I don't know how to stop binging

Unfortunately I work 55 hours a week, so it's not possible to attend any sort of meeting.

make time

QFT

If you really want to find a way, you will. You can either make the decision to stop shoving food in your mouth when your not hungry or admit you might have a problem and need help and find a way to fix it.

Time may be scarce but you shot down that idea without even looking into the program and seeing if there is a time slot you can make. The majority of us have jobs, kids, or both...but making time for what is going to end up helping you is worth the effort.

Posting on an internet forum might help for about 3 seconds, but if you shoot down the sound advice with excuses, then you're not really ready to do what it takes to make it happen.

Ok, fine. I'll play. The ONE meeting in my area in a time and day that I can attend is 15 miles away. I'm aware of OA and I have read all about OA. I am not a religious person and I do not need to find god. I do not need to be preached to. I shot it down without going any further because I didn't want to offend people. Obviously I have not been afforded that same courtesy here.

Good luck in your search for help. :flowerforyou:

Sorry to have made a suggestion without having all the facts. Obviously we are all supposed to just know these things when you ask for help.

This isn't an issue about her being hungry. the issue is she can't stop from putting food in her mouth. i think you need some type of counseling, the sooner the better. your problem can only get worse if not stopped.

Unfortunately I work 55 hours a week, so it's not possible to attend any sort of meeting.

make time

I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for over a year and half. I work 50-60 hours a week and I make time to work out AND attend meetings because it is something that I want to make time for. It is really hard sometimes, and it is by no means going to be easy. You have to make sacrifices. Some weeks I focus more on my family or friends and so I make time to attend an online support group...there are tons of support groups on the internet :laugh:

I am an emotional food binger so I understand what you mean by the uncontrollable factor, you've eaten 3 servings before you even realize what you're doing right? Yeah, it sucks. One of my remedies to avoid the office snacks is to always have a snack drawer. I keep things that are sweet and salty to satisfy my urges like planters granola bars in my desk. I keep bananas on my desk too. There are lots of healthier options out there doll! You can do it!!

Add me and we can keep on each other to keep strong :flowerforyou:

Just to be clear, when I suggested a support group I was not suggesting that you "find god", I was just suggesting talking to people who know exactly how you feel and can help you not feel so guilty and angry with yourself.

Unfortunately I work 55 hours a week, so it's not possible to attend any sort of meeting.

make time

QFT

If you really want to find a way, you will. You can either make the decision to stop shoving food in your mouth when your not hungry or admit you might have a problem and need help and find a way to fix it.

Time may be scarce but you shot down that idea without even looking into the program and seeing if there is a time slot you can make. The majority of us have jobs, kids, or both...but making time for what is going to end up helping you is worth the effort.

Posting on an internet forum might help for about 3 seconds, but if you shoot down the sound advice with excuses, then you're not really ready to do what it takes to make it happen.

Ok, fine. I'll play. The ONE meeting in my area in a time and day that I can attend is 15 miles away. I'm aware of OA and I have read all about OA. I am not a religious person and I do not need to find god. I do not need to be preached to. I shot it down without going any further because I didn't want to offend people. Obviously I have not been afforded that same courtesy here.

I attended an OA meeting with a family member. There was mention of "your higher power" which could be anything, but not God. There was no religion talk. No preaching. Just people sharing their stories, food diaries, things that worked for them, things that didn't. It was support. Whether that's indicative of all OA meetings or not I can't say, but if you can't afford a therapist it can't hurt to attend one meeting to see if it's something that will work for you.

I don't have a binge eating disorder, but I have binged on many occasions. I know that it's about more than willpower for someone with the disorder. But I second what most others have said about getting help. You aren't going to get better just by asking for advice from strangers on the internet. We can tell you not to eat the snacks, we can suggest for you not to go into the kitchen, or to make better food choices, but ultimately you are the one who has to make the change. And you know yourself better than any of us. If you can do it on your own, kudos to you. But all of my friends who have had binge eating disorders have only fully recovered with professional help.

I saw a quote once that said "Your workout is the most important meeting of the day that can't be missed, with the most important person in the world. Yourself". It's the same thing. You have to make the time. You just have to. It won't be fun or easy but that's what it will take to save your life.

As some people said, your job might offer counseling services through human resources for free. And groups like Overeaters Anonymous are free and can be really beneficial. Please don't be ashamed to get help or make excuses (or valid reasons!) why you can't change. Your life is at stake here.

Hang in there! I used to binge too- I gained 30 lbs in three month binging every day. Can you try to limit yourself to one or two treats per day? I agree with those who said to log anyway - writing it down will help. Speaking of writing, journaling can help with the binging - sometimes it helps to get your feelings on paper. hang in there- don't give up.

Unfortunately I work 55 hours a week, so it's not possible to attend any sort of meeting.

make time

I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for over a year and half. I work 50-60 hours a week and I make time to work out AND attend meetings because it is something that I want to make time for. It is really hard sometimes, and it is by no means going to be easy. You have to make sacrifices. Some weeks I focus more on my family or friends and so I make time to attend an online support group...there are tons of support groups on the internet :laugh:

I am an emotional food binger so I understand what you mean by the uncontrollable factor, you've eaten 3 servings before you even realize what you're doing right? Yeah, it sucks. One of my remedies to avoid the office snacks is to always have a snack drawer. I keep things that are sweet and salty to satisfy my urges like planters granola bars in my desk. I keep bananas on my desk too. There are lots of healthier options out there doll! You can do it!!

Add me and we can keep on each other to keep strong :flowerforyou:

Just to be clear, when I suggested a support group I was not suggesting that you "find god", I was just suggesting talking to people who know exactly how you feel and can help you not feel so guilty and angry with yourself.

That's what I was looking for here. Instead, I got a bunch of people attacking me and blaming me for an issue that is clearly mental and a handful of helpful people. I was expecting a community that was supportive and helpful and instead found a bunch of extremely rude, hurtful people who seem to have forgotten what it's like to get started or never even knew what it's like to be 140 lbs overweight to begin with.

To be blunt, it's not about people who don't know what it's like to be 140+ overweight or who forgot how to get started, its about asking for help without giving any facts to your case. What you seem as attacks are people giving advice or suggestions and instead of you responding with "I looked into that, but it's not what I need" you simply dismiss it as though you're looking for someone with the magic wand. I'm not saying you're looking for a magic wand, I'm simply stating that you start an account, post a request for help and when people post, you seem dismissive. Nobody here knows you, knows what you have or have not done, what your triggers are, or anything else about you.

You post that people are rude, and while some are, others are just trying to help and you take it as an attack. You're not hurt...you're reading pixels on a screen. That's it. Take what will work for you and ignore the other stuff.

My first response was going to be stop putting food in your mouth or to try some willpower, but I know it's not always that simple.

Do I know what it's like to be 140 lbs overweight? Yes I do. Do I know what it's like to just start out? Yes I do. Does any of that mean that I know why you binge or you seem as though you can't stop? No I don't, because I don't have that problem.

If you have a mental/emotional problem, this "supportive community" online isn't the only thing you need. It can most definitely help, but you also need someone or a group of someones close to you that you can relate with and a support group in your area can help with that. If OA is the only thing in your area that even remotely fits that bill, then take the parts of it that can help you and dismiss the rest. You don't need to agree with the religious side of things, but giving it a shot and talking with some people from the group isn't a bad idea. I don't know if you've attended the meetings or just "looked into it," but until you try it out you don't know if you will find someone who feels the way you do with the same issues as you.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give you some tough love here.

All I am currently reading are a bunch of excuses.

You say you 'can't' avoid the snacks? Why not? You're a big girl. It is up to you what you put in your mouth. Obviously you are like myself. I cannot just have a small serving of the junkie stuff, because it makes me want more and more and more. No one is forcing you to eat these snacks. Just eat what you've brought to work with you/have bought, and don't eat the snacks.

It really is that simple. It takes you to actively grab the snacks and put them in your mouth. Yes it will be hard to say no at first. But if weight loss is what you want more than anything else, you're going to have to put in the hard work.

And before you dismiss my tough response, I want to point out that I used to be Bulimic and know exactly what it is like to be addicted to food. But you know what? I got sick of the cycle of unhappiness I had put myself in. Every day is a struggle, but I have realised that just avoiding 'trigger foods' for now has helped exponentially.

Just walk away. You'll forget about the snacks. It might not seem worth it in the moment, but it will be down the road, when you're the one looking hot in your bikini.

Also consider 'replacing' snacks with some tea, sugar free chewing gum or you know, work. lol.

EDIT: I attended an OA meeting when I first started getting recognisably sick in 2010. This program did nothing for me, as I am Jewish, and do not relate to the heavily Christian-based ideology behind the '12 step program'. Holding myself accountable and dealing with my emotions is what helped me most.

Overcoming binge eating is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm not going to say I'm "cured," but I started logging on Feb 5th, and I haven't had an out-of-control binge as of yet. I feel good about my odds right now. Four months ago, I never would have imagined I would ever have four binge-free months under my belt.

I would suggest adding a good group of like-minded friends and opening your diary up (if you haven't already). Force yourself to log everything, and close out your diary every night. Accountability has really helped me stay on track. I like knowing people are checking up on me, because it really does affect my choices for the better.

I know those who feel as though they have no willpower hate hearing that it comes down to that, but it really does. If you're anything like me, you obsess about food whether you're eating it or not. Overeating never stopped me from obsessing. In fact, it always made it worse for me. I figured I had to eat what my mind was telling me to eat to calm those obsessive thoughts. It never worked. I still obsessed. So, I could obsess and eat and obsess some more, or I could obsess and not eat and lose weight. The second option is definitely the better of the two.

It sucks you have to be surrounded by all of these tempting foods. That is definitely an added obstacle. You need to take away your permission to eat it -- any of it, free or not. Bring your own food/snacks, and tell yourself the snack area is off limits. Find a satisfying snack that you really enjoy, and plan to have that in the evenings. Remind yourself that you have that to look forward to at the end of the day. Also, plan a higher-calorie day once a week or every couple of weeks. Allow yourself to eat up to or slightly above your maintenance calories on those days. Make that your day to enjoy the things you crave the most. It's all about having something to look forward to.

I really believe you can overcome this. There are a ton of people here on MFP who have done it, so it's gotta be possible.

I feel for you tweetspie!

I would like to give my support to the responses that suggest cognitive therapy - with a therapist. It may include some medication experimentation for underlying mental health issues - which may not help with weight loss in the short term. However, if there are underlying mental health issues that can be helped with medication, finding the right med will help with weight loss over time. It may reduce the "triggers" that seem to initiate the binges if this happens to be your situation.

Regarding OA, I would google the program and try to pick up their main textbook at a used book store or library in your area--see if the underlying philosophy is something that you are open to. I went to several meetings and did not find the meetings helpful. Even though the program may be a "spiritual" program as others have commented here, it is all worded in terms of "god," and if this verbiage is a trigger then the meetings will not be totally helpful. Even if "god" is not mentioned by the people at the meetings, they are a structure thing - there are readings from books, etc., and the underlying idea is that there is some higher power that we need to surrender to. The meetings I went to were full of successful people on the program. Those who were successful all adopted the first step and were very vocal about it - they were powerless to x. This is a fundamental step of 12 step programs and leads to much success. However, not everyone is willing to be powerless - and I think that since you post here you may not be there yet. I, personally, cannot accept that I am powerless to food, etc. Further, even if I am, and am in denial, I choose to find something that works for me with this belief. This is why OA was not for me.

I have struggled with major depressive disorder (add a bit of anxiety) that demonstrated itself with overeating/binge-eating, over drinking/binge-drinking, and over sleeping/binge-sleeping (yes, it can happen). Once I had a decent doctor, it took 8 months and 4 different medication tries to find something that helped me take the edge off. Once I found that, it took 6 months on the medication, that is, six months of not beating myself up about my binge-eating (which still occurred), to begin to try to lose weight. Yes, I gained weight in the meantime. The key here is that the beating myself up about the negative behavior started a cycle - feel bad - binge - beat myself up - repeat. It didn't feel right, but I gave myself a break, and over time was able to start something positive. I am not perfect, but am getting better because I am slowly changing the way I think about my behavior (cognitive therapy), and how I think overall.

There are non-surrender-based support groups for addiction. That may be a good place to start a search - and ask around - community college, therapists, etc.

My therapist sees me after hours, and even the time there, to focus just on me and the issue I want to talk about in the session, is very valuable. I swear I talk about the same things, or same patterns, every other session, but that is the point - slowly, over time, they change. Keeping in the forefront of my mind is the most important thing on a day-to-day. I find forums like this, in general , to be so counter-productive (as you have commented), so I really advocate finding some way to get some one-on-one time important. Look at your Employee Assistance Program at work. If you don't have medical coverage, maybe try to find a therapist that has a sliding-scale fee structure. If you have limited medical coverage, maybe it coves a group-therapy setting. If you are taking classes at any college/university - you should have some mental health resources coming your way.

I know your situation is not mine - but thought I would offer my experiences for your consideration!

Be nice to yourself! If you were able to "just stop" you would. If you were able to "just figure it out," you would. You are a multi-faceted, complicated person - so your issues are too. This is normal. It is also a pain in the a#@.

It's not about being hungry. I will often eat until I'm on the verge of vomiting. I understand that I have a serious problem. Even if I take my own snacks to work (which I did today) I will eat them TOO or I'll eat the other snacks instead.

I use to be the same way as a kid, I was 175 lbs at the age of 10 and lost over 60 lbs at 12 years old and kept it off until I hit 25 (last year) new job, new life, more stress, full time student, wife, etc. Food was the way I dealt with life ya know before I knew it I was up to 196 lbs. But all that changed in one night. After loosing 10 lbs in 2 months, one night I ate 2 pints of Chicken fried rice, half of a pizza and 24 cookies. My legs became swollen as well as my feet (they would usually swell up if I ate a lot of sugar or sodium), I had a hard time breathing, and my whole body began to shake and sweating profusely and I broke down and started crying in the shower I was so afraid that I had done something to myself that I couldn't undo.

I really understand where you are coming from. I had a rather emotionally challenging childhood I was teased a lot in school, bullied, and had no friends and I was raised by a single parent my daddy and food was really comforting for me. But that day that the incident happen is the day i realized that I had a problem I had a lot of emotional baggage and i didn't want to deal with it and it was dealing with me, I would go on crazy food binges after big weight loss successes and sit in my car and cry because I felt like i was sabotaging myself.

But once I made up my mind to lose weight there was nothing that could get in my way, when I didn't have access to a gym the house/furniture became my weight room, if I didn't have access to a microwave I would either go to the gas station down the street or take a cold lunch to work. It's all about prevention don't wait until you get hungry to eat. I eat about 8-12 times day ( I don't go longer than a hour without food) I just changed what I eat. I too sought counseling which was very very helpful I moved about 2 hours away from the place I was raised (not for that reason, i transferred colleges) and it really has been a breath of fresh air for me.

My advice is to take your weight loss very slow, to experience every stage and emotion because it is a very emotional journey, Pray and read the Bible for strength. Find out your triggers/reason you find comfort in food. Explore things you like to take you mind off of food. Lastly, If I were you I would ask my employer to put a microwave in the lounge area or if you could bring a reasonable sized one and put it on your desk. I do sincerely wish you all the best I know it's hard but this can be done, take care :-)

It's not about being hungry. I will often eat until I'm on the verge of vomiting. I understand that I have a serious problem. Even if I take my own snacks to work (which I did today) I will eat them TOO or I'll eat the other snacks instead.

I use to be the same way as a kid, I was 175 lbs at the age of 10 and lost over 60 lbs at 12 years old and kept it off until I hit 25 (last year) new job, new life, more stress, full time student, wife, etc. Food was the way I dealt with life ya know before I knew it I was up to 196 lbs. But all that changed in one night. After loosing 10 lbs in 2 months, one night I ate 2 pints of Chicken fried rice, half of a pizza and 24 cookies. My legs became swollen as well as my feet (they would usually swell up if I ate a lot of sugar or sodium), I had a hard time breathing, and my whole body began to shake and sweating profusely and I broke down and started crying in the shower I was so afraid that I had done something to myself that I couldn't undo.

I really understand where you are coming from. I had a rather emotionally challenging childhood I was teased a lot in school, bullied, and had no friends and I was raised by a single parent my daddy and food was really comforting for me. But that day that the incident happen is the day i realized that I had a problem I had a lot of emotional baggage and i didn't want to deal with it and it was dealing with me, I would go on crazy food binges after big weight loss successes and sit in my car and cry because I felt like i was sabotaging myself.

But once I made up my mind to lose weight there was nothing that could get in my way, when I didn't have access to a gym the house/furniture became my weight room, if I didn't have access to a microwave I would either go to the gas station down the street or take a cold lunch to work. It's all about prevention don't wait until you get hungry to eat. I eat about 8-12 times day ( I don't go longer than a hour without food) I just changed what I eat. I too sought counseling which was very very helpful I moved about 2 hours away from the place I was raised (not for that reason, i transferred colleges) and it really has been a breath of fresh air for me.

My advice is to take your weight loss very slow, to experience every stage and emotion because it is a very emotional journey, Pray and read the Bible for strength. Find out your triggers/reason you find comfort in food. Explore things you like to take you mind off of food. Lastly, If I were you I would ask my employer to put a microwave in the lounge area or if you could bring a reasonable sized one and put it on your desk. I do sincerely wish you all the best I know it's hard but this can be done, take care :-)

The OP's objection to OA meetings was the "finding God" aspect. I don't think prayer and Bible reading will be helpful to her, but I'm happy it is working for you.

It's not about being hungry. I will often eat until I'm on the verge of vomiting. I understand that I have a serious problem. Even if I take my own snacks to work (which I did today) I will eat them TOO or I'll eat the other snacks instead.

I use to be the same way as a kid, I was 175 lbs at the age of 10 and lost over 60 lbs at 12 years old and kept it off until I hit 25 (last year) new job, new life, more stress, full time student, wife, etc. Food was the way I dealt with life ya know before I knew it I was up to 196 lbs. But all that changed in one night. After loosing 10 lbs in 2 months, one night I ate 2 pints of Chicken fried rice, half of a pizza and 24 cookies. My legs became swollen as well as my feet (they would usually swell up if I ate a lot of sugar or sodium), I had a hard time breathing, and my whole body began to shake and sweating profusely and I broke down and started crying in the shower I was so afraid that I had done something to myself that I couldn't undo.

I really understand where you are coming from. I had a rather emotionally challenging childhood I was teased a lot in school, bullied, and had no friends and I was raised by a single parent my daddy and food was really comforting for me. But that day that the incident happen is the day i realized that I had a problem I had a lot of emotional baggage and i didn't want to deal with it and it was dealing with me, I would go on crazy food binges after big weight loss successes and sit in my car and cry because I felt like i was sabotaging myself.

But once I made up my mind to lose weight there was nothing that could get in my way, when I didn't have access to a gym the house/furniture became my weight room, if I didn't have access to a microwave I would either go to the gas station down the street or take a cold lunch to work. It's all about prevention don't wait until you get hungry to eat. I eat about 8-12 times day ( I don't go longer than a hour without food) I just changed what I eat. I too sought counseling which was very very helpful I moved about 2 hours away from the place I was raised (not for that reason, i transferred colleges) and it really has been a breath of fresh air for me.

My advice is to take your weight loss very slow, to experience every stage and emotion because it is a very emotional journey, Pray and read the Bible for strength. Find out your triggers/reason you find comfort in food. Explore things you like to take you mind off of food. Lastly, If I were you I would ask my employer to put a microwave in the lounge area or if you could bring a reasonable sized one and put it on your desk. I do sincerely wish you all the best I know it's hard but this can be done, take care :-)

The OP's objection to OA meetings was the "finding God" aspect. I don't think prayer and Bible reading will be helpful to her, but I'm happy it is working for you.

Thank you for pointing that out :-) But aside from the praying and reading the bible I gave a lot of other advice that I hope she might find helpful as well, like many of the others that have responded.

Unfortunately I work 55 hours a week, so it's not possible to attend any sort of meeting.

make time

QFT

If you really want to find a way, you will. You can either make the decision to stop shoving food in your mouth when your not hungry or admit you might have a problem and need help and find a way to fix it.

Time may be scarce but you shot down that idea without even looking into the program and seeing if there is a time slot you can make. The majority of us have jobs, kids, or both...but making time for what is going to end up helping you is worth the effort.

Posting on an internet forum might help for about 3 seconds, but if you shoot down the sound advice with excuses, then you're not really ready to do what it takes to make it happen.

WORD! bump this.. very true

Also - make as many HARDCORE friends as you can on MFP... when I started all I did was sit and find hardcore motivators...I don't have a ton of weight to lose, but they keep me going...and they give me crap when I need to keep going...accountability from these people and the little ticker that says I've logged in every day...as well as cheering when i see the "completed food diary UNDER GOAL" has been a new game...

Apparently I have to play games with myself to get this done? friend me, I'd love to be there for you