Hating myself.

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135

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  • Pigme1979
    Pigme1979 Posts: 4
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    Oh hun. Life gets us down and ya'll know what? We get back up again. I'm here if you be needin support.
  • SamH28
    SamH28 Posts: 1 Member
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    Read every single comment in this chain. Some amazing and really heart-felt replies here.
    That's my advice.

    Oh and don't eat yellow snow, that's also good advice and I didn't see it in any of these replies.
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
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    Don't Hate yourself. I know it is so easy to say those words, but it is true you have to love you. All of you! Accept who you are right now. I had to learn this too! It was the hardest part of the journey for me! Then work towards a healthier version of this person. You are very worth the time, and effort. Ask your husband for positive help, by ensuring you have an hour a day for you to work on you. That means he keeps kids, animals, and distractions away from you. I was told it takes 15 to 20 times of you doing something in order for it to become routine. For me this means I go directly to the gym after work (if I don't I won't get my exercise in cause I forget about me at home) I also think of my time at the gym as my release. I have a high Stress job, and who's life at home is not stressful? At the gym I put on the headphones and just go. I don't think about anything but how I am moving, and I let go!!! Food is just fuel, and while we should enjoy it, we should not obsess over it. I can not, and don't diet!!! I altered my lifestyle, and my choices. I don't cheat (implies I'm being bad) I splurge b/c I deserve it! Try for 80/20! 80% good choices, and 20% pleasure choices. Seek help from someone(professional) It is not normal to be sad all the time with periods of happiness. It should be the opposite!! Happy with a small bought of sadness occasionally! The only person who can make the change is YOU!!!!! Let me share my Mantra that helps me, and the way I now look at my life.... "HEAL is the biggest part of Healthy!"
  • redhotbeads
    redhotbeads Posts: 62 Member
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    Hey, I could've written that!

    I am right there with ya. Last year I lost 13 lbs. Guess what? I gained it back. I had surgery a couple weeks ago and can just now start walking again, and I'm another week until I can do any weights. Of course in the meantime I had a bunch of life stuff go on, my gym attendance was spotty at best .... and now I feel like a cow.

    You gotta get back on the horse. I didn't gain it overnight and neither did you - but just start moving ... a little at a time! I've started with 20 min. walks at work this week ... IT'S A START! You did it before, and you can do it again.

    I agree with blondegah; it might be worth talking to the doc about some antidepressants or at least how you are feeling and what you can do to improve it.

    It WILL improve. Just try a little at a time .... and here is a giant hug for you.
  • rose228822
    rose228822 Posts: 186 Member
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    I'm done. I hate myself so much right now and absolutely disgust myself. I was doing so well with eating healthy, losing weight, being active. Then our life just took a horrible turn and I literally holed myself up in my room and don't want to be seen by anyone anymore. I am embarrassed by how I look and am embarrassed for my kids. I have no excuse for myself. I just quit caring. Today, I looked in a full length mirror and about made myself throw up. The sad part, is I gained all my weight back and then some. It all seemed to come back straight to my upper stomach and I feel like I look preggo (which I'm not), but I can't suck it in anymore. Just needing some advice to get back into things again. I'm afraid to go out of the house anymore and with summer here, that's just not an option with my kiddos. I'm a snacker, and emotional eater, etc. I was doing so well with healthier snacks, but now that I've fallen into bad habits again, it seems I'm hungrier now. The worst part is my husband has gained more back than I have all he ever wants to do is go to eat, or eat crappy foods. I don't want to make him made and cranky, so I give in, and always feel absolutely horrible after. It's taken a toll on our relationship as we hardly talk anymore and I try to avoid him so I don't have to even talk about it anymore (we have the discussion almost daily). How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless? I'm just trying to reach out for some advice....sorry for rambling on.

    Please don't be so hard on yourself...try to suggest ideas to get you two out of the house even if it's walking to a local restaurant to eat, at least you would have taken advantage of a nice walk. Or perhaps both of you go bike riding, still try to do things together but not focusing on food. I think if you just sit down with him and let him know how miserable you feel about yourself and that you want and need his support to help you get back on track then it might do some good. It would be good if you two could lose weight together.
    I am also an emotional eater but have learned to avoid eating when i'm stressed out or feeling very anxious about something and so forth.
    If you would like a support of a friend oh here please count me in...and the first step is reaching out to others for support and help!
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Everyone has pretty much summed up my thoughts as well.

    The main thing you have to remember is that "YOU CAN DO IT!" You just have to want to do it more than you want snacks.

    I went through a rough patch as well where I lost my job and went through a depressing time. After a month I had put on 15 of my pounds that I had lost back on. Luckily I had the means to be able to take a few months off and decided about a month in that I wasn't going to let it get the best of me. Started turning everything I did into habits. You need to find something you like. I found that I love cycling. Borrowed a friends bike and used it for a month. Then went and got my own. Now I do it all the time. I also enjoy Ping Pong (sounds goofy I know), but it burns a lot of calories as well, and it's super fun. I spend 45 minutes in the gym before work no matter what, and then I try to do things I enjoy in the evening.

    My biggest advice about going out and about and being worried about what people think is DON'T. I know that's easier said than done, but 99% of people would say they want you to succeed, whether they know you or not, if you asked them. I promise you that.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    Do this for you and no one else. If your husband wants to do it with you, great. If not, do it anyway. Not easy, I know! Trust me, battling with your husband over this can eat at your marriage. Yes, we should be concerned for our loved ones health, and their poor health affects us too, but I have learned you can't change someone til they are ready. I KNOW what I speak of.

    My husband will not commit to a healthy weight loss & exercise program. Type 2 diabetic insulin dependent w/high BP, high cholesterol, cardiac stent in place, numerous hospitalizations and he sleeps with a machine for apnea. At one point, he was on about 12 meds. And he knows I fear an early death for him. But the tension re: getting him on board was destroying my marriage, so I gave up. Oh, he knows it still bothers me, but he's not ready & I can't force it.

    Bottom line: do it, with or without your husband. And don't let his lack of commitment deter you from your goals, or somehow be an excuse as to why your aren't reaching yours. It would be great if he was 100% with you and doing it with you, but unfortunately, sometimes we have do go it alone. But you are so worth it. Do not hate yourself, just start afresh and new.

    Maybe share my husband's story with yours? Just a thought. Let him know what might be in his future if he doesn't change. Gently, of course.

    Much luck to you!
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    Read every single comment in this chain. Some amazing and really heart-felt replies here.
    That's my advice.

    Oh and don't eat yellow snow, that's also good advice and I didn't see it in any of these replies.

    YES! Never eat yellow snow. That's one we can all agree on!
  • HealthyStartsHere
    HealthyStartsHere Posts: 126 Member
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    I'm done. I hate myself so much right now and absolutely disgust myself. I was doing so well with eating healthy, losing weight, being active. Then our life just took a horrible turn and I literally holed myself up in my room and don't want to be seen by anyone anymore. I am embarrassed by how I look and am embarrassed for my kids. I have no excuse for myself. I just quit caring. Today, I looked in a full length mirror and about made myself throw up. The sad part, is I gained all my weight back and then some. It all seemed to come back straight to my upper stomach and I feel like I look preggo (which I'm not), but I can't suck it in anymore. Just needing some advice to get back into things again. I'm afraid to go out of the house anymore and with summer here, that's just not an option with my kiddos. I'm a snacker, and emotional eater, etc. I was doing so well with healthier snacks, but now that I've fallen into bad habits again, it seems I'm hungrier now. The worst part is my husband has gained more back than I have all he ever wants to do is go to eat, or eat crappy foods. I don't want to make him made and cranky, so I give in, and always feel absolutely horrible after. It's taken a toll on our relationship as we hardly talk anymore and I try to avoid him so I don't have to even talk about it anymore (we have the discussion almost daily). How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless? I'm just trying to reach out for some advice....sorry for rambling on.


    The first thing you need to do is breath. Try closing your eyes and just breathing. It sounds stupid but it really helps. It seems like there is a lot going wrong in your life. More than you are even writing/admitting. And It sounds like you feel out of control. The worst thing to do is stress out and binge because this is going to create a vicious cycle that you won't be able to control. I know, because it's hard for me to ration food because I binge when I am depressed. I know what that is like. But it's not going to help. You need to fix what s wrong. And this maybe talking to your husband, if he is your husband he must listen. If you ever need support or someone to talk to, friend me and shoot me a message.

    You are not disguising and worthless, you are strong and beautiful! and I know it's hard to get back up and try again, but you must. It's hard-- trust me, I know but it's worth it! You can be happy
  • triinityz
    triinityz Posts: 146 Member
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    I've yo-yo'd most of my adult life. I'm an emotional eater too and it's hard to get off of that roller coaster. You need to fix what causes the overeating, not the overeating itself. I'm amazed how, as I resolve the issues in my life, my attitude and emotions have healed and in turn I no longer mindlessly binge.

    I still have my moments, but the day-to-day does get easier. Best advise I can give you is to pull up your big girl panties, start working on what is making you miserable in your life, and stop feeling guilty about how you cope. You got this!
  • tphil58
    tphil58 Posts: 89 Member
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    We all will fall(fail), that is a given. Some harder and farther than others. All you can do is start again with a new mindset. Just take it one step at a time. I feel the most important step is the first one...no matter how many times you have to take it. You can do it.
  • hopefloatsup
    hopefloatsup Posts: 207 Member
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    I am amazed to see there are so many wonderful people still out there in the world. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart...I truly can't express that enough. I let a couple horrible heartless people get me down to the point of hating myself and actually believed them about how worthless I am. That was my fault for letting this evil human being win. I got this. I have to.
  • Colleen118
    Colleen118 Posts: 491 Member
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    When I started my changes little more than a year ago, I was MISERABLE with hate for myself. I hated how I looked, hated how I felt, felt like I was an embarrassment to my kids and husband, didn't deserve to find or be happy and dying wasn't going to happen fast enough. What happened? I got mad. Pissed. LIVID. I was mad at myself for becoming so worthless, pissed that I wasn't getting hep from my doctor like I thought I should (still feel he should have helped more but...), and LIVID that he actually told me I wanted to die and would NEVER do anything to try and lose weight.

    I did research
    I made a plan
    I put it in to action
    I have lost 74lbs to date

    Not quite so cut and dry since there were PLENTY of mornngs I wanted to just give up and crawl right back in bed, but I didn't. I created a drill seargeant alter ego in my brain that would quite literally remind me of how pathetic I was and who had no issues calling me (or myself as it were) ridiculous names. It may sound harsh to think of such an approach but it worked for me. You need to find what will work for you.

    What won't work is continueing to let your husband talk you in to eating poorly. The foods you are eating are more than likely the cause of your increased hunger. If feeling sorry for yourself can be turned around to make yourse;f drill you into doing what is right, then take that route. Also, if the hubs won't jump on board then travel the road without him for now. Maybe when he starts to see that you are serious, he will also begin more serious changes.

    Most imprtantly, stop giving up on you!
  • sally_jeffswife
    sally_jeffswife Posts: 766 Member
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    I think prob the majority of everyone on here has gotten to a point where the weight loss was less or where they were sick etc and can't work out as much and they just get really frustrated at the amount of effort and time it takes to get results. But just realize your physical body isn't who "you" really are. Its just like insulation keeping the real you safe and warm. And on days I get discouraged cuz of the amount of time its taking or cuz I have to go to the lake or somewhere I gotta put on a swimsuit in public and there are many other bone skinny people out and about. Then I go on youtube and watch success story videos and see that it is possible for people that have the same amount of weight as me to lose weight. Or sometimes just take a day for yourself helps so you don't get too burned out and then hit it that much harder the next day. I do think just forcing yourself to get out and about does help alot. Not only does it help with burning calories but it helps you to be more comfortable and most times you will come across many other people out and about just like you. Bugs me sometimes that my husband can drink regular soda all day long and add salt to everything and not gain an inch but I have horrible times even eating healthy to keep it off unless I am constantly working out and watching what I eat. But am thankful he is supportive of me even though he doesn't diet. And I have gained some real muscles and I'm sure you have too....that you can surely be proud of. Hang in there you will get there and don't get down on yourself. I think you are a beautiful person just for the fact alone that you are not conceited and you are selfless you put others first makes you a pretty cool person.
  • Becksga
    Becksga Posts: 70 Member
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    Oh and don't eat yellow snow, that's also good advice and I didn't see it in any of these replies.

    Hee hee
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    There are some EXCELLENT replies in this thread. One thing that I think would be beneficial for you is seeking professional help. It's very hard to take that step, but you've already proven that you're a strong woman by coming here and being open with your struggles and your feelings.
    You've already taken the first step by being open to change. You CAN do this!

    P.S. If you would like a friend in this, feel free to add me. I spent many years of my life hating myself too. It helps to have a support system of people who care for and love you no matter what but are also going to support you in bettering yourself. My boyfriend tells me that I don't need to lose weight and I'm beautiful and all that stuff because he loves me, but he also understands that I need to change myself and fully supports that. Having that kind of love and support is extremely helpful.
  • GnomeLove
    GnomeLove Posts: 379
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    You can't do anything but start again, right now.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
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    i'm hating myself to for a rediculous reasons. bent the valves on my engine doing my timing belt.

    if i didn't shoot myself in the foot so much my life would be pretty damn borring tho
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Decide that you are NOT disgusting and worthless.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    OP :flowerforyou:

    Take this flower and blossom x

    YOU can do it! Just believe in yourself, if all these people on MFP can reach their goals then you can too x

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