I am afraid to even post this...
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Don't be afraid! You are brave to post your stats (I don't even think I have done that). There are so many supportive people here and you can learn so much. I would say, to start, just start moving (walking a bit more) and go for lean proteins, whole grains and lots of fruits and veggies! Looking forward to updates on your progress.0
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Congrats to you for reaching out!
You have taken the most important and hardest step so far. I, along with many others, are here to encourage and support. No one here is looking for perfection in this journey. Everyone falls off the wagon from time to time. The important thing is not to beat yourself up when you do. Just get back on the wagon and ride a little further. It's OK to treat yourself once in a while.
Friend request sent.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I don't know if anyone has talked about this yet. My sister was a food addict, a compulsive overeater. She was 5'3" tall and close to, if not over 400 pounds. She tried diets and tried controlling her food, but the addiction was stronger than her. She would not seek further help. She died in February 2011 of a massive heart attack. The extra fat just wore her lungs and heart down, as well as the rest of her body.
My mother was also a food addict, compulsive overeater, and dieted over and over and over again for years. She always went back to eating addictively. Finally, she got to a size where she couldn't breathe, and had to be on oxygen. At that point she realized she was going to die and sought out Overeaters Anonymous meetings. She worked with a sponsor, committed to the food she'd eat every day, worked the 12 Steps. She went down to a size 16 and was the happiest I had ever seen in her life. She has passed, but not due to her food addiction.
Losing my sister to her addiction was one of the saddest things I have been through in my life. I wish I could have fixed her but addiction is a horrible thing.0 -
Tom, the best advice i can offer you is that you need to address your mindset.
your statement,
"This is my final recourse, I am willing to try changing my life style 1 final time, "
is inherently self-limiting, and self defeatist.
Lets say you had a child. How long would you give that child to learn how to walk before you said, thats it, one last attempt and then thats it. if you don't get it this time, you won't walk..?
Answer, no one would ever say that.
point being, every 'failure' has been nothing more than a lesson as to what does not work. SOMETHING must work.
Do not put a limit on how many times you will try.
the secret to success in anything is get up more times than you fall down.
now, that aspect aside, you seem to use food as a drug (mood altering substance) and that is the first mistake.
Retrain your mind to see food in the context of nutrition, ie fuel for the machine. after that, everything gets easier0 -
Hi Tom! I know you've been inundated with lots and lots of great support, suggestions, encouragement and friend requests. That is what this place is all about!
I've struggled with my weight my entire life, and have been "dieting" for 25 of my 36 years. No idea how or why, but it finally clicked that this is not an "all or nothing" endeavor, that it needs to be real and sustainable...for the rest of my life. It clicked that I was being unreasonable in expecting perfection every single moment of every single day, and when I finally realized that this is a marathon, not a sprint, this huge weight came off my shoulders, and I started making more progress. I also realized that its about making choices...so if I choose to eat the cupcake, that's fine, but then I better choose to exercise a bit more. I also realized that if something tastes really good, I don't feel guilty about eating it. Its when I just consumed calories ("unhealthier" calories) that I didn't enjoy that I feel guilty. I honestly haven't read the 4 pages of posts, so perhaps some of our MFP friends have already mentioned this, but it's as much psychological and physical. This blog was just posted, and this is EXACTLY what I finally realized, but his writing is brilliant.
http://body-improvements.com/2013/05/24/undiet-your-diet/
This is the last time you will have start this.... Believe in yourself...we all do!0 -
Hi everyone;
Sent you a PM.0 -
Hi Tom! I sent a friend request a little bit ago. While the scale is a helpful tool, the tape measure is just as helpful...especially when the scale stalls. Take your measurements and once a month re-take them. Good things come to those who wait.
I don't know if it's in your budget but a gym membership and a trainer are what have kept me committed to this lifestyle change. I joined Anytime fitness and they were able to work a trainer into my already tight budget. Like the others have said just get moving. I have 2 dogs at home that DEMAND daily walks so that's where I started.
You have found a great resource in MFP and the people who spend time here. Now get off the Internet and get moving!0 -
Hi Tom
I totally understand where you ar ecoming from and am happy to provide emotional and moral support on the journey.
feel free to message me, cleighton13 anytime. I have a big amount to loose too....0 -
Well Tom like with any problem the first thing you need to do is admit there is a problem and get help.
I turned 38yrs old yesterday and I am recommitting today to stay on track.
I have lost some weight since I started myfitnesspal and watching what I eat, but I know I could try harder.
I am presently 270lbs, and the puts me in the 'obese' category.
I struggle with depression and from what I read, I see that that could also be a battle you may be fighting without knowing you are fighting it.
Every day is a struggle Tom, and every day does requires acknowledging that if we don't do something it won't get better.
I have a very strong and supportive family and network of friends so if I need to start fresh every single day due to a set back, then that is exactly what I do. Try to focus on little goals a day. Don't worry about the weight right now. Just try to get more active. I am not saying run a marathon...but even doing the dishes...and dancing like no body is watching burns calories!
I understand how hard it is. I have severe asthma as well as injuries from a car accident that wrecked my back and I have lost a lot of strength, but I know by doing nothing it will continue to get worse and I have too much ahead of me to look forward to to settle for what my life is now.
You have all my support and understanding and if there is anything I can do to help than don't hesitate to ask.
I don't always get on this site, but I find keeping a small notebook to record what I eat helpful.
I don't make wanting sweets or treats a guilt thing. I just acknowledge the calories and serving sizes and that seems to work for me. I take the time to ENJOY and SAVOUR the flavours of what I am eating. It slows how quickly I consume it as well as calms me down because frankly I eat out of boredom or emotional issues.
Nobody is perfect. We just need to keep trying.
Good luck Tom!0 -
Hi TOM,
I too am afraid or better said, ashamed of what I have brought myself to become. Life is full of changes, as you know we are not who we were a few years ago and looking back most of us who struggle with weight issues probably have so many other issues that will just have to be part of us. I still don't know why we become so sluggish and lazy that we forget that life is great. Why not think about what is out there for us and start enjoying life the way that we want. If you are here its because you want a change and there comes a time in life when we have to change, not for anyone or anything but for ourselves. We start to hate the image that we have created reflecting from the mirror (I have only one in my home and that is because I am petrified to look at myself the way I really look) but we keep being couch potatoes and resource towards food to satisfy something; but what is it that we want to satisfy? I think that if there are so many changes in life, we can change our image and our health for the better, why wait until we have a decease or die from many weight related issues to finally realize that nothing that we have done has been worth our cycle here on Earth. Let me tell you about myself, I'm a stay-at-home mother of two, married at 15 (already had body and weight issues) who has always been detached from the world. I have hidden inside my house and usually avoid people (other than my husband and children) have no friends because I am not capable of socializing (I don't know how) I only talk to my sister, which I consider my only friend and have had no worries because my husband does everything for me. I am well off economically (My husband is a go-getter, he has his own company and is very out-going and has many friends) but not because of my own means, my children have tons of energy and are growing so fast that I have let many things pass by because I have been lazy and sluggish to enjoy life, I am a couch potato and had no goals until now. I think I may be 260 lbs. I can fit into a size 16 jean (struggle to fit in them) and look horribly fat. I had lost about 70 lbs. about two years ago but then I got pregnant with my second child and gained all of what I had lost (almost, started at 275 lbs went down to 212 lbs withing a year(2010-2011)) I have been dieting for the past 6 months but have really put no effort towards it and as soon as I see food I want to eat. BUT, I too am ready for a change (my husband and children deserve a better wife and mother) I might not deserve what I have had to grace of having but I know that I have to change for myself. I started to walk at my nearby park just yesterday (5/27/2013) and a car passed by me and a teenager yelled out the window that I was fat, but I will not let that one comment bring me down, the reason that I was walking is because I want to lose fat, and gain strength in all aspects and that comment, just made me realize how much I have to work to not be that fat girl anymore. I will not let anyone bring me down, I will let no-one tell me that I can not do it. Opinions that count on my watch are mine and my families, and even then mine come firsthand. You can lose the fat and enjoy a better life, but HARD WORK is the key. Pay attention at what you eat, lower calorie intake and Exercise. Start doing something that moves you, go out, look up at the sky and breath in, imagine yourself in your body but looking healthy and leaner. Take pictures of yourself and don't worry about the scale, focus on the way that your clothes fit. LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER ONCE YOU START! You can do it, trust yourself but be strict towards what you are deciding today.
Kindest Regards,
Maribalcris0 -
Hey buddy - welcome!!
I joined this site a couple weeks ago - and I'm honestly surprised at how well it's been going. The thing is, you really have to work at it - track every little bite you put in your mouth (that 1/4 tbs of ketchup, 2 potato chips, dollop of sour cream...seriously, keep track of those things). And if you haven't already, buy a food scale. Eyeballing a portion of chicken is difficult - I would eat 2-3 portions, but track 1 or 1.5 because I didn't realize I was SO far off.
I also started with small changes - that's what worked best for me. First I knocked out fast food. I tracked my calories, but always went over my goal - and that was okay. One step at a time - remove your daily burger, make it a bi-weekly thing and keep portions of the crap smaller. For example, instead of a quarter pounder - I'm treating myself to a happy meal for lunch today
Then I cut back on pop. I used to drink diet coke like it was going out of style - but that stuff can be very bloating, if that's a word, and it also triggers an insulin spike similar to a regular calorie Coke. The insulin will leech whatever sugar is left in your blood and leave you exhausted. So now I have the real thing a few times a week, instead of a few times a day. I was also never a water drinker - so if you're not, start. It fills the belly and helps curb the ridiculous hunger pangs (especially the first few weeks).
I also don't know how you do physically, but I HATE exercise. I can't stand it. So that's the last thing to change for me - I've slowly added first weight training (once a week, twice a week, now up to three times a week). Then I added something fun for me - yoga Next step - cardio. Eventually.
If you try to change every single aspect of your life at the same time, you'll get overwhelmed. At least, that's why I never stuck with any of my "diets" before. I'd forbid cookies, junk, force myself to do exercises that are not fun for me. And I'd burn out. I think making small changes helps to keep that at bay.
Also, make sure to treat yourself - you do deserve it. If you really want ice cream - have a scoop! The trick is to keep it to a portion, not the whole carton, and track those calories.
Best of luck to you! I'm sending a friend request 0 -
I read post like these because I wrote one myself many months ago. I always say that anyone can add me as I like to encourage people as I have been encouraged on my journey. You are on the path to health and wellness. the only thing I am concerned with is you said I am doing this for my family as a gift. I am with you but please, do it for you as a gift to you. KNowing that your family needs you for the long haul can add more weight and guilt and stress if you are not yet ready to do this for you. I think that you are and I would love to cheer you on your path to success. This is just the first step! Don't give up, that is the first rule an don't expect to do it perfect (never ever happens), understand we have all fallen off the wagon face first. We just got back up, dusted ourselves off and went back to the plan at our next meal! We got you and MFP is a great place to start! Welcome...0
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You have gotten some great advice here. I wanted to make one comment about the month thing. One common thing that happens is that sometimes people expect motivation to carry them all the way through this process. That simply isn't going to happen. You will have to learn to rely on commitments you make to yourself.
Having said that, it isn't a perfect process. Some changes may be easier to sustain than others. It is really about progress over time. If you have setbacks, don't stop! Pick yourself up, focus on the positives, find a mini goal to work on and keep on going!
Don't try to change everything overnight. It's okay to work on pieces at a time. The goal is to make real sustainable changes. This is far more important than perfection.
Try picking a mini goal (change) to tackle each week. The first one may simply be to just get in the habit of logging. Let that data guide you. Don't despair if things aren't perfect. One step at a time.
It will be important to reflect on what you are doing. Just don't let that derail you. Continue to be honest with yourself but also be good to yourself.0 -
As everyone has said it is a lifestyle change. I have just started my weight loss journey and I have to remind myself of this everyday. I keep telling myself that it took me many years to put this weight on so its going to take me a while to get it off. If you have the money I would say to sign up with a trainer. I found a small personal training studio that had a six month package I signed up for that way I have to hold myself accountable! That way there is no trying it for just a month I have committed to six months. I wish you all the best!!! You can do this!!!!0
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Hi Tom!! It's so many of us going through this battle, but we are here for each other until the battle is won!!! praying strength, determination and success your way!! My Pal request sent!!!:happy:0
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When I got married I was 6 foot and weighed around 160 pounds. 40 years later I weighed in at 282 pounds. I feel embarrassed and don't look at myself in the mirror much. When we take pictures I try to have my wife stand in front of me because I don't like how the photos turn out. (She is normal weight). I have decided to concentrate mostly on my eating habits, which in the past has helped more than extra exercise, which is also important. What really killed me emotionally was gaining 30 pounds in the last year. We have a lot of family stress, which is not unusual, so I found myself eating more frequently than I should have.
If any of this is similar to what you are going through, I wish you the best. I hope I can stick with it myself.0 -
Jesus good gracious omg... umm, okay please forgive the impersonal conduct in which this message is going to be phrased;
Thank you all for the overwhelming support, the simple fact that this grew to 5 pages in just 6 hours in simply astonishing. I don't know how I could even think of quitting now with the support I have here. So, today I'm going to spend as much time I can answering the nearly 100 personal messages and friend requests. So please just bare with me, I'm not ignoring anyone but for someone who never even had a FaceBook out of embarrassment this is certainly new to me. I will get to you all eventually. I promise.
And once again, Thank you SOOOOO Much, You're all amazing
-Tom0 -
As everyone has said, CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a great step!
Lots of folks have provided tremendous advice, there isn't must I can add. Other than - you CAN do this.
Not having a support network on the ground IS tough, but not impossible. People here are amazing, and once you get the ball rolling... the motivation comes from inside anyway.
I think you should take a few minutes to set a few goals - both short and longer term. Reasonable, rationale, attainable goals. Try not to view this is a "diet" or a short-term plan .... this can be your new life. That subtle switch in thinking is what has helped me stay the course. It's a bit of a let down to finally let go of phrases like, "When I get to my goal weight, I can't wait to.... X." That kind of thinking has to go. Replace with, "WheN I get to my goal weight, I'll adjust my portion sizes to maintain because I'm already eating the best possible way to sustain a lifetime."
You. Can.
My best to you.0 -
Congrats Tom on initiating the process of conquering your weight loss goals. You should not be embarrassed or ashamed for posting. Almost everyone on here is losing weight, has lost weight and have experienced what you are going through to some extent regardless of how many pounds we all have to lose. It's hard but the more support you have the better. I think you should commit to yourself to log on EVERY single day. You will be amazed at how much that one task can lead to so much success. The inspiration, motivation, words of encouragement all help you even when you are feeling down.
I logged on for months even when I was eating horribly and gaining . . . but am not back on track.
I also would recommend "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Laura Spangle. (Check Amazon and get it used or your local library). It's a GREAT book. Every day there are 2 pages to read that give you great tips and motivation to stay on track regardless of what method you are using to lose weight.
Good luck! you CAN do it! :-)0 -
Hi Tom, you are so brave for doing this. So many of us struggle with similar issues. This site has been amazing. I use it on my phone, my laptop and my tablet so any time I feel like quitting I read the success stories section and am motivated by so many different stories. Good luck. Will send friend request. 0
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