I am afraid to even post this...

260ToGo · May 2013

Hi everyone;

As the title says, I'm truly afraid to even be posting this. I am 459lbs, as per 2 weeks ago, and I want, no, I need help. I have never been in shape. I have never felt comfortable with my body and the closest I had ever been to success with a diet was my sophmore year of high school in which I lost 80lbs dropping from 360lbs to 280lbs in a little under 6 months. Then my uncle died who I was very close with and I ballooned back up to what I am now and it doesn't seem to ever stop. I am losing all hope for life and even went as far as attempting to end it last year, (for which I seeked professional help for and am now stable and never needed medication).

This is my final recourse, I am willing to try changing my life style 1 final time, I've tried everything from atkins to juicing and from Insanity to Yoga nothing lasts for more than a month with me. I have no drive since I have never been fit so I don't know the gratification and vindication that lies at the finish line of a life style change. I have no moral support, and no emotional support. Finally my food budget, it's roughly $250 per month, I have a costco membership and live in North New Jersey. I'm not here looking for attention, and I'm not here to sit and talk about cats, I'm here to change and I need help. So please, HELP ME!

If you choose to help, and need more specific information feel free to ask anything I'm an open book.

Warm Regards,
Tom

P.S. I'm looking to acheive a goal of being 299lbs by Christmas 2013 as the biggest Christmas gift ever to my family.

Daliel · May 2013

It's a brave thing you're doing. I'm in a similar boat. I've been overweight and unhappy all my life and no "change" ever feels permanent. A solid support system might be the thing we're both missing! I haven't reached out to the community yet but I know it's important. Feel free to add me and best of luck

You can do it!

ZealousMissJJ · May 2013

Friend request sent :happy: !

fluffywelshsheep · May 2013

Congratulation for being brave and postting . Their is not point going on diets , they don't work. It's Life changes you need to do and stick to it.

baby steps make one change each day and you soon find it become second nature.

jgvfk123 · May 2013

Hi Tom,
Well your making the right moves in the right direction. I'm new here today and your the first post I've read, it seems we are all here for the same reason - Moral support - someone to help - someone to share with. Your not alone, know that. I eat when I'm bored, when I'm lonely, when I'm upset, I eat til I'm bloated then feel awful and hate myself. I too have tried all the diets but I can never stick to anything past a few weeks.

Dont know about you Tom, but do this for you and only you. If you need to snack - binge - then try do it on different things - I am - I did have a binge but I ate a whole pack of paprika rice cakes - same full bloated feeling but with damage limitation??!!l

Good luck - You can do it - One day at a time.

I no expert but Im here for you as I get what you are going through too

Take Care
Jane

MyJourney1960 · May 2013

welcome. I have just joined a few days ago but already feel that this is a great place to be - so supportive and inspiring!

You don't need a lot of money to eat healthy, but you do need to educate yourself about what is good and what is less desirable. for example - i thought i knew everything about calories etc (have been off and on diets for years) but when i logged my food intake yesterday i realized that i had a thing or two to learn.

the best advice I can give you is to take this one day at a time, one pound at a time. don't set *number* goals for yourself, don't say "i want to be X pounds by Y date" - that is a sure-fired way to *not* succeed and then snowball back into failure mode ("well, i couldn't lose that weight, i can't do anything, such a failure, etc"). start each day in a healthier way - drink a glass of water, stretch, walk around the block, do something good for yourself.

and, if you're like me, you probably reward yourself with food. so find something else - for example, if you *don't* buy that fast food meal, then put the money you saved into a separate purse and at the end of the week buy a new lipstick, or scarf or something (not food lol).

And read some of the inspiring stories here about those who did succeed. you'll see that they did it slowly.

hugs and good luck!

mimieon · May 2013

First step: getting information, setting yourself up to succeed.

This has been helpful to a lot of people:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

PlayerHatinDogooder · May 2013

Best of luck to you Tom.

You sure as s***t can do this.

Just set your mind to it.

260ToGo · May 2013

Wow so many posts so quickly, I'm amazed at the community here. I can hardly keep up with messages and responses. So to you all, thank you so very much! I look forward to taking this journey and making myself, and everyone around me proud, as well as helping others along the way. As my coworkers and I say, and yes it's very corny, "Team work makes the dream work!"

kaydeedoubleu1 · May 2013

Hey Tom. First of all-good on you for making the choice to change your life. 9 months ago at 115kg i came out of a long term relationship, overweight, miserable, no self esteem and decided to do the same thing. So far i'v lost 28kgs. Its definately do-able, but you need to be patient and you need to want to do it for yourself, for your happiness.
I started by joining a gym, and pushed myself to go 3-4 times a week for an hour, doing mostly cardio. I started off only being able to run for about 30seconds at a time. For you If you can afford it, join a gym, and sign up to see a personal trainer and nutritionist. They will most likely get you to keep food journals, and give you a good routine for your level of fitness. I find them really encouraging and i wish i had gotten PT sessions when I had first started. Secondly, find positive and supportive people in your life and surround yourself as much as you can-i found it a struggle to be around people who were negative and lived destructive lifestyle's. If you can find an exercise-diet buddy, even better. And thirdly, don't cut out everything you enjoy. If you want junkfood, have some, but have a very small amount, because if you cut out everything you enjoy you will crash. Just minimise everything. And make small, attainable goals that are realistic.
You can do it, everyone can, you just have to tell yourself that you are worth so much more and you deserve to be healthy and happy

Sarauk2sf · May 2013

Hi!

One of the lovely ladies on my FL has a blog that I think is very helpful for people starting out on here. It is here:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin

Have a read, hopefully it will help. And good luck!

Supern0va81 · May 2013

Hi Tom,

I can relate to your perspective of being alone in getting healthy and fit - my family isn't very supportive. They were fed up with hearing about my next 'great' diet I've found', until I found MFP and realised it was just about science exercise and nutrition and balancing your energy. Now they are shocked at my successes so far and I'm nearly only half way there!

MFP is great for support. If you are feeling down I find that you get the most support if you post something positive and share it with friends on your wall or to the community. Oh and surrounding yourself by things or people that inspire you to achieve your goals

That's the the best feeling.

Anyway, nice to meet you. I've sent a friend request and hope that we can help each other!

Best regards,
Helen

cpayne56 · May 2013

Its so difficult to change our mental attitude to food as fuel rather than as a comfort blanket but that is the only way to beat this.
I made a very hard decision when I started this to throw away everything that was not nutritional or that was fattening.
Throwing away food goes against everything I am, I hate waste and was always taught never to waste food. It was the hardest but also the most liberating thing ever!!!!

Create a healthy environment for yourself - rid your home of all the junk food. Empty the fridge and start fresh.
Snack on vegetables - learn to love them and they will love you back!

Its not easy, doing things the right way never is, but if you change your mind about food it will be sustainable for the rest of your life and you will have a healthy life.
Don't set yourself goals apart from the week. 2lbs a week is a goal that, at your weight you should achieve constantly for quite some time. It doesn't sound a lot but it all adds up.

Everyone on here is very encouraging and helpful if you feel weak post something and have a chat before you eat.

We are all in the same boat, some are further along than others but it does go to show that with support everything is possible.
Good luck and healthy eating to you
XxX
Cate

saramaring · May 2013

Good luck Tom! You can definitely do it! I started out by cutting out the foods that were bad for me week by week and nori pretty much only eat unprocessed foods. I've been told staying and getting fit and healthy is 80 percent diet 20 percent working out, and I completely agree. Start with a calorie goal and keep a food journal. Drink lots of water! If you have any questions feel free to ask? What happened when you tried insanity and yoga?

bartbell · May 2013

Day by day, step by step. You can do this, and you know going in there will be great days, good days and bad days, don't get to low when you have a bad one. Keep logging in every day (the site will give you a nice congrats every 5 days to remind you how long you've been here) If you are having one of those bad days read some of the great stories on here, hit the mental reset button and keep moving forward.

Good luck, Tom. Congrats on taking control and the start of your new lifestyle!

_Zardoz_ · May 2013

Good luck Tom remember the physical part of weight loss is pretty straight forward (eat less exercise more) it's the psychological that is normally the problem. So you need to be thinking about coping mechanisms when you have problems.

Also considering your weight I would suggest you pop along and get checked out by your doctor to ensure that exercise is going to be Ok. They may be able to point you towards a dietician who could help you. Dieticians have to be registered ( anyone can call themselves a nutritionist)

Also you don't need to join a gym to exercise. Walking is great just a little more each day and you'll be amazed the difference that will make. Good luck and feel free to add me.

nonoark · May 2013

Friend request sent

nika_bolinhos · May 2013

Hello Tom,

I hope you get all the support you need to do this. Losing weight can be hard and frustrating. I have reached a plateau with mine I and I was stuck there for 3 months, changes were still happening, I could feel them, but there were moments I thought I was going nuts and that it wasn't possible, last week I finally overcame it.
You'll need to adapt to a new life style and it is important you take it slowly and to keep it possible. Diets sometimes take away all that is delicious about food, and I know that if I had to follow one of the crazy diets I would give up in no time. I love food, I love to cook and I wont take anything in the diet or light version since for me it all tastes not even remotely as something delicious should.
I have sent you a friend request, please add me and we can help each other. I too live on a tight budget and have lots of delicious recipes to share that will help you to keep yourself full and not to fall from the wagon

Brenda4105 · May 2013

Good morning and welcome!
You have taken the first step to changing the rest of your life. I also have tried and done diet after diet. Sure they all work, for a little while. The key is finding what works for you. The first thing I would do if I were you is to figure out what your average calorie intake is right now. If you are currently taking in 3000 calories a day, you can't cut to 1200 and expect this to work for you. Once you figure that out cut that number back. For instance my required calories to just maintain my body are around 2000, I cut that back to 1600. Most days I don't eat that many and still feel like I am full and eat all day. I didn't go on any "major" diet. I started looking at what I eat. Making better choices. Looking at the calories that things have in them. Being mentally aware of what makes me feel full and what leaves me looking for more food.

Trying to eat cleaner is a big one. I don't eat clean all the time, but I have incorporated more fruits and veggies into my diet. A nutristionist told me if the label has more than 5 things in the ingredients, don't eat it. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. That is great advice but doesn't always work. I have switched from ground beef to ground turkey. I found I can buy frozen tubes of it for less a pound than beef. Chicken and fish are fairly cheap to buy and good for you. Farmers markets and in season fruits and veggies are usually cheap. If something is a great deal, look for new ways to fix it. Brown rice, sweet potatoes, whole wheat pasta, little changes that can make a big difference.

Read the different posts on the Community Message board. You will get lots of great ideas and see that there are lots of people out there just like us. If you don't exercise, start. I am the first to tell you I hate to exercise. I have only recently seen that I am going to have to make myself do it. Start slow. If walking to the end of the block seems like to much go half way today. Tomorrow reach for the end of the block. Make little challenges for yourself. It feels great when you succeed at them. It is all about making changes. I will also say you do have to mentally be ready to make a change. Just saying "I'm ready" won't do it. You will fail for sure. Look at your reasons for wanting this life change, make sure your doing it for you, not your family, not the snarky #itch at work that makes mean comments. YOU! This is all about you. Be selfish.

Best of luck. You picked a great place to get started.

ActiveJason · May 2013

Hi Tom,

1st off you shouldn't say you are afraid to post this. Your first step to the road to success is asking for help.

The big thing I find personally is diets suck! A lot of the time they are designed for rapid weight loss using some kind of crazy method. The problem is either you end up unhappy with it and quit, or once you complete the diet you end up go back to your regular routine. What really needs to happy is a lifestyle change, start making healthier choices a habit. Before I joined here I found that swapping something for something healthier helped. For example I LOVE ice cream, but I started buying frozen yogurt instead. Or in place of chips I found a kind of rice cake that tastes just as good. Of course keep in mind that just because it has less calories doesn't mean you can double up (which is what I get tempted to do.) when it comes to food, moderation is key. I need to measure everything out because other wise I end up with a lot more on my plate than I really need.

I find the best thing to do is start small. For example, "I want to loose 5lbs", Once you complete your first goal, you will start feeling confident. If you set to large a goal, you are going to think "am I going to make it?" or "this just isn't working". Just take it one step at a time.

"Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another." John Dewey

You will do this!

I am afraid to even post this...

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