BOYS SUCK!
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Every night? Not a good sign. Are you fun to be around?
Once in a while? Let it go. You're not married, and no kids, I presume. You're just dating.
Men have their own interests too. Nobody likes to be mistreated, but this isn't that, and women hate doormats *much* worse.0 -
While it is not the best thing to do in a relationship to be out with the guys all night, I also don't think he's in the wrong. I know thats not the general consensus here but... he was (I'm assuming) like that when you met him. You would like him to change (not always a bad thing) but he's holding on to it.
I say ask him to come home after a certain time because you worry. Talk to him and ask him rather than tell him. If this thing is bothering you a LOT then I guess might be time to break up although since I personally have seen many bad relationship (hard drug users, women beater, good for nothing mooches, pimps etc) I'd say its a small thing to worry about.
Ask him to slowly decrease the amount of pot he's smoking since its not the best thing to do or maybe ask the friend to spend some time at your place but make sure the friend knows to leave home after a certain time.
ETA: The cheating accusations are downright disturbing and disgusting. I'm very glad that you don't think its cheating.
I have to agree with Taunto here.
Guys need a regular night out with the guys, just as girls need a regular night out with the girls. You also need date nights with each other. That's the funny thing about being social animals.
I'm not going into the pot discussion. To each their own and all I can say is that it could be a lot worse.0 -
All value judgements aside, is this the kind of thing you want to live with forever?
Imagine what it'll be like when you're married and have kids. Do you think he'll stay home every night with you then, or will he head out to get stoned while you're at home with the baby?
Whatever works for you is fine. Just be sure you're up to that stuff for the long run.0 -
Maybe you should get high and play video games with him so he doesn't have to go to his friend's.
It's understandable that you'd be upset, and venting is only natural, but you have to recognize that based on what you typed in anger it really does look a certain way.
As a suggestion to you, because it's something that I'm working on myself, I try to only speak praise of my wife to others when I'm upset. I'll talk with her about things that upset/annoy me, but to everyone else she's the most perfect woman in the whole world. I take full blame for everything when I'm venting about problems, even to my closest friends. What this does is force me to look at things from her point of view. I think it's gone a long way in improving our relationship.
Since you are sure he isn't cheating, what is there at his friend's house that you guys don't have at home? Why can't you have it at your place? Why does he claim illness with your family around? What could be done to alleviate that?
I'm not saying it's all your fault, but if you look at it that way you may have an easier time finding common ground for compromise.0 -
Serious question: how often do you initiate sex? I guarantee if you tell him "I'm horny, so I wouldn't disappear after dinner if I were you," that dude ain't going anywhere.
Otherwise, move out. Find other things to do with your time when he's not around. He will mysteriously start making more of an effort. He knows you're at home in bed waiting for whenever is convenient for him, and this is why he's at his friend's house.
I agree with this. The guy is taking for granted that you'll put up with however he wants to act. That is basically saying that he doesn't give a *kitten* about how it affects you and that means that he doesn't value you or the relationship as he should.0 -
What dude does that? Lol
When my woman says we're going to bed, I'm in bed before she gets up off the couch, naked and tenting the covers. Lol.
Lol
A dude who doesnt get what he wants or doesnt have the drive she does. If the relationship is on the rocks the rocks are often in the bed.
Oh, and starting a topic titled "boys suck" sounds like an episode of Oprah. ha ha0 -
Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
My thoughts exactly - your subject line says "boys suck." You are absolutley right, they do. Real men know how to treat a woman. Time to stop making excuses for him and move on.0 -
Have you tried talking to him? Men in general are not mind readers and I Really wish more women understood that.
Also... Women are just as bad as men in the suckage department... honestly humans as a whole are full of suck.0 -
If he does that many things that upset you, you should talk to him about those things. And if you continue to be upset, this probably isn't a happy or long lasting relationship.0
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It may just be me but....I wouldnt leave the house for nothing. If my woman was in there ready for bed wink wink. I wouldnt leave. The priorities on this guy....wow. Wonder what other rearranged priorities this guy has? Will he post pone college, or not pay rent because he is gambling? WOW0
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I'd like to point out that when you say 'well he's not acting like a real man' but phrase it in such a way that sounds like 'if I was your man I'd never treat you that way' that's not exactly acting 'like a real man'.0
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Yes we do, and so do some girls people just tend to be not good natured0
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..but MEN are wonderful:flowerforyou:0
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Couldn't have said it better myself!Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)0
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I used to do the same with with my GF. Then she dumped me.0
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Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
this0 -
Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
I agree with this0 -
QFTStop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)0 -
You're reading WAY too much into a few words..... nobody wants a spinless doormat :noway:He sounds immature...maybe its time to trade in the "boy" for a MAN? :laugh:
A guy wants to stay out and he's immature? I think you're looking for a spineless doormat rather than a man.0 -
Stop dating boys and upgrade to a man. Just saying :-)
haha!! ^^^this!!!0 -
It's definitely a maturity issue with your boy. The choice is yours..........0
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You're reading WAY too much into a few words..... nobody wants a spinless doormat :noway:He sounds immature...maybe its time to trade in the "boy" for a MAN? :laugh:
A guy wants to stay out and he's immature? I think you're looking for a spineless doormat rather than a man.
And you guys are jumping to name calling because there's a guy out there in a relationship who also...*gasp...has other friends besides his girlfriend.0 -
He doesn't go every night.. but goes on nights when he claimed he was 'feeling sick' before when we were with my family but then hes fine to go out?
I don't think he's lying, he probably is feeling sick at your parent's house and as soon as he gets to the friends house and blazes it he feels MUCH better. :smokin:
Kinda like how I sometimes get a tension headache at my sis-in-laws house, or a nervous tummy, but as soon as we leave and I get a home and have a glass of wine, I feel so much better.:drinker:
Pros:
1) at least he doesn't have the contraband in your house or car
2) at least you don't have to get contact high
3) at least you don't have to hear the friend's lame jokes or smell his farts:flowerforyou:
4) at least you get your bed all to yourself for awhile
5) at least you have time to MFP
6) at least you have time to call sancho or set one up
7) at least you have time to call sugardaddy or set one up
8) at least you have time to study, or get a night job to earn the money for your own place
9) at least you'll have time to pack your ish while he's gone and move out before he gets home high, sleeps it off, wakes up and notices you're gone.
Cons:
1) who's gonna hold you at night?
2) how is this invisible relationship caulkblocking you from getting into a real one?
3) when you look at his pothead friend and think "he's winning" what does that do to your self esteem?
4) when you realize you have the taco and they are doubling up on sausage what does that do to your self esteem?
5) he's probably gonna like video games for a long time, and if that's not your thing, it might be weird for awhile.
6) pot can be costly and so he may not be the one to afford to move out, it's on you.0 -
Stop dating or any serious realtionships. Find some guys to hang with, but focus on work, school, friends, and enjoying life. Worry about boys and getting serious with them around 40.
w3rd.0 -
WAH WAH WAH!!! He doesn't spend time with me! He ALWAYS goes to his friends house and leaves me at home!!! I just don't understand! Gimme advice!
Oh wait... no he doesn't... he only goes like... once a month!! You don't know whats going on and neither do I! WAH WAH WAH!!! I don't like your input based on the only half true information I blasted all over a public forum!
Anything said, you welcomed when you posted this nonsense on here. You should probably make up your mind about what the story is before you post on here and then have to backtrack later.
Get your head straight then look for a real man.0 -
I just have to vent for a second and I am wondering if anybody feels the same.. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and I love him very much but he does things that piss me off or drive me crazy and I can't take it! We live together and instead of coming to bed at night he goes over to his friends house.. It just bothers me like crazy! And thats not even all of it =[ Just feeling frustrated!
Well I doubt you'll have a problem finding someone decent, if he ain't going to put the effort in then why bother?0 -
Personally, sleeping together would be a priority for me. Not to mention, I would not enjoy being woken up at 3 am when he gets back. I have a daytime life that I have to be awake for, and I'd consider it rude of him to do it regularly if he didn't have to be out for work.
Anyone will do things to piss you off or drive you crazy sometimes. If he didn't, I wouldn't think he'd have enough personality to be interesting.
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WAH WAH WAH!!! He doesn't spend time with me! He ALWAYS goes to his friends house and leaves me at home!!! I just don't understand! Gimme advice!
Oh wait... no he doesn't... he only goes like... once a month!! You don't know whats going on and neither do I! WAH WAH WAH!!! I don't like your input based on the only half true information I blasted all over a public forum!
Anything said, you welcomed when you posted this nonsense on here. You should probably make up your mind about what the story is before you post on here and then have to backtrack later.
Get your head straight then look for a real man.
boomshanka.
I couldn't have said it better myself. and i tried. I tip my cap to you.
tallyhoe!0 -
i appreciate everyones comments, but to be honest nobody knows my relationship and I don't know anybody elses relationship.. We have a great relationship besides this and you may all think what you want but I know he is not cheating. He has changed ALOT since we first started dating.. He used to smoke way more and now he only does like once a month.. I literally got into the fight with him and came on here and typed out my feelings because i was upset.. of course i still am but you guys dont know our relationship and as much as everybody wants to assume hes cheating, there still are plenty of GOOD guys out there.. yes he is probably sitting at his friends house just playing music and possibly smoking not like other *kitten* who go out to bars and hit on every possible thing with 2 legs. but anyways.. really just wanted to vent quick and did not think people would say as much as they did..
You are correct in that we do not know your relationship. The one thing I do know, is he is putting something else higher than you, When someone does that, it shows a lack of concern for the other person. I would worry that other things will be put higher than you later in the relationship. I have been married for 21 years and it would have never lasted this long if either one of us put other things as higher priorities than each other.0 -
what was he like when you met him?
im guessing, pot smoking hangs out with his friends kinda guy.
so why do you expect him to change into what you want him to be? like automatically he should not want to smoke pot and do what you want him to do.
you are separate people, maybe he wants to hang out with his friend, any maybe you should talk to him about it and find a compromise.
you signed up with the guy, im pretty sure you knew what he was like, so either accept him the way he is and try to work on finding a middle ground together or
go find the guy you have in your head that you arn't dating. whos probably named chet and has no balls. tada!
find your dream guy, not some guy.
EDIT: I would never do that to my girl. shes too hot to sleep alone.
^ Basically, this.0
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