First Apartment with boyfriend - any advice?

Yep...completely normal. I'd been with my boyfriend (now husband) less than a year before we moved in together. Thing is, we knew we wanted to see how we got along under the same roof (sleepovers aren't the same) because we wanted to see if it would work long-term. Turned out that it did. We've been living together for four years, married almost three.

Advice--always have enough room in your place to have a little corned to yourself. It's not always sunshine and rainbows living with someone, so it's nice to have a release (fitness center, library nearby, second bedroom/reading nook). Don't go to bed angry (no one ends up sleeping). And know that you're both taking a chance on each other--that's a beautiful thing.

It's great that you have your mom's support--that's really important. Also good to be realistic and know that if things don't work out, it's not the end of the world. Pick yourself up, dust off, and keep increasing your confidence. Best wishes on you and the beau's new place!

Who's going to be the first to fart in front of each other? You or him?

Don't get a joint bank account - it all gets screwy when you break up and need to get rid of it!


My advice

It's easy to be nervous, I moved in with my husband when I was 20 and it was my first time from home.

Just ensure that you have somewhere that can be called your own space as you do not want to live on top of each other. If you can't catch a break sometimes, you'll end up arguing and being in such close quarters all the time can drive you nuts xx

I agree with what has been said, don't have a joint bank account as it gets problematic. I have been married over four years and have never felt the need.

Don't drop not-so-subtle hints every birthday, christmas, kwanzaa, flag day, valentines day, D Day, labor day, cinco de mayo, memorial day, earth day, groundhog day, halloween, leif erikson day, rosh hashana, guy fawkes day, and yom kippur about an engagement ring. If he is ready he will propose.

Separate bank accounts.

Make sure he has a job first.

Never rent-to-own furniture or appliances. Use milk crates if you have to.

Make sure you don't move next door to 1ConcreteGirl... or Urkel... or just_fur_luck.

Steer clear of the midwest. They get a little uptight when black women start stealing all their white men.

It will be fine.
Has your Mother explained your role?
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, getting your man a beer?

Who's going to be the first to fart in front of each other? You or him?

NO NO NO - no farting in front of your significant other. Burping is bad too. My advice (before I saw that post) was exactly this: do not get too comfortable that you scratch inappropriate stuff or fart in front of him. lol

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Have you split up the chores yet? Do you agree on how often they happen? Have you agreed to let each person do their chores their way? I do laundry, but my man likes his clothes folded a certain way, so he folds his own clothes. I am ok with him not getting to the bathrooms every single week.

Have you figured out the finances? I agree with the previous poster about not having joint bank accounts. If you do open one, it should only be for shared expenses with enough of a buffer to avoid fees and overdrafts. Keep your paychecks and your savings in separate accounts. How are you splitting rent? Utilities? Decor? Groceries? Is the division 50/50 or proportional to income?

Have you discussed etiquette for coming home at night? Do you need to let each other know if you are working late or if you are staying out past a certain time? If you discuss this before the fact, it is clearly just setting expectations; if you wait until one of you is pissed off, it will feel like a control issue.

These may seem mundane, but they are the most common stress points in otherwise healthy relationships.

On a legal note: do you live in a state that recognizes common law marriages? You should both be aware of how this might affect your rights and responsibilities down the road.

ETA: I am in the go ahead and fart camp. He needs to know you are human. It will come in handy when he is disappointed in you for some reason or other down the line.

My two pieces of advice:

1) After you guys have a fight, try to do something nice for him right afterwards (or shortly there after). It lets him know, "Hey Im mad, But we are still good."

2) Crap with the door closed.

You are nervous because you are entering into a terrible sin. Sin means it is bad.

You might be struck with lightning, but I don't know if God still does that.

"If he likes it, then he better put a ring on it." -- Beyonce.

pretty sure God said save judgment for Him.

That's why I said "I don't know" and "you might."

I like to leave God room to work.