Lack of Support - Lots of Sabotage

Sometimes people just don't want you to succeed because it will highlight their failures. If my husband acted so unsupportive, I would use that as encouragement to rub it in his face when I hit my goal weight.

Just stick to your healthy habits. Don't give up! It's going to be very hard, but continue to reach out the your mfp, read about fitness and health, work out when you are bored or upset and just channel your energy to the new healthy you! you deserve it!

I get complaints of how much time I spend exercising instead of with the family, then I take a couple nights off to spend 'with the family' and I end up alone watching tv, so I just go and listen to the complaints. I think we are all in the same boat, I get in trouble for buying new clothes, buying different foods just for me, etc, but I have decided to finally do this for me, it's not for them anyway.

I agree with Gnomelove, it would make me work harder to prove to myself that I am worthy of myself and prove them wrong...When I decided many years ago to quit smoking , my husband and one of his friends laughed as if to say ...she won't succeed..WELL WELL enough said I have been smoke free now for 15 years...so yes lady you can do it and I believe in you.....:flowerforyou:

You are not alone, you have everyone on MFP that supports you and understands the trials and tribulations of dieting. You will find that it is the people closest to you that may want you to fail or will be your biggest critics. When you fail it makes them feel as if what they are doing is okay. " She's/ He's not dieting or working out so it must be okay for me not to" People that don't feel good about themselves can be the most negative at times. Just keep on with your program and remember the support you have with all your friends on MFP

You have to do it for you and by you. You are right it would be great if everyone around us did the same things and had the same goals but that is not the way life works in general. And that is exactly why sites like this do so well. It is a community of people, all over the world with the same goals.

Work hard for yourself, come to these message boards for your insperation, uplifting stories of people overcoming much worse things than we have to and carry on. The only person who can sabotage your results is yourself, noone can make you eat bad, not workout, or completely give up but yourself. And because you are here, taking that big step (and have already lost 14 pounds) tells everyone that you want this badly. So keep moving forward and good luck!

Although my husband is supportive of whatever I am trying to accomplish, he doesn't always understand the importance. He for one has never had a weight issue. EVER. So, while he is saying "Great job with heading to the gym today!", he's shoveling in ice cream and asking if I would bake him some cookies, lol.

He loves me and I love him but you know what, I just have to do this for myself and that is okay. If he wants to clean out every snack in the house until he is happy, I will go find something else to do if it is annoying. If he wants to sit on his behind while I go for a long run and sweat until I want to pass out, so be it. There are many things he does that I don't always understand so I try not to be too upset about it. We are different people and will not always have the same goals or priorities with everything in life.

Here on MFP, we are pretty much on the same path of getting healthier even if our desired goals are a bit different. I am glad that you posted on here and are working to make things better for yourself. When you don't always have a cheer team at home, this is a good place to go. I wish you the best and remember that you have to make good choices for yourself , even if the people around you don't make the same.

My husband can't even bring himself to show me any kind of encouragement or support. To make it worse - he's always enabling me or sabotaging my diet. I don't think he sabotages on purpose - but it's really starting to weigh on me (literally).

I'm finding it really hard to keep myself going when I can't have those I'm close to on the same page as me.

For once in my life it would be so nice if someone would just show one little ounce of interest in what I'm trying to do for me. I feel so alone.

My hubby started that way too - he didn't mean to hurt my feelings - I think it was maybe his insecurity (he is a bit on the heavy side too). I think he just didn't think...you know what I mean?

Now, 2.5 years later, he is fully supportive, even asking if he should weigh my food for me when he cooks. He will come along, I think. Just hang in there and do what you need to do for yourself.

Golly. Thank you so much everyone for a wake up call.

I have the most supportive husband ever. He's given up sugar, fast food, and lots of other things off his own bat, to support me. He allows me to get treats when I hit mini goals like a hair cut, new makeup, a trip somewhere; and brings home helpful surprises like sugar-free lollies or a nice fillet of salmon. He has even started exercising, too. And he accepts and jokes about me needing a whole new wardrobe of clothes by the time I've reached goal.

I was just thinking this morning how nobody seems to understand how much work it is to lose weight and be dedicated to it. How shallow and ungrateful I can be without realising it!!!

It is hard work. It does take self-control and dedication. And it sure is a LOAD easier with support.

I suggest you write a list of the reasons you want to lose weight and whenever you struggle, take it out and think about those things. What's changed? Have you achieved some of those things, in part or in whole?

AND, share with your MFP community & friends - the highs, the lows, and the ho-hums. All of us know what it takes to change a lifestyle and live that every day.

You can be the person you want to be. Don't let lack of support at home stop you achieving. I'm sure he will realise and love the results in due course.