tattoo and dad

bearkisses
bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay. So I am FULL AWARE of how dumb this sounds, as I am 27...but I was wondering if anyone had any opinions or ideas on how to buffer myself and my dad's feelings the most.

My dad hates tattoos. I have 6 of them. He knows of 3.

One is quite large, on my leg, and is a mermaid...and you can see her boobs. So. I know he will hate it regardless of what I do, but I was wondering if I should just show up in a dress to my jack and jill on Saturday and then he'll be like "wtf" and angry quietly. Or, If I should tell him beforehand that I have a rather large mermaid tattood on my leg...

I just hate it when he is upset, and I know that he will internalize it and make it all about him. And he doesn't get practicallly angry, he will be super duper angry.

Anyone hate tattoos and have kids that have them...any way to make this as easy on the both of us as possible.

Signed,

You never get to grow up and make your own choices w/o parents being lame
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Replies

  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    I would tell him prior.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    I would tell him prior.

    I did this before and it still sucked. I may do it.

    And thank you so much for not saying "well, you're an adult"...i kind of know that!!! But I don't want an explosion ya know. I like peace.
  • Lessthanpenguins
    Lessthanpenguins Posts: 30 Member
    My Mom freaked when I told her about mine but we were going on a family vacation and it was either tell her or let her find out on vacation. Now she just makes underhanded comments about it all the time. I would definitely recomend saying something before hand.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    My Mom freaked when I told her about mine but we were going on a family vacation and it was either tell her or let her find out on vacation. Now she just makes underhanded comments about it all the time. I would definitely recomend saying something before hand.

    I think I am so worried cause it is not like it is flowers. it is a bare breasted woman! I told him previously about a huge flower piece of my back. I also have a cupcake on my ankle that he has never seen...but I am not even worried. I think it is actual artwork I am worried about him having a heart attack about.
  • Lessthanpenguins
    Lessthanpenguins Posts: 30 Member
    That I can understand as well. That is just something that you are going to have to face one way or another. Luckily for me, my art is just knotwork done on my leg. I would still go with telling him before hand. I have to imagine that unless the piece is of substantial size, the topless mermaid shouldn't be too noticiable as hanging out without closer inspection. I could be wrong without seeing it though.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Your a grown adult.
    They will either accept you for what you do with your body or they wont.
    Just becuz they are your 'rents, doesn't give them owner ship of you.
  • Unknown
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  • billmac
    billmac Posts: 51 Member
    I'll say this much. I'm looking at investing in tattoo removal. It will be the greatest growth industry the world has seen since...tattoos.
  • Lessthanpenguins
    Lessthanpenguins Posts: 30 Member
    I'll say this much. I'm looking at investing in tattoo removal. It will be the greatest growth industry the world has seen since...tattoos.

    While it is true that this is a growing market, I would rather keep mine even if I get to a point where I don't like it cause of what it reminds me of from my youth. Granted I am not that old and I have only had mine for about 7 years, I wouldn't change my choice one bit from then to now.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    so, this is the tattoo...like i said, it is moreso that it is mermaid that I am worried about him overreacting. I guess I just need to bite the bullet though

    358555h.jpg

    35jh7wk.jpg
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    That I can understand as well. That is just something that you are going to have to face one way or another. Luckily for me, my art is just knotwork done on my leg. I would still go with telling him before hand. I have to imagine that unless the piece is of substantial size, the topless mermaid shouldn't be too noticiable as hanging out without closer inspection. I could be wrong without seeing it though.

    it covers quite a large piece of my leg lol
  • Lessthanpenguins
    Lessthanpenguins Posts: 30 Member
    Nice, but yeah, she is just kinda all out there. Not much you can do about it truth be told. unless its a super formal jack and jill and stockings can be worn, its just gonna kinda be out there. I stick to my thought of tell him before hand so it has less potential of ruining the party for everyone.
  • katiebiotch
    katiebiotch Posts: 21 Member
    I just went through the same thing with my mom. About a year ago I got a beautiful antique key on my spine. My best friend has a matching one. I had told my mom about my first tattoo and she was quite upset. My sisters wedding is coming up and I'm a bridesmaid and I didn't want her to be surprised and see it while walking down the isle and ruin my sisters wedding day. I knew I had to tell her. One day on the phone I just blurted it out. She was upset but wasn't mad. Assure your dad that your an individual and you love the tattoo because it means a lot to you. Tell him he doesn't have to like it but he should respect your choices because it is your own body.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Nice, but yeah, she is just kinda all out there. Not much you can do about it truth be told. unless its a super formal jack and jill and stockings can be worn, its just gonna kinda be out there. I stick to my thought of tell him before hand so it has less potential of ruining the party for everyone.
    I might just wear opaque tights..I don't think he can handle it. If i muster up some courage I may just tell him. My other tats i was not nearly as worried about. gah.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    Do you think telling him I have i, what it is, and the size...and then explaining that i really don't want it to be an issue and that if HE wants me to cover it I will...is a good/bad idea? I don't even know if that sounds condescending or not. I see it as being respectful to his wishes?
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Bwaha. My Dad hates them too, but I'm still going to get one when I'm at my goal weight. Then again, I am 27 years old, married, with kids. So nothing he says about it would affect me anyway :tongue: .

    But for you, I don't know, call him and be like "Hey Dad, how are you? How's life going" What's new? I have a bare-breasted mermaid tattooed on my leg. How's your job going? Do you have any plans for the summer?"
  • Lessthanpenguins
    Lessthanpenguins Posts: 30 Member
    Bwaha. My Dad hates them too, but I'm still going to get one when I'm at my goal weight. Then again, I am 27 years old, married, with kids. So nothing he says about it would affect me anyway :tongue: .

    But for you, I don't know, call him and be like "Hey Dad, how are you? How's life going" What's new? I have a bare-breasted mermaid tattooed on my leg. How's your job going? Do you have any plans for the summer?"

    Ha i like it Jenni

    Bear, that might be a good way to go about it. Tell him about it but yet tell him you want to be respectful of his thought behind it and you are willing to find a way to cover it for the jack and jill if he would like you to. Lets you get it out that you have it and are proud of it and can keeps the peace in the family.
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    so, this is the tattoo...like i said, it is moreso that it is mermaid that I am worried about him overreacting. I guess I just need to bite the bullet though

    358555h.jpg

    35jh7wk.jpg

    Buy her a bikinis top for the wedding :P
  • Hopeful_
    Hopeful_ Posts: 39 Member
    That really is artwork! You could always draw a bra on her! ;)
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    i would just hide it as long as possible..... seriously.... u can just say u have tattoos but that doesnt mean u have to show them lol...
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
    I only ever got one. It was a B-Day present from a tattoo artist friend. I was 17 at the time. (I'm about to turn 31 now). My mom took me to get it done. She doesn't have any, but my older brother was heavily tattooed by the time I went to get mine. She didn't seem thrilled, but she was supportive. Her advice to me: "Make sure it's something you can live with for the rest of your life."

    I followed that advice, and I still don't regret having it done. OP, if your art makes you happy, don't let your father's comments affect you. He'll have to get over it sooner or later. Probably later.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    I don't like tattoos at all and I would probably be upset and disappointed if my kids got one (or two or more....), but they are adults now so it is their life, their business, and their bodies.

    I am lucky that neither of them cares for tattoos either, or maybe they are afraid that I will take their names out of the will...:laugh:
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Tell him first.

    If he overreacts, its on him.
  • tigerblood78
    tigerblood78 Posts: 416 Member
    My mother hates my tattoos. When I know she's going to find out, I usually wear something that allows her to just barely see part of it, so she knows something is there, and she will say something about it. Awkward....but its whatever.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    If it were me and it was my dad, I'd probably just wear pants to the Jack and Jill. I don't wan't a blow up to ruin the night, nor do I want to feel uneasy knowing dad is still pissed about it. Yes i realize that we are grown women yada yada yada but at the end of the day we're still our daddy's little girls :)
  • crenner07
    crenner07 Posts: 36
    I have two tattoos. My dad doesn't like tattoos in general, but he's okay with mine. The first reason is that I'm an adult and I made a decision to get them. The second is I was able to explain my reasoning behind the two I have. The first one is a Celtic knot standing for friendship, love and fidelity. The second is a quote from a book that he read me as a child that has become a personal motto for me over the years.
    I told my parents about the first one before we went on a family vacation where I knew they would see it. They didn't get mad about it, except for the fact that I'd kept it a secret for six months. The second one I honestly didn't even think to tell them about. I didn't tell them when I got my ears pierced for a second hole in high school. But, my dad's not the kind of person to take a decision I made about me personally. If you think it's going to be an issue that would impact the rest of the night, either tell him ahead of time or wear pants and deal with it another time.
    BTW...it's an amazing tattoo.
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
    My dad has a tattoo on his forearm from the military, but doesn't like them; he gave my older brother **** for his tattoos and piercings.

    I remember when he found out I had gotten a tattoo and my tongue pierced when I was 18 (I didn't live at home). I never heard the end of it, and I let him make me feel bad for expressing myself. When I was 21, I had gotten my eyebrow pierced and two more tattoos. First time I saw him I said "I got two tattoos and my eyebrow pierced. You can hate it, hut it's my body and I don't need your approval." He was speechless that I stood up to him. 7 tattoos and many piercings later, not a peep from him.

    I would just tell him beforehand, and then showcase it. There's no reason you should have to conform. There's also no reason anyone should ever let you feel bad for being you. Ever.

    ETA: I love that tattoo; it's an amazing piece of artwork!
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    My dad has a tattoo on his forearm from the military, but doesn't like them; he gave my older brother **** for his tattoos and piercings.

    I remember when he found out I had gotten a tattoo and my tongue pierced when I was 18 (I didn't live at home). I never heard the end of it, and I let him make me feel bad for expressing myself. When I was 21, I had gotten my eyebrow pierced and two more tattoos. First time I saw him I said "I got two tattoos and my eyebrow pierced. You can hate it, hut it's my body and I don't need your approval." He was speechless that I stood up to him. 7 tattoos and many piercings later, not a peep from him.

    I would just tell him beforehand, and then showcase it. There's no reason you should have to conform. There's also no reason anyone should ever let you feel bad for being you. Ever.

    ETA: I love that tattoo; it's an amazing piece of artwork!

    thank you, and thank you to everyone!

    I have decided I am just going to show up with it. I know I am waffling back and forth here, but my reason is that

    1. He found out about my first tattoo, ankle (cute little fish) on accident, my pants were too short. He was livid!
    2. My second tattoo is on my ribs and he still doesn't know about, and has no need to find out lol
    3. My third tattoo is a butterfly on my arm, I don't even remember when I told him about it. I may not have. I think he found out in front of one of his girlfriends.
    4. I got a larger piece on my back shoulder a month or so before his wedding. I told him ahead of time, just because I didn't want to ruin his wedding feelings ya know. I was going to wear a dress and wanted to brace him for the sight of it and not be surprised.
    5. I got my mermaid-doesn't know. I got it a year ago.
    6. I got a cupcake, and I don't even care if he sees it!

    So, I am just gonna show up. I am an adult. If he wants to be mad, I will just leave for a bit to cool my jets and come back. I also don't want to allow him to think that he has any control over me. If I tell him early, I think he will use the consideration as a way to make me feel like crap about it.

    i will let you all know how it goes. It is Saturday. And I've got a super sexy dress for it!
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    and thanks for the compliments on the tattoo. I love her so much. I just need to get the piece finished. It was a 6 hr session so I couldn't even finish her hair. Then, my artists shop was only open for like 5 more months (I took my time going back because of the pain and $) and she moved shop to Windsor. Last I heard she was ripping off deposits and her whole web presence is gone (website deleted, facebook deleted, etc.). Super bummed because I was in LOVE with her artwork.

    if anyone is interested, https://twitter.com/suspiriart/media/grid
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    feeling so stressed about this still. It is on Saturday. ugh.

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