I eat my deficit and work out a bit everyday I will (and have so far) made that goal each week (well, there were two weeks where I maintained - but as the saying goes: lose, maintain just don't gain)
In regards to slipping up, I've been relaxed about my eating for too long. I want to look good naked, I want to feel good in clothes, I want to go to the beach and not be mortified. So I stopped thinking 'I want to get slimmer' and started thinking 'I will get slimmer'.
You only live once. Might as well look your best for it.0 -
People "inspire" not motivate. Anyone can tell all the right reasons, but unless you're actually motivated by yourself, it falls on deaf ears.
It's like telling an alcoholic the reasons why they should stop drinking and how it hurts not only them, but the others around them. They'll hear it, but until they are ready to accept change, they won't.
I do this for a living so I don't buy the whole "I know what I need to do, so you don't need to tell me" excuse. You may not see it that way, but it really is an excuse. And understand I've heard it lots and lots of times over the years.
That's why you're not consistent, nor are you motivated to go to the gym. You're stuck because you're not doing what you need to do to get past it.
But yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissary note, TODAY is the only legal tender you can spend. So, reassess your goals, write them down and make a specific plan on how to achieve them. No excuses.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
All right, then I'm looking for inspiration. And if you're going to compare this to an alcoholic, then consider me the alcoholic that actively wants to change and is simply seeking tips, advice, support, inspiration, words of encouragement, whatever phrase you'd like to attach to it to help "inspire" me to get up and get going again. Also consider me the alcoholic that is ready to listen to said advice and "inspiration" and put it to practice, so it is not falling on deaf ears. Sorry that you've heard this time and time before, but I will ask that you don't compare me to the people you've been seeing for years and years because you don't know me personally and you cannot assume that I'm just making an excuse just because they were making excuses. I genuinely already know that without having self-motivation, I cannot do this, and that without just buckling down and actually doing it, I won't get anywhere. I. KNOW. THAT. It is not an excuse, it is just plain fact. What I was trying to say, and I will try to say it again in hopes that it transpires correctly this time, is that I DO already know those things and I DO plan to follow that advice because I AM already aware of it, but what I'm looking for in addition to those two words of advice is, as you would word it, inspiration, and as I said, support, encouragement, just people to talk to and relate to in order to help me get along my way. THAT is why i asked for people to not just reply with those two things because it would be completely useless to me because I'm not looking for a simplistic, three word response that I could have figured out myself. I'm looking for CONVERSATION. I'm looking to just "sit down", so to speak, with other people going through the same weight loss struggle as me and bounce support, ideas, empathy, advice, etc. off of each other. I will NOT get that result that I am looking for from "just do it". I hope this makes things more clear finally.0 -
Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down. I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
Good Luck!
This is an extremely good idea! I do love making lists too, so this appeals to me on a number of levels. I think I'll try out your 'motivation-go-to' list idea!0 -
Here is my two cents:
I have lost close to 70lbs over the last 5 months through diet alone. My wife has lost about 40 during the same time period. She is about your size and weight. Besides being a man and a woman, the other difference is that I eat the same things nearly every day and at the same time each day while she does not.. I figured out that the key to weight loss was keeping my blood sugar levels as even as possible throughout the day to avoid those hunger spikes which led me to binge eat. At the same time I have learned to limit portion size. I start with a bit of protein and a starch each day and then about 2 hours later I have a fruit (apple usually). 2 hours later I eat lunch (salad, lowfat protein of turkey or chicken, a bag of protein chips) and then 2 hours after that I have another fruit. The about 2-3 hours later, I have dinner. Dinner was hardest but I learned portion control and to eat at home. We use to eat out 7 days a week. Now I cook just enough for the two of us for that meal. Dinner consists of protein (lean meats or seafood) a small starch (usually a potato) and veggies. We end our meal with protein bar for a sweet. I do this every day and I rarely feel hungry or deprived.. It is boring, but I find that being boring with a normal blood pressure and no more knee pain is better than loading up a the Chinese buffet and tipping the scale at 321 lbs.with high blood pressure. So the advice I can give is to find a eating routine just like you find a workout routine. Oh, and don't diet. Diets start and end, instead change the way you think about eating. That way you won't have cheat days. You can cheat on a diet, you can't cheat on a lifestyle. Don't deny your cravings, just their amounts.
It does make me feel better to hear that weight loss has been achieved through diet alone. Now this doesn't mean I plan to use this as an excuse not to work out at all, but it does make me feel a little better if I don't kill myself in exercise every week. I definitely have a lot of issues with my blood sugar going out of whack and leading to crazy binges, too! I know it's because I don't eat frequently enough. I'm gonna try to keep this in mind and eat more regularly, thank you. Ah, and portion control. My weakness. I do plan to work on that one. Very slowly, but very surely.0 -
In April, I did pretty much the same thing as you did. I'm back on track now, and what helped me was to set a goal of staying on plan for 30 days. If I want to eat extra, I need to exercise extra to "pay" for the extra calories. I was struggling getting back to exercise, so I started relatively small-less than I normally would've exercised. Re-discovered that I like to exercise and have upped it again by choice.
If you are having a problem getting back on your plan, examine that plan and find out what you have the hardest time doing-if you can identify it, it will be easier to target/solve the problem. After eating junk or drive through for a while, it gets to be a habit. The same thing happens when you eat good healthy food.
Best of luck!
You're so right. Eating junk food for a while becomes a habit, but I know from memory that so does eating healthy. I just need to stick to this long enough to make THAT my habit again. I really like challenging myself, too. Like telling myself "Okay, I can't slip up for a month" or something. I'm keeping this in mind. Maybe I'll try to start with a "I can't slip up for two week" challenge. Thank you!0 -
Lots of good tips were given to help with diet & exercise...the one thing that jumped out at me from your original post was that it seemed that junk food & eating out are at the nucleus of your social/work circle--changing that takes you out of your comfort zone. It's very possible that a lifestyle change (which is what you must do to remove & keep weight off forever) might very well change that dynamic--are you ready, willing and able to commit to such a change?
That's a very good question. I am willing if that's what it boils down to, because I do want it that badly. But I'd like to think that I could find a way of not going to the extreme of cutting out my eat-outs with my friends and rather just learning to stay healthy and calorie count while I eat out. Of course, it might be best if I find a happy medium and eat out less, and smart when I do?0 -
Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down. I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
Good Luck!
Best motivation you can get if from other people especially the ones near you, your friends that are also into fitness. When you are weak they will push you, when they get weak, you are there to push them. I am so blessed that my hubby is a fitness junky. He always gets me off my *kitten* when i feel i cant go on. Also make sure you monitor your progress no matter how small it is. Take before and after pictures of yourself even if the difference is 2-3 pounds. You will see the difference and it will make you get up and go at it again.
If only I had friends that were into fitness. I'm the only friend in my circle that cares about it and I really wish I had at least one other physical friend that does - it helps a lot! When my friends go on temporary bursts of physical fitness hype, it always helps me loads.0 -
I'm a lot like you, I get bored of the DVDs so easily, or 30 day challenges so I mix it up a lot: some days I will go to the gym, some days do a video at home (or my own work out I find off the internet that makes me go 'ooooh'), or go for a walk down by the canal, walk into town (40mins), go for a run, cycle yada yada.
Point is, don't assume you have to stick to one type of exercise like the gym. Repitition BORES me. When i do different things I want and embrace the change.
I also set myself a mini goal every week - to lose at least 1lb. I know if I eat my deficit and work out a bit everyday I will (and have so far) made that goal each week (well, there were two weeks where I maintained - but as the saying goes: lose, maintain just don't gain)
In regards to slipping up, I've been relaxed about my eating for too long. I want to look good naked, I want to feel good in clothes, I want to go to the beach and not be mortified. So I stopped thinking 'I want to get slimmer' and started thinking 'I will get slimmer'.
You only live once. Might as well look your best for it.
YES. That's exactly it. I get bored really easily. I always have to mix up my exercise at least monthly in order to be able to stick to it. I might try mixing it up even more often like you do, though! And I love the mini-goal idea. I'm stealing that one too 0 -
Maybe it's a matter of figuring out what motivates you to take the steps you need to take. Here are some of my motivations. Some may not ring a bell for you, but maybe some will spark an idea that will work in your situation:
* Going through my old clothes. I've got some really nice ones in there that are too small for me now, and I want to be able to wear them. My wedding dress is one of them.
* Being able to squat down with perfect form and pick up my 20-lb baby. Now that I can do that, I must not go back! I must not!
* The only place I can do a perfect, all-the-way-down push up is with my hands on my kitchen counter. I want to improve until I can do them full length on the floor!
* My husband is so proud of me now that I'm serious about losing weight.
Some ideas that might help you:
* Log your meals before you eat them. This includes snacks and eating out. Decide how much you need calorie wise and make it work on the screen. Then eat that much. When you are done, ask yourself, "Am I full?" if the answer is yes, stop eating. This one thing has totally revolutionized how I eat. I have been losing inches like crazy!
* I get really bored doing the same thing over and over. I find it helpful to do a program where I have to improve, advance. More weight, go faster, etc.
* I just recently discovered http://nerdfitness.com. The advice there is stellar and the community is amazing. They run 6-week challenges that are kind of like a reverse RPG (if that sounds confusing, just go there and read the forums about it). Their next challenge starts June 3, and I can't wait to participate. It should give me some motivation to keep on keeping on!
Hope that gives you some ideas.
You definitely gave me some great ideas. Thanks so much for taking the time to offer them to me. I love hearing what works for other people and what might work for me too. Definitely found some things on your list that sparked me!0 -
I actually think you are nearly there, mentally. Because I go through this process. Right before I get the determination to do it I feel really down about it all. Then I go past that and do it.
So sure by now you've gone there!
Maybe focus on one thing at a time. I've been told it takes two weeks to break a habit. So eating at work is temptation. Spend two weeks just focusing on not doing that. When you've got out of that habit , focus on another small change you can make. Keep building on to them.0
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