I am afraid to even post this...

Hey Tom,

Saw your post and found it inspiring. You might wonder why but it is because you made an intro post here and that is something I have YET to do. :laugh:

I think your story stuck out to me because it is similar to mine.

In fact, I was actually heavier than you when I started out. Almost 50 pounds heavier.

When you are at our size, it can be tough to even come to a place like this. You probably checked out the forums, saw a ton of comments about people struggling to lose the last 20 pounds, or maybe they wanna lose 50 pounds...or maybe they were high school athletes who let themselves go.

While all of those people are in the same boat as us, it still feels different when you are a super-sized person who has been overweight all your life.

I am no where close to the end of my journey, but I finally feel like I am off to a real sustainable start. Here are some of the tips that have helped me:

1. Get a Scale that fits you: I never had a scale that could fit me. Even a couple years ago when I dedicated myself to the gym I couldn't tell if I was making progress. People said I looked smaller - I didn't see it and I didn't have a scale that could prove it. Lots of people here hate the scale, but it is so motivating to actually see pounds drop. I got a 550lb max scale on Amazon for like 80 bucks. Well worth it. Another tip - I had a HARD time finding 500lb max scales...until I searched for 550lb max...weird.

2. Food Scale: Another scale - luckily much cheaper. I got mine off of ebay for like 15 bucks. Until you actually weigh food, counting calories is a total guessing game. You will see people have added things like "Medium Potato" to the database her e- bit what does that really tell you? If you know the weight of your food MUCH easier to track calories. It will also open your eyes to portion control.

3. Avoid Strict Diets: I started out trying to be all "clean eater" Ted. That didn't last long... It just made me feel bad every time I had something not deemed "clean". After doing some research I found out that "clean eating" is a pretty vague term that means different things to different people. It is more of a catch phrase than anything IMO. I eat much more healthily these days - include much more fruits and vegetables and unprocessed foods, but I don't deprive myself of anything.

4. Calories In/Calories Out - I whole heartedly believe in this. I feel like I am living proof of this concept - although I was so big I want to see how my body reacts when I get lower. But yeah I haven't limited carbs or anything like that. I think people overrate the link between insulin and fat. I think people overate the Glycemic Index as well. Don't over think things - eat less calories than you burn.

5. In Place of a Roadmap - Someone linked to this post earlier - it includes a great way to figure out an approximation of how many calories you use a day. I just want to point out that it is one of those things that work a little differently for us really big guys. The writer of that post will suggest a calorie deficit to aim for, but we can certainly pull off more of a deficit than other people due to our original size.

6. Exercise - Start weight lifting now. We are in the very rare position that we are so big we can actually build some muscle on a calorie deficit. Also if you are new to weight lifting you have "newbie" gains so the combination of both can be quite motivating. Don't worry about the perfect way to weight train - just start doing it however you can. I started with 20lb dumbbells. Then I got 40lb dumbbells. Then I bought an adjustable bench...then I got a sweet set of pro style dumbbells from Craiglist that included 70lb weights. Now I am 20lbs away from a major goal and that is when I will buy a power rack and start "Starting Strength".

I also walk - but be careful. I started out walking 2k - and almost dying LOL I remember almsot calling my brother to pick me up. In a matter of months I was doing 5k minimum each walk - sometimes twice a day. At the start of May I walked 40 miles from May 1st-May4th...thats when I hurt my foot and am still unable to walk long distances. My fault for overdoing it. Sidenote - some good walking/running shoes are key for us to keep our feet safe(r).

At the end of the day I gotta believe you can do it Tom. I gotta believe you can do it, because it helps me believe I can do it. Stay strong and commit to using MFP and you will certainly notice a difference.

Anything the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

You can do this, Tom.

Add me if you'd like more support. I'm not the best rah-rah guy, but my diary's open and I've been here over 170 days in a row.

Welcome!

You can do this.

What works is somewhat different for everyone. Here is what has worked (so far) for me:

I made one change at a time. At first, I started by just logging everything I ate, so I could see what my calorie intake was like (yikes!). Next, I worked at staying within the calorie intake that MFP gave me, one day at a time. Once I was fairly comfortable with that (not perfect --- just generally comfortable that I could do it most of the time), then I added water --- before, I almost never drank water. I started adding more and more each day, and now it's most of what I drink. In the past few months, I've added exercise, about three times a week -- started with walking, and now I do a combination of walking and exercise bike. The weight has come off, not always as quickly as I would like, but it has.

I would encourage you to (a) do this for you, not for other people; and (b) measure your progress against yourself (am I doing better than I was yesterday, last week, last month) rather than against other people. This is about you getting healthier for you. You are worth it, and you can do this.

Please feel free to add me if it is helpful. And best of luck to you on your journey.

Hi
just joined this along with starting insanity a week ago and slimming world a month ago

Welcome to MFP, Tom. Keeping track of everything I eat is the best tool I've ever used and I've already learned so much about nutrition so far. I have a smart phone with the MFP app on it as well as a laptop, so everything I eat get logged on here. I also am working with a good nutritionist to help set goals for a good balance of Protein (VERY important), Fat (yes, fat - sometimes with all the fat-free foods, I've found myself actually low some days), and Carbs. I didn't even have a specific weight loss goal when I first started, but just to eat healthy and get moving more. Later, I've set short term goals and dates and each step is a victory. I also had cut out ALL sodas (was only drinking diet, but lots of it) and am basically on just water for liquids and LOTS of it.
One of the best advices I got early on was: "Concentrate on the foods you CAN eat, not the ones you can't." So true - I'm eating very well, trying lots of new things and loving it, trying to eat very little processed foods, and really eating everything I want to get to my goals. For me, eating 5 to 6 times a day works great and feels good for my body. I started out at 375 and have lost 79 lbs. so far!
Best wishes on your journey. I would be glad to help in any way if I can.
Mike

Congrats to you for reaching out!

You have taken the most important and hardest step so far. I, along with many others, are here to encourage and support. No one here is looking for perfection in this journey. Everyone falls off the wagon from time to time. The important thing is not to beat yourself up when you do. Just get back on the wagon and ride a little further. It's OK to treat yourself once in a while.

Friend request sent.

:flowerforyou:

Tom, the best advice i can offer you is that you need to address your mindset.
your statement,
"This is my final recourse, I am willing to try changing my life style 1 final time, "
is inherently self-limiting, and self defeatist.
Lets say you had a child. How long would you give that child to learn how to walk before you said, thats it, one last attempt and then thats it. if you don't get it this time, you won't walk..?
Answer, no one would ever say that.

point being, every 'failure' has been nothing more than a lesson as to what does not work. SOMETHING must work.

Do not put a limit on how many times you will try.

the secret to success in anything is get up more times than you fall down.

now, that aspect aside, you seem to use food as a drug (mood altering substance) and that is the first mistake.
Retrain your mind to see food in the context of nutrition, ie fuel for the machine. after that, everything gets easier

Hi everyone;

Sent you a PM.

Hi Tom
I totally understand where you ar ecoming from and am happy to provide emotional and moral support on the journey.
feel free to message me, cleighton13 anytime. I have a big amount to loose too....

Hi TOM,

I too am afraid or better said, ashamed of what I have brought myself to become. Life is full of changes, as you know we are not who we were a few years ago and looking back most of us who struggle with weight issues probably have so many other issues that will just have to be part of us. I still don't know why we become so sluggish and lazy that we forget that life is great. Why not think about what is out there for us and start enjoying life the way that we want. If you are here its because you want a change and there comes a time in life when we have to change, not for anyone or anything but for ourselves. We start to hate the image that we have created reflecting from the mirror (I have only one in my home and that is because I am petrified to look at myself the way I really look) but we keep being couch potatoes and resource towards food to satisfy something; but what is it that we want to satisfy? I think that if there are so many changes in life, we can change our image and our health for the better, why wait until we have a decease or die from many weight related issues to finally realize that nothing that we have done has been worth our cycle here on Earth. Let me tell you about myself, I'm a stay-at-home mother of two, married at 15 (already had body and weight issues) who has always been detached from the world. I have hidden inside my house and usually avoid people (other than my husband and children) have no friends because I am not capable of socializing (I don't know how) I only talk to my sister, which I consider my only friend and have had no worries because my husband does everything for me. I am well off economically (My husband is a go-getter, he has his own company and is very out-going and has many friends) but not because of my own means, my children have tons of energy and are growing so fast that I have let many things pass by because I have been lazy and sluggish to enjoy life, I am a couch potato and had no goals until now. I think I may be 260 lbs. I can fit into a size 16 jean (struggle to fit in them) and look horribly fat. I had lost about 70 lbs. about two years ago but then I got pregnant with my second child and gained all of what I had lost (almost, started at 275 lbs went down to 212 lbs withing a year(2010-2011)) I have been dieting for the past 6 months but have really put no effort towards it and as soon as I see food I want to eat. BUT, I too am ready for a change (my husband and children deserve a better wife and mother) I might not deserve what I have had to grace of having but I know that I have to change for myself. I started to walk at my nearby park just yesterday (5/27/2013) and a car passed by me and a teenager yelled out the window that I was fat, but I will not let that one comment bring me down, the reason that I was walking is because I want to lose fat, and gain strength in all aspects and that comment, just made me realize how much I have to work to not be that fat girl anymore. I will not let anyone bring me down, I will let no-one tell me that I can not do it. Opinions that count on my watch are mine and my families, and even then mine come firsthand. You can lose the fat and enjoy a better life, but HARD WORK is the key. Pay attention at what you eat, lower calorie intake and Exercise. Start doing something that moves you, go out, look up at the sky and breath in, imagine yourself in your body but looking healthy and leaner. Take pictures of yourself and don't worry about the scale, focus on the way that your clothes fit. LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER ONCE YOU START! You can do it, trust yourself but be strict towards what you are deciding today.

Kindest Regards,
Maribalcris

I read post like these because I wrote one myself many months ago. I always say that anyone can add me as I like to encourage people as I have been encouraged on my journey. You are on the path to health and wellness. the only thing I am concerned with is you said I am doing this for my family as a gift. I am with you but please, do it for you as a gift to you. KNowing that your family needs you for the long haul can add more weight and guilt and stress if you are not yet ready to do this for you. I think that you are and I would love to cheer you on your path to success. This is just the first step! Don't give up, that is the first rule an don't expect to do it perfect (never ever happens), understand we have all fallen off the wagon face first. We just got back up, dusted ourselves off and went back to the plan at our next meal! We got you and MFP is a great place to start! Welcome...

As everyone has said it is a lifestyle change. I have just started my weight loss journey and I have to remind myself of this everyday. I keep telling myself that it took me many years to put this weight on so its going to take me a while to get it off. If you have the money I would say to sign up with a trainer. I found a small personal training studio that had a six month package I signed up for that way I have to hold myself accountable! That way there is no trying it for just a month I have committed to six months. I wish you all the best!!! You can do this!!!!

When I got married I was 6 foot and weighed around 160 pounds. 40 years later I weighed in at 282 pounds. I feel embarrassed and don't look at myself in the mirror much. When we take pictures I try to have my wife stand in front of me because I don't like how the photos turn out. (She is normal weight). I have decided to concentrate mostly on my eating habits, which in the past has helped more than extra exercise, which is also important. What really killed me emotionally was gaining 30 pounds in the last year. We have a lot of family stress, which is not unusual, so I found myself eating more frequently than I should have.

If any of this is similar to what you are going through, I wish you the best. I hope I can stick with it myself.

As everyone has said, CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a great step!

Lots of folks have provided tremendous advice, there isn't must I can add. Other than - you CAN do this.

Not having a support network on the ground IS tough, but not impossible. People here are amazing, and once you get the ball rolling... the motivation comes from inside anyway.

I think you should take a few minutes to set a few goals - both short and longer term. Reasonable, rationale, attainable goals. Try not to view this is a "diet" or a short-term plan .... this can be your new life. That subtle switch in thinking is what has helped me stay the course. It's a bit of a let down to finally let go of phrases like, "When I get to my goal weight, I can't wait to.... X." That kind of thinking has to go. Replace with, "WheN I get to my goal weight, I'll adjust my portion sizes to maintain because I'm already eating the best possible way to sustain a lifetime."

You. Can.

My best to you.

Hi Tom, you are so brave for doing this. So many of us struggle with similar issues. This site has been amazing. I use it on my phone, my laptop and my tablet so any time I feel like quitting I read the success stories section and am motivated by so many different stories. Good luck. Will send friend request.