BOYS SUCK!

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  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Every night? Not a good sign. Are you fun to be around?

    Once in a while? Let it go. You're not married, and no kids, I presume. You're just dating.

    Men have their own interests too. Nobody likes to be mistreated, but this isn't that, and women hate doormats *much* worse.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    While it is not the best thing to do in a relationship to be out with the guys all night, I also don't think he's in the wrong. I know thats not the general consensus here but... he was (I'm assuming) like that when you met him. You would like him to change (not always a bad thing) but he's holding on to it.

    I say ask him to come home after a certain time because you worry. Talk to him and ask him rather than tell him. If this thing is bothering you a LOT then I guess might be time to break up although since I personally have seen many bad relationship (hard drug users, women beater, good for nothing mooches, pimps etc) I'd say its a small thing to worry about.

    Ask him to slowly decrease the amount of pot he's smoking since its not the best thing to do or maybe ask the friend to spend some time at your place but make sure the friend knows to leave home after a certain time.

    ETA: The cheating accusations are downright disturbing and disgusting. I'm very glad that you don't think its cheating.

    I have to agree with Taunto here.

    Guys need a regular night out with the guys, just as girls need a regular night out with the girls. You also need date nights with each other. That's the funny thing about being social animals.

    I'm not going into the pot discussion. To each their own and all I can say is that it could be a lot worse.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    All value judgements aside, is this the kind of thing you want to live with forever?

    Imagine what it'll be like when you're married and have kids. Do you think he'll stay home every night with you then, or will he head out to get stoned while you're at home with the baby?

    Whatever works for you is fine. Just be sure you're up to that stuff for the long run.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Maybe you should get high and play video games with him so he doesn't have to go to his friend's.



    It's understandable that you'd be upset, and venting is only natural, but you have to recognize that based on what you typed in anger it really does look a certain way.

    As a suggestion to you, because it's something that I'm working on myself, I try to only speak praise of my wife to others when I'm upset. I'll talk with her about things that upset/annoy me, but to everyone else she's the most perfect woman in the whole world. I take full blame for everything when I'm venting about problems, even to my closest friends. What this does is force me to look at things from her point of view. I think it's gone a long way in improving our relationship.

    Since you are sure he isn't cheating, what is there at his friend's house that you guys don't have at home? Why can't you have it at your place? Why does he claim illness with your family around? What could be done to alleviate that?

    I'm not saying it's all your fault, but if you look at it that way you may have an easier time finding common ground for compromise.
  • DrewMaxwell
    DrewMaxwell Posts: 269 Member
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    Serious question: how often do you initiate sex? I guarantee if you tell him "I'm horny, so I wouldn't disappear after dinner if I were you," that dude ain't going anywhere.

    Otherwise, move out. Find other things to do with your time when he's not around. He will mysteriously start making more of an effort. He knows you're at home in bed waiting for whenever is convenient for him, and this is why he's at his friend's house.

    I agree with this. The guy is taking for granted that you'll put up with however he wants to act. That is basically saying that he doesn't give a *kitten* about how it affects you and that means that he doesn't value you or the relationship as he should.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    What dude does that? Lol

    When my woman says we're going to bed, I'm in bed before she gets up off the couch, naked and tenting the covers. Lol.

    Lol

    A dude who doesnt get what he wants or doesnt have the drive she does. If the relationship is on the rocks the rocks are often in the bed.
    Oh, and starting a topic titled "boys suck" sounds like an episode of Oprah. ha ha
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)

    My thoughts exactly - your subject line says "boys suck." You are absolutley right, they do. Real men know how to treat a woman. Time to stop making excuses for him and move on.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Have you tried talking to him? Men in general are not mind readers and I Really wish more women understood that.


    Also... Women are just as bad as men in the suckage department... honestly humans as a whole are full of suck.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If he does that many things that upset you, you should talk to him about those things. And if you continue to be upset, this probably isn't a happy or long lasting relationship.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
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    It may just be me but....I wouldnt leave the house for nothing. If my woman was in there ready for bed wink wink. I wouldnt leave. The priorities on this guy....wow. Wonder what other rearranged priorities this guy has? Will he post pone college, or not pay rent because he is gambling? WOW
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    I'd like to point out that when you say 'well he's not acting like a real man' but phrase it in such a way that sounds like 'if I was your man I'd never treat you that way' that's not exactly acting 'like a real man'.
  • Swaggs51
    Swaggs51 Posts: 716 Member
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    Yes we do, and so do some girls people just tend to be not good natured
  • CrankMeUp
    CrankMeUp Posts: 2,860 Member
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    ..but MEN are wonderful:flowerforyou:
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
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    Couldn't have said it better myself!
    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
  • CaptainHNNNGGG
    CaptainHNNNGGG Posts: 205 Member
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    I used to do the same with with my GF. Then she dumped me.
  • plynn54
    plynn54 Posts: 912 Member
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    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)

    this
  • JustAGirl0916
    JustAGirl0916 Posts: 1,020
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    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)

    I agree with this
  • mikejholmes
    mikejholmes Posts: 291 Member
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    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
    QFT
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    He sounds immature...maybe its time to trade in the "boy" for a MAN? :laugh:

    A guy wants to stay out and he's immature? I think you're looking for a spineless doormat rather than a man.
    You're reading WAY too much into a few words..... nobody wants a spinless doormat :noway:
  • caspergirl7
    caspergirl7 Posts: 590 Member
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    Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)

    haha!! ^^^this!!!

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